Saturday
Sep272008
Where Are All The Good Men Dead?
Saturday, September 27, 2008 at 2:13AM | Mr Lady
A few, um, years ago a wrote a little post just saying I was having lunch with a boy named Tim. I wish the comments had carried over so you could read a little more about him. Either way, I never really said another word about it, so I thought I may as well tell you all the story today.
I met Tim at the Burger King on 88th and Wadsworth in Arvada, Colorado in my junior year of high school. We went to high school together, but he was a big popular soccer player and I was a complete, scary, theater geek dork who had just moved to Colorado after leaving her insane mother in the middle of the night in Delaware. I'd seen him, but never knew his name. We had a monumentally different core friend group.
Anyway, some friends and I were out driving around the mall and some guys in a car started following us. One of my friends knew them and so we let them follow us to the Burger King. I can't remember what we talked about, but I do know that by the end of the night, Tim and I were running around laughing our asses off, crowing each other Queens and Kings with those paper Burger King hats.
I never expected to talk to him again, knowing how the social structure in high school goes, but he totally came up to me a few days later and said hi. And then he called me over to his locker one day, just to talk. We ended up being really good friends. His boys, THE boys, gave him more crap than I can ever begin to describe to you for hanging out with me. One day, I was walking away from them in the hall and they gave me that glare-with-a-shoulder-bump thing that asshole jocks give people they don't like, and as I walked on I heard him say, "Shut up, I just like her. She's nice. You could be, too, you know."
You stick up for my honor? You're stuck with my ass for life.
We graduated and I gave him a Burger King Hat, he wrote something very sweet in my yearbook, and that was that. A year, a year and a half later, I ran into him somewhere. My boyfriend and I were broken up, and so Tim and I went out to Ground Zero in Boulder (and if you know what that is, congrats, you're ancient) and had one of those one-thing-leads-to-several-nothers nights. I'd tell you the details which are actually quite funny, but honestly it's one of the most silly, romantic, awkward memories I have, and I'm keeping it to myself.
We never "dated." We just hung out. A LOT. I was living with a friend with a colicky baby, and he'd come over at night to help me with her. We never went out on dates, I never met his mom, we just watched movies and ate Snack Packs and did other things I won't mention. We were young, not even 20 yet, single, not looking, and old friends. It was safe and easy and comfortable.
And then my 20th birthday came. I didn't hear from him, and I noticed that I hadn't heard anything. My nose was actually bent a little out of shape about it. We weren't dating, he didn't owe me a call or flowers or anything, and I had no right to expect any. I went to bed kind of upset over the whole thing, even though I'd had a lovely party with a bunch of friends.
I should mention here that my roommate and I shared a bed because the baby had the second room.
I stirred in the middle of the night because I thought I felt something at my feet. I thought it must be Jen, and so I rolled over and tried to get back to sleep, when I realized that I was really feeling something at my feet. I froze for a second and then ever so slowly, I tried to sit up. Right there, right in front of my face, was Tim. In my bed, damn near right on top of me, grinning his dorky ass off.
Dude, what the FUCK do you think you're doing?
To which he replied, "It's your birthday. You didn't think I'd miss your birthday, did you?" And he leaned up, gave me a quick kiss, and ran out of the room. I jumped up, followed him out, and in the living room I asked him exactly how he'd gotten in, since the doors were all locked.
"I broke in through the patio door, of course." "Dude, the patio door is on the balcony, three full stories from the ground. How'd you get up?" "Oh, that. I climbed all the balconies."
He climbed. All three balconies. In the middle of the night. To say happy birthday. TO ME.
I told him he could leave the way he came in, and he did just that.
He continued his very non-committal relationship with me for a few months, even though his friends we still downright pissed at him for seeing me. We had a really great time together, and then my ex and I decided it was high time to give us another go. I went into the place where Tim worked to tell him I couldn't exactly be sleeping with him anymore, and I saw something I fully did not expect to see. The dude's lip quivered. He stammered. He wished me luck and walked away.
Oh, fuck, dude. You liked-me liked me, and you never told me? FUCK.
Anyway, I didn't see him after that for a long time. He moved to Florida, and his friends who so disliked me eventually came around. I'd see them out occasionally, and they said that Tim sold them on me, and that they were sorry they'd been so mean, and that they'd misjudged me. At our 10 year high school reunion, 8 years after our little thing, one of them had Tim on the phone and handed it to me.
We totally re-connected. We'd talk on the phone sometimes, email sometimes, and once he called me all drunk and told me he loved me. And then he handed the phone to his drunk friend, also in Florida, who told me that, Oh yeah, he loves you.
That is why I was nervous to have lunch with him. We have a lot of emotional history, after all. Lunch that day was totally nice, though. We talked about his job, how he'd finally managed to leave Florida, and my kids. We just caught up, like good little grown ups, and made tentative plans for another lunch.
I can't remember if we actually made it to another lunch, but he and his friends used to come to my bar about once a month to hang out. We were emailing pretty consistently again and texting back and forth and just kind of around in each other's lives, you know? A few months before I moved back to Canada, and back with Josh, Tim and his same two friends and I all met out at some Denver bar for drinks. Tim was smashed by the time that I got there and it wasn't an hour before he had to go home. I hung out with the other guys for a while who explained to me that the reason he was so smashed was that he was nervous to see me. That he was going to try to make his move that night.
(Aside: It wouldn't have worked. Just throwing that out there.)
I talked to him the next day on the phone, just for a second, to make sure he'd gotten on the right train home, and I haven't spoken to him since. I've sent a few emails, and a little while ago I sent him a friend request on Facebook, but he never answered it.
He died last weekend of unknown causes.
He'd apparently met a girl, got married, came home from his honeymoon and had some surgery on his ankle. Four days later his brand new bride found him unconscious and not breathing. 3 1/2 weeks in a medically induced coma brought no help, and his wife and family pulled the plug last weekend.
I know a lot of people who've died; like, an unreasonable amount. Most of my houses in my chart are in death. It kind of surrounds me and shit. But I've never had someone this physically close to me die, and I'm having a really hard time processing it. Some whom I've lost, I can pinpoint their smell, or the feel of their hand in my memory. This one, I've got a pretty good recollection of through every single sense, and even though it's been more than a decade, and more than a lifetime without him having a big presence in my life, I find myself aching today. Some part of me feels like there's a void. The saddness that comes with that feeling is, quite frankly, shockingly low.
I never told him how much he meant to me. I never thanked him for sticking up for me for all those years. I never said I was sorry for ignoring how he felt and just going about my way. I never said a lot of things I ought to have. His services are on Tuesday in Denver, and I am going to try to find a way to be there so I can say these things to the ether, and maybe, if I'm very wrong about some of my core beliefs, he'll catch them. In case I can't make it, I'm putting it here, and sending it out from me, and I hope it gets where it needs to.
Tim, you changed my life. You made some very awkward years easier for a scared girl who just couldn't handle anything harder than what she was facing already. You were the first boy who ever was "interested" in me, and you were a perfect gentleman from start to finish. It's men like you that restore my faith in mankind in general. I will cherish every single moment I've ever had with you, and don't think I don't know how lucky I am to have had them. When it comes time for me to tell my boys about how to treat a woman, you will be the first example I bring up.
I will miss you, my old friend. I thank you, and I'm sorry. You are not dead in my heart, and you never will be, as long as I have one.
I met Tim at the Burger King on 88th and Wadsworth in Arvada, Colorado in my junior year of high school. We went to high school together, but he was a big popular soccer player and I was a complete, scary, theater geek dork who had just moved to Colorado after leaving her insane mother in the middle of the night in Delaware. I'd seen him, but never knew his name. We had a monumentally different core friend group.
Anyway, some friends and I were out driving around the mall and some guys in a car started following us. One of my friends knew them and so we let them follow us to the Burger King. I can't remember what we talked about, but I do know that by the end of the night, Tim and I were running around laughing our asses off, crowing each other Queens and Kings with those paper Burger King hats.
I never expected to talk to him again, knowing how the social structure in high school goes, but he totally came up to me a few days later and said hi. And then he called me over to his locker one day, just to talk. We ended up being really good friends. His boys, THE boys, gave him more crap than I can ever begin to describe to you for hanging out with me. One day, I was walking away from them in the hall and they gave me that glare-with-a-shoulder-bump thing that asshole jocks give people they don't like, and as I walked on I heard him say, "Shut up, I just like her. She's nice. You could be, too, you know."
You stick up for my honor? You're stuck with my ass for life.
We graduated and I gave him a Burger King Hat, he wrote something very sweet in my yearbook, and that was that. A year, a year and a half later, I ran into him somewhere. My boyfriend and I were broken up, and so Tim and I went out to Ground Zero in Boulder (and if you know what that is, congrats, you're ancient) and had one of those one-thing-leads-to-several-nothers nights. I'd tell you the details which are actually quite funny, but honestly it's one of the most silly, romantic, awkward memories I have, and I'm keeping it to myself.
We never "dated." We just hung out. A LOT. I was living with a friend with a colicky baby, and he'd come over at night to help me with her. We never went out on dates, I never met his mom, we just watched movies and ate Snack Packs and did other things I won't mention. We were young, not even 20 yet, single, not looking, and old friends. It was safe and easy and comfortable.
And then my 20th birthday came. I didn't hear from him, and I noticed that I hadn't heard anything. My nose was actually bent a little out of shape about it. We weren't dating, he didn't owe me a call or flowers or anything, and I had no right to expect any. I went to bed kind of upset over the whole thing, even though I'd had a lovely party with a bunch of friends.
I should mention here that my roommate and I shared a bed because the baby had the second room.
I stirred in the middle of the night because I thought I felt something at my feet. I thought it must be Jen, and so I rolled over and tried to get back to sleep, when I realized that I was really feeling something at my feet. I froze for a second and then ever so slowly, I tried to sit up. Right there, right in front of my face, was Tim. In my bed, damn near right on top of me, grinning his dorky ass off.
Dude, what the FUCK do you think you're doing?
To which he replied, "It's your birthday. You didn't think I'd miss your birthday, did you?" And he leaned up, gave me a quick kiss, and ran out of the room. I jumped up, followed him out, and in the living room I asked him exactly how he'd gotten in, since the doors were all locked.
"I broke in through the patio door, of course." "Dude, the patio door is on the balcony, three full stories from the ground. How'd you get up?" "Oh, that. I climbed all the balconies."
He climbed. All three balconies. In the middle of the night. To say happy birthday. TO ME.
I told him he could leave the way he came in, and he did just that.
He continued his very non-committal relationship with me for a few months, even though his friends we still downright pissed at him for seeing me. We had a really great time together, and then my ex and I decided it was high time to give us another go. I went into the place where Tim worked to tell him I couldn't exactly be sleeping with him anymore, and I saw something I fully did not expect to see. The dude's lip quivered. He stammered. He wished me luck and walked away.
Oh, fuck, dude. You liked-me liked me, and you never told me? FUCK.
Anyway, I didn't see him after that for a long time. He moved to Florida, and his friends who so disliked me eventually came around. I'd see them out occasionally, and they said that Tim sold them on me, and that they were sorry they'd been so mean, and that they'd misjudged me. At our 10 year high school reunion, 8 years after our little thing, one of them had Tim on the phone and handed it to me.
We totally re-connected. We'd talk on the phone sometimes, email sometimes, and once he called me all drunk and told me he loved me. And then he handed the phone to his drunk friend, also in Florida, who told me that, Oh yeah, he loves you.
That is why I was nervous to have lunch with him. We have a lot of emotional history, after all. Lunch that day was totally nice, though. We talked about his job, how he'd finally managed to leave Florida, and my kids. We just caught up, like good little grown ups, and made tentative plans for another lunch.
I can't remember if we actually made it to another lunch, but he and his friends used to come to my bar about once a month to hang out. We were emailing pretty consistently again and texting back and forth and just kind of around in each other's lives, you know? A few months before I moved back to Canada, and back with Josh, Tim and his same two friends and I all met out at some Denver bar for drinks. Tim was smashed by the time that I got there and it wasn't an hour before he had to go home. I hung out with the other guys for a while who explained to me that the reason he was so smashed was that he was nervous to see me. That he was going to try to make his move that night.
(Aside: It wouldn't have worked. Just throwing that out there.)
I talked to him the next day on the phone, just for a second, to make sure he'd gotten on the right train home, and I haven't spoken to him since. I've sent a few emails, and a little while ago I sent him a friend request on Facebook, but he never answered it.
He died last weekend of unknown causes.
He'd apparently met a girl, got married, came home from his honeymoon and had some surgery on his ankle. Four days later his brand new bride found him unconscious and not breathing. 3 1/2 weeks in a medically induced coma brought no help, and his wife and family pulled the plug last weekend.
I know a lot of people who've died; like, an unreasonable amount. Most of my houses in my chart are in death. It kind of surrounds me and shit. But I've never had someone this physically close to me die, and I'm having a really hard time processing it. Some whom I've lost, I can pinpoint their smell, or the feel of their hand in my memory. This one, I've got a pretty good recollection of through every single sense, and even though it's been more than a decade, and more than a lifetime without him having a big presence in my life, I find myself aching today. Some part of me feels like there's a void. The saddness that comes with that feeling is, quite frankly, shockingly low.
I never told him how much he meant to me. I never thanked him for sticking up for me for all those years. I never said I was sorry for ignoring how he felt and just going about my way. I never said a lot of things I ought to have. His services are on Tuesday in Denver, and I am going to try to find a way to be there so I can say these things to the ether, and maybe, if I'm very wrong about some of my core beliefs, he'll catch them. In case I can't make it, I'm putting it here, and sending it out from me, and I hope it gets where it needs to.
Tim, you changed my life. You made some very awkward years easier for a scared girl who just couldn't handle anything harder than what she was facing already. You were the first boy who ever was "interested" in me, and you were a perfect gentleman from start to finish. It's men like you that restore my faith in mankind in general. I will cherish every single moment I've ever had with you, and don't think I don't know how lucky I am to have had them. When it comes time for me to tell my boys about how to treat a woman, you will be the first example I bring up.
I will miss you, my old friend. I thank you, and I'm sorry. You are not dead in my heart, and you never will be, as long as I have one.
Reader Comments (61)
Oh babe, I don't know what to say. That was beautifully told and I know that he already knows how you feel.
Celebrate Tim in your memories. Your story with him is embedded in your heart and you'll be surprised how it guides you in the future. I'm sorry you're feeling the pain of his passing. <3
Once upon a time, Nancy wrote..http://mariemillard.blogspot.com/2008/09/sweet-baby-james.html" rel="nofollow">Sweet Baby James
That was beautifully written. I hope you get to go so you can send your message.
Once upon a time, WhenSheWorePonytails wrote..http://ponytaildiaries.com/?p=489" rel="nofollow">Ignorance is …wait. What?
Oh. What a way to start to start my blog reading on a Saturday morning. How sad, moving and well-written. Thanks for sharing.
Once upon a time, Mrs. Who wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/IKnowWhereYouCanFindIt/~3/403693321/for-fun-friday-september-26-2008.html" rel="nofollow">For Fun Friday September 26, 2008
I just heard via the web a couple of days ago. I never really had much interaction with him, but he was nice. I remember that much. My condolences.
I've been reading your blog for a while now (love it, btw), but I've never commented. I needed to this morning, though. This was beautiful... a beautiful story, beautifully told. I can completely understand why Tim saw such value in you. And I suspect he knew how you felt about him. I'm gonna go now, 'cause I need a tissue... take care and I hope you make it to Denver.
Once upon a time, Diane wrote..http://dianesaddledramblings.blogspot.com/2008/09/good-mother.html" rel="nofollow">The Good Mother...
That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Once upon a time, Will wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/GamingWithBaby/~3/398559352/secret-lovers.html" rel="nofollow">Secret Lovers
Yeah...those people that are a part of you, but just never...fit...in your everyday life. I've had two, I think of them often, always fondly.
I concur with the first comment. I think the second they're gone, people just KNOW...all the shit we felt, or should/shouldn't have said...the places they touched. I think he knows.
Sorry for the loss, but happy for the memories. Thanks for sharing 'em. (I don't comment often, but I read religiously, you've got a hell of a heart.)
That was heartbreaking... I am so sorry for the loss of your friend...
Once upon a time, tracey wrote..http://tracey-justanothermommyblog.blogspot.com/2008/09/going-on-lego-hunt.html" rel="nofollow">Going on a Lego Hunt...
Hey Lady! Sometimes..........make that all the time, I have trouble saying the things that I'm feeling in my heart. You are always in my thoughts..........whatever that's worth. Life is alot of pain.....but more importantly it's how you deal with it. I know as long as you live.....so shall the memory of Tim. Peace, Mike.
P.S. Fuckin' A
P.P.S. Noone can say it better than Lennon and McCartney
In My Life
There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more
Wow. I had a relationship/non-relationship like that and always marvelled at the connections we have with some unexpected people. I'm sorry that your friend passed so suddenly. Take care and hold onto these memories - they are good ones.
Once upon a time, katie ~ motherbumper wrote..http://motherbumper.blogspot.com/2008/09/motherbumper-on-modern-dentistry.html" rel="nofollow">motherbumper on modern dentistry
Wow, what a beautiful message. I'm so sorry that you never got to say all those things to him, but I bet he knows...somewhere, somehow. :)
I'm so sorry. I've lost a number of people close to me too, but none that were close like that. I hope you can make it to Denver. *hug*
Once upon a time, Darcie wrote..http://cavedweller1019.blogspot.com/2008/09/when-alls-said-and-done.html" rel="nofollow">When All's Said and Done
I'm sorry for your loss. I can't believe you have one of those lives where you keep running into people. That never happens to me.
Once upon a time, anne nahm wrote..http://annenahm.com/?p=533" rel="nofollow">What’s New, Annie-Cat?
I hope you get your chance. That was a beautiful tribute and story and I thank you for sharing it. My beliefs about death are not important other then I want to say that I believe we all turn to pure Bliss and I hope Tim is enjoying his.
Once upon a time, KD @ A Bit Squirrelly wrote..http://abitsquirrelly.blogspot.com/2008/09/proof-that-there-needs-to-be-big-head.html" rel="nofollow">Proof that there needs to be a "Big Head" section
Oh... what a sad story. I still haven't sorted out how I feel about death and an afterlife and all of that, but I think that he knew. He knew what you meant to him, and if he didn't know in life, somehow, through spirit or karma or God or somehowever, he will know it now.
Once upon a time, manager mom wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/BwvF/~3/404063077/little-help-please.html" rel="nofollow">A Little Help Please...
I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I really hope you can find a way to go to Denver, but if you don't, remember that the ether is everywhere. He'll hear you. I think he's probably heard you already.
((hugs))
I didn't know most of that about your history with him, just that he was a friend of yours. Ouch. Wish I had known him better in the day.
Sending a big hug - and another is waiting here for you if you make it.
Once upon a time, Marge wrote..http://wheremytruthlives.wordpress.com/2008/09/24/this-idea-requires-your-input/" rel="nofollow">This Idea Requires Your Input
I'm so sorry. I'm sending hugs.
Once upon a time, Zoeyjane wrote..http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/26/pwn-me/" rel="nofollow">Pwn Me
I'm sorry.
Oh honey, I'm so sorry. You heartfelt writing gives me a sense of what a beautiful person Tim was and I'm aching for you. XOX
Once upon a time, Fawn wrote..http://fawnahareo.com/2008/09/26/33-weeks-pregnant/" rel="nofollow">33 weeks pregnant
I'm so sorry, but I'm sure that Tim already knew how much you cared about him. That was a great tribute to him. I wish that I could think of something more helpful to say. My heart goes out to you right now. Loss is never easy no matter what form it comes in.
Once upon a time, One Mom's Opinion wrote..http://onemomsopinion.blogspot.com/2008/09/how-to-trash-new-car.html" rel="nofollow">How to trash a new car
Wow, I know words can offer little comfort, but I am very sorry for your loss. I hope you can make it to Denver. Be safe.
Em
Once upon a time, Em wrote..http://eminpursuit.blogspot.com/2008/09/paging-soldier-mcswoony-stat.html" rel="nofollow">Paging Soldier McSwoony - STAT!
{{hugs}} My heart aches for yours.
Once upon a time, Ree wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/hotfessional/KKFw/~3/403935168/" rel="nofollow">Friday Haiku - Homecoming
My heart is aching for your loss. I hope you can get to Denver, but as Latte Mommy said, the ether is everywhere.
Once upon a time, Linds wrote..http://themuseasylum.wordpress.com/2008/09/26/friday-fill-ins-4/" rel="nofollow">Friday Fill-Ins
Oh my hell darlin'.
This was wonderfully written and I am so sorry for your loss and for everyone's loss because there is no doubt in my mind he touched many. He sounds amazing.
My heart and thoughts go out to you. Thank you for sharing this.
Once upon a time, rachel wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FromTheLandOfMonkeysAndPrincesses/~3/404272411/she-had-her-at-my-bebe.html" rel="nofollow">She Had Her at 'My BeBe'
I am SO sorry. That is so freaking sad.
Thanks for sharing and he sounds like an awesome guy.
Once upon a time, Zak wrote..http://zakaryw.blogspot.com/2008/09/shopping-and-penis-straws.html" rel="nofollow">Shopping and Penis Straws
I'm sorry to hear about Tim; y'all being one class ahead of me, and me being less cool than even you, I really didn't get to know him. Kudos to you for writing this story so well, and hugs just because.
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you do get to make it to his service. {{hugs}}
Once upon a time, Tara R. wrote..http://ifmomsaysok.wordpress.com/2008/09/27/return-of-scrolling-saturday/" rel="nofollow">Return of Scrolling Saturday!
Sweetie, I'm so sorry. Loss is even more difficult when you haven't said all you wanted to say. I hope you make it to Denver and find some peace. This was a beautiful tribute.
Once upon a time, MommyTime wrote..http://mommysmartini.blogspot.com/2008/09/meet-our-newest-pet.html" rel="nofollow">Meet Our Newest Pet
you don't know me, i don't know you, but i want you to know how sorry i am for your loss. there is a song that has a line of lyrics that reads 'i wish that i could hold you, i wish that i had'. i think that this may be how you are feeling. if i know anything at all, i know that he sees you, hears you and knows how you feel. chin up.
Once upon a time, raino wrote..http://momofboxer.blogspot.com/2008/09/tad-poorer-but-we-survived-and-had-fun.html" rel="nofollow">A tad poorer but we survived AND had fun!
usually there is no way to explain those kinds of friendships to people, but you did an amazing job of it in this post. i hope that ache in your heart can be healed by believing that he probably already knew how important he was to you.
Once upon a time, auntie wrote..http://imstillhereagain.blogspot.com/2008/09/things-that-do-not-make-me-smile.html" rel="nofollow">Things that DO NOT make me laugh
Thankyou for sharing your memories they are amazingly heart inspiring...
I'm so sorry Shan. I wish I had something profound to say...YOU'D know what to say at a time like this, but I sure as hell don't. All I know is that I am so, so sorry.
I'm going to echo everyone else and say what's already been said: I hope you get to make it to Denver on Saturday, but if you don't, remember "the ether is everywhere."
And I just have to throw out there that you actually made me do that whole super-sharp-intake-of-breath thing when I read this line: "He died last weekend of unknown causes." That, my dear, is the mark of an artist. You craft with words what the rest of us only hope to. Beautifully, achingly written.
We love you, and we're thinking of you. All of us.
Hello. That was a great story. Im sorry about that.
Once upon a time, zandor wrote..http://zandor.wordpress.com/2008/09/26/how-should-i-cut-my-hair/" rel="nofollow">How should I cut my hair?
Damn. I kind of know how you feel, but not really. When my friend (Colin) died, there was so much left unsaid...so much I should have said earlier. So I sat on the side of the road at his accident site and talked to him and told him everything...it's just something that had to be done. I felt him sitting beside me, felt him nodding and smiling and felt the peace...was weird.
I hope you get to Colorado.
Once upon a time, Huckdoll wrote..http://huckdoll.blogspot.com/2008/09/not-beautiful-yet.html" rel="nofollow">Not Beautiful Yet
I'm so sorry.
Once upon a time, Kat wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SeekingSanity/~3/404431667/saturday-suggestions-part-1.html" rel="nofollow">Saturday Suggestions - Part 1
I'm SO sorry, Shannon. My heart is with you, and you know you can call me anytime.
Once upon a time, Leslie Dillinger wrote..http://thehipolounge.blogspot.com/2008/08/post-regarding-my-curious-state-of.html" rel="nofollow">
...
hugs
I'm so sorry.
I have a "Tim" too. Your post has inspired me to try and contact him tomorrow and while I may not say everything that should be said, I will somehow let him know what he means to me. I hope he already knows. I'm sure Tim knew your unspoken words.
Once upon a time, Heather wrote..http://orsportgirl.blogspot.com/2008/09/big-trip-east.html" rel="nofollow">The big trip East
A friend of mine from high school died right after high school, a couple months after I moved to Seattle.
She was just standing in her kitchen, holding an apple and then died.
She was probably the most beautiful girl I knew. And she was a brilliant artist. She could draw the wings of butterflies like she had created their design on an engineering pad, but she still kept them beautiful and magical.
Now, I'm going to spend the rest of my night thinking about her. Thanks.
No, really, thanks. I need a good excuse every now and then.
Once upon a time, Sleep Deprivation Ninja wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/SleepDeprivationNinja/~3/404547718/summary-of-presidential-debate.html" rel="nofollow">Summary of the Presidential Debate
He did sound like quite a guy. I'm sad for you and all the people whom he touched in his lifetime who surely have nice stories and memories like you shared with us. Really sorry for your loss.
Once upon a time, BusyDad wrote..http://www.busydadblog.com/entries/i-swear.html" rel="nofollow">I Swear
I feel all kinds of goosebumps reading that...
you have said what you should have...
he knows, and I am sure he always did...
Have you ever heard of the singer Keri Noble? She wrote the most beautiful song called, "A Dream About You" and I can't help running those lyrics over and over in my head as I read your tribute to Tim. Give it a listen.
And also, not that it helps too much, but we all have a Tim and we all ARE a Tim to someone else. If you suddenly died, there would be someone who didn't love you as much as you loved them (or in the same way)... who left you badly... who never told you what you meant to them... and if we ALL have one of those people, then it must just be a really, really human thing to do (and have done to us).
As a writer I admire likes to say, "Bygones."
I am sorry about your friend. I am sure he knew that you thought a lot of him. We always wonder about losing family members, but sometimes our friends know us like no one else can.
It's a space only two people know and know one else can share or know. It is something to grieve over.
Sorry for the loss of your friend.
I`m so sorry to hear that! I have a guy like that in my past, too and we haven`t spoken in years. I think I might just make another attempt after reading this. :(
Once upon a time, Expat Mom wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ExpatMom/~3/405038277/" rel="nofollow">It`s Just Been One of Those Days
Great tribute, Mr. Lady. Core beliefs not withstanding, I think he'll get the message.
Once upon a time, NukeDad wrote..http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Nuclearfamilywarheadcom/~3/403971568/" rel="nofollow">Fruh-Gee-Lee; Must Be Italian
Two discongruent thoughts: I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend. You and his new bride are in my ethereal thoughts.
Were you cruising Westminster mall? My mall of choice? Crossroads.
Once upon a time, Catherine wrote..http://pinkasparag.us/2008/09/29/woogi-world/" rel="nofollow">Woogi World
I'm so sorry. I lost someone I'd been physically intimate with a few years ago. It's an odd thing...But we didn't have the connection you and Tim had...I've had a few Tim's in my life...I'm not sure how I would react if I lost one of them.
I wish I knew where they were now.