Monday
Mar232009
Like It's Nineteen Eighty Nine
Monday, March 23, 2009 at 1:50AM | Mr Lady
So, yeah, I turned 15 on Friday.
When I was little, the kids at school thought I didn't have birthdays because I didn't celebrate them. "HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE???" they'd ask in all caps with three question marks after. It made me crazy when people couldn't understand that the event could still happen, even if the party didn't. Apparently, this is just a concept that normal, everyday children are incapable of grasping.
Turns out, that whole situation totally works to my advantage now.
When I turned 19, my father threw a surprise party for me. I still technically wasn't "celebrating" my birthday, but I guess he was sick of waiting. He had his wife's mother invite me over for dinner and when I got there, I walked in to a full blown first birthday party complete with Winnie the Pooh decorations and a 101 Dalmatians cake. That was 15 years ago, so according to all those dirty little bastards on the playground, I am 15.
Which actually sounds kind of horrifying, come to think of it. Maybe I'll just run with 34.
The Donor took me out on Friday and we got our nails did together. If I can ever give any advice to you in life, it's to marry a man who appreciates a good manicure. I'm currently digesting all of my fingernails, so I got a pedicure instead.
Yes, they have teency little flame-throwers behind the bar which they used to ever-so-delicately torch sugar-dipped banana slices. AS A GARNISH. Also, the drink umbrellas come with their very own itty bitty cabana boys. The food was good, really, but not nearly as good as the fact that my oldest son babysat for us so we could go. And kept everyone in one piece. We were home by 10, had Monty Python's Holy Grail on by 10:15 and I was unconscious and drooling all over the couch by 10:30. Which is, oddly enough, exactly how it would have gone if I had actually turned 15.
When I was little, the kids at school thought I didn't have birthdays because I didn't celebrate them. "HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE???" they'd ask in all caps with three question marks after. It made me crazy when people couldn't understand that the event could still happen, even if the party didn't. Apparently, this is just a concept that normal, everyday children are incapable of grasping.
Turns out, that whole situation totally works to my advantage now.
When I turned 19, my father threw a surprise party for me. I still technically wasn't "celebrating" my birthday, but I guess he was sick of waiting. He had his wife's mother invite me over for dinner and when I got there, I walked in to a full blown first birthday party complete with Winnie the Pooh decorations and a 101 Dalmatians cake. That was 15 years ago, so according to all those dirty little bastards on the playground, I am 15.
Which actually sounds kind of horrifying, come to think of it. Maybe I'll just run with 34.
The Donor took me out on Friday and we got our nails did together. If I can ever give any advice to you in life, it's to marry a man who appreciates a good manicure. I'm currently digesting all of my fingernails, so I got a pedicure instead.
They say the Royal Toe is a sign of advanced intelligence. Or inbreeding. One of those two, for sure.
Tanis may be hotter, but I post nicer feet pictures. Not by much, though.
Afterwards, we went out to reallyreally fancy dinner at this place we've had a gift certificate to for almost 2 years now where they make drinks with bruleed bananas as a garnish. (Which I ordered simply to snap a picture for Zoeyjane; excuse us while we giggle to ourselves.)
Yes, they have teency little flame-throwers behind the bar which they used to ever-so-delicately torch sugar-dipped banana slices. AS A GARNISH. Also, the drink umbrellas come with their very own itty bitty cabana boys. The food was good, really, but not nearly as good as the fact that my oldest son babysat for us so we could go. And kept everyone in one piece. We were home by 10, had Monty Python's Holy Grail on by 10:15 and I was unconscious and drooling all over the couch by 10:30. Which is, oddly enough, exactly how it would have gone if I had actually turned 15.
Reader Comments (51)
nice feet.
Today my daughter informed me that I'm no longer allowed to age (though I can still have birthdays), and must stay 28 indefinitely. Which, coincidentally, is what my husband told me on my 22nd birthday. I must not be doing this with much grace.
Now THAT is the best birthday ever.
Well, with one exception. It should have been Life of Brian.
MWAH to your hot self.
My Holy Grail DVD died horribly. I'm still sad about it.
Happy Birthday!
You suck! I want my toes did! You can keep the burned nanner tho...lol
Note to self: next year, send Mr. Lady burnt twigs in an iced cappuccino.
Also: husband may actually be "Mrs. Man".
Is there anything better than an un-birthday dinner and falling asleep to Python? I dare so no!
If only I'd know that was the way not to age. I could have skipped out on birthdays 19-20 and 22-31. I'd be set to head into my 20s again.
Only 15 huh? No offense, but you have not aged well, my friend. You look at least 20 or 25.
Itty bitty cabana boys? I'm in.
Happy b-day.
HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY, MR. LADY!!!
Woo Hoo! Happy 15th Birthday! :o)
Ha - sounds like a perfect evening! :)
~K
I probably mentioned I have a foot fetish.
Oh, great! Use up all of the fun why don't you? What's left for me now on my birthday; a large combo meal at Sonic and Season 2 of Knight Rider on DVD? Maybe Sonic will dip the cherry in bacon grease before they put it in my soda.
Happy Birthday fellow March goddess!
My second toe is also longer than the big one. Holy shit, we're twins!
"It's merely a flesh wound!" Best movie.
Love the drink shot. so nice to indulge in a crazy drink like that. Oh, the good old days...
its so hard (it's better when it's hard!) to keep you both separate...
HeLp.... I'm having a 'moment'....
Celebrate the DAY... forget the NUMBER....
Any day you spend ABOVE the ground... is a day to celebrate !
xox
Just Meee~
Woohoo! I'm with ya Sistah! We went out on Saturday for hubby's birthday and LEFT THE KIDS HOME ALONE w/ our just-turned-12-yr-old. The $$ saved on babysitting came in handy for a nicer bottle of wine! Yahooo!
Happy Birthday Mr. Lady! I totally agree with Just Meee though. Celebrate the day and forget the number. I try not to remember how old I am...that way when I act like a kid I can get away with saying, "What?" when people look at me like I've lost my mind.
Well, you DID have a good time, right? And man, isn't your husband sweet!
But seriously, you had me cracking up at "currently digesting my fingernails".
I'm pretty sure my mom intentionally spaced her kids in such a way that the older ones could babysit when she wanted to go out with my dad. Of course, now that my youngest brother is 12, I have a captive babysitter, so it works to my advantage too. Ha!
Happy birthday!
If I had to choose an age in which to repeat every-single-year, I don't know if it would be 15. I had braces, high hair, and wore blue eyeshadow... not any of my finer moments.
Happy 34th Birthday! Love that your hubby went with you to get a pedicure! Uber fun - and oh so sexy!
Shuddering over being 15 again... NO THANKS.
Glad you had a good day. But please don't post any more foot pictures today. I have issues with feet, no matter how "pretty" they may look. In fact, I did a post about flip flops, once... Then again, I tried to combat my foot issues by writing a whole post from the persona OF my feet.
I obviously need to speak with someone about this...
Awesome feet you have there - and happy happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
Ok-- the right foot is not bad, but in the name of all that is holy, what is going on with that left foot? Stick with the face shots, Mr. Lady. Or more strategically placed boot shots...
And Happy Birthday to all of your toes, royal or not!
I've missed reading WIMSC everyday... no more tooth extractions, computer problems, whathaveyou. Let's talk about my needs.
happy birthday!!!!!
i hate feet.
happy birthday!!!!!
OMG! $37 a plate (i guess it's canadian though)! The donor does not skimp.
I'm going with the inbreeding thing...
That was the best 15th birthday ever! I am pretty sure the only thing I got for my 15th was felt up and an ice cream cake.
It smells like bananas in here. And feet.
How teeny tiny are we talking about - those cabana boys? Tiny enough that a loin cloth would actually be a bratz' doll's bandana? Okay, now I'm really disturbed. I'm happy you got some metrosexual pampering. Ahem. Now, if only 1 of 3 was up for babysitting a lot more often, so we could go get hosed.
I mean. Sip wine in a classy establishment whose menu is ripe with adjectives.
Yeah dude 34 sounds waaaayyyy better than 15 to me too.
Bananas and feet and itty bitty cabana boys....hmmmmm.
I kinda got a little warm and fuzzy feeling when you told me about that first birthday party of yours with Winnie the Pooh decor and that Dalmatians cake....am I so wrong for feeling that way??
Happy birthday!
Ooooh. I love West. Yum.
Happy 15th!
Sounds like the perfect birthday.
...except for the whole "feet" thing...
...and the banana-drink thing...
...and the drooling thing.
But otherwise...awesome!!
Happy Birthday and congrats on the night out.
Happy birthday to the never-aging! I just keep telling people that I don't celebrate my birthday anymore, instead we celebrate anniversaries of my 21st. Works for me.
mmmm brulee banana's...was the drink as tasty? Happy Birthday :)
I'm going to tell Country-Fried Daddy I want his and hers manicures for my birthday this year. His reaction should make for a pretty good story.
Happy birthday to you!
Happy Birthday my darlin. From your, erm, slightly older sister?
if i was there i could have taken you out for dinner too and worn my nice perfume....or the one that smells like soil, depending upon who you speak with. happiest of b-days my dearest.
cheers!
sweet baby jeebus, the best part of the story is hearing that 1of3 was actually able to babysit.
and suckit on the brueleed banana garnish
Isn't a manicure one of those things that guys are doing with each other now, like bromance or fella-brations? I dunno. But that smoldering banana thing sounds yummy.
Sounds like a lovely BD! And I think your feet are adorable. And I'm drooling over the menu . . .
Ha. I took Solar Dancer to get Pedicures for her last birthday. I think I enjoyed it more than she did. You can't beat that coarse lotion leg and foot rub. It scratches sooooo good ;)
Hee. My man & I get pedicures together a time or few per year. It's awesome!
Those look like the SAME feet Tanis posted... god they still creep me out. ET Phone Home... LOL
I already gave you a shout on the FB, but happy Bday.
Funny stuff mr.lady...never a dual moment in your life! :) At least both trips are under the rug for the year, and 3of3 doesn't have to be tugged around with her older brothers...at least it looked like she had fun, and maybe learned a lil something too! Rock On!
I covet Helen Mirren's boobs so much that I'd just like to be in the same room with them. Do you think if I asked nicely and ensured her that my motives were entirely nonsexual that she would let me touch them?
Probably not.
The toenails, on the other hand...is it bad to scrub your eyeballs with Brillo?