At Least I Won't Have To Worry About Him Getting A Girlfriend Anytime Soon

2of3: Mom, look what I made for you!  (Holds up some piece of elastic with gold sequins pre-sewn into it)

Me, who hasn't had coffee yet, totally blowing him off: Uh huh.

Him: See how pretty it is!  It's got one sequin on it for every way you are the prettiest and best mom ever!

Me, totally repenting: Oh, honey, it is beautiful!  Thank you so much! If I didn't have puke breath, I'd kiss you!

Him: Isn't it great?  I worked really hard on it.

Me, picking up elastic bedazzled thingy of undetermined usage: You certainly did! (still have no clue what he contributed, btw)  I love you so much, I'm going to buy you a pony!

Him: Just buy me a math book, okay?