Wednesday
Oct222008
For Every Action
Wednesday, October 22, 2008 at 2:25AM | Mr Lady
The scene: the 8 year old and the 3 year old are goofing around on the couch.
The 3 year old gets a little too amped up, and starts tackling the 8 year old. And then the biting starts. The 3 year old is asked repeatedly to stop. She ignores all of us. I go over to her, get down on her level, take her hands in mine so she's forced to look right at me, and in my deepest mommy voice, say "Dude, stop. Do NOT hit your brother. Do NOT bite your brother. Do NOT jump on his head. NO NO. Do you understand that?" She nods, barely. "2of3 is all done. You will not touch your brother, okay?" She sort of shakes her head yes. "Okay, then."
I let go of her hands and slowly start to stand up. She reaches out her sweet, pudgy little arm, points out her delicate little pointer finger, and while still solidly holding my gaze, she slowly, deliberately, reaches over and puts that precious little finger right on his leg.
The appropriate reaction to this would be to:
The 3 year old gets a little too amped up, and starts tackling the 8 year old. And then the biting starts. The 3 year old is asked repeatedly to stop. She ignores all of us. I go over to her, get down on her level, take her hands in mine so she's forced to look right at me, and in my deepest mommy voice, say "Dude, stop. Do NOT hit your brother. Do NOT bite your brother. Do NOT jump on his head. NO NO. Do you understand that?" She nods, barely. "2of3 is all done. You will not touch your brother, okay?" She sort of shakes her head yes. "Okay, then."
I let go of her hands and slowly start to stand up. She reaches out her sweet, pudgy little arm, points out her delicate little pointer finger, and while still solidly holding my gaze, she slowly, deliberately, reaches over and puts that precious little finger right on his leg.
The appropriate reaction to this would be to:
- Ground her for the rest of her life?
- Throw my hands in the air and take up the drink?
- Research the legalities behind auctioning her off on eBay?
- Shoot a snot-rocket out of my nose while trying to stifle my laughter?
Reader Comments (74)
SO GLAD that I'm still awake! Nukegirl did the EXACT same thing today. I checked with ebay and it's a no go, so I opted for the dreaded "March your little butt upstairs" and then I shot the snot-rocket.
Once upon a time, NukeDad wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Nuclearfamilywarheadcom/~3/428291164/" rel="nofollow">Look What I Went And Started
I had a childless friend come over to stay for a couple of days and she witnessed a "moment" where I had to put my 2yo in timeout. But there was much dilly dallying back and forth because the little critter just wouldn't stay in the corner. I got down on her level and started with the stern act when she let out one of those long farts, and it was just put-put-putting against the diaper, I totally lost it and started laughing and gave up.
My friend says "You know you just lost there, don't you?"
Well, doh!
Some battles just aren't worth it.
Once upon a time, Gry wrote..http://www.neurosa.com/index.php/site/over_the_years/" rel="nofollow">Over the years
1. snot-rocket
2. apologize to 2 of 3 for snot-rocket landing on his chin
3. send 3 of 3 for some quiet reflection
4. Bottoms up!
Once upon a time, 'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PeddlinCrazy/~3/428228777/adorable.html" rel="nofollow">Adorable
Well this is what I would do-
Look directly at her and say. What. Did. I. Just. Say?
Then send her for a time out.
Then sit and feel pretty guilty about losing my cool with a three year old.
Then later have that drink and laugh uncontrollably about how crazy wonderful it all is and how in ten years I'll be missing it all.
All of the above, and maybe some chocolate thrown in for good measure!
Once upon a time, Vic wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/glowstars/fRUS/~3/427575723/" rel="nofollow">Brain Storm
Oh woman you are so screwed. SO SCREWED.
Once upon a time, SciFi Dad wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TalesFromTheDadSide/~3/427328985/buddys-birth-day-one.html" rel="nofollow">Buddy's Birth: Day One
I'd go with the snot rocket and the drink, not necessarily in that order.
I'd have an AWFUL time trying to keep a straight face while hustling the little imp off for some quiet reflection...
Once upon a time, allmycke wrote..http://fireweedroots.wordpress.com/2008/10/21/tjorro-2/" rel="nofollow">Tjorro
I like her style. Just what my three-year-old would do. At least she's got spunk!!
Once upon a time, Ali wrote..http://callapippertree.blogspot.com/2008/10/puddings-growing-up-and-toenails.html" rel="nofollow">Pudding's growing up and toenails
Totally spunky. That was me as the 3rd child and 2 sisters.
I think I am the reason my dad created a chant called "Leave each other alone". It was sort like a Marine chat with a Hoowah at the end. We just would keep repeating it over and over. Never worked. And to this day, I still push the limits.
Maybe you should send her my way to teach me a lesson.
Once upon a time, DC Urban Dad wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/mattnando/dcurbandad/~3/426637554/sarah-palinmeet.html" rel="nofollow">Sarah Palin.....meet Terry Tate
Snot Rocket ... and martini's for the next 15 years
Once upon a time, Nancy wrote..http://mariemillard.blogspot.com/2008/10/do-you-do-this-too.html" rel="nofollow">Do you do this too?
Snot rocket for sure. But I think you're gonna need a tracking device on that one! ;)
Once upon a time, Hockeyman wrote..http://hockeymandad.com/?p=135" rel="nofollow">Ideas Please
Step 1(so not politically correct) ! firm swat on butt.
Step 2 In a stern voice with a straight face send her to her room or time out or whatever.
Step 3 Briskly walk out of earshot, close yourself in the pantry or something) and let loose the snot rocket(but not on the food).
step 4 Cheers!
Once upon a time, Weaselmomma wrote..http://worldofweasels.blogspot.com/2008/10/sunday-slush-pile.html" rel="nofollow">Sunday Slush Pile
I believe she's what the parenting books call a spirited child, which is Latin for start buying stock in your alcoholic beverage of choice, cause the teen years, they are gonna be fun!
Once upon a time, Karen wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ForTheLoveOfPete/~3/426832768/good-day-for-meme.html" rel="nofollow">Good Day for a Meme
Dude. I didn't know we shared a daughter.
Mine bit her big sister in the back, because SHE wanted to get the apple out of the fridge. She broke skin, through a T-shirt... that was worn UNDER a sweatshirt. She broke skin through two layers of clothing. Over an apple.
I took up the drink. ;-)
Once upon a time, Diana wrote..http://oftheprincessandthepea.blogspot.com/2008/10/taxes-and-crack.html" rel="nofollow">Taxes and Crack
Oh man... Good luck with that one. Put a happy spin on it that she's extremely intelligent and just wants to test every single thing you say. Yes. Brilliance is hard to raise, isn't it?
Once upon a time, tracey wrote..http://tracey-justanothermommyblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/oh-where-oh-where-can-my-tracey-be.html" rel="nofollow">Oh where, oh where can my TRAcey be?!?
Snot rocket, then you go fix a strong one and make 2of3 a conciliatory milkshake.
Once upon a time, Elle Charlie wrote..http://sometimesagirlneedsablog.blogspot.com/2008/10/better-now.html" rel="nofollow">Better now
OOOooo Dude, I'm so glad I'm not the only mother in the universe with a child like that! My little darling does that kind of stuff ALL the time. I have come to the conclusion that I am so totally screwed so I took up drinking to help. ;)
Once upon a time, Darla wrote..http://dmmos.blogspot.com/2008/10/sin-city.html" rel="nofollow">Sin City
Wow, the balls on that little girl. Impressive. I LOVE IT! Especially since it is not MY child (this time). Be strong, Mama. I do love a good martini scented snot-rocket though.
Once upon a time, Iris wrote..http://beardediris.wordpress.com/2008/10/21/school-bus-bonuses/" rel="nofollow">School Bus Bonuses
yeah, that would be a punishable offense in our house. Time out, spanking, in the crib, something. We would ALL need a break at that point.
But yeah, from this side of the internet, it's pretty funny.
Once upon a time, moo wrote..http://moosmoo.wordpress.com/2008/10/22/parenting-is/" rel="nofollow">parenting is …
Isn't 3 just SO MUCH FUN?!
My little guy is at that stage right now too. I have mixed feelings...on one hand, I admire his fiestiness, but I SO won't put up with disrespect. I have literally had to walk out of the room so that he wouldn't see me laughing.
The problem? His preschool teachers are the same way...they can't help but laugh. I should invest in a comfortable chair to donate to the principal's office. I have a feeling I'll be spending a lot of time there once he gets to school!
Once upon a time, Ashlie- Mommycosm wrote..http://www.mommycosm.com/journal/2008/10/22/wordless-wednesday-field-trip.html" rel="nofollow">Wordless Wednesday: Field Trip
Wow, that's a tough one. My first thought was ebay, but it becomes an empty threat since you can't really DO that one.
Although a friend of mine threatened it so much her daughter (age 4) told her big brother (age 6) that "mom's gonna sell you on ebay if you don't stop!"
That brought on the snot-rocket. And a drink.
Once upon a time, Kool Aid wrote..http://butterfliesinmyhand.blogspot.com/2008/10/photos-are-back.html" rel="nofollow">photos are back!
They won't let you sell children on Ebay (I know this from experience). My daughter was very much like yours (and not to alarm you, but it doesn't get a whole lot better), and I can tell you that drinking helps. The snot rocket is, well, impossible to control. Taking away the Disney Channel, or Dora, or whatever she loves will sometimes do the trick. Well, until the next time. Yeah... hey... good luck!
Thank god it's not only my kids. Hello - brick wall? This is me and you are probably more responsive then my freakin kids when I tell them to stop doing something!!! I say Craigslist..... ;)
God help you with that one dude.
Tell her you'll let 1of3 deal with it. Any way he likes. Then don't interfere unless someone is bleeding and it is spurting or something is on fire.
My dad used to deal with us this way: if we hit a sibling, they got a free shot at us. Eventually, you stop antagonizing the bigger siblings...
Dude. I know. I KNOW! I actually wrote about it today. So you're telling me that it doesn't get better when they turn 3? Great. Awesome. *whimper*
Once upon a time, My Doppleganger wrote..http://mydoppleganger.wordpress.com/2008/10/22/my-kid-give-me-strength/" rel="nofollow">My kid, give me strength.
Someone recently implied to me (because I do it a lot) that a mother who says "dude" to her children won't be taken very seriously. Let me tell you who wasn't taken very seriously. I laughed at her because in my house "dude" with the proper inflection and tone is quite possibly more effective than the evil mom eye.
A couple weekends ago Bart was lobbing snowballs at Turtle. He has incredibly good aim and still managed to pretend it was "an accident" when he beaned her square on the back of the head after being warned several times. "Dude" was the first thing out of my mouth. The following chastisement was really not necessary at all. Just that one word was all he needed to know he'd crossed a line.
Interestingly enough, I think I may have learned it from you in the first place. A lot of my favorite parentig tactics I thank you for. :D
Once upon a time, Marge wrote..http://wheremytruthlives.wordpress.com/2008/10/20/795/" rel="nofollow">GreeblePix Entry
That's exactly why I tell my littlest it's a good thing she's so dang cute and funny, otherwise she would be dead.
Once upon a time, amy wrote..http://amysbratpack.blogspot.com/2008/10/and-there-goes-my-shot-at-mom-of-year.html" rel="nofollow">And there goes my shot at Mom of the Year
Clearly you're doing it wrong, if you didn't already have a drink in hand.
Well, most days I'd do the snot rocket. However, on days where my son has pressed every conceivable button to mankind, well, that's the day I'd probably pop his ball or throw out a toy. Or at least threaten to.
Once upon a time, Natalie wrote..http://www.startingfromhere.com/2008/10/o-hai-ready-for-another-post-with-multiple-topics/" rel="nofollow">O, hai, ready for another post with multiple topics?
Dude, I shot the snot rocket and I wasn't even there! I can't even imagine 13...damn, I need a drink. Cheers!
Once upon a time, sticky wrote..http://nottoosticky.blogspot.com/2008/10/relief.html" rel="nofollow">Relief...
Dude! Its always the cute ones. Think we can find a boarding pre-school we can send out 3 year old to?
Once upon a time, punk rock mom wrote..http://joeyelissasophia.blogspot.com/2008/10/eves-dropping.html" rel="nofollow">Eves dropping
haha ... of course the snot rocket - works EVERY time ... but keep a straight face it brings the message home a little harder.
all of the above. Just not in that order? (It's so hard not to laugh when they do stuff like that)
Once upon a time, Lynette wrote..http://myundercoverlife.blogspot.com/2008/10/tits-tats.html" rel="nofollow">Tits & Tats
ahhh I miss those days. Great post. Hope you went for the drink.
OH the humanity!!! ROTF!
We've had those moments in our house too, and I just CAN'T stop laughing. It's hard to take me for serious.. when all I can do is wipe my eyes.
Remember: what we dislike in children is the SAME thing we admire in adults....
I am trying soooo hard not to pee my pants while I laugh hysterically..................Reminds me of her Auntie Jen hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! When you figure out an appropriate response let me know. Cause I'm fresh out of ideas.
Let me know what you did or plan to do in the future m'kay? I feel your pain...
Once upon a time, KD @ A Bit Squirrelly wrote..http://abitsquirrelly.blogspot.com/2008/10/hillbillies-hackers-and-frat-boys-oh-my.html" rel="nofollow">Hillbillies, Hackers and Frat Boys, OH MY!
Punch her in the face?
I might not be ready to be a parent yet.
Once upon a time, Arjewtino wrote..http://arjewtino.com/2008/arjewtino-esq-and-other-jew-jobs-i-only-think-i-could-do/" rel="nofollow">Arjewtino, Esq., and other Jew jobs I only think I could do
If you're my mother, you'd spank her with a wooden spoon which would then snap in two, and you'd laugh and laugh and tell the story for years.
My mom always told me she would rip off both of my arms and beat me with them. I find that that usually quites them down a little. Of course then you have to try twice as hard not to snot rocket cause the look on their faces is soooo serious. - Maybe like arjewtino I too am not ready to be a parent, don't tell my kid... K?
Once upon a time, daisy wrote..http://totallytattoedmama.blogspot.com/2008/10/i-am-totally-cheap.html" rel="nofollow">I am totally Cheap...
so, I have an almost 15 month old whom understands the word no, but will smile while looking at you and do it anyways.... while giving me the same smart assed look I am the sole owner to - she stole it.
I dunno what to do. I just say no, redirect and over and over oh yea and repeat again.
_kids_
I do that to my wife.
Drives.her.nuts.
Once upon a time, Xbox4NappyRash wrote..http://xbox4nappyrash.blogspot.com/2008/10/keeping-it-surreal.html" rel="nofollow">Keeping it surreal
Houston...we have snot rocket.
And I would have so joined you in the moment, and then poured you the drink.
Hil.ari.ous.
I have a good friend who offered me this advice: when this event happens again, cause we all know it will, turn your back, cover your face (and smile/laughter) with your hands and fake cry.
It's worked a couple of times on my 2 1/2 year old - "awwww, Mama, what's wong, I'm sowwy?" Until the Oldest totally throws me under the bus..."don't feel bad, she's just playing."
I hate the smart ones.
Em
Once upon a time, Em wrote..http://eminpursuit.blogspot.com/2008/10/ww-hes-got-wicked-sense-of-humor.html" rel="nofollow">W.W. - He's got a wicked sense of humor.
I'm going with a combo answer of Blowing the Snot Rocket and then off to the kitchen to go pour a drink? Although, maybe I should say....not necessarily in that order.
Oh and check your gmail...Tracey should have sent you an email for the tee and needs some info from ya!
I can laugh because I have an only child. I agree with someone above: let 1 of 3 create the punishment. Do you have BevMo in Canada?
There's not an E... all of the above. If I have to pick (hahaha) I'd got with snot rocket.
Once upon a time, Tara R. wrote..http://ifmomsaysok.wordpress.com/2008/10/22/random-wednesday-one-man-one-woman/" rel="nofollow">Random Wednesday ~ one man, one woman
Why are you asking us when you know that snot rocket has already flown?
:P
Once upon a time, Maria wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ImmoralMatriarch/~3/427090294/" rel="nofollow">You’re My Weekend