Wednesday
Dec032008
Living In a Material World
Wednesday, December 3, 2008 at 3:49AM | Mr Lady
My 10 year old told me a few weeks ago that he'd done really good on his list to Santa this year. He said, "Mom, I'm only asking for a couple of things!" Squee, much? "Yeah, I'm only asking for a flute, a cell phone, a Nintendo DS, a digital camera and a laptop!"
Now, my initial reaction was shit oh shit fuck shit I'm screwed shit. And then I remembered the smartest lie I've ever told my kids; Santa only brings what's truly in your heart, that he brings what will make you the happiest. Really, borrow that one. You'll need it someday.
Santa tends to pick one item off their humble *cough* lists and that's what he brings. The rest is up to mom and dad. And as a rule, Santa does not bring video games. Santa has had a long conversation over eggnog and cookies with mom and dad (Skype, yo) and we have all agreed that video games are more of a birthday gift. The elves hate making them anyway. They're all wirey and circuty and the elves prefer bringing self-powered toys, like bikes and hamsters.
Santa doesn't bring laptops, either. FOR ANYONE. Just throwing that out there.
What Santa is totally okay with bringing is clothes, awesome toys, the occasional bike and even the errant musical instrument. It just depends on the year. It also depends on how easily Santa can create a theme around the gifts. Like, one year everyone got music. One year, everyone got bikes. And then one year, those little boys became preteens and stopped sharing even one interest, and now Santa is scrambling.
Santa has a plan. Santa's got a mall flyer and isnt' afraid to use it.
Now, yes; I am all about handmade gifts, and gifts made by local companies, but sometimes there's nothing that can bring a bigger smile to a kid's face than the really bad ass toy they keep seeing on tv. See?
That is the look of a kid who just got an iCoaster. Coolest toy I've EVER bought. I swear, I play with the thing more than he does. It's a roller coaster meets Magnetix meets Legos. Dude. Get one.
Other cool stuff that you have to get at the Big Evil Retailers? These:
That is a Ridemakerz car. They are cars that kids can build, customize, and drive around with remote controls all by themselves. The kids' godfather once bought my boys cars like this, only WAY more complex. We loved them, but I still can't quite figure them out. These are supposedly simple enough that a kid could do it alone. We've got a big kit coming in the mail (we couldn't wait for Christmas on that one); I'll let you know what we think. They look RAD.
Oh, and Webkinz. Whoever invented Webkinz can bite me. Hard. Right *here*. Do you know what Webkinz are? They are $30 stuffed animals that you have to take care of. Online. These freaking things are ALL OVER my house. My 10 year old go 5 million of them for his birthday. My 8 year old has 2. Guess who has Webkinz on their list this year? Guess who's mom would be really annoyed if they weren't so freaking cute?
That's kind of cute, you've got to admit.
And of course I give my kids clothes. Because I'm too cheap to buy them nice stuff any other time of year. They've shivered all through November and December, and I am totally waiting until Christmas Eve to bust out these bad boys.
Could I buy coats cheaper somewhere else? Probably. But those coats are going to last through the kid they're meant for, the kid younger than that one, and then get sold for $9.99 at a thrift store somewhere to someone who could use a great coat for $9.99, and it will still be in fabulous shape. Gap, here I come.
Could I buy them coats from some local retailer and help boost my neighborhood's economy a little more? Sure. But if everyone stops shopping at The Gap, The Gap goes away. I don't want The Gap to go away. The Gap makes nice things, and those things last. I'll totally support them, too.
So there is it, my Mallrats post. I'm only missing one thing from that list, and on that subject...anyone have an old flute their kids abandoned for chicks and video games? I would love to buy it. Santa doesn't much like asking his elves to make flutes, either. Those little felt pads make them take up the drink.
Now, my initial reaction was shit oh shit fuck shit I'm screwed shit. And then I remembered the smartest lie I've ever told my kids; Santa only brings what's truly in your heart, that he brings what will make you the happiest. Really, borrow that one. You'll need it someday.
Santa tends to pick one item off their humble *cough* lists and that's what he brings. The rest is up to mom and dad. And as a rule, Santa does not bring video games. Santa has had a long conversation over eggnog and cookies with mom and dad (Skype, yo) and we have all agreed that video games are more of a birthday gift. The elves hate making them anyway. They're all wirey and circuty and the elves prefer bringing self-powered toys, like bikes and hamsters.
Santa doesn't bring laptops, either. FOR ANYONE. Just throwing that out there.
What Santa is totally okay with bringing is clothes, awesome toys, the occasional bike and even the errant musical instrument. It just depends on the year. It also depends on how easily Santa can create a theme around the gifts. Like, one year everyone got music. One year, everyone got bikes. And then one year, those little boys became preteens and stopped sharing even one interest, and now Santa is scrambling.
Santa has a plan. Santa's got a mall flyer and isnt' afraid to use it.
Now, yes; I am all about handmade gifts, and gifts made by local companies, but sometimes there's nothing that can bring a bigger smile to a kid's face than the really bad ass toy they keep seeing on tv. See?
That is the look of a kid who just got an iCoaster. Coolest toy I've EVER bought. I swear, I play with the thing more than he does. It's a roller coaster meets Magnetix meets Legos. Dude. Get one.
Other cool stuff that you have to get at the Big Evil Retailers? These:
That is a Ridemakerz car. They are cars that kids can build, customize, and drive around with remote controls all by themselves. The kids' godfather once bought my boys cars like this, only WAY more complex. We loved them, but I still can't quite figure them out. These are supposedly simple enough that a kid could do it alone. We've got a big kit coming in the mail (we couldn't wait for Christmas on that one); I'll let you know what we think. They look RAD.
Oh, and Webkinz. Whoever invented Webkinz can bite me. Hard. Right *here*. Do you know what Webkinz are? They are $30 stuffed animals that you have to take care of. Online. These freaking things are ALL OVER my house. My 10 year old go 5 million of them for his birthday. My 8 year old has 2. Guess who has Webkinz on their list this year? Guess who's mom would be really annoyed if they weren't so freaking cute?
That's kind of cute, you've got to admit.
And of course I give my kids clothes. Because I'm too cheap to buy them nice stuff any other time of year. They've shivered all through November and December, and I am totally waiting until Christmas Eve to bust out these bad boys.
Could I buy coats cheaper somewhere else? Probably. But those coats are going to last through the kid they're meant for, the kid younger than that one, and then get sold for $9.99 at a thrift store somewhere to someone who could use a great coat for $9.99, and it will still be in fabulous shape. Gap, here I come.
Could I buy them coats from some local retailer and help boost my neighborhood's economy a little more? Sure. But if everyone stops shopping at The Gap, The Gap goes away. I don't want The Gap to go away. The Gap makes nice things, and those things last. I'll totally support them, too.
So there is it, my Mallrats post. I'm only missing one thing from that list, and on that subject...anyone have an old flute their kids abandoned for chicks and video games? I would love to buy it. Santa doesn't much like asking his elves to make flutes, either. Those little felt pads make them take up the drink.
Reader Comments (45)
Santa only truly brings what's in your heart? I am so saving that one and using it on the boy. And maybe even the husband.
Vic wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/glowstars/fRUS/~3/473180307/" rel="nofollow">Guest Post at UrbanVox.Net
Flutes are all over ebay but I am sure you will find one among your loyal readers. I am a HUGE fan of the GAP, and I agree, we must give them our business. Plus they make those great pants that cinch in the waist and don't wear out at the knees. My son wears nothing else. They even sold Chucks this year, can you dig it?
I too have been holding back on the winter coat for Christmas, how cold can it get this week anyway? We have earmuffs, and gloves, we will survive and the coat will make its journey through the whole family in the space of ten years, just like all the other GAP stuff we have bought. My husband always asks why WE have to be the ones to buy the clothes? Well, we had our kids first, so everyone else benefits, but we get the Blessing of being the generous ones. So spend $5 more, get quality, be an angel of hand-me-downs and thrift-stores, I'm all for it.
Said by me in response to my son's Letter to Santa "Santa is not bringing Heelies or a Rip-stick, Santa does not want you to die."
Micki wrote..http://mickiwendt.blogspot.com/2008/12/holiday-money-saving-tip-for-frugal.html" rel="nofollow">Holiday Money Saving Tip for Frugal Upstate
I want that roller coaster. For myself.
That car sounds cool but dadgummit, we have too many car-ish things as it is.
This year, Santa and Mom aren't bringing many toys. The kid could open a toy store from his room as is, so this year, he gets a bike that isn't two sizes too small for him and more practical things. (Of course a toy or two will be included, too. Santa isn't a total bah-humbug.)
If it were cold here, that first little clothing gem would be his. I love it.
Natalie wrote..http://www.startingfromhere.com/2008/12/o-tannenbaum/" rel="nofollow">O Tannenbaum
The thing about buying a used flute is that you never know if it's been to band camp.
SciFi Dad wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TalesFromTheDadSide/~3/473495584/brief-foray-into-canadian-politics.html" rel="nofollow">A Brief Foray Into Canadian Politics
I am all over that 'what makes you happiest' line. My son has a webkin. Not that he ever actually does the whole 'web' part of it. A stuffed animal would have sufficed.
Jim wrote..http://h31n0us.blogspot.com/2008/12/awardified.html" rel="nofollow">Awardified
oh yes, the 'only what's in your heart' yep, used that line before. My oldest asked for every game console and iphone in the store ads I gave her to search thru for her christmas list. I've learned however, that she will ask over and over again only for the items she really wants...but the hamster will just have to wait! :)
The iCoster thing looks totally cool!
~K
Kel wrote..http://www.cafekel.com/2008/12/my-letter-to-santa.html" rel="nofollow">My Letter to Santa
And as the mom on a frickin teeny budget, my thrift store self thanks you.
MomBabe wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/thebinghamdiaries/EBnH/~3/468873883/shameless.html" rel="nofollow">Shameless
We must shop together, seriously!
Okay, that icoaster is amazing, my boy would LOVE that.
Webkinz are zadorable (adorable too) aren't they? The girlie has a couple but she just sleeps with them. The boy, my gawd, between them, Runescape and Spore, no wonder he walks around glassy-eyed like his mom 'cuz of all the computer time. I know, I'm mother of the year :).
Karen MEG (pomtini) wrote..http://gliks.blogspot.com/2008/12/it-was-dream.html" rel="nofollow">It was a dream....
Awesome coats. I want that red one for myself! At least your boys are into Bakugon or whatever it's called. My 5 year old nephew is all over it -- it's like Pokemon , but with little balls or something stupid like that. Which you know will just get lost. And they trade them and it sounds insane. That is why I also tell lies to my children, like, "Those are only toys for Grandma's house." And I'm totally stealing your "Santa only brings what's in your heart." thing. That's awesome!
Jill wrote..http://charmingdelightful.blogspot.com/2008/12/wtf-wednesday-returns.html" rel="nofollow">WTF? Wednesday Returns
ok, i had a really great comment, but then i read scifi dad's.
i can't top that.
(we either have or had a flute. it was drama king's and i have no freakin' idea where it is now, but if i find it, i'll let you know)
the planet of janet wrote..http://www.fromtheplanetofjanet.com/2008/12/all-dressed-up-and-somewhere-to-go.html" rel="nofollow">All dressed up and somewhere to go
I have a flute too and I also don't know where it is. No clue whatsoever.
I realize this doesn't help you out much.
That iCoaster looks awesome...I want to find a shrink-o-matic pill and ride on it!!
jessica wrote..http://stapeliad.blogspot.com/2008/12/how-i-killed-my-smoke-alarm.html" rel="nofollow">How I Killed My Smoke Alarm
Ok, first? I am totally stealing that lie about Santa. AWESOME.
And SciFi Dad's comment? Man, that's just sick. And f'ing funny.
Kate wrote..http://katescrazylife.blogspot.com/2008/12/sweetness.html" rel="nofollow">Sweetness
Both my boys have that red coat from the Gap.. I love it.. it keeps them all warm and cozy and it has the elatic on the inside to keep the snow from sneaking it.. love it..
And I am totally borrowing the Santa line.. for the kids of course because Mama totally wants a MAC for Christmas.. :)
Kim wrote..http://www.joggingincircles.com/journal/2008/12/3/wordless-wednesday-watching-the-fire-in-the-sky.html" rel="nofollow">Wordless Wednesday- Watching The Fire In The Sky
Wow. Webkinz are $10 over here. Let me know if you want me to mail you some, because it'd be a lot cheaper than $30!
We had a coaster thingy like that. Took us forever to assemble, and the kids loved it. Put it in the basement. Had a birthday party. Some little brat tore it up and we couldn't fathom reassembling the carnage...
tracey wrote..http://tracey-justanothermommyblog.blogspot.com/2008/12/trying-to-be-positive.html" rel="nofollow">Trying to be positive
Where were you in the late 90's early 00's? No one sent me the memo so my kid got WAY too many video games! Also my hubby's going to be upset about the laptop thingy, he was so expecting one I think. Oh well, rules are rules! :)
Pssst..there is nothing in the "clause" about Mama gettin' a new Mustang is there? Just checkin!
Special K wrote..http://specialk513.blogspot.com/2008/12/martha-stewart-i-aint.html" rel="nofollow">Martha Stewart I ain't
Actually, I have a friend who's been talking about selling her flute recently. Want me to hook you up?
I love the gap. Truly.
Kori wrote..http://korij.blogspot.com/2008/12/emergency-double-post.html" rel="nofollow">Emergency Double Post
$30 for a Webkinz???? Someone is making a nice profit off of them...I've never paid more than $15!!!!
I have a flute AND a piccolo [neither of which have been to band camp, SciFi Dad -- but thanks for drawing out a laugh that woke up my entire office]. Both are veritable antiques at 30+ years old, and I even know where they are. MiniMe seems to be into the piano, so we can negotiate. Or trade...for a certain pair of hot boots...
Ms. Maxwell wrote..http://www.schaererville.com/2008/11/graduation.html" rel="nofollow">Graduation
Shit. I was going to say something about a skin flute but I will let SciFi Dad have his moment. *bowing to the master*
Melanie @ MelADramatic Mommy wrote..http://www.meladramaticmommy.com/2008/12/fa-la-la-la-long-my-christmas-cd.html" rel="nofollow">Fa La La La LONG- My Christmas CD Collection
When I was a kid, my parents told me Santa wouldn't be stopping by our house because I was Jewish and he was an anti-Semite.
I was so relieved. At least it wasn't because I had been a bad boy.
Are those NEW Rollerblades or did you cave and take em out of the trash?
I think I'm gonna buy one of them cars. That thing got a Hemi?
Matt wrote..http://redsparks.com/playpen/2008/12/03/is-this-a-post-or-an-ad/" rel="nofollow">Is This A Post Or An Ad?!
I'm totally going to borrow "Santa only brings what's truly in your heart", that's mom genius right there.
And I feel your pain with the goddamn Webkinz. Zoe has 72 Webkinz. And who takes care of those little shits? Me. Taking care of them is like a part time job. I wake up in the middle of the night wondering if I fed them and put them all to sleep.
ZDub wrote..http://zakaryw.blogspot.com/2008/12/pilgrim-and-indian.html" rel="nofollow">A Pilgrim And An Indian
and i am a material girl.
oh.
wait.
i'm a guy.
anyway...
i'm with you on the gap. great store that should be patronized as often as possible. it does amaze me how much you know about santa (baby) though. perhaps you can put in a good word for me considering how bad i've been this year. shite.
justsomethoughts wrote..http://notasangry.blogspot.com/2008/11/pop-pop-fizz-fizz.html" rel="nofollow">pop, pop, fizz, fizz.....
Just tell them you're now Jewish and that they will get 1 gift that comes in eight pieces. (a joke I once heard, can't take credit for it)
Found you through Smartass mom and love you too.
Jessica Bern wrote..http://bernthis.typepad.com/bernthiscom/2008/12/wh.html" rel="nofollow">WHEW!!
I'm unfortunately using and madly in love with my flute...I've played for nearly 14 years. I know Yamaha came out with a pretty decent student model line a while back that I think was under 300. I don't remember the model line, I just remember up at music camp they had me try it out to give them recommendations on it. You might try a local music store to see what kinds of used flutes they have available. Let me know if you want recommendations on brands and models. Please don't buy the flutes from Costco...you'll make my heart break. They're not very good.
Jaina wrote..http://girl-with-the-camera.blogspot.com/2008/12/christmas-cards.html" rel="nofollow">Christmas Cards
I always say (when I get a list) "Santa already knows what he is briging for you. ...but I'll send this to him anyway...maybe he has some extras...we'll see."
It is funny how the'lists' these days usually add up to a few thousand per kid (with 6 kids....I am screwed!!!!)
BedsideTalesMan wrote..http://bedsidetales.blogspot.com/2008/12/trail-of-sex-throught-house.html" rel="nofollow">A Trail Of Sex Throughout The House
Love Gap, but Harley is too big for their clothes. I quit mostly giving the boy clothes, he can't stand clothes at Christmas.
Video games is what has been on his list for the past 6 years or so. We cooperate, but it doesn't make me happy. One of Harley's favorites is building Lego kits, but he has so many that is off the list.
The hottest toy that I thought he'd like is called Bakugan Battle Brawlers. I bought the board, but I don't think it comes with the cards and the Bakugan figures. I need to open the darn thing later to see what is included and likely, will have to shop online if anything is missing. I just started shopping today.
One Mom's Opinion wrote..http://onemomsopinion.blogspot.com/2008/11/take-testcivics-quiz.html" rel="nofollow">Take the test...Civics Quiz
Totally go to your local music shop. Most have bullatine boards filled with used instruments for sale....Plus it is that time of year where kids in beginner band classes start purchasing said gift, and there is usually a music sale at the schools with tons of used and new flutes. Good Luck!
haven't told your 10 year old about santa...? i hope he still believes in it, bc it's fun for us parents when they believe in other things!
great strategy to use process of elimination.
We now have 122 Webkinz (approximately) living at our house, and yes, they are cute, but you know what isn't cute? That my son is constantly needing to go on the computer and feed them and play with them and every five minutes he is calling me to come in and read something that somebody wrote in a letter to him and every month or so he forgets his password and I have to sign him up ALL OVER again...
I don't really like Webkinz. But you know what my ENTIRE family is getting him? You guessed it.
Petra wrote..http://thewiseyoungmommy.blogspot.com/2008/12/reader-request-how-not-to-pierce-your.html" rel="nofollow">Reader Request: How NOT to Pierce Your Nipple
I totally have a flute. And I know where it is. And I went to band camp. And if you still want it after that, it's yours. My kid had one Webkinz and it's really cute and I'm pretty sure he managed to kill it off. (Can they die? If they can, his did.)
Goldfish wrote..http://onthreekids.blogspot.com/2008/12/taking-stock.html" rel="nofollow">Taking stock
Ridemakerz is on my shit list at the moment, because they killed their store at Mall of America, and we didn't discover that until last Saturday when my husband agreed to take the boy off my hands for most of the day, part of which entailed them enjoying the Ridemakerz "experience". Plus, I'm an early investor, and the idea that they're killing stores makes me think I should probably be reading my quarterly reports more closely (i.e., at all) and figuring out what's going on with my money, and I can't believe I might actually have to start reading that shit.
What's going on with your government, btw? I don't think I've ever seen a better time to invade you than now.
Missives From Suburbia wrote..http://missivesfromsuburbia.blogspot.com/2008/12/real-estate-schadenfreude.html" rel="nofollow">Real Estate Schadenfreude
Just had to tell you that as I'm reading this my 9 yr old caught a glimpse of the picture of your son with the icoaster. "AW MOM! What's that? That looks SO cool! Can I add that to my list?!" *sigh* Thanks, Mr Lady!
=)
Tammy wrote..http://thopgood-mylife.blogspot.com/2008/11/smurfland-lowdown.html" rel="nofollow">Smurfland Lowdown
RideMakerz is cool. NukeBoy2 broke the bank in SC. It's Build-A-Bear for the NASCAR set; in fact, I think Build-A-Bear owns them. They can get pricey, but still a great gift.
NukeDad wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Nuclearfamilywarheadcom/~3/472875789/" rel="nofollow">G.I. Blow
Check locally for the instrument (if no one offers). We have a GREAT local music store that has a sort of rent-to-own policy.
April wrote..http://formerlyaprildawn.blogspot.com/2008/12/parent-teacher-conference.html" rel="nofollow">The Parent Teacher Conference
Your new favorite site... http://www.etsy.com/
I'm impressed your 10 year old still believes in Santa!!
That iCoaster looks pretty cool!
Our house is crawling with Webkinz too. I must admit, I'm a fan of the chicken, but that's not why I'm here...here is a conversation I had with my 5 year old you might enjoy...
http://tnbwalsh.blogspot.com/2008/11/quick-conversation.html
OhCaptain wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLifeAndThoughtsOfAMidwestGeek/~3/474302196/oh-me-oh-me-oh-mememe.html" rel="nofollow">Oh Me oh me oh mememe
I'm definitely checking out the iCoaster.
We have about 40 Webkinz, half of which are eyeless, courtesy of our dog. Good boy.
always home and uncool wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/AlwaysHomeAndUncool/~3/471528582/spoons-are-for-snowfalls.html" rel="nofollow">Spoons are for Snowfalls
Where were you with the Santa advice when my kids were still young enough to BELIEVE!! True enough, Santa doesn't bring laptops. Grandparents do...when you graduate from high school. Just saying.
apathy lounge wrote..http://wordgirl5.typepad.com/apathy_lounge/2008/12/how-do-you-like-your-chicken-fried.html" rel="nofollow">How do you like your chicken fried?
Dude, I am so looking forward to Braden's amazement when he sees presents under the tree and in his stocking on Christmas morning.
Being a mom at Christmas is way better than anything.
Sarcastic Mom wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/sarcasticmomdotcom/~3/474431071/" rel="nofollow">Will this ever end? HELL TO THE NO!
www.ebates.com is all I'm going to say. I shopped on there last year and will again this year. I'm beginning to loathe the malls. ;)
Darla wrote..http://dmmos.blogspot.com/2008/11/halloween-trick-and-treats.html" rel="nofollow">Halloween Trick and Treats
I LOVE your story about Santa only bringing you what is in your heart and what would make you happiest, and how Santa doesn't bring video games! Makes life much easier. You are a genius!
Nicki wrote..http://adhdangel.blogspot.com/2008/12/flunking-life.html" rel="nofollow">Flunking Life!
Ridemakerz? Holy crap, get a loan before you walk in! You CAN do it inexpensively, but when you have to total car kids and a car hubby and they need all the extras and to make them remote control....well, it adds up fast!
BUT, totally fun and awesome and way better than building a bear!!