;)
Friday
Oct032008
Say Ahllo To My Leele Freend
Friday, October 3, 2008 at 5:40PM
My mother in law left 3 hours ago, and I am sadly disappointed to report that I have absolutely no venom at all to spit. I have no horror stories to tell, I didn't cry once, I wasn't angry once, and I didn't murder anyone.
Thank god my son brought this beauty home. Now maybe I'll have some blood to show you:
Oh, yeah, baby. I'm sooo not bluffing:
Did you know that even if you are a registered Hamster Offended thrice convicted for at least second degree murder against hamster-kind, all you have to do is walk into your local elementary school, add your name (made up or not, your call) to a sign-up sheet, and they will hand you free, unsuspecting hamsters on Fridays?
Mwah tothemutherfucking hahahaha.
(Anyone know a good international homicide lawyer? I may need one.)
Thank god my son brought this beauty home. Now maybe I'll have some blood to show you:
Oh, yeah, baby. I'm sooo not bluffing:
Did you know that even if you are a registered Hamster Offended thrice convicted for at least second degree murder against hamster-kind, all you have to do is walk into your local elementary school, add your name (made up or not, your call) to a sign-up sheet, and they will hand you free, unsuspecting hamsters on Fridays?
Mwah tothemutherfucking hahahaha.
(Anyone know a good international homicide lawyer? I may need one.)
Reader Comments (42)
Noooooo, please don't hurt Ben and Socrates.
I just realized that may be a bit before your time.
Once upon a time, deb wrote..http://notnani.blogspot.com/2008/10/its-430-in-morning.html" rel="nofollow">It's 4:30 in the morning...
Our old school did that- for a weekend at a time- one family lost him in a ripped couch cushion and he died.
Once upon a time, tenakim wrote..http://therapyfortena.blogspot.com/2008/10/friday-fragments-beware.html" rel="nofollow">Friday Fragments- BEWARE
Oh dear, another hamster.
Poor little fella.
making me peckish now...
Once upon a time, Xbox4NappyRash wrote..http://xbox4nappyrash.blogspot.com/2008/10/while-you-were-sleeping.html" rel="nofollow">While you were sleeping
Oh no, more hamsters. Good luck.
P.S. So glad that the visit was uneventful. Did she soften or what?
Once upon a time, One Mom's Opinion wrote..http://onemomsopinion.blogspot.com/2008/10/vp-debate.html" rel="nofollow">VP Debate
Do you have Costco in Canada? Maybe you'd be better off just going there for your pets. I think you can get 2 or 3-dozen hamsters and a half-gallon of mayo for, like, thirteen dollars.
And look at how cute he is with his little carrot and whatnot. Little sucker doesn't even know whats comin.
Once upon a time, Matt wrote..http://redsparks.com/playpen/2008/10/01/no-mercy-%E2%80%93-the-first-rule-of-child-combat/" rel="nofollow">No Mercy! – The First Rule of Child Combat.
Ugh: hamsters give me the heebie jeebies. Good luck with that: better you than me!
Once upon a time, Melisa wrote..http://thesuburbanscrawl.blogspot.com/2008/10/searching-for-treasure-check-out-my.html" rel="nofollow">Searching For Treasure: Check Out My Booty!
You're a big talker . . . you know you love tiny, furry things :)
Once upon a time, LaskiGal wrote..http://laskigal.blogspot.com/2008/10/scents-of-self.html" rel="nofollow">Scents of Self
oh. no. say it ain't so....
Once upon a time, the planet of janet wrote..http://www.fromtheplanetofjanet.com/2008/10/turtles-are-experts-at-shell-game.html" rel="nofollow">Turtles are experts at the shell game
ohmygad. those feckers are so fecking noisy.
Once upon a time, ms. changes pants while driving wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/writeon/~3/409482017/i-feel-dirty.html" rel="nofollow">i feel dirty
And yet, I'm sitting here with two cats wondering what they can chase now that the cold is killing the fuckin' flies.
Good thing we're on opposite sides of the continent.
Once upon a time, Ree wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/hotfessional/KKFw/~3/410369131/" rel="nofollow">Haiku Friday - Stuff
Send him to me! I am apparently the crypt keeper of hamsters they live well past their prime and die in their sleep, however, if you want your bird dead inexplicably in hours? Send them instead! :)
Once upon a time, Special K wrote..http://specialk513.blogspot.com/2008/10/peace-in-valley.html" rel="nofollow">Peace in the valley
When is the soup being served??????
Once upon a time, Miss wrote..http://justmiss.wordpress.com/2008/10/01/she-keeps-inviting-me-back/" rel="nofollow">She keeps inviting me back….
We had one that my son (prophetically) named "Ivan the Terrible" (he was a Russian Dwarf Hamster)
Little so-and-so bit the hell out of me EVERY TIME I tried to handle it, once getting thrown across the room for his trouble.
The funny part is that Chaos, living up to his nick-name, let him out of his cage once and we thought all was lost, that we would find a little furry nugget behind the refrigerator some day and that would be the end of it.
Six months go by and no hamster. The one day my wife is doing laundry and she glances over at the cat bowl to see this little fat terror stuffing his cheeks with cat-food.
We caught him, put him back in the cage, and he died almost immediately.
Must have been a New Hampshire Russian Dwarf Hamster.
Once upon a time, ShredderFeeder wrote..http://www.shredderfood.com/?p=288" rel="nofollow">VeeP Debate..
By the way - welcome back, we've (I've) missed you. ;-)
Once upon a time, ShredderFeeder wrote..http://www.shredderfood.com/?p=288" rel="nofollow">VeeP Debate..
Careful...once they taste human blood they're all carnivore.
He he he
*rubs her hands together and sits back to watch the carnage*
Secretly, the teacher is hoping some unsuspecting family does the thing in so she doesn't have to. Trust me. She is.
Fooking rodents.
Once upon a time, for myself wrote..http://tokeepitreal.blogspot.com/2008/10/ship-on-wheels.html" rel="nofollow">Ship on Wheels
Uh oh. No background check?
Once upon a time, texasholly @ June Cleaver Nirvana wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JuneCleaverNirvana/~3/409472697/click-crap.html" rel="nofollow">Click. Crap.
Nooooooooooo!
Have you bought the back-up hamster yet?
Once upon a time, Latte Mommy wrote..http://lattemommy.blogspot.com/2008/09/overheard-at-my-house-crayola-edition.html" rel="nofollow">Overheard at My House: The Crayola Edition
That must be Canadian leniency....cuz here in the states they take these things seriously....I have restraining orders on my ass. I'm not allowed to come withing 20 feet of any rodent.
Once upon a time, Tammy wrote..http://thopgood-mylife.blogspot.com/2008/10/calling-all-teachers-and-parents.html" rel="nofollow">CALLING ALL TEACHERS AND PARENTS......
Oh no! I've just read about the other hamsters, and I fear for this little one's life. Children, keep your mom away from the hamster! (Mr. Lady, step *away* from the cage!)
Glad to hear that you survived the MIL visit!
Once upon a time, Linds wrote..http://themuseasylum.wordpress.com/2008/10/03/friday-fill-ins-5/" rel="nofollow">Friday Fill-Ins
Hamsters appear and a new Richard Gere movie shows up at the box office. Coincidence? Nights in Vancouver are going to smell a little more musky. Who cleans up those pellets eh?
Once upon a time, Punditdad wrote..http://punditdad.wordpress.com/2008/10/03/debate-my-one-fluttering-eye/" rel="nofollow">Debate My One Fluttering Eye
Heh heh heh...I'm afraid to click on the links to your rap sheet. The most I've ever killed was a goldfish. I contemplate genocide on my daughter's fine-finned friends that sit on our counter, but I couldn't imagine being the catalyst for a furry friend's demise. LOL
Once upon a time, Darcie wrote..http://cavedweller1019.blogspot.com/2008/10/man-is-by-nature-political-animal.html" rel="nofollow">"Man is by nature a political animal." ~ Aristotle
What's sad is that the first thing I thought of when I saw the picture on your post is that I know exactly what kind of hamster cage that is and who makes them.
Maybe I've been working at a pet store for too long.
:)
Once upon a time, Reese wrote..http://reesepie.blogspot.com/2008/10/packing-and-waiting.html" rel="nofollow">Packing and Waiting
Hey Lady! Are you sure that's a hamster? Looks like Richard Gere's gerbil.......not that I've seen it or anything.................just sayin' is all. Peace, Mike.
My hamster chewed a hole in the top of his cage and RAN AWAY when I was a kid. His name was Tooky. Traumatic. We would find signs around the house that he was still alive and enjoying his life on the lam.
An aside: I giggle whenever I tell people his name as an adult..b/c for some reason, I associate "tooky" with a va-jay-jay!
Once upon a time, Ashlie- Mommycosm wrote..http://www.mommycosm.com/journal/2008/10/3/haiku-friday-dont-play-with-your-food.html" rel="nofollow">Haiku Friday: Don't Play With Your Food
When I was young, I had a mouse that died within a couple weeks of me getting it.... come to find out he died from eating his litter.... his clay cat litter. I used it because I thought it would control the smell better. Dead mouse in clean fresh cat litter still smells worse than live mouse in dirty cedar shavings. Just so you know.
I used to like hamsters when I was little but now when I hold one I have an overwhelming urge to either squeeze it or throw it against the wall. They give me the heebie-jeebies. I can't wait until my kids want to bring one home, ack!
Now, set him free... into your home ventilation system and have him chew a leg or two off and all will be right with the force.
I had a hamster once, and never again. Those long teeth totally freak me out.
Glad it worked out with the MIL.
Once upon a time, wrongshoes wrote..http://wrongshoes.com/?p=548" rel="nofollow">Our cure for ADD: Novelty
@ MIQuilter - ROTFLMAO and I had to know, Quilting? So I clicked your link, man you make some FANTASTIC quilts.
The poor, poor innocent little thing. How's the therapy going for the kids?
Once upon a time, Melanie @ MelADramatic Mommy wrote..http://lacostamom.blogspot.com/2008/10/easy-weekend-recipe-3-crockpot.html" rel="nofollow">Easy Weekend Recipe #3- Crockpot Breakfast
Christ- we are Hamster Central up in here. And for some ungodly reason, they are thriving and healthy. Waking me up at 3am, stinkin' up the girls' bedrooms. UGH.
Once upon a time, Happy Hour Sue wrote..http://happymealsandhappyhour.blogspot.com/2008/10/vasectomy-day.html" rel="nofollow">Vasectomy Day
See? Dreading something really does help make it go better!
Once upon a time, April wrote..http://formerlyaprildawn.blogspot.com/2008/10/xmas-vacation.html" rel="nofollow">Xmas Vacation
AWWW, I was hoping for Mother-in-Law induced fury. Or at least a few nasty jabs. Did she suddenly start reading your blog? Or did you find a miracle liquor that makes you immune to the Mother-in-Law induced allergic rash?
I also want to hear all about your adventures in rodents. We've had trouble in this area also.
Once upon a time, Weaselmomma wrote..http://worldofweasels.blogspot.com/2008/09/widgets-midgets-and-weasels.html" rel="nofollow">Widgets, Midgets and Weasels
I've always referred to hamsters as "Bic Disposable Pets". I'm sure the school feels the same way.
Since you had such a good time with your MIL, would you mind taking mine in for a week? I'm sure she wouldn't notice that you're not me.
Once upon a time, Missives From Suburbia wrote..http://missivesfromsuburbia.blogspot.com/2008/10/be-still-my-heart.html" rel="nofollow">Be Still My Heart
*shudders* Hamsters? I have bad experience with devil hamsters that used to bite ...and then had babies and ate them. Then bit us some more. Then they bloodied each other up. I think something was wrong with them. Still, I'm scarred.
By the way, it's probably a bad idea to put them outside...just in case you were thinking such things.
Once upon a time, Ashley wrote..http://www.bosssanders.com/2008/10/05/excuse-mewhy-are-there-mangos-on-my-pork/" rel="nofollow">Excuse Me…Why Are There Mangos On My Pork?
Well good luck with this one. Ours is still alive and kicking though I'm not sure how after the stunts she pulled last week. The only thing that kept me from murdering the rat was my overwhelming love for my child.
Once upon a time, amy wrote..http://amysbratpack.blogspot.com/2008/10/gridiron-gals.html" rel="nofollow">Gridiron Gals
Lol, too funny. Good luck!
Once upon a time, Jaina wrote..http://girl-with-the-camera.blogspot.com/2008/10/fall-is-falling.html" rel="nofollow">Fall is Falling
I once brought home a hamster to a house with 4 cats. My mother asked me what I had named it. I told her I hadn't decided yet. She suggested "Lunch". And that was his fate...
Good luck with the vermin!
Once upon a time, Nell wrote..http://mamaguse.blogspot.com/2008/10/mousetrap.html" rel="nofollow">Mousetrap
Oh no..
I am silently saying little prayers for your little friend.. :)
Once upon a time, Kim wrote..http://www.joggingincircles.com/journal/2008/9/28/jic-winner-who-won-the-peanuts-dvd-find-out.html" rel="nofollow">JIC WINNER!!! Who Won the Peanuts DVD?? Find out!