;)
Wednesday
Feb042009
Stretch
Wednesday, February 4, 2009 at 1:21AM
Every time my kids (and, I assume, all kids) go through a cognitive leap, they take a few large steps backwards before they jump forwards. I know this, none of it is new, and yet every time it happens, I still find myself totally dismayed and shocked by the whole thing.
We've had a really craptastic month with the three year old. She's been crawling around the house, she's refusing to sleep without a bottle, she managed to find a damn binkie somewhere around here, she's been pointing at things and saying "eeeeehh!" constantly. She's ONE, all over again, only way more annoying.
I know this means something big is about to happen. In my head, it all totally makes sense. I cannot, however, seem to remember this fact, ever, not once in the decade I've had kids, and I always get blindsided by the jump.
Tonight, I laid her down to sleep, with her bottle *shudder* and a little while after I tucked her in, she cried out for me. I went into her room and asked her what she needed. She said, "Momma, I need to use the washroom."
Not, "Momma, I meed go potty." Oh, no, it was a crystal clear, perfect little sentence. I picked her up and carried her to the washroom (my kid is SO Canadian, eh) and she then asked, "Can I have some more milk?" and I said, "No way, dude" and she countered, "How about some water, then?"
None of this is any big deal at all except that she wasn't talking like that two weeks ago. She would have said, "MUK!" and I would have said, "No way, dude" and she would have said, "WA-ER!"
Ladies and gentlemen, my baby has acquired language.
It's not just that, she's also going potty by herself. Maybe your kids go by themselves by three, but my kid demands that I needs me to take her into the washroom, pick her up, pull her bottoms down, sit her on the potty, sit myself on the floor, cover her eyes with my hands and wait until she is done. When she is finished, I then have to fold the toilet paper into thirds, stand her up, pat-pat-pat her bottom (never, ever wipe that kids' bottom. You've been warned. She'll poke your eyeballs out) and then get her bottoms back up.
I abhor taking this kid to the potty. Imagine my surprise when The Donor and I went out on the porch for a smoke (shut up, I know it's killing me) and when we came back in, she was waddling her little butt down the stairs. "Whatcha doing?" I asked and she answered, "I went potty all by myself!"
AND she washed her hands after.
Since then she's kept going by herself, she's wiping, she's going to her room to get her own things, she's picking out and putting on clothes, and she's cleaning up after herself (a little). She lays on her tummy on the couch in the sun by the window and reads her little books. "T-S-O-P, Stop!" I explained to her that she positively had to eat two green beans and a bite of stuffing with dinner last night, that I wasn't taking no for an answer, and she did it. She lets me wash her hair. She's also kicking major ass at Sonic Heroes. She helped me get Tails under some crates and past a level the other day. She's three.
She jumped a full size in clothes overnight. She's started caring what her hair looks like. Her baby fat is almost gone. She can touch the floor when she sits in a chair. She went to bed one night a toddler and woke up the next day a girl.
I am fully aware that there is not one extraordinary thing about any of this. My three year old speaks in proper sentences and can wipe her own ass. She plays in her room and likes video games. Whatever, right? Right. I get it. But it just all sort of happened one day, the way these things do with kids, and I can't remember ever noticing this stuff before. Maybe it's because I had two kids little kids together before, maybe because I worked full time and then had two kids to chase at night and was just too distracted or tired to notice. I'm sure it's all buried in the back of their baby books (hope is more like it) but I cannot remember noticing it like this.
I remember a few months ago looking a a friend's picture of his daughter who is just a few months older than mine, and thinking there was no way they were so close in age. She looked nothing like my child. She was long and lean and grown up, and my kid was round and little. Tonight, I looked at my kid and I saw that same thing I saw in his child. I saw a kid, not a toddler.
I saw my daughter, not my baby, for the first time tonight. She's been here for a while, I suspect, I just forgot she was coming. You wanna know something? I'm pretty sure that my daughter is absolutely lovely.
We've had a really craptastic month with the three year old. She's been crawling around the house, she's refusing to sleep without a bottle, she managed to find a damn binkie somewhere around here, she's been pointing at things and saying "eeeeehh!" constantly. She's ONE, all over again, only way more annoying.
I know this means something big is about to happen. In my head, it all totally makes sense. I cannot, however, seem to remember this fact, ever, not once in the decade I've had kids, and I always get blindsided by the jump.
Tonight, I laid her down to sleep, with her bottle *shudder* and a little while after I tucked her in, she cried out for me. I went into her room and asked her what she needed. She said, "Momma, I need to use the washroom."
Not, "Momma, I meed go potty." Oh, no, it was a crystal clear, perfect little sentence. I picked her up and carried her to the washroom (my kid is SO Canadian, eh) and she then asked, "Can I have some more milk?" and I said, "No way, dude" and she countered, "How about some water, then?"
None of this is any big deal at all except that she wasn't talking like that two weeks ago. She would have said, "MUK!" and I would have said, "No way, dude" and she would have said, "WA-ER!"
Ladies and gentlemen, my baby has acquired language.
It's not just that, she's also going potty by herself. Maybe your kids go by themselves by three, but my kid demands that I needs me to take her into the washroom, pick her up, pull her bottoms down, sit her on the potty, sit myself on the floor, cover her eyes with my hands and wait until she is done. When she is finished, I then have to fold the toilet paper into thirds, stand her up, pat-pat-pat her bottom (never, ever wipe that kids' bottom. You've been warned. She'll poke your eyeballs out) and then get her bottoms back up.
I abhor taking this kid to the potty. Imagine my surprise when The Donor and I went out on the porch for a smoke (shut up, I know it's killing me) and when we came back in, she was waddling her little butt down the stairs. "Whatcha doing?" I asked and she answered, "I went potty all by myself!"
AND she washed her hands after.
Since then she's kept going by herself, she's wiping, she's going to her room to get her own things, she's picking out and putting on clothes, and she's cleaning up after herself (a little). She lays on her tummy on the couch in the sun by the window and reads her little books. "T-S-O-P, Stop!" I explained to her that she positively had to eat two green beans and a bite of stuffing with dinner last night, that I wasn't taking no for an answer, and she did it. She lets me wash her hair. She's also kicking major ass at Sonic Heroes. She helped me get Tails under some crates and past a level the other day. She's three.
She jumped a full size in clothes overnight. She's started caring what her hair looks like. Her baby fat is almost gone. She can touch the floor when she sits in a chair. She went to bed one night a toddler and woke up the next day a girl.
I am fully aware that there is not one extraordinary thing about any of this. My three year old speaks in proper sentences and can wipe her own ass. She plays in her room and likes video games. Whatever, right? Right. I get it. But it just all sort of happened one day, the way these things do with kids, and I can't remember ever noticing this stuff before. Maybe it's because I had two kids little kids together before, maybe because I worked full time and then had two kids to chase at night and was just too distracted or tired to notice. I'm sure it's all buried in the back of their baby books (hope is more like it) but I cannot remember noticing it like this.
I remember a few months ago looking a a friend's picture of his daughter who is just a few months older than mine, and thinking there was no way they were so close in age. She looked nothing like my child. She was long and lean and grown up, and my kid was round and little. Tonight, I looked at my kid and I saw that same thing I saw in his child. I saw a kid, not a toddler.
I saw my daughter, not my baby, for the first time tonight. She's been here for a while, I suspect, I just forgot she was coming. You wanna know something? I'm pretty sure that my daughter is absolutely lovely.
Reader Comments (77)
Can I get a W00T W00T!?!?!
That is so awesome. All of those gains all at once.
Moo has some rather challenging English Literature homework tonight, wanna send her over to give her a hand?
Smootches.
amazing how you turn your back for just a min and they grow at least 2 leaps. fun to watch but a little sad too.
I have a thirteen year old, a two and a half year old and the baby, who's ten months. I am (mostly happily) surprised all the time, too. I can't believe how inherently cool kids are.
xo
b.
Thank you. This post made me stop and think, for the first time maybe in a month, of what is going right instead of potentially what might be wrong with Isobel. And because of it, now I have a whole different perspective to the post I'd planned to write a few hours ago before the exhaustion of Isobel allowed me to crash out with her when putting her to bed.
I like it when you make me think :)
Dude, I had completely forgotten about the large steps backwards thing. NOW I know what has been wrong with Amy (and shut up about the fact that I should have realised that all by myself). Regression? We has it. Now I know I can just power through until she takes the leaps forwards.
Maybe.
And your daughter does sound lovely. Can I borrow her to teach Amy some stuff? Please?
Brilliant. That's fantastic.
I don't like the growing clothes sizes over night thing. My son appears to have done that twice in the last two months. Really need to go get new PJs today. You've reminded me.
Pretty soon she'll also be able to make her own breakfast in the morning; that's when you KNOW you're totally on Easy Street.
Congratulations on the little lady! :)
So true. So true. I love this post.
Eloquently said (even if you did tell us you smoke... seriously?)
BUT... why does she need her eyes covered while she pees? What does she see? Or, did you make stupid faces one time and it freaked her out and so now she'll grow up only being able to use the toilet in complete darkness?
That's what I'm hoping for in the potty-training arena with my 2 year, 8 month old. That one day he'll wake up and just be willing to do it. That's what happened with my 5 year old. You're right. It always takes me by surprise, too!
And that large step backward thing will continue until they're, well, mine are 16 and 13, and I'll have to let you know when it stops.
LOL..how many times I've looked at my kids and was all "when the hell did THAT happen?" "Did I miss something?" "How could I have missed that?"
It's why we have gray hairs...it's why we have wrinkles...We never saw it coming..until it was in our face...
I love kids...
Wow. I had never noticed a link between the regression and the progress. Maybe it's because I have boys...and these two don't exactly make leaps.
Funny how it sneaks up on you even when you've been there, know what it looks like, have full warning its coming ... and yet it catches us by suprise every time.
Have a great week!
~K
I feel this way about chipmunk lately, although I am DEFINITELY still 100% assisting with potty time, including aiming his peener for him. Which is good times, I GUESS. Although I've always wanted to pee at things and it's sort of like using a water gun.
Anyway yeah he's in underwear now (except for "poop diaper" time) and his own bed and he suddenly likes using forks and a spoon and he ate pizza last night without needed me to cut it and overall holy crap! Where did the toddler go?
That is awesome! It's so great when kids make that leap from baby/toddler to real live little kid.
Have fun with your newfound girlie!
I bought new clothes for mine at the beginning of the school year and when she came up this morning I noticed her shirt sleeves are 3 inches too short and the bottom of her shirt just barely meets the top of her pants. I love shopping, but this is rediculous
Kellie
I remember those days....
The days that really got me though were right around their 8th birthdays....when you hug them and they aren't squishy anymore. They actually 'feel' like grown up people.. and it broke my heart.
of course now they get up, dressed AND make their own breakfast so I guess it's a trade off...LOL
Awww... how sweet! It really does creep up on you, doesn't it? It's nice to know that there is an end in sight with potty training though... my 2 1/2 year old is still not using it consistently.
sigh.
Wait, she's wiping? I'm in awe. I am not going to say anything that might embarass my son later, but he still doesn't like going to the bathroom by himself.
It *might* have something to do with the scorpion he saw while peeing one time. Just a guess.
I still cry about the fact that my 6 year old is not a baby any more. Most recently, he asked for a new Wii game. I said no, you just got a bunch of new games for Christmas AND your birthday. You're set on Wii games for a while. His reply? Whatever, Mom, I have my own money. I will ask Daddy to take me to Wal-Mart so I can buy it.
That was a very sweet post! I have an almost three year old and am waiting for the day he'll wipe his own ass!
Dammit, what an awesome post. You totally rock.
And can I just say...my hormones are now screaming for a little girl again. And then my head rushed in and shut that shit DOWN.
Next step...3 going on 13. Wait for it. Mawww-ummm. Puh-leeeeeze.
Wow. That was remarkably written...and a little sad too. Sounds like she's becoming quite a wonderful little girl.
Oh I KNOW.
And somedays I want my baby back.
Mostly, though, I'm thrilled at this new little person who's come to stay.
i think it's because she's #3...because i feel like it's the same with isabella. she went from toddler to GIRL without me realizing it.
I see my nephew doing some of this. Some days I am just astounded by his grasp of language and humor. :-)
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!! Maybe now I can get her to say hi on the phone :) Love u all
You're right, she IS lovely.
Based on your logic, my daughter should be about poised to take a GIGANTIC cognitive leap. In fact, I think it may have happened this morning. While singing along to her favorite morning artist, The Clique Girlz, in the car I noticed something very different at the end of the song. She totally sang a run. I'm talking fully embellished, way up in her falsetto (I didn't even know she HAD a falsetto yet). I completely expected to look at her in her little car seat and see her, eyes closed, one finger holding her left ear shut and the other waving up and down with the music, Aguilera-style. God help us all.
I remember those big jumps - startling and amazing all at once. And, really? I could have cried when my kids figured out how to wipe. Best days of my life, swear to god.
This is why I want another one. (I KNOW what you're gonna say. Dont. Haha) I miss these moments. I sometimes think I MISSED a lot of these moments because seriously, my boy went from baby to little man in the blink of an eye. And I hate that I missed it.
I had a simular smack in the head the other day. My baby needed new bras. She needed them not because hers were old and ratty but she needed a bigger cup size. So now my size 00 (yes double zero, she takes after her dad thank god!) girl has a b-cup chest. My baby has a figure! My husband has been seen recently cleaning his shot gun.
Just to be clear: I cried for joy when they could do it themselves. Considered throwing a party. :-)
Every age my girls are at the time is the age I think is the best. But truly, 4 years old is the best. They're 3 & 4 now, and I can't wait to see what my 3yo is like at 4. They're like mini people. I miss squishy babies, but I don't miss everything else that comes along with them.
I'm all emotional this week and this lil' post is making me all teary. And yes, when the hell does it all happen?? My dude and I talk all the time about how we've seen our kids every. single. day. for their entire life (almost) and they're growing right in front of our eyes and why don't we see it? Yeah overnight. In the middle of the night they change and acquire language and learn how to wipe their own ass and lose their baby fat. It's so wild. Mind-blowing....I can imagine it's tough with the third if it's your last. My third is my baby who is 19 months old and still a baby/toddler. But all this stuff is not so far away - I'm gonna try and keep my eyes OPEN. 'Cause this kid is for sure my last. :-) :-(
I know exactly how you feel, I watered our yukka plant last week and it hasn't died yet!
Dude The Phi did the same thing to me over the summer. It was like "whoa"
Thanks for this. I was just forgetting the back-pedaling. Kiddo is about to be 10. TEN!!!
Fixing hair had to be explained this morning and I had to brush his teeth on Sunday.
I know that you know what is coming. Don't tell me. I'm going to relish my delusion that he'll be a little boy forever.
And I am fully aware that it makes me very strange that it's easier to buy my kid a rifle than his first stick of deodorant.
That's so amazing. And good to know about the leaps backward before forward progress thing because man... I would be ripping out my hair.
Wow, thats A LOT of changes for her! what have you been feeding with that kid???
and you seem totally okay with this??? my baby girl is just 2.5 - and I am so not liking her independence!!! I need anther baby!
Yippee for you and your girl!!
Very momentous! So glad you were able to step back and cherish it. Write about it even. I hate it when the amazing moment passes by and I forget to take it all in and appreciate it. Blink. Then it's gone.
bet you'll miss the baby. how wonderful. and yes, my kid is five, and i still inspect her butt after a potty. she has to ask, "Is my butt clean?" funnier when she does it to my husband. just bends over.....
I hear ya, sister. My "baby" is 3 and I was marvelling, just last night, over how she is allowed to explore and wander the house. That I don't always know where she is, and that's OK with me. I am a much more relaxed parent now than 10 years ago.
i feel the same way about the giant four year old: when did this boy/kid show up? where's the bracelet of chub around his wrist? still, though, he asked me the other day what "pigs are made out of" so i figure we still have a long, long way to go.
Awww that is just to cute!! :)
Must be that time of year. I JUST wrote a post about this happening with my 3 year old son. He literally went from baby to boy overnight. I`m so sad. He`s more than half my height and he`s talking like a grownup! But he still refuses to use the bathroom . . . "No, thanks, Mama. I like my diapers." :P