You Know It's Bad When I Start In With the Bullet Point Posts

This week, man.  I tell yah.

  • Matt @ RedSparks totally won that t-shirt.  And he's having a sale in his preemie/baby store.  Just sayin'.

  • We babysat yesterday.  In fact, we're babysitting every Thursday for the next 6 weeks.  Which isn't helping my uterus' rampage on the ol' brain.  Turns out, my kid has some jealousy issues and I'm pretty sure that ifin's we decided to go for four (shoot me for even thinking about it) that she's eat that new baby while we slept.

  • The Donor came home this week from his Napa, golf, martini vacation conference for work.  He lost his 8 billion dollar cell phone, and was gone over our 10th anniversary, and I made him suffer for these crimes by forcing him to get an iPhone.  I'm the worst wife ever, I know; I don't know how he goes on.

  • And he was missed.  She sat right there for 2 hours the day he got home.

  • Speaking of worst somethings ever, after careful thought and serious negotiation, it was decided that I am a horrible daughter in law, and my mother in law is indeed staying with us, and I somehow ended up begging her to do it.  Yes, she's that good.

  • Not only am I impossible to deal with, I am irrationally cruel to her grandsons.  I mean, I made them almost touch each other today.

  • But I let 1of3 keep that god-awful haircut, and do I get any credit for that? Hell to the no.  (It was cute for exactly 31 hours, and then it grew 1/5 of an inch, and now he looks like a, well, a Jonas Brother or something. *shudder*)

  • The baby, my last baby, the one who was supposed to be ittle wittle forever, starts motherfucking preschool on Tuesday.

  • The 8 year old told me he needed Clearasil, and then showed me the corner of his tiny, cute, little baby nose, and he does need Clearasil.

  • I have 6 days to get this house spotless before the mother in law gets here, and I'm hiring cleaners for the first time in my whole life.  Just like haircuts, cookies and blowjobs; some things should just be left to the pros.

  • The Republican party has blow any chance, at all, of me ever ever ever voting for them, for, like, the rest of my life.  I registered to vote as a ex-pat this week, and I registered as a Democrat.  My fence-walking days are over.

  • Best. Song. Ever.  (Worst video ever, but still.)