Wednesday
Dec242008
Merry Sleep Deprived Christmas
Wednesday, December 24, 2008 at 2:33PM | Mr Lady
So, I am the third-in-a-series-of-I-don't-know-how-many ghosts of Christmas past that are visiting Mr. Lady's blog this week. I'm Molly, author of Soapy Water, progenitor of The Kid, who named Mr. Lady "Mr. Lady" (more out of expediency and attempted formality than gender confusion, I promise). I've had the distinct pleasure of knowing Mr. Lady since my sophomore year of high school, which is totally just a few years ago, it can't be anywhere near something like 17 years ago, can it?
So, being handed the keys to her blog, my mind has raced at the ability to humiliate her with pictures of high school or tell stories about our debaucherous past. Then, I realized I cannot locate any pictures from high school, let alone the one in particular I'm thinking of in her red homecoming dress looking just like the future MILF you all know and love, and most distant past stories contain proximity to debauchery more than actual participation therein (like the time we were the only two sober girls at some wild, outdoor rave in Boulder when Mr. Lady was dating this one dreadlocked dude named Slinky or something), and our more recent tales of wildness, well, a real lady just never kisses and tells, if you know what I mean... (elipses added for Eddie, Merry Christmas)
The thing that has made Mr. Lady's and my friendship cement so fully is our shared love of parenting, something I think somewhere in our little high school selves we knew we would do together, in some place in our subconciouses, but never to the degree that it's played out in reality. This is a blog, afterall, about surviving parenting, kinda.
So. Here's my current parenting quandary. I really, really, really, really want to tell The Kid The Truth About Santa Claus. He's driving me crazy.
Going to bed on Christmas eve is a chore I dread every year. It's an anxiety-ridden spaz-fest. The following questions were posed to me this morning within the hour The Kid awoke:
And so on...
Come bedtime, I will give The Kid a warm bath, a nice warm glass of milk, valerian root, 5Htp, melatonin and have a dose of benadryl waiting in the wings. If past years indicate, I will be giving him that dose of benadryl somewhere around 11:30 pm. He will still be as alert and awake as a skitterish 10 pound dog in a house full of cats, with fireworks going off outside. I will lay down with him, try to rub his back and calm him down. I will drift off to sleep with him, jolting awake somewhere around 2am, slip out of bed, do the santa thing, and get back to bed around 3am with enough adrenaline pumping through my body from not getting caught in-Santa-flagrante that I won't fall asleep until 4am.
I mean, at what point does this whole thing become all a little, um, stupid?
It does feel kinda worth it, the morning after. The Kid is an appreciative joy to be around when he's opening presents, with the "thankyouthankyouthankyou's" and the "I always wanted a _______" and the "Santa really knows what I like, isn't that amazing's?" But, dude, it's killing my excitement, this whole Christmas Eve Hurdle.
So, readers of Whiskey in my Sippy Cup: What to do? Have you told your kids? How did they find out? How did you find out? I need advice, yo.
Also, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, etc. Blessings to you and yours, peace on earth, good will to men, and eat plenty of fiber.
So, being handed the keys to her blog, my mind has raced at the ability to humiliate her with pictures of high school or tell stories about our debaucherous past. Then, I realized I cannot locate any pictures from high school, let alone the one in particular I'm thinking of in her red homecoming dress looking just like the future MILF you all know and love, and most distant past stories contain proximity to debauchery more than actual participation therein (like the time we were the only two sober girls at some wild, outdoor rave in Boulder when Mr. Lady was dating this one dreadlocked dude named Slinky or something), and our more recent tales of wildness, well, a real lady just never kisses and tells, if you know what I mean... (elipses added for Eddie, Merry Christmas)
The thing that has made Mr. Lady's and my friendship cement so fully is our shared love of parenting, something I think somewhere in our little high school selves we knew we would do together, in some place in our subconciouses, but never to the degree that it's played out in reality. This is a blog, afterall, about surviving parenting, kinda.
So. Here's my current parenting quandary. I really, really, really, really want to tell The Kid The Truth About Santa Claus. He's driving me crazy.
Going to bed on Christmas eve is a chore I dread every year. It's an anxiety-ridden spaz-fest. The following questions were posed to me this morning within the hour The Kid awoke:
- Is the flue open for Santa to come through the chimney?
- What if he gets stuck?
- Mom, are you going to bed right when I do, because if he skips our house because you are still up, to the moon with you!
- What if I haven't been good enough this year?
- Do you think Santa would be mad if we gave him eggnog instead of milk, or would that be a nice surprise?
- Do you think Santa will like our cookies?
- Will you give me some valerian root tonight so I can sleep?
- Are you sure he won't come if I sleep next to the tree?
- Have any kids lived who have seen Santa in their homes?
- Are you SURE you opened the flue?
And so on...
Come bedtime, I will give The Kid a warm bath, a nice warm glass of milk, valerian root, 5Htp, melatonin and have a dose of benadryl waiting in the wings. If past years indicate, I will be giving him that dose of benadryl somewhere around 11:30 pm. He will still be as alert and awake as a skitterish 10 pound dog in a house full of cats, with fireworks going off outside. I will lay down with him, try to rub his back and calm him down. I will drift off to sleep with him, jolting awake somewhere around 2am, slip out of bed, do the santa thing, and get back to bed around 3am with enough adrenaline pumping through my body from not getting caught in-Santa-flagrante that I won't fall asleep until 4am.
I mean, at what point does this whole thing become all a little, um, stupid?
It does feel kinda worth it, the morning after. The Kid is an appreciative joy to be around when he's opening presents, with the "thankyouthankyouthankyou's" and the "I always wanted a _______" and the "Santa really knows what I like, isn't that amazing's?" But, dude, it's killing my excitement, this whole Christmas Eve Hurdle.
So, readers of Whiskey in my Sippy Cup: What to do? Have you told your kids? How did they find out? How did you find out? I need advice, yo.
Also, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, etc. Blessings to you and yours, peace on earth, good will to men, and eat plenty of fiber.
Reader Comments (26)
Yay! I'm the first. Nah-nah-ni-nah-nah. Just kidding. I have no advice, because C is just now starting to understand who Santa is but doesn't put 2 and 2 together as to the whole present getting thing, and L doesn't have a clue about any of it, so I won't be asking myself this question for years to come. Good luck to you-- hopefully you'll get some sleep. Merry Christmas to you and The Kid!
Lyndsey wrote..http://whyifailedmath.blogspot.com/2008/12/putting-up-reindeer-and-singing-songs.html" rel="nofollow">Putting up reindeer and singing songs of joy and peace.
I too am on the opposite end of that scenario! My oldest daughter now understands Santa brings presents, but sadly does not understand HOW TO BE GOOD! She is all naughty .. is there any other kind 3 year old?! I have a 1-1/2yr old anxiously following behind too.
So.. I am looking forward to having Santa be more a part of the holiday.. along with the celebration of Jesus' birthday. I hope/think the spirit my girls will bring one day will make the holidays more peaceful and complete in our home... and in my heart :)
So my recommendation... enjoy it while you have it :)
Peace! Merry Blessings to all !
Becky Sue wrote..http://sisumom.blogspot.com/2008/12/random-moments-not-lost-in-time.html" rel="nofollow">Random moments... not lost in time
good luck with that. we jewish parents have it easier. no flues, no cookies, no wired children.
oh wait. ours are wired for 8 days. i'm thinking that's not a bargain, although it WILL allow us to shop the after-christmas sales for those last-minute items.
merry christmas.
the planet of janet wrote..http://www.fromtheplanetofjanet.com/2008/12/ode-to-hanukkah-or-how-my-children.html" rel="nofollow">An ode to Hanukkah, or how my children again prove their comic worth
I posted the same questions earlier this week, but for different reasons. Looks like my oldest will be finding out tomorrow morning at 9 1/2 when we let her become part of the Santa team at our house. Good luck with your decision!
Merry Christmas!
I am not looking forward to my kids finding out. Mostly because that will mean they are big. Thinking of it makes me sad. That being said good luck! I know there is this book out there that I will be reading when the day comes. I can't remember what it is called, but my mom is a school teacher and she reads it to her kids so I can just ask her. I am so helpful, huh?
kd@abitsquirrelly wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ABitSquirrelly/~3/492712333/my-brain-is-frozen-so-you-get-this.html" rel="nofollow">My brain is frozen so you get this
Hey, Molly, thanks for filling in for Mr. Lady while she enjoys a break. (Do you REALLY think she's stashed the computer, resisted pressing the power button...or is she lurking?)
When we had our first child, Mr. B and I talked about skipping the Santa thing altogether. I mean, we wanted them to trust us, to believe us, then we introduce these fictitious characters, bring them to life. Sure, we enjoy it while it lasts, but how long does it last?
Well, the first Christmas 1of2 was only 8 months old, so we didn't have to worry about it. Christmas two, she saw the fat man around. By Christmas three, and four months shy of age 3, we jumped into the Santa thing. It was SO fun for us all, and particularly that excitement on her face when she'd see him, sit with him, talk to him. She didn't even know to ask for anything those first couple of years. (Christmas 4 and 5 she asked for, "World Peace and a pony.")
Our girls are wise, though, and it was actually 2of2 who confessed she didn't believe her parents were telling the truth. But 1of2, who had asked LOTS of questions in those early years, put the kibosh on that! She knew what could happen to a kid Christmas morning if Santa weren't in the equation. That's right...ONE less present. (Like that would really hurt any of us.)
We play along for the fun of it now. They're 8 and 6 and enjoying the holiday. We've talked a bit about how Santa represents the charitable spirit of Christmas, and that Santa has a lot of helpers. In fact, we've told them, ANYONE can help Santa.
So, we haven't said, "You're right. There is no Santa Claus." But we've answered the questions to the best of our ability without saying the aforementioned, and we continue to enjoy playing this game of the season.
Happy Holidays!
Jen wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/BestFamilyAdventures/~3/493578200/holiday-history.html" rel="nofollow">Holiday history
no advice, but wine goes well with everything. Merry Christmas!
How to Party with an Infant wrote..http://partywithaninfant.blogspot.com/2008/12/tickets-obama-merry-christmas.html" rel="nofollow">Tickets, Obama, Merry Christmas
Tricky, the deadlock guy, that was his name... (Thank you for the Ellipse support)
Eddie, dude, I totally thought it was Tricky, but the that's the name of the drum and base musician who dated Bjork, and I found myself confusing Mr. Lady with Bjork YET AGAIN so I just rechristened him Slinky. Because who doesnLt wish they'd dated someone named Slinky?
Oh, and I'm totally still biding my time til I'm clear to Santa Claus in verb form. Grr.
I'm 18, still living at home, with my brother, 15. We know the Santa secret, but every year we still go to bed early to let them do the Santa thing. Why ruin a good thing?
I found out the Santa secret...sometime during elementary school. I can't remember exactly when. I found out when we were playing hide-and-seek in out house, and I hid in my parent's closet, sliding a box to the side to make room. Lo and behold, come Christmas, I ended up seeing that same box under the tree from Santa.
You have no idea how disappointed I was. As in, when I came to terms that I was pretty sure that Santa was a no-go, I was absolutely crying in my room. My mom came in, and sat on my bed, asking what was wrong and hugging me, as all Mom's do. Finally I calmed down enough, and summoned my courage to ask if Santa was real, because I clearly had my doubts. The look on Mom's face was all the answer I needed, and I burst into tears again. After I calmed down to quiet sobbing again, my Mom asked me a question.
"Do you want him to be real?"
I nodded.
"If you believe in him with your heart, he'll always be real."
My parents put the presents under the tree every year, and fill my stocking in the night, and I know reindeer can't fly, but Santa will always be real.
~Calminaiel~
Calminaiel wrote..http://bassoonfreak.blogspot.com/2008/12/pajamas.html" rel="nofollow">Pajamas
My eldest just found out this year. He came to me and whispered that he knew SAnta wasn't real. I looked at him, we talked. I asked if he wanted to know if he wasn't real or if he DID know.
He was ready to know.
My other two wouldn't be devastated, persay, as Santa only brings 2 presents to our house and some stocking stuffers. I think that is why my eldest didn't get too upset. He knew the presents were from us, anyway.
tracey wrote..http://tracey-justanothermommyblog.blogspot.com/2008/12/last-minute-letter-to-santa.html" rel="nofollow">Last minute letter to Santa...
We skipped Santa at our house, mostly because of religious reasons. We just really wanted our kids to be less focused on gift-getting and more focused on why we celebrate in the first place. Our kids get 3 gifts- just like Jesus did. We spend our time giving goodies to friends and neighbors, telling the Christmas story as found in Luke 2, thinking of kind deeds each person can do for the rest of the family, and spending our time together. Our children are still elementary school age and younger, but as they get older, I hope we will be able to expand our service in the community much further at this time of year.
Its been nice, Ive got to be honest, as far as parental convenience goes (no waiting in line for 2 hours for santa photos-score!) but we have to make sure they don't spoil the secret for the rest of their friends- so far, so good. Some people think we're wrong for NOT doing the santa-thing, like it destroys the magic of Christmas. I just think we've gotten back to what the real magic of Christmas is all about- the birth of the Savior of the world. Merry Christmas everyone!
Merry Christmas from my family to yours!
OhCaptain wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLifeAndThoughtsOfAMidwestGeek/~3/494399047/putting-out-spread-for-santa.html" rel="nofollow">Putting out a spread for Santa
I am at my grandmother's for Christmas and heard a story on this topic yesterday from my great aunt. Seems that when I was a decently small child, I had gone outside with the dogs and could see my grandmother and great aunt filling the stockings before they went to bed. The next morning, Christmas day, I informed my younger brother that Santa was really my grandmother and great aunt! My great aunt says that they yelled at me for tattling - because that was all they could get me on!
Turtle wrote..http://jennaesis.wordpress.com/2008/12/22/turtle-update-2/" rel="nofollow">Turtle Update
Nice....this is what I have to look forward too? I just overloaded the anxiety nerve this year with the whole...nothing is ready yet and it is 8pm christmas eve. agh! My 'happy' pills couldn't even control this one. lol :) seriously though, don't tell The Kid! He/She will hate you later on. Just deal with it, I have a feeling by the questions asked, they might find out soon! Classmates yo! Merry Christmas, and hope you survived.
super mama wrote..http://naturelovinsupermama.blogspot.com/2008/12/short-yet-sweet.html" rel="nofollow">Short yet sweet
Merry Christmas to you Molly......progenitor of the child who named Mr. Lady....er Mr. Lady. Peace, Mike.
My oldest is 11, knows I am Santa, and still wakes at 3am to see what's here...and I spend all night thinking..."is that a kid I hear". There is no sleep in this house on Christas Eve...except for my hubby...he can sleep through anything.
Merry Christmas!
(Don't tell him the truth!)
matt wrote..http://redsparks.com/playpen/2008/12/22/and-to-all/" rel="nofollow">And to all…
Molly, we're skipping the Santa thing at our house. I recall when I was 3 or 4, I looked at the presents under the tree and thought it was "funny" that Santa had the same handwriting and gift paper as my folks, and that was IT. I knew. My kid is the logical type too, and even though she's only 2.5, I don't see her buying it. Besides, we're broke, so almost all of her presents were from relatives, and we had to give them credit. If Santa had left anything yesterday, it would've been, like, a $2 package of Play-Doh.
Throughout this coming year, start talking about Christmas in a more generic sense, more about the "spirit" of Christmas and less about Santa as direct gift-giver. Get him involved in charity where he can give gifts to others. He might figure it out on his own and save you the trouble of having to "break it" to him. Because if you're really having to drug him to get him to sleep, it's not worth it the sentimentality, and if you're dreading it, what's the point? He'll get presents either way, and he'll be happy.
Drop the unhealthy pretense.
(I hope everything went okay for you).
(ps. I don't think I have any bad high school photos of Mr. Lady to share, either. Sorry).
Hey, I STILL believe in Santa. Technically. I never had that "Santa is pretend" moment with my parents. We just always got a Santa gift every year. Even through college. And when I'm home for the holidays, Santa still hooks me up from time to time. Santa and what he represents is what the holidays are all about, so none of us ever bothered to scrutinize him. He's a cool dude and worth believing in. That's all there is to it.
And let's face it, as long as my kid still "believes" in him, he will always get that extra present. My kid isn't dumb. He'll believe forever as well ;)
BusyDad wrote..http://www.busydadblog.com/entries/nothing-says-happy-holidays-like-a-sugar-od.html" rel="nofollow">Nothing Says Happy Holidays Like a Sugar OD
Here's when we told our kids the truth: When we felt that their need to know the TRUTH exceeded their need to believe the FANTASY. When one outstrips the other, we tell all. HOWEVER, the fantasy gets replaced as the child in question is charged with HELPING TO BECOME SANTA CLAUS FOR OTHERS WHO STILL BELIEVE. We told our kids about the legends of St. Nicholas, the anonymous gift-giver and how the true spirit of Christmas is in the giving and the preservation of that legend. Once you know the truth, your job is to help others who still believe by BEING Santa Claus for them. It worked.
apathy lounge wrote..http://wordgirl5.typepad.com/apathy_lounge/2008/12/last-desperate-sprint-toward-christmas-in-technicolor.html" rel="nofollow">Last desperate sprint toward Christmas: In TECHNICOLOR!
Molly, we told Harley that Santa wasn't real about two years ago, I think. He still believed in Santa and we thought he was getting too old. At first, he didn't believe us. It makes for a different kind of Christmas, but we felt it was time and we were sick of lying about it.
It makes things much easier as we wrap as we go along and simply put everything under the tree. No more hiding and staying up late to get everything out.
One Mom's Opinion wrote..http://onemomsopinion.blogspot.com/2008/12/christmas-cheer-but-not-so-much-today.html" rel="nofollow">Christmas cheer, but not so much today
This will seem totally uncharacteristic of me but - keep up the charade!
I grew up in a completely Santa (pagan)-free environment and I really had no idea how to deal with the myths that Bart's father wanted me to propagate. By the age of 4, he was telling me that he just "plays along to make dad happy." It's what worked for us. But honestly, if my kid had the enthusiasm that yours does, I'd soak it up.
Marge wrote..http://wheremytruthlives.wordpress.com/2008/12/23/december-madness-2/" rel="nofollow">December Madness
Our eldest, the Evil Valedictorian, outed Santa for our younger three kids early on, so we've never really needed to go overboard with Yuletide trickery or anything. We still leave cookies out and The Hubster and I just fill the stockings anyway and giggle about how Santa and Mrs. Claus would rather sleep than pull a graveyard shift. The kids know that if they get snarky or cynical about the whole charade, they get zilch so of course, they play along. My mom always did the Santa thing right up until her last Christmas (which was 2007) and yes, we all played winkingly along.
Just a NOTE: Save the Benedryl for a night of uninterrupted sex, hon. Don't waste that shit just so you can play Santa.
Mr Hanky totally showed up on Christmas for us. I love you, dude. PS: Tell him already, you insane woman.