;)
Wednesday
Nov122008
Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Judged
Wednesday, November 12, 2008 at 3:48AM
Raino is in Vancouver this week for work, and after a long series of emails, we decided it would be fabulous fun to get together on Monday night for drinks. Which meant I got to leave the house for the FIRST TIME IN SIX WEEKS. Which was awesome.
I busted out the good makeup. curled the split ends back, put some freaking clothes on already, and headed downtown. We were meeting at a new bar right in the middle of the city, and we were both admittedly a little nervous. I got there 15 minutes early to save us a table and pace off some jitters, but since we'd agreed to meet outside, and since we didn't exactly know what each other looked like, I just threw my name on the waitlist and took my little 'we'll buzz you when we're ready for you because we're entirely too good to run around calling for people' Tron looking buzzer thing and headed out front.
At about 8, they buzzed me and I went in to explain that my friend hadn't arrived yet, so I'd need to get bumped down the wait list. The girls behind the host stand graciously offered to seat me anyway, but I reiterated that I didn't know what my friend looked like, that we were just meeting for the first time, so I really needed to be outside.
This is the point where I need to explain that the bar that we agreed to meet at is The New Bar in town. It's all shiny and aluminum, with a great if not slightly over-thought menu, Justin Timberlake bumping in the stereo, and ALL THE HOT WAITRESSES IN BRITISH COLUMBIA. Seriously, I think they take your measurements when you interview. It is the restaurant of the pretty people. None of them are a day over 25, an inch over 28 in the waist, and they all look stunning in their little black outfits and high heels that they WAIT TABLES IN.
I refer to it as The Cornucopia of Porn Utopia. It's eye candy for sure, and I don't care what your sexual persuasion is. Those ladies be smokin'.
So when the cute little hostess in her almost but not quite too short black dress suit smiled understandingly at me and said with a little *wink*, "Oh, a blind date, eh?" well, what could I say? I could have said, "Oh, no, we're just blog friends and do you know what a blog is, because I write one but it's crap and she writes one, too, but it's not crap, and we read each other's blogs and since she's in town we just figured it wouldn't be right if we didn't meet" or I could have uttered a sheepish, resigned little, "Yeah."
So there I am in my hot boots and my sensible yet becoming black sweater-shirt thing (what do you call a sweater with short sleeves, anyway?) on a totally hot lesbian blind date in the middle of Porn Utopia and my date is NO WHERE TO BE FOUND.
After about 30 more minutes of pacing outside and getting accosted by a woman who was dead set into crying me out of all the spare change I wasn't carrying, I went inside to ask for a nice, stiff drink. And they offered to seat me at a table that looked outside. They're nice little minxes, I'll tell you what.
And I waited.
And waited.
And the hot hostesses kept looking at me.
And so I drank.
And at 9, I threw in the towel. She wasn't coming, and I'm now a pathetic loser who can't even get a BLIND date, and the hostesses were mumbling in my general direction, so I left.
Turns out, she was doing just about the exact same thing as me at the OTHER The New Bar a few blocks in the other direction. Though I don't think anyone thought she was a lesbian. Or maybe they just didn't have the balls to ask. Bygones.
She eventually figured out she was at the wrong place, and hopped out of the cab at the right place I kid you not within 2 minutes of me hopping into my car to head straight home like a good girl should.
Oops. While I was busy "driving straight home like a good girl should," she was busy calling my house, talking to The Donor, who gave her my cell phone number, which rang on my kitchen counter right where I'd forgotten to pick it up from, and then talking to him again on my house line, and then giving up, too.
Long story long short, we met up last night. And she's awesome. We had a really great time. Well, I had a really good time and she's probably bleeding from the ears right now, but the hostess from last night was the hostess tonight, too, and she totally believes that we weren't out "experimenting" on a weeknight.
Or so she says, anyway. It doesn't matter, anyway...she's totally out of my league.
I busted out the good makeup. curled the split ends back, put some freaking clothes on already, and headed downtown. We were meeting at a new bar right in the middle of the city, and we were both admittedly a little nervous. I got there 15 minutes early to save us a table and pace off some jitters, but since we'd agreed to meet outside, and since we didn't exactly know what each other looked like, I just threw my name on the waitlist and took my little 'we'll buzz you when we're ready for you because we're entirely too good to run around calling for people' Tron looking buzzer thing and headed out front.
At about 8, they buzzed me and I went in to explain that my friend hadn't arrived yet, so I'd need to get bumped down the wait list. The girls behind the host stand graciously offered to seat me anyway, but I reiterated that I didn't know what my friend looked like, that we were just meeting for the first time, so I really needed to be outside.
This is the point where I need to explain that the bar that we agreed to meet at is The New Bar in town. It's all shiny and aluminum, with a great if not slightly over-thought menu, Justin Timberlake bumping in the stereo, and ALL THE HOT WAITRESSES IN BRITISH COLUMBIA. Seriously, I think they take your measurements when you interview. It is the restaurant of the pretty people. None of them are a day over 25, an inch over 28 in the waist, and they all look stunning in their little black outfits and high heels that they WAIT TABLES IN.
I refer to it as The Cornucopia of Porn Utopia. It's eye candy for sure, and I don't care what your sexual persuasion is. Those ladies be smokin'.
So when the cute little hostess in her almost but not quite too short black dress suit smiled understandingly at me and said with a little *wink*, "Oh, a blind date, eh?" well, what could I say? I could have said, "Oh, no, we're just blog friends and do you know what a blog is, because I write one but it's crap and she writes one, too, but it's not crap, and we read each other's blogs and since she's in town we just figured it wouldn't be right if we didn't meet" or I could have uttered a sheepish, resigned little, "Yeah."
So there I am in my hot boots and my sensible yet becoming black sweater-shirt thing (what do you call a sweater with short sleeves, anyway?) on a totally hot lesbian blind date in the middle of Porn Utopia and my date is NO WHERE TO BE FOUND.
After about 30 more minutes of pacing outside and getting accosted by a woman who was dead set into crying me out of all the spare change I wasn't carrying, I went inside to ask for a nice, stiff drink. And they offered to seat me at a table that looked outside. They're nice little minxes, I'll tell you what.
And I waited.
And waited.
And the hot hostesses kept looking at me.
And so I drank.
And at 9, I threw in the towel. She wasn't coming, and I'm now a pathetic loser who can't even get a BLIND date, and the hostesses were mumbling in my general direction, so I left.
Turns out, she was doing just about the exact same thing as me at the OTHER The New Bar a few blocks in the other direction. Though I don't think anyone thought she was a lesbian. Or maybe they just didn't have the balls to ask. Bygones.
She eventually figured out she was at the wrong place, and hopped out of the cab at the right place I kid you not within 2 minutes of me hopping into my car to head straight home like a good girl should.
Oops. While I was busy "driving straight home like a good girl should," she was busy calling my house, talking to The Donor, who gave her my cell phone number, which rang on my kitchen counter right where I'd forgotten to pick it up from, and then talking to him again on my house line, and then giving up, too.
Long story long short, we met up last night. And she's awesome. We had a really great time. Well, I had a really good time and she's probably bleeding from the ears right now, but the hostess from last night was the hostess tonight, too, and she totally believes that we weren't out "experimenting" on a weeknight.
Or so she says, anyway. It doesn't matter, anyway...she's totally out of my league.
Reader Comments (46)
and were you wearing those damn Crocs?
I bet you were.
So the hot chick wouldn't have thought you so damn hot anyway.
Kelley wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/MagnetoBoldToo/~3/448846057/" rel="nofollow">I cheated. I strayed. The one man in the world that always anticipated my needs. Please forgive me.
Wait... you were in the middle of "porn utopia" with "little minxes" on a "lesbian blind date" and you didn't hook up?
Talk about wasted potential for a blog post... fuck, even make it fictional, but with that much fodder you've got to do something.
Won't SOMEBODY think of the male readers?
SciFi Dad wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TalesFromTheDadSide/~3/449436313/how-to-remember.html" rel="nofollow">How To Remember
LOL..I could totally see that happening to me...Glad you two got together...
Color who jealous?
Secret Agent Mama wrote..http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/SecretAgentMama/~3/0SftnnLqatA/" rel="nofollow">With Words Wednesday
That totally reminds me of that movie... what was it? Singles? From the 90's with Matt Dylan, and Eddie Vedder as his drummer...
Remember the girl on a blind date with the biking guy at the wrong restaurant? And HER date hooked up with her roommate! I guess, be glad that THAT didn't happen, eh?
tracey wrote..http://tracey-justanothermommyblog.blogspot.com/2008/11/talking-trash.html" rel="nofollow">Talking Trash...
Aw, fun! I love blogger blind dates. And hot waitresses.
Assertagirl wrote..http://www.assertagirl.com/?p=937" rel="nofollow">Calling all fashionistas.
I was going to ask how two BLOGGERS managed to miss each other because - hello? Twitter? Text? DMs and @s??
But, alas, cell phone was left at home.
Wait a minute. You DO use your cell phone for twitter, right?
Miss Britt wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/MissBritt/~3/449157368/" rel="nofollow">Officially the First “I’m So Nervous About BlogHer!” Post of 2009
j.e.a.l.o.u.s.
the planet of janet wrote..http://www.fromtheplanetofjanet.com/2008/11/can-you-hear-me-now.html" rel="nofollow">Can you hear me now?
Dude, I am so going to get skinny and then come up to Vancouver and be your pretend hot lesbian date.
Natalie wrote..http://www.startingfromhere.com/2008/11/lesson-learned-for-now/" rel="nofollow">Lesson Learned - For Now
OMG, meeting "blind" for the first time gives me an ulcer! I would've needed to get to the porn utopia about 30 minutes early just to drown myself in liquid courage! :)
Mama Bee wrote..http://momtobee.blogspot.com/2008/11/just-let-it-slide.html" rel="nofollow">Just Let It Slide
I'm glad it worked out (eventually.) It's amazing how many bloggers I would love to meet.
Jim wrote..http://h31n0us.blogspot.com/2008/11/country-roads.html" rel="nofollow">Country Roads
Love your pic of your green drink - apple martini? Or what the hell? See, I NEVER get out of the house so I have no freakin' clue what that drink is you were drinking...but good pic.
Lee the MWOB Queen wrote..http://momswithoutblogs.blogspot.com/2008/11/test.html" rel="nofollow">THE Original Mom Without A Blog
I recall you once telling me that "every girl is part lesbian, whether she admits it or not." And while all your male readers are drooling, all your female readers are secretly jealous of Raino - even those of us who've had hot dates with you.
Oh, and the cornucopia bit - *snort*
Marge wrote..http://wheremytruthlives.wordpress.com/2008/11/10/grin-and-bear-it/" rel="nofollow">Grin and Bear It
I am jealous you got to go out and play.. and drink green drinks.. lucky.
Kim wrote..http://www.joggingincircles.com/journal/2008/11/12/wordless-wednesday-sisters.html" rel="nofollow">Wordless Wednesday - Sisters
I haven't had the guts to meet a blogger in real life. Maybe once I actually give up the STATE I live in I can find one...maybe.
kd@abitsquirrelly wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ABitSquirrelly/~3/450459113/stretchie-to-six-pack-guest-post.html" rel="nofollow">Stretchie To Six Pack Guest Post!!
I was reading thinking ... didn't they exchange CELL PHONE numbers ... but since you didn't have it anyhow it wouldn't have mattered. See what happens when you leave the house.
Kristy - Where's My Damn Answer wrote..http://www.wheresmydamnanswer.com/WP02/?p=952" rel="nofollow">Getting Naked with Syrah
Please tell me you at least ordered a medium rare porterhouse while you waited. Like I always say "if you can't be, with the one you love, honey, have yourself a steak."
Also, I think its called a "short-sleeved sweater".
Matt wrote..http://redsparks.com/playpen/2008/11/07/the-preemie-adventure-barbara/" rel="nofollow">The Preemie Adventure - Barbara
What's the address this new bar?
VegasDad wrote..http://ivegasfamily.blogspot.com/2008/11/week-in-disarray.html" rel="nofollow">a week in disarray
I'm glad you finally found each other and got to hang out. :)
Jaina wrote..http://girl-with-the-camera.blogspot.com/2008/11/campfires-quads-and-sandstormsoh-my.html" rel="nofollow">Campfires, Quads and Sandstorms...Oh My!!
This will never, ever happen when we meet. I have really strong gaydar. Because I exude the gay vibe just as much as I pick up on it.
Wait... what are we really talking about here?
Miss wrote..http://justmiss.wordpress.com/2008/11/11/oh-jeez/" rel="nofollow">Oh jeez….
What a nightmare, being at the wrong places at two separate bars. Glad you two were able to meet up.
Oh well, you got two nights out from the mistake. Just not the evening you were planning on.
One Mom's Opinion wrote..http://onemomsopinion.blogspot.com/2008/11/political-wrapup.html" rel="nofollow">Political Wrapup
Wow, that's really cool that you were going to meet up with a fellow blogger (even if it did end up a lesbian blind date gone wrong). Thankfully, it all worked out.
You totally should have made out at the table just to eff with everyone. That would have been AWESOME and you would be my new hero.
Petra wrote..http://thewiseyoungmommy.blogspot.com/2008/11/stop-breathe-there-thats-better.html" rel="nofollow">Stop. Breathe. There, That's Better
Who doesn't love lesbians?
DC Urban Dad wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/mattnando/dcurbandad/~3/450017690/the-winner-is.html" rel="nofollow">Do you have balls?
If I was creepy with a side dish of weirdo, I'd be saying "you're cheating on me?" but I'm not. Or at least that is what my lawyer told me to say.
katie ~ motherbumper wrote..http://motherbumper.blogspot.com/2008/11/wall.html" rel="nofollow">The Wall
When we meet, can you remember your cell phone? You can forget the clothes. ;-)
Ree wrote..http://hotfessional.com/2008/11/12/octobers-new-commenters-finally/" rel="nofollow">October’s New Commenters (Finally)
I want a hot lesbian date with you.
Sarcastic Mom wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/sarcasticmomdotcom/~3/450364335/" rel="nofollow">Introducing… FUZZBALL!
This is an AWESOME story. You crack me the hell up. Seriously. I'm glad you had such a good time on your second try at the blind hot date. :)
MommyTime wrote..http://mommysmartini.blogspot.com/2008/11/assessment-makes-my-head-spinand-not-in.html" rel="nofollow">"Assessment" Makes My Head Spin...and not in the good way, either
I love The Carpenters. Just sayin'.
Amazing the number of hits you get just with the mention of lesbian.
And for the record, Whiskey ain't telling the WHOLE story.
OOOOOOH AHHH .. BABY..
Remind me to spank you for driving home afterwards. Especially if I get to deliver it at what is assumed to be a bicurious drinkfest.
Zoeyjane wrote..http://mommyismoody.com/2008/11/10/on-being-a-girl/" rel="nofollow">On being a girl
Is that Midori? Cause if so, well, I don't think I can say it out loud but suffice it to say my crush on you will have intensified.
Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy wrote..http://lacostamom.blogspot.com/2008/07/100-late-things-about-me-for-my-200th.html" rel="nofollow">100 (Late) Things About Me for My 200th Post
What are you drinking? Radiator fluid?
hubs wrote..http://www.artifacting.com/blog/2008/11/12/a-random-walk-down-mainstreet-usa/" rel="nofollow">A Random Walk Down Mainstreet USA
I have only met a few bloggers. When they ask what I look like I always tell them to look for the guy who blocks out the sun. At 6'10 he is hard to miss.
Jack wrote..http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/2008/11/holding-grudge.html" rel="nofollow">Holding a Grudge
All's well that ends well right?
And also...what, no photos?
Don Mills Diva wrote..http://donmillsdiva.blogspot.com/2008/11/dawn-of-three.html" rel="nofollow">The dawn of three*
you keep teasing me with these stories and i might just have to plan a trip to Canada to take you out for a bright green drink!
mb wrote..http://blogmemama.blogspot.com/2008/11/why-cant-people-just-be-nice.html" rel="nofollow">Why Can't People Just BE NICE?
If t hadn't worked out so well, I would say that bites! I bet you had your hopes up, you were excited and anxious at the same time and then your mood took a nose dive at being stood up. But girl, NO ONE would stand up your sexy self and those "under 25 year olds" can't hold a candle to you!
That was like penthouse forum hot or what i would imagine penthouse forum would be like. Jk glad you guys finally met up and had a good time. Awkward blog friend meetings are the best.
Tim wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SogeshirtsBlog/~3/437347149/burger-wars.html" rel="nofollow">Burger Wars
Nah, she can't be out of YOUR league, babe.
Take it from someone whose made out with you. (Heh!)
Nah, she can't be out of YOUR league, babe.
Take it from someone who's made out with you. (Heh!)
Loralee wrote..http://loraleeslooneytunes.com/2008/11/12/admitting-defeat-without-my-google-reader/" rel="nofollow">Admitting defeat without my Google Reader
dude. When I got to Seattle next summer we have GOT to get together.
Kori wrote..http://korij.blogspot.com/2008/11/random-thursday.html" rel="nofollow">A Random Thursday
OMG "The Cornucopia of Porn Utopia"
OMG OMG OMG
I love you.
maggie, dammit wrote..http://okayfinedammit.com/?p=2605" rel="nofollow">Love Letter
I'm glad you liked my shoes. I was the waitress with the black shirt. I was totally diggin on you.
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] wrote..http://awholelotofnothing.net/ill-never-be-a-model/" rel="nofollow">I’ll Never Be a Model
If hot lesbian were into me, I'd consider leaving my house. Maybe.
always home and uncool wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/AlwaysHomeAndUncool/~3/451452563/when-love-walks-in-room.html" rel="nofollow">When Love Walks in the Room
I'm just going to speculate that the hostess was subtley checking to see if you were available....Mr. Lady! Wake up and smell the cosmos! You're lucky you didn't get a rufee while you were waiting....you and your hot boots :)
Jen wrote..http://travel2morgan.blogspot.com/2008/11/baby-needs-blankie.html" rel="nofollow">Baby Needs a Blankie
'The Donor', I effin' love that.
1sttimedad wrote..http://1sttimedad.wordpress.com/2008/11/15/marketing-at-mom/" rel="nofollow">Marketing at Mom
Hey, I live in Surrey and while I'm straight, I'd totally be your lesbian date. ;)
Courtney wrote..http://fiveseconddanceparty.com/?p=530" rel="nofollow">Thus Far, My Scariest Moment As A Parent