;)
Tuesday
Jan082008
I'm gonna get killed for this one
Tuesday, January 8, 2008 at 2:35PM
(Updated: Yep, totally busted. Shit.)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Elvis' birthday. Who cares?
That's right. I just talked smack about the king. Whatcha gonna do 'bout it? I also wear tacky clothes and eat Twinkies soaked in gravy, and ain't nobody ever screamed and/or fainted when I walked on a stage. As for the whole "hip-gyration" thing, clearly you've never seen me drunk.
Anyway, today is someone else's birthday, too. I have two paths in front of me right now; the shiny, pastely, gold-plated road of adoration and the dark, weedy, overgrown path of bitchiness.
Guess which one I'm heading down.
The nice thing about having ex-boyfriends is that sometimes, if you are very careful and very lucky, you get to keep them around long after you've broken up with them in the horrid, teenaged way you did. Keeping them around is nice, because you get someone to giggle about the good ol' days with, someone who knows little things about you that even your very best girlfriends don't, someone who rocks your socks all the time. (In the laughter way, not the adultery way, you pervs.)
You know what makes it even more fun, though? Having a blog and a prideful ex, that's what. See, my ex will never admit to reading this blog, and the precious few comments he's left have been so carefully anonymotized that I had to do a bit of googling before I could figure out who they were even from. He's strange like that. I read his blog and my comments are all, THIS IS FROM MR LADY, THE FIRST GIRL YOU EVER SAW NAKED. His? Hi. This is some random reader. Shhhh.
There is a point here. Someone turns 33 today, and someone else thought she'd flip through some old pictures of him. Because, honestly, what's he going to do about it? Leave me a comment? That would totally be outing himself, and there are things Funny Ol' does do and there are things Funny Ol' doesn't do; outing himself from his cloak of invisiblogity would be in the doesn't category.
This is a picture I cropped out of a group picture in our high school yearbook. I was one of the photographers for the yearbook. Why? To take pictures of him, that's why. I was sorta stalking him in high school. And yes, he totally hated me for it. (I think I made up for it after high school, though.)
Every single person I have showed this picture to has said one thing, and one thing only. "Suspenders?"
Be ye not fooled by the suspenders.
There are some things in life that one can do well, very well, even if one wears suspenders, by simply reading a book or two.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Elvis' birthday. Who cares?
That's right. I just talked smack about the king. Whatcha gonna do 'bout it? I also wear tacky clothes and eat Twinkies soaked in gravy, and ain't nobody ever screamed and/or fainted when I walked on a stage. As for the whole "hip-gyration" thing, clearly you've never seen me drunk.
Anyway, today is someone else's birthday, too. I have two paths in front of me right now; the shiny, pastely, gold-plated road of adoration and the dark, weedy, overgrown path of bitchiness.
Guess which one I'm heading down.
The nice thing about having ex-boyfriends is that sometimes, if you are very careful and very lucky, you get to keep them around long after you've broken up with them in the horrid, teenaged way you did. Keeping them around is nice, because you get someone to giggle about the good ol' days with, someone who knows little things about you that even your very best girlfriends don't, someone who rocks your socks all the time. (In the laughter way, not the adultery way, you pervs.)
You know what makes it even more fun, though? Having a blog and a prideful ex, that's what. See, my ex will never admit to reading this blog, and the precious few comments he's left have been so carefully anonymotized that I had to do a bit of googling before I could figure out who they were even from. He's strange like that. I read his blog and my comments are all, THIS IS FROM MR LADY, THE FIRST GIRL YOU EVER SAW NAKED. His? Hi. This is some random reader. Shhhh.
There is a point here. Someone turns 33 today, and someone else thought she'd flip through some old pictures of him. Because, honestly, what's he going to do about it? Leave me a comment? That would totally be outing himself, and there are things Funny Ol' does do and there are things Funny Ol' doesn't do; outing himself from his cloak of invisiblogity would be in the doesn't category.
This is a picture I cropped out of a group picture in our high school yearbook. I was one of the photographers for the yearbook. Why? To take pictures of him, that's why. I was sorta stalking him in high school. And yes, he totally hated me for it. (I think I made up for it after high school, though.)
Every single person I have showed this picture to has said one thing, and one thing only. "Suspenders?"Be ye not fooled by the suspenders.
There are some things in life that one can do well, very well, even if one wears suspenders, by simply reading a book or two.
That's all I'm saying about that.
Reader Comments (19)
before the suspenders, i noticed the hair. kinda like michael douglas', i'm thinking.
long live the king! (i'm with you on the elvis love - more like the king of boring to me.)
I noticed the hair first off too. He looks like he should be in politics.
Donald Duck... SWEET!
All I could think was 80's! You KNOW he looked cool back then.
doo-doo-doo-doo (twilight zone song)
I've been thinking about my first boyfriend all day today, because this was our anniversary. He was a super cute grunge kid with long hair, and green Docs. circa 1992. I LOVED him...somehow still do.
I didn't even notice the suspenders until you said. Oooops.
Happy Birthday to the ex.
i can't stand elvis...never liked him. but, liked the post!
Aw. You're a smokin' hottie in that pic Mr. Lady! You look like a model!
You're ex looks like a total preppy!
Gurl! You were a hottie at 19!
Uh yea...I second the "suspenders?"
Thanks so much for sharing...I've been thinking about my ex's lately too, but have no courage to blog about it ;)
Fantastic. I'll offer my reply here:
http://ehmeh.wordpress.com/2008/01/08/it-was-a-day-like-any-other/
like you , i was a photographer for yearbook. unlike you i have never kept an ex in my life. and now i'm want to try a gravy soaked twinky.
LOL, love this post. Those suspenders are quite something, that hair is just so typically 80's!!
Yeah, I noticed the suspenders first. Then the hair.
Thanks for commenting on my blog last week. I did a quick glance of yours last week and knew it would merit a return visit when some reading time was available. I like the way you write!!
With 4 leeches, er wonderful kids, I'm short on reading time. But I added you to my feeds.
Oh my....!
You open the door to the time machine and beckon me in but I won't go. no. I won't.
See what you did?! You've made me think terrible thoughts about Giardini, little clay indians, and the great conspiracy.
Excuse me, I need a stiff drink.
That is an AWESOME shot of you.. and he looks like a floating head..
of course suspenders! If he was really rockin' it, he would have had on a band collar shirt too!
Dude. I just finally found the time to scroll down on your blog today. This post is entirely awesome, as is funny ol' and his suspendies (and a bra?)...
Don't you love how we snuck in those almost offensive pictures into the yearbook? I believe I got one of two dudes in your class looking like they were 'loving up' on each other on the choir page. We were hilarious. No. Really. Very funny.
[...] his birthday, I tried to write him a sweet post, but it ended up more salty in his mind. He tried to get me back today, and oh my did he ever fail [...]
I quite like the suspenders.
Secret Agent Mama's last blog post..http://secretagentmama.com/blog/2008/03/20/thursday-thirteen-xxix-happy-birthday-dear-mr-lady/' rel="nofollow">Thursday Thirteen XXIX: Happy Birthday Dear Mr. Lady!