;)
Monday
Jul212008
Why Are There So Many Songs About Rainbows?
Monday, July 21, 2008 at 6:36PM
(AKA: The Post Wherein I Am Going to Quote the Greatest Driving Factor in the Formation of My World View, and You Are Not Going to Mock Me For It Too Much)
*Edited: For those wondering, I read this. There's a rumour about a video, too.
35 million mom bloggers.
Um, that's a whole lot of us and stuff. I spent three days in San Francisco at Blogher '08 with a handful of them and other incredible women bloggers (and a guy who still can't remember who I am, bygones). I am really not awake enough yet to even begin to talk about this weekend, but let's just say that it's changed my outlook on about 87.23% of my life thus-far.
My experience was so narrowly personal that I don't even want to begin in on it until I've had a little more time to process it. Being more or less internetless this weekend, I missed the opportunity to write as I thought, and so I have to remember things. Through the fog of a hangover incurred Thursday that still hasn't quite dissipated yet. It just might take me a while.
I want to tell you about the people I came to love more, the people whom I swooned with pride for like they were my own KID or something, the new friendships I've forged, the hearts that wrapped around each other, the old friendships concreted for life, but that will all come later (when I can remember it all more clearly, and with stolen pictorial evidence.) For now, I just want to try to sort through what I learned about blogging, since I was at a blogging convention and all.
What I know, without doubt, is that the community of us, all of us, every single motherfucking one of us, is something. We mean something. We're doing something big here. It doesn't matter if you're a mom blogger or a dad blogger or a poli-blogger or a tech blogger or whether or not you made it (by the skin of your teeth in my case) to a BlogHer convention in San Francisco or if you have 2 comments or 1,000 on your posts or if you write on Blogger or you self-host or if you blog anonymously or lay it all out there for the world to read. Blogging can change the world. Blogging is a powerful medium, and no matter how or why we do it, it matters.
People I'd never met, people who have never seen me or heard of me, came up to me this weekend and held me. They cried. They told me their story. They touched my cheek and said thank you. And I touched them back and said thank you, too. Because in the span of a few seconds, through run mascara and heavy breaths, we connected for just a moment. One woman came to me backstage after I read, crying, thanking me for my honesty and bravery, and then 10 minutes later turned around and read the most heart-felt, gut-wrenching, brave, honest, open, touching thing I've ever had the privilege of hearing. In that, I believe I was more humbled than I could ever hope to be. We connected. There was no thought of comparison and competition, and we just HEARD each other. I think I will be friends with her for the rest of my life.
I stood in the lobby of the Westin with Lesbian Dad (who better be damn glad there is a Lesbian Mom, or I'd totally have called dibs on her) and we tried to talk about our experiences. We tried to find the words for what we felt, what we realized that all of these millions of blogs actually do, and after a while we came to one conclusion; we touch souls. We give freely, and openly, and at a great risk to ourselves, and we hope that maybe one person out there can relate or benefit or at least understand. We connect on a level that is, I dare say, almost deeper than that in real physical company, because on our blogs, we don't hold back.
35 million mom bloggers. Every end of the spectrum. Every style and flavour.
I don't even know how many women bloggers. I couldn't begin to fathom how many men bloggers. I am just one small person floating in this turbulent, open water. We are all doing the same thing, even if we don't agree with how it's done, even if we make an assumption as to why it's done, even if we question the motives behind or the reasons for it, we are all on a level playing field. The biggest mom blogger in the world would still be doing this if she had my traffic and my total lack of income from it, because she loves it, she has to do it, she needs it. The smallest of us would continue to do this the exact same way we do now if we could make a living off of it, because it's where we go to create, to share, to write, to touch, to express, and to grow. We are all one small person floating in that water, and we are all slowly finding our connections.
35 million mom bloggers. Each a different type of writer, each a different color of the rainbow that makes up the blogosphere. We're finding it; we're all helping each other, teaching each other, finding each other. If we take just a moment to set aside our differences, our pre-conceived notions about one another, our biases and our safety nets and just reach out to each other, and reach out wide, we'll realize that we're all one big thing, one big rainbow connection...the lovers, the dreamers, and me.
*Edited: For those wondering, I read this. There's a rumour about a video, too.
35 million mom bloggers.
Um, that's a whole lot of us and stuff. I spent three days in San Francisco at Blogher '08 with a handful of them and other incredible women bloggers (and a guy who still can't remember who I am, bygones). I am really not awake enough yet to even begin to talk about this weekend, but let's just say that it's changed my outlook on about 87.23% of my life thus-far.
My experience was so narrowly personal that I don't even want to begin in on it until I've had a little more time to process it. Being more or less internetless this weekend, I missed the opportunity to write as I thought, and so I have to remember things. Through the fog of a hangover incurred Thursday that still hasn't quite dissipated yet. It just might take me a while.
I want to tell you about the people I came to love more, the people whom I swooned with pride for like they were my own KID or something, the new friendships I've forged, the hearts that wrapped around each other, the old friendships concreted for life, but that will all come later (when I can remember it all more clearly, and with stolen pictorial evidence.) For now, I just want to try to sort through what I learned about blogging, since I was at a blogging convention and all.
What I know, without doubt, is that the community of us, all of us, every single motherfucking one of us, is something. We mean something. We're doing something big here. It doesn't matter if you're a mom blogger or a dad blogger or a poli-blogger or a tech blogger or whether or not you made it (by the skin of your teeth in my case) to a BlogHer convention in San Francisco or if you have 2 comments or 1,000 on your posts or if you write on Blogger or you self-host or if you blog anonymously or lay it all out there for the world to read. Blogging can change the world. Blogging is a powerful medium, and no matter how or why we do it, it matters.
People I'd never met, people who have never seen me or heard of me, came up to me this weekend and held me. They cried. They told me their story. They touched my cheek and said thank you. And I touched them back and said thank you, too. Because in the span of a few seconds, through run mascara and heavy breaths, we connected for just a moment. One woman came to me backstage after I read, crying, thanking me for my honesty and bravery, and then 10 minutes later turned around and read the most heart-felt, gut-wrenching, brave, honest, open, touching thing I've ever had the privilege of hearing. In that, I believe I was more humbled than I could ever hope to be. We connected. There was no thought of comparison and competition, and we just HEARD each other. I think I will be friends with her for the rest of my life.
I stood in the lobby of the Westin with Lesbian Dad (who better be damn glad there is a Lesbian Mom, or I'd totally have called dibs on her) and we tried to talk about our experiences. We tried to find the words for what we felt, what we realized that all of these millions of blogs actually do, and after a while we came to one conclusion; we touch souls. We give freely, and openly, and at a great risk to ourselves, and we hope that maybe one person out there can relate or benefit or at least understand. We connect on a level that is, I dare say, almost deeper than that in real physical company, because on our blogs, we don't hold back.
35 million mom bloggers. Every end of the spectrum. Every style and flavour.
I don't even know how many women bloggers. I couldn't begin to fathom how many men bloggers. I am just one small person floating in this turbulent, open water. We are all doing the same thing, even if we don't agree with how it's done, even if we make an assumption as to why it's done, even if we question the motives behind or the reasons for it, we are all on a level playing field. The biggest mom blogger in the world would still be doing this if she had my traffic and my total lack of income from it, because she loves it, she has to do it, she needs it. The smallest of us would continue to do this the exact same way we do now if we could make a living off of it, because it's where we go to create, to share, to write, to touch, to express, and to grow. We are all one small person floating in that water, and we are all slowly finding our connections.
35 million mom bloggers. Each a different type of writer, each a different color of the rainbow that makes up the blogosphere. We're finding it; we're all helping each other, teaching each other, finding each other. If we take just a moment to set aside our differences, our pre-conceived notions about one another, our biases and our safety nets and just reach out to each other, and reach out wide, we'll realize that we're all one big thing, one big rainbow connection...the lovers, the dreamers, and me.
Reader Comments (69)
good recap, but crap, I have too much to catch up on already and now you've just added like 18 blogs to my list!
tenakims last blog post..http://therapyfortena.blogspot.com/2008/07/men-on-mission.html" rel="nofollow">Men on a Mission
You had such an incredible time, and I admire that sense of direction, purpose, self that has emerged from the weekend. You are a powerful force. And I am so happy to know that Casey found you, connected, supported -- I have always had that sense reading her blog that she was so real. True, good humanity. It's great to have that confirmed too. Welcome back.
MommyTimes last blog post..http://mommysmartini.blogspot.com/2008/07/take-your-feet-off-dinner-table-and.html" rel="nofollow">"Take Your Feet Off The Dinner Table," and other Commonsensical Notions
I have read so much about how fab you are and how you just touched everyone. I would love to know what it is you said. Because I didn't have to be there to know that you are pretty fab! But damn it, I wanted to be!!
amys last blog post..http://amysbratpack.blogspot.com/2008/07/love-story.html" rel="nofollow">A love story
Yo.
Backpacking Dad totally knows who you are.
He wouldn't stop yammering on about how damn gorgeous you were every time you came by.
(I agreed of course.)
Then we'd collectively check out yer arse. Cuz it's itty bitty.
(I've things to say to ya, but they'll keep until the fuzz of blogher wears down.)
Redneck Mommys last blog post..http://theredneckmommy.com/2008/07/17/sunshine-and-sandy-beaches-await-me/" rel="nofollow">Sunshine and Sandy Beaches Await Me
That was a nice post. Here's a big thank you from a little blogger. I don't get a lot of comments, but I treasure the ones I do get. I blog because I have a need to communicate and connect. Welcome to the rainbow.
Smalltown Moms last blog post..http://smalltownmom.blogspot.com/2008/07/i-love-musicals.html" rel="nofollow">I love Musicals
This was an excellent post.
I heard you did an amazing job and received a completely well deserved standing O. Congratulations!
GREAT JOB!
hoo boy. i knew i was gonna miss something big.
knew it knew it knew it.
next year, i swear.
the planet of janets last blog post..http://fromtheplanetofjanet.blogspot.com/2008/07/fun-monday-what-do-you-want-to-be-when.html" rel="nofollow">Fun Monday: the what do you want to be when you grow up edition
You rocked the house. You were amazing. You were stellar. And personally I am so happy to have gotten to have seen you because I discovered your blog that way. It is, after all, all about me LOL
I am so proud of you. (I always knew you were a hippy.)
I wanna have your babies.
I cannot imagine the amount of bravery it took to write that post. And I cannot fathom how you managed the courage to stand in front of all of us to read it aloud.
Know that you touched our hearts. And without a doubt helped many going through similar experiences. KNOW IT.
Thank you.
Jenny, Crash Test Mommys last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/crashtestmommy/~3/341634352/" rel="nofollow">Sometimes iPods need a good spanking.
I'm not even a high quality, well known blogger but would have loved to have gone, just to hear everyone's amazing stories.
Next year!!
Jessicas last blog post..http://jessibellam.blogspot.com/2008/07/water-from-same-source.html" rel="nofollow">Water from the same source
No other BlogHer recap made me want to be there as much as this one. We may all be the same, on some deep, dark level, but we are all individuals and this medium gives us all a voice.
moos last blog post..http://moosmoo.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/a-true-story/" rel="nofollow">a true story
I was just thinking "I couldn't love Mr. Lady any more then I already do" and then you went and wrote this! You are so damn fabulous there are no words. I am so excited that I shoved my hand in your face and met you.
Anyone who thinks they can't or shouldn't go to BlogHer, they are wrong. It is a gathering of the most amazing people you will ever meet in your life, whether you know their blogs or not. I am so glad I went!
Kristabellas last blog post..http://fullofsnark.com/2008/07/21/the-sky-is-falling/" rel="nofollow">The Sky Is Falling
For me, not being there was totally about not getting to see you shine. I've heard you talk, I've heard your words, I have felt your heart. My heart ached knowing that I couldn't witness it, so I will just be happy with what you share here (and on the phone, call me dammit). I'm glad that I'm in that percentile with you, and all the others you mentioned, and more. We are united, even in diversity. It's why I love what we do in the blogosphere.
Much Love, Dear Mr. Lady. Thank you for that one day when you connected with me, which seems like way back when, but which also seems like yesterday.
Your friend forever,
Mishi
Your keynote reading was the toast of the evening my friend - you were stunning.
Sounds like you had a wonderful time and a very deep experience. I think that is awesome. I had a sort of similar experience once in SoHo about humanity in general and it made me go Rainbow Brite on crack for days.
janethesanes last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/YouSeeWhatYouWantToSee/~3/342078676/first-steps.html" rel="nofollow">First Steps
Your reading was so brave and powerful. Thanks for sharing with all of us.
Tracys last blog post..http://lagerandlime.typepad.com/ppwgal/2008/07/my-imaginary-friend.html" rel="nofollow">My imaginary friend
I saw a very grainy video of you doing your thing and wow! Look at all of those people standing up for you. I got all teary eyed watching it. I can't wait to hear more about it.
We (meaning my place of work) sponsored a convention in June - The Journal Convention: The Power of Writing. I was so lucky to be involved with that. I joked around about it being two days of free therapy, but that's exactly what it was. It wasn't about blogging per se, but it was about writing for healing, writing for self, writing for spirituality, writing for community.
When I was there, I thought of you and how much you would enjoy the 350 people in this group. They were thoughtful. They were unique. They were aware.
I'm glad that you had this experience. I'm glad that the donor made you go. I'm glad that you have created your community and constantly reach out to bring more people in. I'm glad that you show people how writing can bring you to yourself.
You're so cool :)
You are made of awesome.
anne nahms last blog post..http://annenahm.com/?p=480" rel="nofollow">Yes
"because she loves it, she has to do it, she needs it."
You may have just written the post you'll be reading next year . . .
LaskiGals last blog post..http://laskigal.blogspot.com/2008/07/they-never-called.html" rel="nofollow">They never called . . .
I MISS YOU ALREADY, DAMMIT!!!!!!
And?
My next post? Shall feature you and me. Oh, BABY shall it feature you and me! ;)
Loralees last blog post..http://loraleeslooneytunes.com/2008/07/21/blogher08-part-i-a-preemptive-strike-and-making-lemonade-out-of-the-damn-lemons-that-keep-falling-on-your-head/" rel="nofollow">BlogHer ‘08 Part I: A preemptive strike and making lemonade out of the damn lemons that keep falling on your head.
you made us proud, girl. I just told the better half that next year I want to be just like you and get there...just to experience what you did...great post!
Kats last blog post..http://kackalacka.wordpress.com/2008/07/18/going-to-the-waffle-house-and-were-gonna-get-maaaaaaarrriedd/" rel="nofollow">Going to the Waffle House and we’re gonna get MAAAAAAARRRIEDD…
Man... that sounds so freaking awesome. Inspirational, women are.
corals last blog post..http://coraljean.wordpress.com/2008/07/20/she-hates-me-she-hates-me-not/" rel="nofollow">She hates me, she hates me not…?
*clapping wildly*
And this, my dear, is why I love you.
flickrlovrs last blog post..http://idblogthaton.blogspot.com/2008/07/guest-post-thats-too-cool-for-title-or.html" rel="nofollow">The Guest Post That's Too Cool For A Title (or: Proof That Barefoot Foodie Is Hilarious)
I'm proud of you and I wasnt even there!
Misss last blog post..http://ruraandmiss.wordpress.com/2008/07/20/haha/" rel="nofollow">Haha
I so wish I could've been there!
Ashleys last blog post..http://www.bosssanders.com/2008/07/21/my-100-things/" rel="nofollow">My 100 things
Hi, I followed a link over here. Who are you?
Oooh...so cold :}
Hi Mr. Lady! I totally remember you from both the People's Party and upstairs at Macy's, and that you tricked me into taking TWO pictures with you :} I didn't take that many pictures overall, but I have two with you now :P
Backpacking Dads last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/BackpackingDad/~3/341721317/blogher-part-2-i-went-to-blogher-and.html" rel="nofollow">BlogHer '08: Part 2: I went to BlogHer and all I got was treated like a rock star...and a t-shirt.
and the lobby at the Westin before I left? Eating cheeseburgers?
Will you post what you read at BlogHer? I'd love to read it!
Aprils last blog post..http://formerlyaprildawn.blogspot.com/2008/07/199th-post.html" rel="nofollow">199th Post
I already commented about how awesome you were, but I must do it again. I don't cry in public. I didn't cry at my grandmother's funeral, or during my baby's hospitalizations. But you. You and Casey made me CRY IN PUBLIC. Your openness and honesty deserved it. I wish I could have gotten to know you this weekend, but I will have to settle for the internet - until next year.
Heathers last blog post..http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com/2008/07/what-i-learned-at-blogcamp/" rel="nofollow">What I Learned At BlogCamp
Hi, I wanted to ask you something about one of your older posts and was wondering if I could have your e-mail... If I click on it, it wants me to send it through outlook and my 'puter isn't configured for that, blah blah blah. Pretty please?
Eve Greys last blog post..http://heyyahosers.blogspot.com/2008/07/lets-dance-in-style-lets-dance-for.html" rel="nofollow">Let's dance in style, let's dance for awhile
Wow, this is so powerful and expresses what I feel about blogging ever so much more eloquently than I could ever do so.
Laskigirl sent me because she thought I would agree. She was right!
And I am super curious as to what you read at Blogher too, will you post it or a link to it?
Kamis last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/The4OfUs/~3/341142400/ramblings-of-part-time-lunatic-or.html" rel="nofollow">Ramblings of a part time lunatic or boring housewife, you be the judge
Since this post almost brought me to tears (thankyouverymuchhormones) I'd also love to see what you read at BlogHer . . . come on, do it for the little people! Please? Pretty Please?
Carries last blog post..http://www.stopscreamingimdriving.com/2008/07/heh-boys.html" rel="nofollow">Heh, Boys
You say it so right, you say it so well. I hope some of that rubs off on me by blogmosis someday. Walking around with you felt so Entourage.
BusyDads last blog post..http://www.busydadblog.com/entries/still-reeling.html" rel="nofollow">Still Reeling
Sounds like an absolutely incredible experience!!
I wish I could attend one year, but the logistics would be staggering!
Jentys last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/JentysLifeinPics/~3/341793107/brothers-and-lollipops.html" rel="nofollow">Brothers and lollipops
OK, so can we go back in time, pretend I never ever read about how freaking wonderfully mindblowing awesomely lifechanging BlogHer was. Pretend you didn't hang with my fav bloggers (you included, even if you are a fibber ;)) and actually got to touch my girl Tanis. And then you can write this post again, saying how it was crap and lifeless it was without me.
Please.
Or I am gunna cry. That big ugly cry.
Kelleys last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/MagnetoBoldToo/~3/341512063/" rel="nofollow">I am going to hell. Alternative title ‘meet my new boyfriend’
I read your speech. Wow... Simply wonderful.
You've inspired me.
Jills last blog post..http://theperlmanupdate.blogspot.com/2008/07/capital-cousins.html" rel="nofollow">Capital Cousins
Hey Lady! Feel the fucking LOVE! Pardon my French............."get it"? Thank You for letting me comment. Peace, Mike.
Okay, I feel like "keeling" the husband (or more correctly, his job) for getting in the way of me attending this year.
So proud of you, so glad that you met and made so many new friends.
And so very, very, green, like Kermie...
but I'll be there next year, you can count on it!
Karen MEG (pomtini)s last blog post..http://gliks.blogspot.com/2008/07/my-so-called-second-life.html" rel="nofollow">My So-Called Second Life
The bset thing you said on this fantastic post is that we DO mean something, we can change things. I believe that wholeheartedly. So glad it was a great experience for you!
Koris last blog post..http://korij.blogspot.com/2008/07/weekend-update.html" rel="nofollow">Weekend Update
This fantastic post is one of the reasons I haven't posted something BlogHer related yet. This! THIS!! This post is what I'm trying to say, but it keeps coming out as, "yeah, it was fun. Everyone was cool."
Thanks for saying it better than me, thanks for your bravery and honesty when you read aloud during the community keynote, thanks for thinking I was cool.
I am new to the blogging world, but I am so grateful for it. And I'm not missing BlogHer next year!
Sounds like you had a great time, and a real breakthrough. It can definitely be hard to keep a level-headed perspective when blogging...this experience sounds like it really validated the work you do. (Most of your readers, myself included, have know you were "valid" all along!)
Can't wait to hear more about it.
matts last blog post..http://redsparks.com/playpen/2008/07/17/the-playpen-in-motion-tuna-boats/" rel="nofollow">The Playpen in Motion - Tuna Boats!
There once was a lady from Vancouver
She went to BlogHer for a computer maneuver
While she was there
She sat in a chair
And got way the hell gnarly fucked up
Do tell!
Those California cranberries are viscous. Mmm-huhmm.
Audubon Rons last blog post..http://ducksmahal.blogspot.com/2008/07/time-for-quicky.html" rel="nofollow">Time for a Quicky
You're so deep. How did we ever survive without blogland?
Glad you made some great connections and enjoyed the conference.
you = even more awesome in real life. your keynote was amazing. truly, truly amazing. (not to be confused with Jem, who is truly outrageous)
alis last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/alimartell/mzqi/~3/342557906/" rel="nofollow">i will never learn…and i suffer from the wonk-eye
Watching you read at the keynote was one of the truest and most rewarding parts of the weekend. I would do it all over again right this very second if it meant I could listen to you one more time. And I'm saying that after spending 24 hours straight in either an airport or airplane.
Thank you for getting up in front of that room, not standing down, and sharing that with us, face to face.
I don't think I was ever able to get my hands on you after the keynote, which kills me because it felt like I had my hands all over you the day before, but I wanted to just give you one more hug and say thanks.
We were all pulled every which way this weekend, but in the snippets of conversations that we were able to share, you won me over like no one else.
Thank you again. My head is officially out of my ass and with the party planning done, I have some new blogs to read. Whiskey in My Sippy Cup every morning, which will go nicely with my coffee. A combination I discovered at BlogHer, as it turns out... just no sippy cup. Though... Man! This is why I rarely comment! I leave blog posts in the comments!
Love you. The end.
Velveteen Mind - Megans last blog post..http://www.velveteenmind.com/velveteenmind/2008/07/welcome-to-the.html" rel="nofollow">Welcome to the Hotel California
This may sound creepy and somewhat odd, but every time you came into a room or were in the same area I NOTICED you. I "felt" you. Yeah, that sounds creepy.
Anyway. I'm so happy that you blazed the trail for me to get up there, I was afraid I'd be the buzzkill. ;)
Simply amazing.
moosh in indy.s last blog post..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/mooshInIndy/~3/342175019/" rel="nofollow">Not a period too soon.