;)
Friday
Sep192008
Belief
Friday, September 19, 2008 at 1:44AM"Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said. 'One can't believe impossible things.' 'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.' "
I am not a woman of faith. I do not believe in almost anything, and I dare say this is my greatest character flaw. But of all the things I do not believe in, and the list is long, the one thing concept that I have rejected above all others is, apparently, myself.
I live in a state of almost constant dread, and I have for as long as I can remember. I am not afraid of Armageddon, not bothered by the idea of global-thermo-nuclear-warfare, and am even nonchalant when it comes to the baggage retrieval system they've got at Heathrow.* What gets me is whether or not something's stuck in my teeth, or if my panty line is showing, or that's I'll open my mouth and the wrong thing will come flying out, as it is so apt to do. I am self-conscious to a large, San Andreas sort of fault.
The problem with that is that I have allowed this to more or less stop my life. I have never considered myself worth all that much. I am overly apologetic for nonsensical things. I am completely incapable of asking for help, not because I am too proud, but because I am certain that I am an inconvenience to all those around me. I do not aspire, in general, because I know I will fail.
Knowing that almost solidifies the fact that I will. Prophecies tend to self-fulfill, you know?
I have no misconceptions of being alone in this; I think most us tend to resign ourselves to some fate at some point in our lives. We work jobs that we don't love because we feel that we have to. We stay in relationships we shouldn't because we feel obligated to. We live beyond our means on other people's dreams because we think that's succeeding**. We do what's easy, because it's possible.
I never went to college because I didn't deserve it. I had already blown an amazing education and was therefore doomed to serve drunk people drinks in dark bars. I never tried to get an awesome job, or forge a career path, because I have no marketable skill, and am useless to most employers. I have accepted what has been handed to me and made the best of it and have called that things like Brave and Daring.
It is not Brave, it is not Daring. It is totally cowardly chicken shit.
There is a point where we have to come to terms with the status quo. I stay at home with my three children, I live in a foreign country (it's really not all that foreign, and the money is cooler here) and my husband works 8 bazillion hours a week. I don't really want to live where I live, am pretty sure I'm not cut out for the Homemaker gig, and would like to remember what my husband looks like some time this decade. These things are just non-negotiables in my life, though. They are THE WAY THINGS ARE. This is the sacrifice I make for my family.
If you bought that line, I have some lovely beach front property in Denver I'd like to show you.
There is no reason that I don't get up off my ass, enroll in school, get a job, hire a sitter and go sit in my husband's bar one night, or move. Not one good reason, except that I am scared shitless to do any of the above. I am afraid to put myself out there. I am afraid to fail, and so I don't try.
I rationalize this away as, 'Oh, we can't afford another student loan payment' or 'I'd have to put the kids in daycare and any income I made would just go to that' or 'I have all this ironing to do on a Saturday night'. Whatever. I know it's bullshit, but I let myself get all martyr-y about it, because it makes me feel better about the whole situation. The one thing I know I'm excellent at is dying for a cause. Jesus ain't got nothing on me, yo.
Which leads me to my point.
I don't think I believe in the status quo anymore. I don't think that we have to be limited, by almost anything, if we really want something badly enough. I think that with a little courage, we can all shake our shit up and make something happen. Whether it's downsizing your life to make the life you want achievable, or it's moving into your parent's basement for a while to give yourself time to sort yourself, whether it's going to stand in front a crowd of a thousand women in San Francisco and talk, something will give in that.
I am 33 years old and aside from cranking out a few kids, I have done nothing with my life thus-far. Sure, I am raising some fine children, but I lost myself in the mix. The one interesting thing I have done is right here, and I have spent the better part of 4 years convincing myself that it's some silly little hobby of mine, that it doesn't matter.
Maybe it doesn't, but maybe it does.
Fall has neatly landed in my lap. Lattes are suddenly appropriate afternoon delights. Pumpkin pies are crying out to be cooked, and NaNoWriMo is coming. I am going to write The Book, goddammit. It's right *here* on the tip of my tongue, and I think it's time.
Now, what the hell do I write a book about?
*The first person that correctly identifies that gets moved to the top of the blogroll. Not much of a prize, I know, but still.
**Or that one.
Reader Comments (83)
Sorry for the language, but the fuck if I know. I need my own damn idea.
Once upon a time, Zoeyjane wrote..http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/19/on-control-in-reverse/" rel="nofollow">On control (in reverse)
Whoa...that is weird. I was just going to suggest to you that you write a book tonight. I don't mean write a book tonight, mind you. I'll rephrase. Tonight I was going to suggest that you write a book.
The key to writing a good book is writing something you know. You've practically already done it. Whiskey in My Sippy Cup is a perfect title, and your content is the perfect, well, content.
My suggestion? Write a book on your life. Write it straight from the heart, regardless of what people may think. Damn the torpedoes, so to speak. You remind me of a young Erma Bombeck...people will line up to read your life's tale, believe me.
I think this may be the most marketable idea I have heard all year, and I want a piece of it. Let me know how I can help.
Once upon a time, matt wrote..http://redsparks.com/playpen/2008/09/19/psst-god-you-still-there/" rel="nofollow">Psst. God. You still there?
Oh, and by the way? You're worth a Hell of a lot more than you think. ;)
Once upon a time, matt wrote..http://redsparks.com/playpen/2008/09/19/psst-god-you-still-there/" rel="nofollow">Psst. God. You still there?
I'm going to agree with Matt on both of his posts.
Your writing is compelling and if you've done a great thing right here. Raising children is also no small task, as I know as I'm at the same count and have a pretty good idea of the stress and determination it takes to raise three children.
Not too many people have me coming back as regularly as your blog does. Like I said. It's a compelling read and your writing style is wonderful. I only wish I had half the talent you do.
I just rant incoherently at 4 O'Clock in the morning and wake up the next morning regretting what I've written. (I have a strict "no delete" policy that keeps me honest, I really need a "No posting between the hours of Midnight and Six" policy to go with it)
I hope the MIL visit is supremely uneventful. Can't wait to have you back full-time. :)
Once upon a time, ShredderFeeder wrote..http://www.shredderfood.com/?p=197" rel="nofollow">On Sleeping…
I added you to my reader ages ago, and for some reason just kept skipping opening you up, passing you up for the other blogs that I know more. After reading this, I realize I have some serious catching up to do around here.
This post jumped the hell out at me in a big way. A freaky lot.
Once upon a time, Bluestreak wrote..http://mybluestreak.blogspot.com/2008/09/echinacea-is-that-what-i-need-to-be.html" rel="nofollow">Echinacea? Is that what I need to be taking?
Spamalot.
And, be audaciously badass. Maybe you aren't going to know what's in that book until you start to write 37 outlines. Or talk it over with a buddy over coffee. Or drive a certain house guest to the airport.
Be. Audaciously. Badass.
Once upon a time, patty wrote..http://blog.wingdangdoo.com/2008/09/not-dead-yet/" rel="nofollow">not dead yet
I agree with the others so far: you're a writer.
If you can't figure out what your book would be about, if I were you I would start by going through your old blog posts, picking a few of them, and--though they are already written well--expand on some of them in more detail. That should get you going.
There are tons of other "Writer Starters" out there, but they are mostly generic. Stick with what you know!
I know you can do it. Everyone else knows you can do it. YOU just have to believe you can do it.
Once upon a time, Melisa wrote..http://thesuburbanscrawl.blogspot.com/2008/09/you-can-take-girl-out-of-high-school.html" rel="nofollow">You Can Take The Girl Out of High School...
You could write mine!
Once upon a time, Xbox4NappyRash wrote..http://xbox4nappyrash.blogspot.com/2008/09/is-it-normal.html" rel="nofollow">Is it normal...
I can't wait for that book.
I need a new career too. I can totally be your assistant/stylist/PR gal, if you will have me.
Once upon a time, OHmommy wrote..http://www.classychaos.com/2008/09/pizza-not-just-for-dinner-anymore.html" rel="nofollow">Pizza. Not just for dinner anymore.
It's a comfort zone and it's not all bad
Once upon a time, Megryansmom wrote..http://lookitsmegryansmom.blogspot.com/2008/09/friday-five-round-two.html" rel="nofollow">Friday Five---Round Two
Maybe base it on something that happened in your life but embellish? I have just started writing some chick lit type books (as a hobby, see where it goes) because that's what I like to read. What do you like to read? That could help you determine what kind of book comes most 'naturally' to you.
Once upon a time, Elle Charlie wrote..http://sometimesagirlneedsablog.blogspot.com/2008/09/intense.html" rel="nofollow">Intense
It's a funny thing, reading blogs. I've been reading you for a while and I always thought you were supremely confident and a kick-ass writer and here you are, just like me, terrified of failure. I just had this conversation with my therapist last night. Very weird to read all this this morning.
The only way to stop feeling that way is to just take a deep breath and put yourself out there. Do it in baby steps - it's much less scary that way. It's still hard, it still makes your knees quake and your voice quiver, but if you keep doing it, you'll get better at it. If you're at all like me, you never lose that feeling, but the "You will fall flat on your face" chant recedes a bit.
Once upon a time, Major Bedhead wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/MajorBedhead/~3/395568389/in-case-youre-confused.html" rel="nofollow">In Case You're Confused
Hey Lady! Don't take this the wrong way...............it just my way of encouraging you......Peace. Mike.
P.S. I have never smoked crack...........
Woman!
I've been hearin' 'bout the things you say
Woman, yeah
I don't want you talkin' that way
Wanna take you home, give you some money
Every time I try, you think that it's funny
Woman, yeah
I don't want you talkin' that way
Don't want to break you
I just want to make it, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, hey
Woman
Oh, how about you and me?
Woman
Think about what it could be
Wanna take you home, do things to you
Every time I try, you just think that I'm foolin'
Woman, woah
How about you and me?
Don't wanna break you
I just want to make you, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Come on, do it for me once!
Oh, woman, yeah
I don't want you to act so bad
Woman, yeah, yeah, yeah
You're the best thing I ever had
Wanna take you home, spend my time with you
You see it, babe, it's clear that I miss you
Woman, yeah, yeah, yeah
I don't want you to act so bad
I don't wanna break you
I just wanna make it, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ah, ah, ah, ah woman
Why do you, why do you act that way?
Woman, yeah, yeah, yeah
You know what?
Ah, good God!
Ya know what?
Aw, get it on!
Woman by The James Gang from Rides Again
The book? Needs to be about you. What you've overcome. Make it a novelized version of the shit you've put up with if you need to - make it an idealized version ... or a more hellacious version...(if that's possible), but whatever you do, get it out of your head and heart and onto paper.
Wasn't that second ** part of one of Obama's speeches? No? Okay, well it should be.
Ya know, you have one of the best blogs that I read. You are an excellent writer and I have no doubt you would do an excellent job at a book.
I've been working since I was 15. There has only been a period of 2 years that I didn't work since I was 21 and I'm 44. There were times I felt so freaking guilty for taking my kids to daycare. But I know me, and I can't stay home, cause I start feeling the same way you are feeling right. Thankfully, I make really good money, BUT, I'm not happy with my job anymore, and I have no freaking clue what else I would want to do.
Start the book. Just WRITE something every day, even if it doesn't make since, (aside from this blog of course!). I've read somewhere you have to force yourself to write, and then the ideas will just come to you, right out of your brain when you least expect it.
Once upon a time, Robina wrote..http://justanotherday-bina.blogspot.com/2008/09/i-was-tagged-by-mr-nighttime.html" rel="nofollow">I was tagged by Mr. Nighttime
First ref: Monty Python.
Second ref: Janis Ian
Now for the comment...
You iron? Seriously?
OK, all kidding aside, I have not been reading your site for very long, but I will say that you can write quite well, and I think your style will lend itself to a novel of some sort rather nicely.
With that being said, you have to do what you want to do, within the limitations you have in your life, OR you have to change those limitations in order to do what you want. Make sense?
Isn't this kind of how Sex and the City started? A series of newspaper columns, hand-picked and modified for a book.
Then the TV series, Movie, fame and fortune for the author, blah blah blah... ;-)
Go for it Lady....You've got the chops.
Who do you think should play Mr.Lady? ;-) Sarah Jessica Parker doesn't quite seem the right fit.
Once upon a time, ShredderFeeder wrote..http://www.shredderfood.com/?p=197" rel="nofollow">On Sleeping…
I think you pretty much covered what every writer feels at the begining of their story. We're all just a bunch of introverts. If we were confident in our abilities, we would be motivational speakers, not people who have the luxury to constantly tweek and refine their own words.
How about this, I'll stand at edge of the cliff with you - you jump, I jump. I've been looking for a great excuse to get over my fear of the "great novel." Hell, at this point, I'd settle for getting published in Parents Magazine.
And if you can figure out how to write a life's story without alienating pretty much everyone in your world (I know that character is me! Admit it!), let me know. At this moment, that seems to be my largest hurdle.
Take a deep breath...
Em
Once upon a time, Em wrote..http://eminpursuit.blogspot.com/2008/09/life-soundtrack-compliments-of-queen.html" rel="nofollow">Life soundtrack compliments of Queen.
Write a thriller novel about a murder. Involve your MIL. As the victim.
You realize of course, now that you've put this out here in the blogosphere, you have established some accountability, right? I think all the comments so far, and I have no doubt the ones yet to come, all agree that we'd LOVE to have a novelized version of Whiskey in my Sippy Cup, Mr. Lady's Life Extraordinary. So hop to it! November is just a few weeks away.
If you need a proofreader, all I need is text and some coffee and I'm game (I'll even provide my own coffee)!
Once upon a time, Cuppa Jo wrote..http://roomtobloom.blogspot.com/2008/09/ode-to-my-best-friend.html" rel="nofollow">An Ode to my Best Friend
Just start writing, let the ideas flow. I know that it will be amazing, you have a knack, a talent for the written word and expressing yourself.
Waiting anxiously for excerpts :-)
Once upon a time, rachel wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FromTheLandOfMonkeysAndPrincesses/~3/396891393/hurrication-lessons-photo-story-friday.html" rel="nofollow">Hurrication Lessons; Photo Story Friday
In an effort to one up SciFi Dad, I'll go one better, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0e10baH6cE&feature=related
I know what you're feeling all too well. I think it comes as a byproduct of being home and caring for those 23 genes we offered up to the party that make up the little person we had a hand in creating. My advice is simple, it comes from a profound and and elegant philosophy that I have developed over the years and it has served me well. I believe this above all other things, "Fuck it." Not in the literal "would this make me a perv sense," but rather in the acceptance that what will be, will be. And that you have no control over a lot of things, so by proxy it isn't worth getting worked up over. "Fuck it" has a postulation as a part of it, "Be a shoe." This postulation states that one shouldn't be fearful and should be willing to "just do it."
Just start writing. Even know I am reading the final draft of one of my best friends book in which she details her religious convictions and her time spent in the adult film industry. The book is due out in March, but she started by just writing with no clear vision. That came as a result of what she started putting to paper, well, computer screen really.
You can do this.
Once upon a time, Will wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/GamingWithBaby/~3/393641379/youll-never-watch-sesame-street-same.html" rel="nofollow">You'll never watch Sesame Street the same way again
I agree with Ree, the book needs to be about you. You have a great writer's voice and no doubt you can write a book if you put your mind to it.
Your post resonated with me. I felt that way for God knows how long. Didn't go to college, dropped out of high school and got a GED. I work in a field now where virtually everyone is college-educated, makes for a fine inferiority complex. But you know what? I'm here. Obviously I'm talented at what I do. I beat out two guys with college degrees for the job I have now, and that's when it SANK IN...I rock at what I do! Other people think I rock at what I do! They must not be wrong...I must be the one who sucks at evaluating myself and my talents. Oh, DUH.
So you can write that book, or go to college, or do whatever it is you think you can't do, or aren't good enough to do, whatever. Because sometimes we're just so fucking wrong about ourselves.
Once upon a time, kat wrote..http://thiscouldgetuglier.blogspot.com/2008/09/ike-approaches-pictures.html" rel="nofollow">Ike Approaches - Pictures
You truly are not alone in the way you are feeling. This post resonates deeply with me. I'm going with the status quo...or perhaps a shake up due to my husband's lay off and potential move due to HIS job. I get butterflies to think about what I want to do when I grow up. There are so many possibilities and, despite the many excuses I can come up with, the only thing holding me back is...ME.
You are an amazing writer and have a lot of great stories to tell. Tell your story in your own voice. Embellish a little if you need to, though doubtful. I'd buy that book.
Once upon a time, Ashlie- MommyCosm wrote..http://www.mommycosm.com/journal/2008/9/18/grammar-police-vapid.html" rel="nofollow">Grammar Police: Vapid
Get out of my head, girl!! I have been thinkin the same thing. I have a work at home job that I kind of half-assedly do while I send my kids to daycare/preschool all day, and even with all the "Free time" my job affords me my house is still a raging shithole and my dog is scared of the laundry pile. I feel completely worthless most days and I have been thinking about doing something to really shake things up. My initial thought was to change my schedule and keep my kids home with me a couple days a week, but with Hubbz working from home that wont' really work. Then I thought about... wait for it... WRITING A BOOK... but I couldn't think of anything to write about. I feel like it's all been said, you know, that I have absolutely nothing new to add to the world because my life is wholly unremarkable. But I know theres' something else out there for me, so I'm going to keep looking for it. You? You are one of the most interesting, thought provoking people I "met" online... I would totally read your book!!!
Once upon a time, Jill wrote..http://charmingdelightful.blogspot.com/2008/09/i-dont-feel-like-it.html" rel="nofollow">I don't feel like it
wow, like another reader said above........ reading your blog i was always intimidated by your caliber or humor, sarcasm, talent etc etc and always thought you were this super uber confident woman.
to find out that you're terrified of trying bc you've already succombed to failure? that is SO ME. i guess, a lot of people, too.
i have no words of wisdom. (except that the heathrow reference is monty python) i have no way to encourage you except to say...
i am addicted to your blog.i read it religiously, daily, sometimes check it more than once a day to see if you've updated. you are THAT funny. you are snarky as hell, hilarious, loving, poignant and all-around a good read. and if you wrote a book? uhm, me? yeah, that would be me lining up for your book signing just so i could look at you and say, 'well, about time!'
you do a remarkable job. and that is solely bc you are a remarkable person.
(or. you know. as far as i can tell from knowing you thru a one-way blog conversation. now i sound deranged.)
Once upon a time, Lo wrote..http://slaphappymusings.blogspot.com/2008/09/all-sorts-of-snarkish-behavior-or-aka.html" rel="nofollow">all sorts of snarkish behavior (or a.k.a. my date with mr. cop-badge-man)
{spoken in a depressed Marvin voice} I could make a suggestion. But you won't like it.
You need to write the painful details of your childhood and the lessons about being a wife and mother that you learned from all the dysfunction and the process of being true to yourself. You say that you are not a woman of faith. In yourself. -- I look at your life and I disagree.
Title: Finding My Faith
Trust me.
Once upon a time, Marge wrote..http://wheremytruthlives.wordpress.com/2008/09/17/tulip/" rel="nofollow">Tulip
Luke, I am your editor.
Once upon a time, Marge wrote..http://wheremytruthlives.wordpress.com/2008/09/17/tulip/" rel="nofollow">Tulip
I signed up at NaNoWriMo too. Just heard about it...always wanted to write a book and like you, have no idea what to write about, save for my memoir. Because we all want to know my tragic little story of watching people get sick and die, something I seem to be pretty well-practiced in.
Once upon a time, Darcie wrote..http://cavedweller1019.blogspot.com/2008/09/thousand-words-thursday_17.html" rel="nofollow">A Thousand Words Thursday
How did you manage to write the same stuff that goes through my head way too often? Nice to know I'm not the only one who feels so... so. I'll cheer you on every day through November! (And I have no idea why that quote keeps showing up by my comments here....)
Once upon a time, Goldfish wrote..http://onthreekids.blogspot.com/2008/09/did-i-mention-he-loves-football.html" rel="nofollow">Did I mention he loves football?
Never mind, it didn't show up this time.
Once upon a time, Goldfish wrote..http://onthreekids.blogspot.com/2008/09/did-i-mention-he-loves-football.html" rel="nofollow">Did I mention he loves football?
Okay, long-time lurker here. Also bestselling author. Also, birthday girl (which yeah, has nothing to do with anything, but I saw the Sept. 19 icon at the top of your page and thought for the bazillionth time today, "It's September 19!")
I'm de-lurking to tell you that writing was the most fulfilling thing I've ever done with my life. Now it's financially fulfilling, but even before that (because regardless of how well you can write, making money off it is a long shot), even before I sold my first book, just being able to spend a couple hours a day creating characters and worlds-not-unlike-my-own was the way I got through the world's most hellish jobs. It's kind of like meditating, minus the mind-numbing boredom.
Why don't you do what you're so good at, and write about your life? Maybe a "One Mom's Search For Meaning," kind of thing? I think you'd be awesome at it and...since you already have this blog as a platform...you'd have a much greater chance of getting it published than the rest of the writer-wanna-be's out there.
Your book would rock, girl. I'd be the first on line to get it.
What do you write a book about?! Are you kidding? You can write a book about your life, you can make it an autobiography or you can embellish. It might be the perfect opportunity to get your goals in order if you embellish, meaning: dream, about what you would like to happen.
Once upon a time, Natalie wrote..http://www.startingfromhere.com/?p=181" rel="nofollow">Behavior Modification
I will LINE UP to buy your book - now get GOING!
Once upon a time, Don Mills Diva wrote..http://donmillsdiva.blogspot.com/2008/09/cub-bear-tries-to-prettify-herself.html" rel="nofollow">A cub bear tries to prettify herself: fails
Dude - Monty Python, and I'm not even a fan. But that song was everywhere a few months ago when the new terminal at Heathrow opened.
Good luck with NaNoWriMo. I'd been thinking about trying that out this year, but I'm going on vacation in November, and be damned if I'm spending my beach time in Hawaii attached to my laptop.
I say write a revenge novel all about some very hot chick sticking it to her MIL. ;)
Once upon a time, Latte Mommy wrote..http://lattemommy.blogspot.com/2008/09/are-you-gonna-eat-that.html" rel="nofollow">Are You Gonna Eat That?
Fear of failure is so paralyzing. I know it. You go, girl. Before you mentioned the book I thought, "Just this woman's writing alone is a marketable skill! Businesses need good writers and communicators!" And then you mentioned the book. And because I would absolutely join Don Mills Diva in line to buy it, I selfishly join my voice to the chorus of encouragement here. Go, Mr. Lady, go!
Once upon a time, Fawn wrote..http://fawnahareo.com/2008/09/17/still-alive/" rel="nofollow">Still alive
Spin, spin the other way.
I've been a lot of places and done a lot of things and I'm going to have to do a lot of other things in the near future and all I want to do is stay home and raise my daughter.
Trade ya.
Once upon a time, Backpacking Dad wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/BackpackingDad/~3/395978116/rez-stories-runaway.html" rel="nofollow">Rez Stories: Runaway
Mr. Lady I love you. You can TOTALLY do this. You're right about self-fulfilling prophecies. Use it your advantage. I KNOW you can do this. You have my complete and total support, for whatever that may be worth. (and seriously...you have my email if you want any proof-reading or anything, I'm more than happy to help out)
Once upon a time, Jaina wrote..http://girl-with-the-camera.blogspot.com/2008/09/insomnia-of-busy-mind.html" rel="nofollow">Insomnia of a Busy Mind
Heathrow? Totally London England.
Back to the meat and potatoes.
I am a single mother of two and a full time student at University. Before I spent the four years (which I am rounding up) I did two years at College. And, to finish that off, I'm looking at either teachers college or a Masters next year.
It's? TOTALLY do-able. You have to remember the passion that you have for what YOU want, what you are, what defines your desires. I promise you, that will drive you through the herculean effort of doing something you need/want/love.
If writing a book is that thing, or going back to school, or whatever you need to fulfill your identity, DO IT! You can do it. I promise.
D.A.G.
Once upon a time, Double Agent Girl wrote..http://doubleagentgirl.blogspot.com/2008/09/forsaken.html" rel="nofollow">Forsaken
Mighty Python!
Second of all, when I eventually escape to Canada for a while I MUST come meet you. I could have written this post and I have a feeling we would get along fabulously.
Once upon a time, Perksofbeingme wrote..http://perksofbeingme.blogspot.com/2008/09/obsessions.html" rel="nofollow">Obsessions
Because I know you'll reject idea #1, here's idea#2:
Mr. Lady's Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy (and a compilation of naughty alternative lyrics to your child's favorite songs).
Once upon a time, Marge wrote..http://wheremytruthlives.wordpress.com/2008/09/19/marge-madness-2/" rel="nofollow">Marge Madness
It was brave to post this.
It was brave to put together the Rocky Mntn Bloggers Bash during the DNC.
There. I've listed to brave things from the last month. Imagine if I sorted through your real, actual life what I might find.
One way I've found my own way out of this darkness is to set a good example for my children, especially my daughter. What would you say to her if she said this to you? You would say she's wrong. That she can. That she must. That the world is waiting for her.
So, my sister, the world is waiting for you. And your book.
If it were easy, we'd all be doing it, right?
You know it. But sometimes you need 40 comments to remind you.
Once upon a time, Catherine wrote..http://pinkasparag.us/2008/09/19/haiku-arrrrrrrrrrr/" rel="nofollow">Haiku Arrrrrrrrrrr
Wow! For some reason, and I may have said this before, I think you are a star/celebrity (in the weird internet age) for having so many readers of your awesome blog. Obviously, you are a an extremely talented writer and are willing to work hard so and have a way of creating a compelling narrative around your identity and your life, yah, I'm sure you could write a great book about your life. Of course, I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass. Few books go on to be great or even sellable!
Here are some ideas for a book/screenplay! You can steal this shit -- my movie about the stoner SAHD who gets involved in a whacky crime-adventures (Adventures in Babysitting/Mr. Mom/Pineapple Express/Enter the Dragon) is in the works already and it will blow the doors off any other crap.
1) Mom becomes Angie Dickinson like Police Woman -- kids help solve crimes and other cops gone bad?
2) Whiskey drinking, soused up mom invents new breakthrough product that brings riches, but tears family apart. Must learn to grow back together after money is lost.
3) Hilarious detective mom, a la Fletch, becomes major league pitcher after gender re-assignment to uncover steriods in baseball. Will the kids love MR. lady after it's all over?
Whew! Good luck Mr. Lady! You rock my world!
Once upon a time, Punditdad wrote..http://punditdad.wordpress.com/2008/09/17/so-a-sahd-and-a-baby-go-to-a-store/" rel="nofollow">So a SAHD and a baby go to a store…
Well, Mr. Lady, if you can't believe in yourself right now, why don't you let us all lend you the belief *we* have in you? Sometimes that works until you can start to believe it for yourself.
I love marking things up with red pen. You've got enough people offering to proof for you, you've got your own writing group! And cheerleaders, and supporters, and BELIEVERS. I say, go for it!
Once upon a time, Linds wrote..http://themuseasylum.wordpress.com/2008/09/19/friday-fill-ins-3/" rel="nofollow">Friday Fill-Ins
I was all about doing Nano this year until I remembered I'm having a baby on November. Damn! That makes it six years putting it off and counting.
I am, however, determined to finish editing and submitting the longish-short-story (27,000 words or so) that I wrote in July BEFORE the baby comes. Damn it. MUST ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING.
Once upon a time, Maria wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/MommyMelee/~3/395139249/do-you-know-muffin-man.html" rel="nofollow">Do you know the muffin man?
Write whatever you want. Our opinion doesn't matter. Well, I mean, mine does. But you are most important, of course. :)
PS: "Cranking out a few kids" is an accomplishment in my book. Also, you're a terribly engaging writer whether you've been trained to be or not. The talent is there, Mr. Lady.
(Isn't that first bit from Alice in Wonderland?)
Once upon a time, Maria wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/MommyMelee/~3/395139249/do-you-know-muffin-man.html" rel="nofollow">Do you know the muffin man?
Clean your glasses so you can see it. You are so much more.
I must also add you must write a book. It is just waiting for the right time to get out, and if it is now, jump on it.
Once upon a time, anne nahm wrote..http://annenahm.com/?p=508" rel="nofollow">This is so Much More Annoying Than the Knot in My Panties
write on, mr lady.
and on and on and on.
i would shove all those other people out of the way to be first in line for your book.
Once upon a time, the planet of janet wrote..http://www.fromtheplanetofjanet.com/2008/09/haiku-friday-he-knows-me-too-well.html" rel="nofollow">Haiku Friday: the "he knows me too well" edition
Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
my 7-year-old told me this a while ago. (and no i'm not embarrassed to tell you that she learned it from a hilary duff movie)
but it's soooo true. i am always afraid to try things because i'm convinced i'll fail. but you?? there's so much potential! you can do so many things! but you have to try! don't settle for status quo.
(and if you DO write a book...i know of a really good - and really cute - editor. heh)
I don't know, what a lame prize, and I don't know. ;)