Monday
Mar302009
I Still Have Nightmare About Those Earwigs
Monday, March 30, 2009 at 1:25AM | Mr Lady
I have relatively healthy children. They've had their share of scares, don't get me wrong, but they tend to skip the little stuff. It's go big or go home over here. They've broken their feet and their faces, they've had their brains spilled out all over gyms, they've had collapsed lungs and blunt force trauma concussions, but they don't get colds all that often.
They do, however, get that 8-3 bug that only seems to strike school-aged children between the months of September and June. They get that one fairly frequently, truth be told.
Anyway, we've got a piper down over here. She was sick on Thursday, but though she's been rocking some green 11's since, she's felt fine. She's been to the Ikea playground three days in a row (more on that later), she was well enough that I could leave her with her brothers to babysit and go meet Mandy Gratton (also, later) and she's had Beach Boys dance parties with her daddy. She's been great, actually, until about 7 tonight. One second she was playing with her brother and the next second, the ache was wiggling out.
"Momma," she said, "the ache is wiggowing out."
And then she clutched her ear and started screaming. And then I flashed back to Wrath of Khan, clutched my ears and started screaming. And then we ran to the late-hours clinic that was open until 8, made it there by 7:40 and were greeted by a great big purple sign that read, "We're closed; no exceptions. We're not an emergency room."
I am not kidding.
We came home, and she cried all the way because Momma, the doctor have to make it better. I told her the doctor was closed and we'd have to go back tomorrow and she cried some more and said, "No, you just go open the doctor, momma." And through clenched teeth I said, "Yes, dear, I certainly would like to go open the doctor right about now, but how about we go eat ice cream instead?" We watched Backyardigans right over prime time tv, she tried and failed to eat something and right now Stinky McSweatypants is passed out in my bed. Chances are good we will end up at the emergency room some time tonight, thanks to the clinic with the clock that rounds up, even though aches wiggowing out do not emergencies make.
They do pathetically cute little kids make, though.
They do, however, get that 8-3 bug that only seems to strike school-aged children between the months of September and June. They get that one fairly frequently, truth be told.
Anyway, we've got a piper down over here. She was sick on Thursday, but though she's been rocking some green 11's since, she's felt fine. She's been to the Ikea playground three days in a row (more on that later), she was well enough that I could leave her with her brothers to babysit and go meet Mandy Gratton (also, later) and she's had Beach Boys dance parties with her daddy. She's been great, actually, until about 7 tonight. One second she was playing with her brother and the next second, the ache was wiggling out.
"Momma," she said, "the ache is wiggowing out."
And then she clutched her ear and started screaming. And then I flashed back to Wrath of Khan, clutched my ears and started screaming. And then we ran to the late-hours clinic that was open until 8, made it there by 7:40 and were greeted by a great big purple sign that read, "We're closed; no exceptions. We're not an emergency room."
I am not kidding.
We came home, and she cried all the way because Momma, the doctor have to make it better. I told her the doctor was closed and we'd have to go back tomorrow and she cried some more and said, "No, you just go open the doctor, momma." And through clenched teeth I said, "Yes, dear, I certainly would like to go open the doctor right about now, but how about we go eat ice cream instead?" We watched Backyardigans right over prime time tv, she tried and failed to eat something and right now Stinky McSweatypants is passed out in my bed. Chances are good we will end up at the emergency room some time tonight, thanks to the clinic with the clock that rounds up, even though aches wiggowing out do not emergencies make.
They do pathetically cute little kids make, though.
Reader Comments (49)
awwww..... poor darling,
Status Update:
As of 12:37 am, still asleep and doing well.
Lets hope she makes it through to morning then. Ear aches are the pits.
My kids had chronic ear infections when they were about her age... they suck for everyone. I hope she is better very soon.
Oh man, I can so feel her pain. I hope she got some rest and your able to get to the DR this morning. Ear aches are worse than giving birth (at least mine were), I kid you not!
Missy
Oh the poor sweet thing!
(Oh GOD must take out my brain and wash it now. Jesus. Just when I'd FINALLY forgotten that scene......)
I hope you managed to stay home and you get to go to your own doctor today. ER's are not fun under any circumstances.
Awww, Dash was sick on Friday and I spent the entire day laying on the couch with him, rubbing his back, and giving him ice cream. I'm a wuss like that.
I can imagine the dread as you went to the urgent care only to see the heartless staff had not only skipped out early, but had the nerve to leave a testy note. I hope you guys at least got through the night.
My 6yo just got tubes...I had no clue he was having ear problems until Thanksgiving day he said, "Mommy, my ear hurts when I burp." The next day I asked him if his ear still hurt and he said, "Umm, lemme see **BUUURRRPPPP** yea, it still hurts."
Tell her not to burp. lol Poor kid!
Poor little thing! I have found with those clinics, unless your kid's "urgency" coincides with the opening of the clinic, you have little chance of actually seeing anyone. Sucks!!
Yeow. Hope all is better by now. Earaches are horrrrrrible. Once my son came to me late at night wearing two hats to try to "trap out the ache."
That sign on the clinic might have made me pull out my Sharpie to leave a little note of my own.
Hope everything is better now.
Happy Birthday?
Poor little baby! (Your daughter, not you!) Girl I have had ear infections do that. One minute is doesn't hurt, the next it feels like someone is sticking an ice pick in your ear. That shit hurts!
Hopefully you didn't spend the night in the ER. I HATE the ER and will avoid it unless someone has to be taken by Ambulance, cause here, I've heard of people waiting for seven freaking hours!!!!!!
Hate ear aches! I'd like to open up drs that round up too, if you know what I'm saying.
Feeling better little one.
The Phi says "if you stay as close to you Momma as humanly possible you will start to feel better. That always makes me feel better".
hahahaaha!! A PIPER DOON!!!
off to finish your post...
So what's the frigging point of these late-hour clinics that always close an hour before your kid starts screaming with an earache, a tummyache, or a fill-in-the-blank ache? I thought the healthcare system (at least here in the States) wanted to actively discourage people from using the ERs for anything other than bonafide emergencies. So give us some viable options to take our kids at 11:00 on a Friday night so they're not screaming in agony all night or all weekend because its a nonemergency and the doctor doesn't open until Monday morning, in which case he can get you in maybe Wednesday afternoon at the earliest.
Aw, poor baby, and poor mama, too.
Poor little peanut. I hope she's better today.
I clutched my ears in sympathy - I'm so sorry kid.
And you got to hang with Mandy Gratton - f**k, to have both of you in the same room without anyone holding you by force, is a dream of mine. That sounded way more psycho than I meant it to be.
Been there, done that (and then some); hoping little one is better.
Ek. I totally feel her pain. I woke up with an ear ache yesterday morning (on a Sunday). Yes, I'm an "adult," but for some dang reason I'm still getting ear infections. I think my ear drum ruptured and I can't hear out of my ear, but I didn't have to go to the emergency room.
She sure is cute though.
awww. that's too bad. i hope she feels better soon and the ache just wiggows out of her body sometime soon. my kids get sick a lot. i have had to explain that to the school. hang in there, no fun for momma either.
Okay dude - you must tell me what the diagnosis is because it sounds like she ruptured her ear drum which is EXACTLY what happened to my 4-year-old like one month ago!!! And that pain was intense! I feel for her and you.
If that is the case or in any case, I hope she's on some drugs to get her feeling better and maybe an extra dose for mommy too. :-)
I was a sick kid growing up. Missed 28 days in the 5th grade. 2 days away from being held back. I feel her pain.
Dude, I totally thought you were going to say she had an earwig in her ear. I was going to DIE. Thankfully, I can live.
Hope she feels better!
I knew a guy once that had a moth or something in his ear. That was pretty fun to watch as it literally did try to wiggle out. The best part of which included his friends being too high to take it seriously and so suggested that he hold his ear up to the light - cuz the moth would be attracted to it?
This has almost no relation to your story, but you really opened the door with the Khan reference. The door to miscellany, that is.
Aww, poor baby. Ear aches are no fun. :( I hope she feels better soon!
Can you please confirm that it is not, in fact, some type of ear worm?
This is going to bug me until I know for sure.
Every good blog must, at some point, reference The Wrath of Khan. And those earwigs/bugs still give me nightmares!
So glad you made it out though. I can't believe you did it when 3of3 was so sick!
Ack, the flashbacks! Both the movie and the earaches were banes of more than one childhood night. Hope she feels better soon!
Thats why they should change the term from healthcare to health-kind-of-really-do-not-care. I wonder how much it would cost just to keep a doctor on full time at the house? He could cook and do some light housework too. Might be worth it.
poor lil one...peanut has tubes in her ears because of chronic ear infections. Right now the lil misfit is sicky, and one of the tubes is blocked...I feel ya sister.
Every time my wife has a stomach ache, I always ask her if she remembers "Alien".
I'm chomping at the bit waiting to use that on my kids... I figure six is old enough, right?
You said 'earwigs' and all I could think about durring your post is, 'Khaaaaaaaaan!'
Ok, got through it the second time with minimal brushing of the ear against my shoulder in creepy horror. You really know how to freak a ninja out.
Aww, poor thing. I actually made a trip to the ER with my little guy last night for an ear infection. Except his description of it was more like, "OW! Mommy! OWWWWWW!" followed by four hours of screaming in my ear. But then he's only 20 months old. He can't say cute things like "Wiggowing".
Ears are like teeth - totally overrated and should not arrive until the children are ten or so.
poor baby.
good mama.
bad, bad doctor.
Ear infections can suck it. Gage spent the first year and a half of his life on antibiotics and there were nights I cried harder than he did.
I hope she feels better soon!
Awww, poor sweetheart. There's nothing more pathetically sweet than a sick 3.5 yo girl. I should know - I have one too. Not actively sick as of the moment....fingers crossed. Hang in there....hope she's feeling better soon.
poor baby ... hope she gets better soon.
as a person who gets very bad earaches all the gorram time (especially living in cold, wet Seattle) I have a little advice on earaches and if you would like to know them please just ask. Soem of them suck bigtime but they work.
I've lived through this; hell, I'm STILL living through it. I have tubes in my ears right now, just like a 5 year old. It's the only thing that saves me. There's no pain anymore though, not much, anyway. All of the nerve endings in my ears died back in the 70's. I hope she feels better, and I hope you kick some serious late night clinic ass.
ehhhh crap, that's terrible. Give her a kiss for me. =( Hope you getting better news today.
Ha! Wrath of Kahn. I live with a *very rational* fear of earwigs because of that same movie! Seriously, though: I hope your little one feels better soon : )
I used to get ear infections constantly, and they'd come on in less than a day. From fine to screaming in pain. So, I wouldn't worry about not knowing.
reminds me of when i had both eardrums rupture in the middle of the night. i was crying and screaming for my mommy, waiting for her to come make the pain go away. i just KNEW she could hear me cuz my baby sis was in my room and we had a baby monitor. finally, after what seemed like years i drug myself across the house into my parents room. "mommy, i've been crying and screaming for you! why didn't you come?!" she'd turned the monitor off hoping i would play "mommy" to the baby so she could get some sleep. HA! i blew that plan outta the water. off to the emergency room we go.
hope the adorably cute, pathetic one is already well by the time you read this :)
This is too funny: I Still Have Nightmare About Those Earwigs http://t.co/3mixI8a via @mrlady