I Guess I Won't Be Needing That Shovel After All

We are official 10 days into my mother in law's visit, with 7 left to go, and no one can believe this less than I can, but her visit so far has actually been, oh, what's the word?  Nice?  Easy?  Pleasant?

Dear god, I'm enjoying my visit with my mother in law.  Sign me up for AARP, and make a 4 o'clock reservation at Country Buffet, because I'm one mature old woman comin' atcha.

I got really sick, and then she got really sick, and so my house is a mess and it smells funny.  We laid low this week, but took advantage of the sun last weekend and this weekend to go be tourists.  The very best thing about having company is remembering why you live where you live, don't you think?

I'd didn't even once feel the urge to shove her over the chain link fence. That thing's dinky; I totally could have gotten away with it.

But then I wouldn't have gotten this picture, and I love this picture. And so will 3of3 someday, I'm guessing.

No, I am not spontaneously reproducing beautiful little Indian children; that's my neighbor's kid, and my son's BFF. He rocks seriously. I'd steal him, pho sho.  And I could have framed Gramma for it easily.  She just got back from Africa, he was born in Africa....

On my sickest of sick days, I sent The Donor out with the girls to Chinatown, where I totally resisted the urge to pay someone to slip a little something in her tea.

3of3 wouldn't been smiling half as wide as she is, had I gone ahead with my evil plans, now would she?

I actually stopped before dinner and grated some extra cheese that wasn't covered in the plague.

I didn't even want to shove her into oncoming traffic while we were hanging out on Robson Street downtown.

I let her go look at the Totem Poles with the sane child rather than having a heart attack while the toddler attempted to break every bone in her body.

They seem to be enjoying themselves, wouldn't you say?

And when she got worn out, I actually let her not die of exhaustion and instead sit on the park bench for a rest while we dorked off in the rose garden in Stanley Park.

Okay, I just like that one, is all.

I made certain she stood at a safe distance while the boys practiced their acrobatics, where no errant feet could "accidentally" land on her fragile bones and break her in two, or at least seriously incapacitate her.

Speaking of acrobatics, or circus freaks, or just weirdos, or artists, or kung fu hustlers, or something.

Well, okay then.  Notice how my excessively large steak knife is all the way over on the complete opposite end of the table from her?  It stayed there, all night.

And I didn't even say a word when she put the moves on my man.

This helped things out considerably.

But this helped even more. Like, so much, I can't even tell you.  As it usually does.  See all of Lotus' less incriminating Weekly Winners right here.