;)
Monday
Apr212008
Just another Memey Monday
Monday, April 21, 2008 at 12:39PM
The always Classy OhMommy asked me a few weeks ago what the heck was in my purse.
Now, this is not the easiest of questions for me to answer. See, 10 years ago, you would have found my purse filled to the brim with binkies and Hot Wheels and bottles and organic, whole grain, not tested on animals, soy, fat free, flax seed snacks. And a shooter of Jameson for the teething. No, I am not kidding. Shit works, yo.
That, friends, was 10 years ago.
Today, I have three children. Today, those three children are more or less capable of packing their own bags/backpacks for any given outing. Those three children have a mother who ceased giving a rats ass exactly 6 years ago. Today, on the very best, most dire of occasions, you might just be able to dig out one stale jelly bean and 3/4 of a chopstick out of my purse for the kids. I think I just might have one size 2 diaper shoved in the back of the glove compartment in my car in case of emergency. An emergency that would have had to have happened 15 pounds ago, but still. It's there. Possibly. I haven't exactly checked in a while.
Since undertaking the ginormous task of Soccer Mom'n it up, I have had occasion to put more than a stale piece of bread and a pack of smokes in my bag. And I happened to snap a picture of it.
Now, this is not the easiest of questions for me to answer. See, 10 years ago, you would have found my purse filled to the brim with binkies and Hot Wheels and bottles and organic, whole grain, not tested on animals, soy, fat free, flax seed snacks. And a shooter of Jameson for the teething. No, I am not kidding. Shit works, yo.
That, friends, was 10 years ago.
Today, I have three children. Today, those three children are more or less capable of packing their own bags/backpacks for any given outing. Those three children have a mother who ceased giving a rats ass exactly 6 years ago. Today, on the very best, most dire of occasions, you might just be able to dig out one stale jelly bean and 3/4 of a chopstick out of my purse for the kids. I think I just might have one size 2 diaper shoved in the back of the glove compartment in my car in case of emergency. An emergency that would have had to have happened 15 pounds ago, but still. It's there. Possibly. I haven't exactly checked in a while.
Since undertaking the ginormous task of Soccer Mom'n it up, I have had occasion to put more than a stale piece of bread and a pack of smokes in my bag. And I happened to snap a picture of it.
It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses an Eye
Reader Comments (40)
How crazy is it that I HAVE A! Yea, my daughter's 5, and one day I pulled those out and said, "Ariana? Why is this crap in my purse?" Her answer??? "Awwww! You said Crap!!!!!!"
I also have H. Mine is Peony though. LOVE that stuff!
Robina's last blog post..http://justanotherday-bina.blogspot.com/2008/04/every-day.html' rel="nofollow">Weekend Synopsis
I was so waiting for you to do this meme. I am, however, disappointed that the feather was never addressed.
BusyDad's last blog post..http://www.busydadblog.com/entries/dadcruiser-deluxe-touring-edition.html' rel="nofollow">DadCruiser Deluxe Touring Edition
Yeah - another smoker!! I didn't post a pic of my smokes, either. 'Cuz, as usual, I'm not as brave as you!
April's last blog post..http://formerlyaprildawn.blogspot.com/2008/04/weekend-wrap-up_19.html' rel="nofollow">Weekend Wrap-Up
Hmmm, for some reason I'm curious as to the brand of ciggies you favour...
something menthol perhaps...
Xbox4NappyRash's last blog post..http://xbox4nappyrash.blogspot.com/2008/04/ellie.html' rel="nofollow">Ellie
The Terrible Two love this purse! I don't think a play date has gone by without it being spilled out and Lip Medix swiped.
Or a Mr. Lady Starbucks being knocked over...
PS. I use all mens shaving stuff too. 'Cuz I like boys and I love the attention.
Huckdoll's last blog post..http://huckdoll.blogspot.com/2008/04/this-post-is-filled-with-random-sauce.html' rel="nofollow">This Post is Filled With Random Sauce
Um...yeah. My grown sister, who was well into her 30's, peed into a diaper when she got stuck in a traffic jam. She had twin infants in the back seat and there were no bushes in sight. It's always smart to keep a diaper around. Me? I keep a training potty in the back of my truck, lined with kitty litter bags. Oh, and empty water bottles for the boy to pee in.
Momo Fali's last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Momo-Fali/~3/274669747/magic-dust.html' rel="nofollow">Magic Dust
Am I the only one who wonders how in hell you can NOT know where the cigs are? I am not even brave enough to do the photo thing, because I have an old lady black purse, but I will tell you my contents: a size 5 diaper (in case the baby needs itm or in case I want to pull a Lisa Novak and go stalk the lover of the guy I have been doing and obsessing over, whichever comes first). Wallet. Two sets of keys-one with all my "real" keys and another one with two extra Blazer keys. Because of course BOTH keys on the same ring will be handy when I lock said purse in car with the keys in the ignition. Three lighters-because one never knows when more than one smoker friend will be with one and we might all feel the need to light up at the same time. At which point we will all have to jump out of my car, hopefully remembering that we actually need to be able to get back IN. Um, I HAD a screw and a broekn toy, and I think that is SO it.
Kori's last blog post..http://korij.blogspot.com/2008/04/birthday-blessings.html' rel="nofollow">Birthday Blessings
You failed to mention the feather and the barrette (I had to spell that word 5 times before spell check liked it). I am assuming those two items go together to produce a "fancy" hairdo (or hairdon't). I would like a picture of you in that style on this blog sometime. Please.
MommyTime's last blog post..http://mommysmartini.blogspot.com/2008/04/its-in-our-genes-really.html' rel="nofollow">It's in our genes. Really.
Maruca Porn!
I think I have a hard on.
Kelliqua's last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/typepad/kelliqua/prattle_inc/~3/270831996/dare-i-say-i-ha.html' rel="nofollow">Dare I Say I Had Fun?
Yes, but where's the embarassing stuff? Am I the only one who has a tampon always float into view when my purse is open? And I'm sure if I were to spill the contents, that tampon would be the first thing to spill out!
terri's last blog post..http://territerri.wordpress.com/2008/04/20/beautiful-sunday/' rel="nofollow">Beautiful Sunday
I have never met anyone with more purses than shoes.
Perhaps I am obsessed with the wrong accessory.
OHmommy's last blog post..http://www.classychaos.com/2008/04/stiletto-mishap-overture.html' rel="nofollow">Stiletto Mishap Overture
terri and i were separated at birth, i believe.
fortunately, due to my advancing age, i no longer have to carry those embarrassing tampons in my purse anymore.
also because i don't carry a purse.
you may use man STUFF, but i swear i am a boy. everything goes in my pants pockets!
the planet of janet's last blog post..http://fromtheplanetofjanet.blogspot.com/2008/04/fun-monday-best-thing-ive-ever-done.html' rel="nofollow">Fun Monday: the best thing I've ever done edition
My purse:
Cell phone
hand sanitizer
Palm Calendar
wallet
ink pens
pad of paper
camera
Ipod w/headphones
tampons
gum
mints
A few wet wipes for emergencies
tissues
car keys
Diane's last blog post..http://onemomsopinion.blogspot.com/2008/04/small-towns.html' rel="nofollow">Small Towns
No purse- just wallet- full of years of receipts. Reminders of where my money went, when I had it.
List of possible post topics, none of which are doing much for me tonight.
Epi-pen -- they won't give my kid his allergy shot if I don't bring it. Go figure.
Reading glasses. I'm old, okay?
Gas pills. See "reading glasses," above.
Tampon. Not THAT old. Yet.
Wallet containing DL; overused Visa; insurance card; library card; gift cards that probably have about $0.11 left on them; picture of younger son; no picture of older son (gee, I guess he's right -- I DON'T love him); wadded-up cash.
Migraine pills. To help with the guilt over loving one more than the other.
Two lip pencils, two lipsticks, two lip glosses, two lip balms. (My mom and grandmother indoctrinated me, okay?)
Betsy Bird's last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/EmptyingOurNest/~3/273283780/every-family-needs-few-secrets.html' rel="nofollow">Every Family Needs a Few Secrets
Amen on the men's stuff. Razors, flannel PJs, jeans, t-shirts, even hiking boots.
I'm such a tomboy that I'm embarrassed to admit that I finally started carrying a purse about a year ago. And only because I had several cellphones and electronic devices to lug around for work.
Marge's last blog post..http://wheremytruthlives.wordpress.com/2008/04/21/did-i-say-that/' rel="nofollow">Did I say that?
Am I the ONLY one who carries 472 old, crumpled receipts around?? Half my purse is receipts. 'Course, that's not saying much since I have one of those little Vera Bradley bags that's too small to hold much of anything good. Or useful. Like you, I own about 6 pairs of shoes. Unlike you, I own 1 purse. Well, at any given time. So where does all my money go? Clothes. Clothes that have to look good, hide the baby flab, and match my existing purse and shoes. It's a tall order. Which is why I have to spend so much. Really. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
MultiplesMommy's last blog post..http://mommysmartini.blogspot.com/2008/04/its-in-our-genes-really.html' rel="nofollow">It's in our genes. Really.
Those are great purses!
I fear I am going to be the last one on OhMommy's list to participate - I need to get this done! And the crap you will see . . . oh my!
Carrie's last blog post..http://blankenshipkids.blogspot.com/2008/04/these-are-days.html' rel="nofollow">These Are Days
(If another, better, comment shows up under my name, I had trouble with my computer....)
I don't carry a purse. I did, then it morphed into a diaper bag, workout bag, yoga bag, then dematerialized due to yoga non-attachment.
OHHHHMMMM.
christy's last blog post..http://thesouloneverypath.blogspot.com/2008/04/i-feel-earth-move-under-my-feet.html' rel="nofollow">"I feel the earth--move--under my feet...."
Children's Tylenol? Ewww.
Ashley Sanders's last blog post..http://www.bosssanders.com/2008/04/21/2008-organization/' rel="nofollow">2008 Organization
Dude, I have the same Swiper and Dora floating around my world too ... and the same stale jelly bean.
6 pair of shoes? Total. Please don;t tell that to my f-ing husband. I told him Girls like you don't exist. :)
Jamie's last blog post..http://choosingmyown.blogspot.com/2008/04/calgon-take-me-away.html' rel="nofollow">Calgon Take Me Away
Dude, I use all men's stuff, too! Especially deodorant. Boys smell nice. I'm glad someone else does that, too.
If you like purses, you should come over to our house. My wife is a purse freak! She's a district manager for Brown Shoe Company, so she has a few more than 6 pairs of shoes (more like 60+). Her company owns Etienne Aigner (not sure if I spelled it right), but anyway, they make purses too. We have tons of them - it's nuts! Come take some - please! She'll never know!
Jeremy (Discovering Dad)'s last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/DiscoveringDad/~3/274894395/dos-and-donts-of-motivating-dad-advice.html' rel="nofollow">Dos & Don'ts of Motivating Dad - Advice for Moms
Awesome! Not only do I have the children's Tylenol, but I have the children's Pepto as well! I need to get some Dora "distracters" like yours because there are times when handing over my keys to keep the little girl busy is just not going to cut it.
As for my purse, in addition to kid's meds and old receipts, I have a wallet, a cell phone, my business card holder (because I'm trying to "network" for that next job) some chapstick, my WW weigh-in booklet, checkbook, calendar, pen, tiny notebook, and tiger-patch that I was supposed to iron on Muffin's Taekwondo uniform a month ago. Whoops! :)
calicobebop's last blog post..http://calicobebop.blogspot.com/2008/04/100-words-tuesday.html' rel="nofollow">100 Words Challenge
... but still my favorite one so far. Just making that clear.
BusyDad's last blog post..http://www.busydadblog.com/entries/dadcruiser-deluxe-touring-edition.html' rel="nofollow">DadCruiser Deluxe Touring Edition
My driver's licence, check card, whatever cash is in my wallet, and whever else in the bag I pick up for the day (diaper bag, work bag, gym bag, etc...)
I tagged you for another one: http://peddlincrazy.blogspot.com/2008/04/memin-to-oldies.html
'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why!'s last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PeddlinCrazy/~3/275606320/tuesday-time-machine-1960s.html' rel="nofollow">Tuesday Time Machine - 1960s
I tagged you at http://peddlincrazy.blogspot.com/2008/04/memin-to-oldies.html
I don't carry a purse, just my wallet with my ID and check card!
'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why!'s last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/PeddlinCrazy/~3/275606320/tuesday-time-machine-1960s.html' rel="nofollow">Tuesday Time Machine - 1960s
I am not nearly brave enough to wear red lipstick and pull it off.
You are my hero.
Loralee's last blog post..http://loraleeslooneytunes.com/2008/04/22/sideblog-blogher-trip-is-booked/' rel="nofollow">Sideblog: BlogHer trip is BOOKED!
Cool,I've just started reading your website a couple of days ago -tres funny my friend.Thanks :)
As for my purses content: receipts,cheque book,wallet(containing receipts, cheque book) and a bunch of keys.It's a tad messy. I went to the video store and the creepy fella taking my money said "wow you have a messy purse": I was humbled
Thanks for sharing and making me feel comfortable enough to expose my purse.
Keep up the good work
Hey!
Is that a Canadian $5? My kid has that same stupid dora doll. Thing is so friggin heavy, it could be a weapon. Keep that in mind if you ever get mugged.
Keep up the nonstop hilarity. Um, is that a word?
Bradie
@QuiltCetera
Bradie's last blog post..http://free-quilting-patterns.blogspot.com/2008/04/twitter-quilters.html' rel="nofollow">Twitter Quilters
Nice glimpse into the purse. I can never find my cigarettes either but I think that's probably because I quit a couple years ago.
Chris's last blog post..http://www.rudecactus.com/2008/04/get_in_my_bellyno_wait.html' rel="nofollow">Get In My Belly...No, Wait
how much space do you have on this site?
i once counted 17 lipsticks in my purse during spring cleanup. i love makeup. Wear the red lipstick, just do it, at the grocery store, bus stop wherever.
which reminds me of a funny situation: i went to victoria's secret and was looking at makeup and asked the girl to help me, and she said well this is like casual everyday color but this one is for like if you want a really rich glamor look.
"so don't wear this second one to the bus stop is what you're saying," i replied.
guess what, i wore it to the grocery store instead, ha.
Awww man! I've had the same inhabitants in mine from time to time as well. Too funny!
Love your bags, BTW. Very cool collection.
Karen MEG (pomtini)'s last blog post..http://gliks.blogspot.com/2008/04/wordless-wednesday.html' rel="nofollow">Wordless Wednesday
I have the same hair clip! I share your purse fetish.
You tasted the grape? You are one brave woman.
Dude,...what about the feather???
Sandy (Momisodes)'s last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Momisodes/~3/275906499/' rel="nofollow">Out Of My Way!!!
I stole the same damn pen. And if I ever get around to posting my purse, you would see that I have four lighters in there in case one decides to take a crap. Can't be without one of those.
MamaWise's last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/wordfromthewise/FLeo/~3/276304461/' rel="nofollow">Awards, Bees, and OCD
You and Huck SUCK!
I want some weed.
Maria's last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/immoralmc/~3/275802345/im-really-not-that-interesting.html' rel="nofollow">I'm really not that interesting...
I just love how you diagrammed everything . . .
Love A . . . a requirement for anyone who is a mom, right?
LaskiGal's last blog post..http://laskigal.blogspot.com/2008/04/top-momma.html' rel="nofollow">Top Momma and AWARDS!
I love it! I will have to do this meme for tomorrows post. Although, my purse's contents are nowhere near as interesting.
I walked by Morton's when I was in San Antonio last, and told D that I want to go there one day. (hahahaah. It was about 105 out and I probably looked like I had just crawled out from under a rock I was so hot and frumpy.)
J's last blog post..http://imatroublemaker.blogspot.com/2008/04/on-serious-note.html' rel="nofollow">On a Serious Note
My purse? I don't use one! Ha! I am less of a girly girl than you!
I do *own* a purse though. it's a giant leather thing that my aunt-who-barely-knows-me gave me years ago. I use it to haul around junk on occasion.. it's at the bottom of the drawer full of cloth bags. It's a rare occasion that I get to the bottom of that drawer.
But side note - I'm also in the men's razor and shaving cream family. Why pay dollars for a single razor when you can use a disposable one and toss it? And women's shaving cream is expensive and stupid. Yay for the 30 cent can of cream!
Turtle's last blog post..http://jennaesis.blogspot.com/2008/04/need-your-opinion.html' rel="nofollow">Need your opinion!
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