Christmas Ornaments (or the impending death thereof)...A Continuing Series

Christmas is a time of the year to reflect on the true meaning of the words, "Survival of the Fittest." Turkeys, pigs, evergreen trees; you are all put on notice from December 1st to December 24th. In our house, that warning extends one step the Christmas Ornaments. Those lovely childhood mementos stand little chance up against 2007's most infamous mass murderer, The Notorious Three of Three.Once a noble Santa stood tall and proud, now he is merely two creepy red sticks of the man he used to be.Not even the iconic Snoopy was spared from her Rampage of Carnage..That's much more disturbing than a headless horseman, if you ask me.She moved from heads to legs, which are apparently less messy to transport and easier to shove in the freezer. Or something like that. Poor, tailless bird.I know it's hard to make out, but that little nugget on the box? A foot from, yes, our most important holiday figure, the Man in Red, Santa Claus himself.Her reign of terror knows no limits.

Notice how she so subtly lures her prey into the trap."Well, aren't you just the pwettiest fing I have ever seen! Wanna pway wif me?I have my Chwistmas dwess on and we are gonna have so much fun pwaying wif Dorwa and Boots!""Aha! Gotcha, sucka! You're mine, now. Mwahahahahaha!"

That kid? Pure. Evil.