Friday
Oct312008
Not a Halloween Post
Friday, October 31, 2008 at 2:11AM | Mr Lady
Today is The Donor's birthday, which means that I am fucking a man WHO IS ALMOST FORTY. Well, not right this very second; that would just be weird, but sometime before Christmas the odds are pretty stacked in my favour, which will put him EVEN CLOSER TO FORTY.
Oh, god, I am getting O.L.D. But he will always be OLDER.
Dear The Donor,
I met you when you were what, 23? I can't even remember, it was that long ago. You were fresh out of college, fresh out of a relationship, and so beautiful that the memory of you then makes me ache.
I remember the first time I saw your house; how tidy it was, how it was decorated and how your closet was organized, your books were all lined up on shelves, the bed was made. That is SO not your reality anymore. Yeah, I'm really sorry about that.
The past 13 years with you have been the stuff they design world class roller coasters around. For every up, there has been a down. Every soaring high has had a crushing low. And every single second was worth it. I have watched you grow over the years, and taken your hand as you've tried to lift me up, too. I have fought you every step of the way, and you have stayed right here by my side through every high and every low. You have taught me how to forgive, and if I ever had to list my flaws, my lack of the ability to forgive would top that (ridiculously long) list. You have shown me that sometimes in life, there are things worth fighting for, worth taking risks for, worth trying over and over again for.
You were just setting out into the world on your own two feet when I met you, and became a father before you knew what hit you, and a husband promptly after that. We both gave up the first glimmer of a "youth" we'd ever seen to embark on a path neither of us had any clue how to walk down, and through trial and tribulation we found our way through, together.
Today, you are 36 years old. You are more beautiful today than you've ever been, with your greying hair and your obnoxiously great legs. You are by far the funniest man I've ever met in my 33 years, and that is certainly my favorite thing about being married to you. Not a day goes by that I'm not shooting something out of my nose and looking at you with that look that says, "Did you REALLY just say that?" You are grossly inappropriate, freakishly intelligent, refined in a way I'll never be, and kind to a fault.
I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams that my children would have a father like you. The way you adore them, dote on them, and still manage to put your foot down when it's needed is a gift of character that I never received. I'm trying to learn it from you; maybe in another 10 years it'll rub off. You are teaching them what it means to be a father, to be a man, and having come from a world where that didn't exist, let me tell you that you are doing an amazing thing for these children. All four of us are blessed beyond all compare that you are the cornerstone of this family.
I tell people that we never fight, and they roll their eyes at me and Uh Huh me and I just let it go at that. But I think it's a testament to the man you are that we just don't ever fight. I tried to count the fights we've had on my hand, and I think I got to six? Maybe? If I stretched? Sure, we've had some really awful times, but you and I have always been friends. We still are today, 13 years and 3 kids later. I love being around you, and I hate that I barely ever am. I also hate that you pull my blankets off me at night, but it all balances out.
You quite literally get better every year. You seem to be more comfortable with who you are and where your life has taken you as every year passes. The 23 year old Donor I knew was witty and sharp and angsty and deep, and the 36 year old Donor I know today is still witty and sharp, but he has peace inside him. He is full of love and tenderness, and just enough asshole to keep him really fucking funny most all the time. And he's seriously hot. Which is nice.
Happy birthday, my darling. We will be waiting up for you tomorrow night to blow out candles and sing to you (and yes, I'll totally steal all the kid's KitKat's out of their pillowcases for you) and then, once we've gotten the zombie, the butterfly and the punk rocker to bed, I'll make sure you get the other present I've got planned for you.
Speaking of which, how exactly does one USE that iron thingy, anyway?
All my love, baby, all of it forever.
Oh, god, I am getting O.L.D. But he will always be OLDER.
Dear The Donor,
I met you when you were what, 23? I can't even remember, it was that long ago. You were fresh out of college, fresh out of a relationship, and so beautiful that the memory of you then makes me ache.
I remember the first time I saw your house; how tidy it was, how it was decorated and how your closet was organized, your books were all lined up on shelves, the bed was made. That is SO not your reality anymore. Yeah, I'm really sorry about that.
The past 13 years with you have been the stuff they design world class roller coasters around. For every up, there has been a down. Every soaring high has had a crushing low. And every single second was worth it. I have watched you grow over the years, and taken your hand as you've tried to lift me up, too. I have fought you every step of the way, and you have stayed right here by my side through every high and every low. You have taught me how to forgive, and if I ever had to list my flaws, my lack of the ability to forgive would top that (ridiculously long) list. You have shown me that sometimes in life, there are things worth fighting for, worth taking risks for, worth trying over and over again for.
You were just setting out into the world on your own two feet when I met you, and became a father before you knew what hit you, and a husband promptly after that. We both gave up the first glimmer of a "youth" we'd ever seen to embark on a path neither of us had any clue how to walk down, and through trial and tribulation we found our way through, together.
Today, you are 36 years old. You are more beautiful today than you've ever been, with your greying hair and your obnoxiously great legs. You are by far the funniest man I've ever met in my 33 years, and that is certainly my favorite thing about being married to you. Not a day goes by that I'm not shooting something out of my nose and looking at you with that look that says, "Did you REALLY just say that?" You are grossly inappropriate, freakishly intelligent, refined in a way I'll never be, and kind to a fault.
I never could have imagined in my wildest dreams that my children would have a father like you. The way you adore them, dote on them, and still manage to put your foot down when it's needed is a gift of character that I never received. I'm trying to learn it from you; maybe in another 10 years it'll rub off. You are teaching them what it means to be a father, to be a man, and having come from a world where that didn't exist, let me tell you that you are doing an amazing thing for these children. All four of us are blessed beyond all compare that you are the cornerstone of this family.
I tell people that we never fight, and they roll their eyes at me and Uh Huh me and I just let it go at that. But I think it's a testament to the man you are that we just don't ever fight. I tried to count the fights we've had on my hand, and I think I got to six? Maybe? If I stretched? Sure, we've had some really awful times, but you and I have always been friends. We still are today, 13 years and 3 kids later. I love being around you, and I hate that I barely ever am. I also hate that you pull my blankets off me at night, but it all balances out.
You quite literally get better every year. You seem to be more comfortable with who you are and where your life has taken you as every year passes. The 23 year old Donor I knew was witty and sharp and angsty and deep, and the 36 year old Donor I know today is still witty and sharp, but he has peace inside him. He is full of love and tenderness, and just enough asshole to keep him really fucking funny most all the time. And he's seriously hot. Which is nice.
Happy birthday, my darling. We will be waiting up for you tomorrow night to blow out candles and sing to you (and yes, I'll totally steal all the kid's KitKat's out of their pillowcases for you) and then, once we've gotten the zombie, the butterfly and the punk rocker to bed, I'll make sure you get the other present I've got planned for you.
Speaking of which, how exactly does one USE that iron thingy, anyway?
All my love, baby, all of it forever.
Reader Comments (60)
That was kinda sweet. Nice one.
Once upon a time, Xbox4NappyRash wrote..http://xbox4nappyrash.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-wife-whore.html" rel="nofollow">My wife & a whore
So you kind of dig this guy, huh? :)
Happy Birthday, Donor! Sounds like you're in for a great party...what's the name of the Marcy Playground song again?
PS - Thirty six is MILES away from forty, Goddangit!
He sounds like a real keeper. Happy B-Day Donor.
Once upon a time, Tara R. wrote..http://ifmomsaysok.wordpress.com/2008/10/30/beany-is-missing/" rel="nofollow">Beany is missing
Happy birthday, J! You know that ironing's not REALLY what she plans to give you, right?
Awesome Non-Halloween post! Happy B-day to the Donor!
Once upon a time, Melisa wrote..http://thesuburbanscrawl.blogspot.com/2008/10/close-but-no-cigar-and-really-not-even.html" rel="nofollow">Close, But No Cigar. (And really? Not even close.)
First you talk about having sex with a geezer.
Then you talk about his "special present".
Then you talk about an iron.
Which begs the question... you know what? Nevermind. I don't want to know.
(btw: my post today is totally up your alley)
Once upon a time, SciFi Dad wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TalesFromTheDadSide/~3/435692725/all-about-her.html" rel="nofollow">All About Her
I'd much rather being 36............again.........Happy Birthday Dude!
P.S. you go Lady!
13 years and going strong! That's quite an accomplishment in today's world!
Ps...me and my hubby just celebrated our 13th back in August!
Once upon a time, Tammy wrote..http://thopgood-mylife.blogspot.com/2008/10/dear-santa.html" rel="nofollow">Dear Santa,
Happy Birthday Donor Dude!
I really want to know about this iron thing, though. My donor dude is gonna be 39 in December and I think he's going to need something kinky to forget that fact.
;)
Once upon a time, Secret Agent Mama wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SecretAgentMama/~3/436522186/" rel="nofollow">l o v e t h u r s d a y
Happy Birthday Donor!
Once upon a time, Ree wrote..http://hotfessional.com/2008/10/30/the-one-where-i-ramble-again/" rel="nofollow">The One Where I Ramble. Again.
happy Birthday my dear baby brother! What a beautiful post! Made me cry sis
Once upon a time, Rachael Greedy wrote..http://rachaelgreedy.wordpress.com/2008/10/30/funny-shit-that-makes-me-laugh-today/" rel="nofollow">Funny Shit that makes me laugh today
Happy Birthday Mr. Mr. Lady!
Once upon a time, Maria wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ImmoralMatriarch/~3/436489319/" rel="nofollow">I’ll show you a Socialist, you fucking idiots.
Awwww, I love it!!! And a kit kit lover too - then he MUST be pretty damn cool :-)
Once upon a time, Shannon wrote..http://acraftymomsblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/thousand-words-thursday.html" rel="nofollow">A Thousand Words Thursday
"...but you and I have always been friends."
That's it, isn't it? Someone once told me, the perfect partner was someone you would hang out with, even if you couldn't fuck them.
Eh, The Donor ain't old. Steve turned 36 in June... he's OLD.
Enjoy your... ahem... candy.
That was awesome! Happy Birthday to the Old Guy from someone who is officially 6 months closer to 40 than he is (excuse me while I go cry over that fact).
Once upon a time, Kate wrote..http://eastcoastgirlinthemidwest.blogspot.com/2008/10/into-rabbit-hole.html" rel="nofollow">Into The Rabbit Hole
It all gets better past 40. ALL of it. I'm just sayin'.
Happy Birthday, Donor! Hope this is the best year yet!
Once upon a time, daysgoby wrote..http://jessalogic.blogspot.com/2008/10/and-youre-to-blame.html" rel="nofollow">...and you're to blame....
SO.SWEET.
Once upon a time, Nichole wrote..http://nicholeswordvomit.blogspot.com/2008/10/im-aunt-again.html" rel="nofollow">I'm an Aunt again!!!
Happy Birthday Donor! Hope 36 is your best year yet and filled with all the things you hope for.
Very nice post Mr. Lady. I love a gal who recognizes her blessings.
Once upon a time, Kate wrote..http://katescrazylife.blogspot.com/2008/10/interrupted.html" rel="nofollow">Interrupted
So. Freaking. Cute.
Once upon a time, Maria wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/MommyMelee/~3/435876035/not-mama-parts.html" rel="nofollow">the not-mama parts
A. Nice hair cut.
B. You have a little cheese cake showing in the picture.
C. Happy Hollow Weenie
Once upon a time, Audubon Ron wrote..http://ducksmahal.blogspot.com/2008/10/mello-during-working-hours-is-it-crime.html" rel="nofollow">Mello During Working Hours – Is it a Crime?
That is so sweet :^) Happy Birthday Donor!
Once upon a time, anne nahm wrote..http://annenahm.com/?p=708" rel="nofollow">The Rainbow of my Reading
How very sweet- thanks for not blogging while, you know, pleasing him for his birthday- that would be just creepy and maybe even messy.
Aw... The wife and I just had our 13th anniversary Tuesday. 13 years, and things is really getting good.
I think I need to know about that iron thing, too, though. Hmmm...
Once upon a time, I, Rodius wrote..http://www.irodius.com/2008/10/kitty-kitty-dog-kitty.html" rel="nofollow">Kitty, Kitty, Dog, Kitty
I'm so jealous (though not in the Rebecca DeMornay, Hand That Rocks the Cradle way, so don't worry)... and I think I might love The Donor, too... and I'm loving you more with every post (though not in a, you know, lesbian sort of way, 'cause I'm not a lesbian... and I'm guessing, given what The Donor's birthday present is, you're not either). Anyway, this made me laugh and cry a bit, too, and I just love that. So thanks!
LOVE that picture!!!
And hey you get to fuck a Scorpio. Good for you! We're very good at it.
;)
Once upon a time, jessica wrote..http://stapeliad.blogspot.com/2008/10/happy-halloweensamhain.html" rel="nofollow">Happy Halloween/Samhain!
The whole f-ing a geezer thing? Got that in spades. I was 23 when I was doing a 40-year old. And I was MARRIED to him. In a small twist of irony, today is his birthday too. Good thing he's in someone else's bed these days or I'd have to remind him that he's FIFTY NINE YEARS OLD as of today (and I'm not). Damn. That would be fun.
Once upon a time, Ms. Maxwell wrote..http://www.schaererville.com/2008/10/30-down-1-to-go.html" rel="nofollow">30 down, 1 to go
Sounds like an awesome guy--can he be cloned??
Just kidding! I like my hubby :)
Once upon a time, Jen wrote..http://travel2morgan.blogspot.com/2008/10/oh-so-rare-political-post.html" rel="nofollow">An "oh so rare" Political post
So sweet. Happy Birthday Donor!
That is photo is awesome :)
p.s. Scorpios rock!
Once upon a time, Momisodes wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Momisodes/~3/437664975/" rel="nofollow">Blinking. It’s Overrated.
Hey! Today is my husband's birthday too. Freaky! Happy birthday to your guy!
p.s. Damn you for making my Happy Birthday post look like chopped liver. grrrrrr...
Once upon a time, Jill wrote..http://charmingdelightful.blogspot.com/2008/10/happy-birthday-baby.html" rel="nofollow">Happy Birthday Baby
Very nice - happy birthday to the Donor.
And BTW 36 is NOT OLD!
Once upon a time, Don Mills Diva wrote..http://donmillsdiva.blogspot.com/2008/10/let-winning-begin.html" rel="nofollow">Let the winning begin...
What a sweet post. Happy Day, Donor!
And we are all about the "grossly inappropriate" business up in these parts as well.
Once upon a time, ZDub wrote..http://zakaryw.blogspot.com/2008/10/last-night-we-kicked-off-halloween.html" rel="nofollow">Like A Hooker In Reno
I always need to remember to come and visit cause girl you crack me up! Happy Bday to the hubby!
Happy Birthday from the best drinking buddy you never drank with!
Once upon a time, BusyDad wrote..http://www.busydadblog.com/entries/i-went-to-school-in-boston.html" rel="nofollow">“I Went to School in Boston”
What a lovely tribute...even after he steals the blankets, eh? Graham does that too and it makes me NUTS. Happy Birthday, Dude!
Once upon a time, Assertagirl wrote..http://www.assertagirl.com/?p=924" rel="nofollow">The Work-at-Home Closet
That is quite a tribute to The Donor. It would be best if I never showed this to me husband because he'd ask me why I never say anything this nice about him on my blog.
Well isn't that nice. I would like to know the details of the iron thingy, by the way, when all is said and done. Because I am sick like that. this is beautiful, actually, all smart-assness aside.
Once upon a time, Kori wrote..http://korij.blogspot.com/2008/10/halloween-and-photos.html" rel="nofollow">Halloween and Photos
aw...arent you sweet? I hope my hubby does not expect that kind of action for his bday on sunday
36 used to sound like the tip of the edge of old to me, but now that I'm 16 years away from it myself? (Don't laugh, I know I'm a baby, but I'm learning these things)...but it really isn't all that old. He (and you) are spring effin' chickens mah dear.
So Happy Birthday Donor. Seems like you've given Shan and the kids a lot more than your DNA.
Eeeeeek! You are scaring me, my husband turned 36 this year too and I never thought of it that way . . . banging an "almost forty-year-old." And even though I am only one year behind him, like you said, HE WILL ALWAYS BE OLDER! Bwahahahahah!
Anyway, Happy Birthday to your old man. May all his birthday wishes come true!
Happy Birthday!
Once upon a time, Jim wrote..http://h31n0us.blogspot.com/2008/10/stages.html" rel="nofollow">Stages
you are one lucky woman, srsly. i can only hope that after 13 years, i feel the same way. :)
Happy birthday to him. He should be careful tho - the butterfly is going to eat the icing off the top of his cake again. :P
and damn girl, you can WRITE. f/n brilliant.
Once upon a time, colleen wrote..http://feeds.b5media.com/~r/b5media/DrinksafterDark/~3/yj1x88BwFSs/" rel="nofollow">Are YOU the Most Interesting Man in the World?
happy b day donor. that's a great pic.
Once upon a time, raino wrote..http://momofboxer.blogspot.com/2008/10/here-kanga-here-boy.html" rel="nofollow">Here Kanga. Here boy.
I'm fucking a man who's almost 40, too. Don't tell my husband.
I KID, I KID. JAY SLASH KAY, PEOPLE.
But he really is almost 40.
This was a beautiful post. Kinda like you.
Once upon a time, maggie, dammit wrote..http://okayfinedammit.com/?p=2543" rel="nofollow">Mulling
I started fucking a 40 yr old just a few months ago that just happened to be 23 when I married him..and I may or may not be a 40 yr old that someone is fucking too, now I am depressed. Where is that Halloween candy?
Once upon a time, Kay wrote..http://specialk513.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-famous-niece.html" rel="nofollow">My famous niece
Great letter, but AWESOME photo! :) Happy Bday, Mrs. Lady (that's the counterpart to Mr. Lady, right?)
Once upon a time, Mama Bee wrote..http://momtobee.blogspot.com/2008/10/losing-my-religion.html" rel="nofollow">Losing My Religion
Can I give him a birthday present too? *evil grin*
LOL! Happy birthday, Mrs. Mr. Lady. Many long and happy returns. :)
Once upon a time, thedemigod wrote..http://burnedbutawesome.wordpress.com/2008/10/31/genius-runs-in-the-family/" rel="nofollow">Genius Runs in the Family
Wow. You are both so young. Happy Birthday!!
Once upon a time, Michelle wrote..http://drboymom.blogspot.com/2008/10/final-thoughts.html" rel="nofollow">Final Thoughts
ridiculously long...
Happy B-Day Doner... I love ya man, thanks for fixing my sister... ^_-