Thursday
Feb212008
13 Things I wish I knew
Thursday, February 21, 2008 at 2:55PM | Mr Lady
One day, you might find yourself pregnant with a boy. Or maybe, one day some time ago, you may have found yourself pregnant with a boy and today you find yourself parenting a boy. They will tell you a lot of things about boys. They will tell you how to keep a wanker clean, they will tell you about puberty, and damp sheets, and football. There are things they will not tell you, though, and these are the things you need to know. There are classes that should be mandatory for every parent of a boy to take so that they will be adequately prepared. Here are a few I recommend.
See other Thursday Thirteens right here.
*An adverb is actually more than that, but in the context of 7 year olds, that description will do just fine.
- Mathematics. Get a degree. They couldn't make fourth grade math more confusing right now if they tried to.
- EMT Training. Because brother two is bound to slam brother one's hand in the car door at some point. Or boy one will try his hand at flight. And fail. Boys try things, and most of those things end in broken bones.
- Chemistry. Trust me on this one.
- Genealogy. Because one day, your kid is going to come home from school asking about his heritage, and take it from me, American is not a sufficient answer. And Big Macs do not count as artifacts from your culture.
- English Doctorate. One day, your son is going to find out about Mad Libs. And when you sit down to do them, with the Old School glimmer in your eye, and your almost 10 year old cannot define a VERB, you know you've got some work to do. (PS: An Adverb* is an adjective ending in LY. You know, in case they ask)
- Engineering. There are so many reasons every parent needs a degree in engineering, I couldn't even begin to list them.
- Video Game Design. "Mom, why can't I get Zelda to go into the Cave of Perpetual Blingy Noises?" "Mom, Mario won't jump over the mushroom; he keeps eating them!" "Maaaawwwm!" Learn your games, parents. Learn them well. Or be ready for grey hairs to start popping up.
- Seamstress. Because the more expensive the jeans, the bigger the hole in the knee.
- Historian. Forget "Where did babies come from?" Try, "Where did Golf come from?" At least you know where babies came from.
- Banker. Lest your child's entire allowance be spent in 5 minutes at the corner store on Jawbreakers.
- Nutritionist. It is much easier to get a kid to eat carrots if you tell him WHY he should eat the carrots.
- Carpenter. If for nothing else, to build the splint to heal the broken bones. See #2.
- Athlete. Boys play sports. Period. You can't fight it. And if you don't know the rules, and you let them make up their own, be prepared for war.
See other Thursday Thirteens right here.
*An adverb is actually more than that, but in the context of 7 year olds, that description will do just fine.
Reader Comments (30)
Thank God I have a girl!
As a parent of 2 boys...thanks! And right on!
GoMommy's last blog post..http://randomactsofmomness.blogspot.com/2008/02/snow-day-again.html' rel="nofollow">Snow Day (AGAIN...)
Makes me glad I only have girls...but I want a boy anyway. LOL!
Natalie's last blog post..http://redsoxmommy.blogspot.com/2008/02/thursday-thirteen-13-magazines-i-read.html' rel="nofollow">Thursday Thirteen - 13 Magazines I Read
In my case add Debate Technique to the list.
Marge's last blog post..http://wheremytruthlives.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/shocks-who-needs-em/' rel="nofollow">Shocks? Who Needs ?Em
And biology / butchering - "What part of the cow did this come from?"
Marge's last blog post..http://wheremytruthlives.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/shocks-who-needs-em/' rel="nofollow">Shocks? Who Needs ?Em
Number 13 is also a good reason for number 2.
Also-Excavation-you've seen his room right?
Jennifer's last blog post..http://jenniferhast.blogspot.com/2008/02/dear-sunny-part-2.html' rel="nofollow">Dear Sunny Part 2
I'm printing this out for future reference. Parenting Whiskey Style...What more does one need?
kelly's last blog post..http://ordinaryartblog.blogspot.com/2008/02/goodnight-monkey.html' rel="nofollow">Goodnight Monkey
LMAO! As the mom of *3* boys, I've got to say, you nailed this list!
LOL, my boy is 20 now and I have to agree with every item on your list--even #2, although mine has no brothers, two younger sisters :)
Cassie's last blog post..http://irishcoda.blogspot.com/2008/02/whats-new-aka-why-i-love-cat-blogging.html' rel="nofollow">What's New, aka Why I Love Cat Blogging (TT#8)
My advice - make it up. Actually thats awful advice but it made me think of a great blog i need to write about those questions you don't know the answer to. If I do blog that mind if I link back to you?
I'm with you on EMT, I got MADLIBS covered though. :)
Sister Sassy's last blog post..http://sistersofadifferentorder.blogspot.com/2008/02/welcome-to-chapel.html' rel="nofollow">Welcome to the Chapel
Great list... made me realize that I am so in trouble. In a couple of years. Yikes! 4th grade math? I need a calculator to figure out a tip.
ohmommy's last blog post..http://www.classychaos.com/2008/02/dreaming-of-olympics.html' rel="nofollow">Dreaming of the Olympics....
also referee training.
and oh, you parents of girls. you're so smug -- that's because you don't realize you need to have most of that skill list PLUS hairdresser, cosmetologist and psychologist. oh, and don't forget to learn to swim -- because otherwise you will drown in the pool of tears.
bwahahahahaha!
janet's last blog post..http://fromtheplanetofjanet.blogspot.com/2008/02/good-sorta-bad-and-very-very-very-ugly.html' rel="nofollow">The good, the sorta bad and the very very very ugly
11 and 13 are kicking my ass right now. OF COURSE I've been telling him the reason he needs to eat the fricken-fracken carrots is so he'll be invincible in soccer.
I'm not sure...but it might fly.
daysgoby's last blog post..http://jessalogic.blogspot.com/2008/02/queen-of-de-nile.html' rel="nofollow">queen of de nile
I'm lucky I just have a daughter!
Nicholas's last blog post..http://agentlemansdomain.typepad.com/a_gentlemans_domain/2008/02/fam-peeps-tt.html' rel="nofollow">Thursday Thirteen #46
So happy to be around to help with number four!!!
molly_g's last blog post..http://soapywater.blogspot.com/2008/02/still-not-capable-of-real-post.html' rel="nofollow">Still not capable of a real post.
My boy has a stubborn streak a mile long and much worse than his mother or so, it seems. I have a math book in my Amazon box that I'm going to buy. I'll let you know what it's called once we get it, read it and put it to practice--if it helps. Harley's worst subject is Math.
Diane's last blog post..http://onemomsopinion.blogspot.com/2008/02/politicssink-or-soar.html' rel="nofollow">Politics...sink or soar
Oh, I once had to answer the question: "what is electricity?" Oy vey. I can totally do the babies question. But electricity?
As a mom of to little men.. I am going to hang this up on my fridge.
But by the way.. I don't think I will ever be prepared for the wet sheets..
Kim's last blog post..http://www.joggingincircles.com/journal/2008/2/21/toilet-comedy-hour-tickets-on-sale-now.html' rel="nofollow">Toilet Comedy Hour- Tickets on sale now!
I have two boys, 6 & 7 and one sweet baby girl, 2. Great list!
This is very helpful. Though as the mother of a son who has a little sister, I can attest that I already need most of these things for her too, thanks to his influence. Ah, delight.
MommyTime's last blog post..http://mommysmartini.blogspot.com/2008/02/really-murphy-this-is-getting.html' rel="nofollow">Really, Murphy, this is getting ridiculous...
Yeah...and mine is only 5.
He makes our heads explode every single day.
crunchy carpets's last blog post..http://crunchycarpets.com/archives/363' rel="nofollow">Lifelong Friends?
I love, love, love this list! You are right on target. I've got three kids and all of your 13 are very much appropriate.
http://corinajoyc.wordpress.com/2008/02/21/13-blogs-i-like-to-read/" rel="nofollow">13 Blogs I Like To Read
Corina's last blog post..http://corinajoyc.wordpress.com/2008/02/21/13-blogs-i-like-to-read/' rel="nofollow">13 Blogs I Like To Read
Brilliant!
SarahO's last blog post..http://scatslemonlife.blogspot.com/2008/02/they-read-my-dreams.html' rel="nofollow">THEY READ MY DREAMS.
Awesome TT and so damn true....let me warn you it does not get easier as they become teens.
Penelope Anne's last blog post..http://cafeendofuniverse.blogspot.com/2008/02/flippant-friday-thoughts-idol-tag-and.html' rel="nofollow">Flippant Friday Thoughts ~ Idol, Tag, and Randomness
Your list is bang on.
My son was just asking me this morning if I liked math, because he doesn't. I initially said I do (because as a mom, you're supposed to right?) and that I took a couple years of it in university too ... and then he said "that's because you're smart!). Uh oh...I was working on an abacus; I can't do the "new math" if my life depended on it!
Karen MEG (pomtini)'s last blog post..http://gliks.blogspot.com/2008/02/fashion-friday-quickie.html' rel="nofollow">Fashion Friday Quickie
Those are sooooooooo applicable to girls too. Sounds like you're raising me.
and an extra large refrigerator because boys eat a huge amount of food....
cheers kim hehehehehe
frogpondsrock's last blog post..http://frogpondsrock.blogspot.com/2008/02/favourite-photo-friday-on-saturday_23.html' rel="nofollow">Favourite Photo Friday on Saturday
#14 - boys are CRAZY and nothing you can do or say will make them sit still for longer than 2.8 seconds because gosh darn it, they have things.to.do.
As a mom of 3 boys, I love your list. They teach me something new about their species almost daily.
Christa's last blog post..http://sodonti.blogspot.com/2008/02/sand-art_25.html' rel="nofollow">Sand Art
As the mother of 3 younger boyz (6,3 and 2) I'm taking this list to heart!
LOVE your blog!
In the Trenches of Mommyhood's last blog post..http://sarahviz.blogspot.com/2008/03/in-holding-pattern.html' rel="nofollow">In a Holding Pattern