Tuesday
Mar312009
Hey There, Delilah
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 1:55AM | Mr Lady
Folks, we have a raging ear infection. A bright red, oh yeah that kid needs antibiotics, mom ear infection. Which means she's had it for a while, which is funny only because it wasn't bothering her before yesterday and it didn't bother her all that much today. But still, there it is and while I was trying to figure out where the hell she caught an ear infection because if my kid is going to be sick, someone's taking the fall for it, while I was trying to find a way to blame the petri dish that certainly is Small-land at Ikea, I realized that I knew exactly why she had contracted her first ear infection now, three and a half years into having functioning ears.
17 years of hardcore religious study, 17 years of reading the bible over and over and over again, front to back, cover to cover, were apparently totally fucking wasted on me.
There hath not come a razor upon mine head; for I have been a Nazarite unto God from my mother's womb: if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man. Judges 16:17
And she made him sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head; and she began to afflict him, and his strength went from him. Judges 16:19
She hasn't had a haircut in more than two years. Two days after I chop off 2/3 of her hair, just about ALL of her curls, she gets sick. Clearly, not even a cookie as big as her head could ward off the wrath of the Lord.
But is sure was delicious. And possibly worth it.
17 years of hardcore religious study, 17 years of reading the bible over and over and over again, front to back, cover to cover, were apparently totally fucking wasted on me.
There hath not come a razor upon mine head; for I have been a Nazarite unto God from my mother's womb: if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man. Judges 16:17
And she made him sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head; and she began to afflict him, and his strength went from him. Judges 16:19
She hasn't had a haircut in more than two years. Two days after I chop off 2/3 of her hair, just about ALL of her curls, she gets sick. Clearly, not even a cookie as big as her head could ward off the wrath of the Lord.
But is sure was delicious. And possibly worth it.
Reader Comments (47)
Fun times.
Long Time Reader, First Time Writer...
Ear infections suck! My nearly 2 year old DS is having that issue right now! I feel your pain...
And if it makes you feel better.. New Zealand doctors also seem to wind their clocks forward as well.
Wishing little miss a speedy recovery, for her sake and yours!
I hate ear infections! But I seriously doubt that God is raining his wrath upon you for cutting her hair!
After my first haircut, my grandmother was holding me when she noticed. After a brief pause for shock, she began to shake me violently, shouting, "Who cut your hair?!? Who cut your hair?!?" as my head wobbled about until my aunt took me away from her lest I suffer (even more) brain damage.
Haircuts can be dangerous.
My 5 year old son looked over at that last picture and said, "Now THAT'S what I call a big cookie!".
Shouldn't have cut off them cute ass curls!
Oh man. Hope she's ok. I love the words "raging ear infection." Makes you feel SO observant, doesn't it?
Wow, I have never heard of an infection to be caused by haircuts. That is a good cookie, I know it well. Mmm Mmm Tasty!
Reason #42 that I'm never cutting my own hair again. Or washing it. (But that's a whole other story.)
love invisible ear infections. i am the queen of making my kids suffer cuz i'm clueless like that.
good times. good times.
That freaking old testament will get you every time.
Ball land at IKEA?!?! Avoid it like the plague! (cuz that's probably in there too!) I'm sure the bible has some reference to the plague and avoiding IKEA...
Are those the Crackadamia cookies?
Without or without all that hair, she's still adorable!
Ugh, I used to get ear infections all the time when I was little, they are no fun. I hope she feels better soon! BTW, where can I get me one of those fabulous head sized cookies?
BWAAAAHAHAHA! Love it. :) Sorry you're dealing with ear infections though. That is a pain in the rear. We've most definitely been there.
Man. I have to admit I read this over a few times. The first two times through I thought you had completely wigged out and were cutting her hair AFTER she got sick...you know, to help her get rid of the ear infection.
I get it now though. Glad to see that you still have at least a few grains of sanity left.
Ahh.. Now I understand why God has it in for me..
PS.. Hope she feels better soon.
PSS.. That cookie looks AMAZING.
Oh man Mr. Lady... that is pretty funny, no? Timing, heh.
Love the new cut. She is so stinking beautiful. But you already know that.
Lucie comes down with an ear infection every time she gets a bath. I wonder if she and 3of3 caught it from each other back when they used to hang out together and go for walks?
I try never to eat cookies smaller than my head. Had hers been a little bigger I think it would have kept that ear infection away. The Lord is nothing compared to a ginormous cookie.
A cookie that big is worth just about anything. Hell, I'd shave my head for that cookie right about now.
Oh fun, there's nothing worse than ear infections! Hope she feels better soon.
But her hair is soooo cute now! And how sweet of her to sit still!!! there are some kids I want to JAB IN THE EAR with an icepick when I cut their hair...but 3of3 looks like a perfect little lady!
There is nothing worse than ear infections! I used to get them all the time as a kid, and I still do.... they feel like your entire BRAIN is infected as well as your ear! Poor kiddo, I hope she feels better!
Man she's cute.
If I get sick and shave my head, can I have a big cookie too?
I think the word 'smite' comes in there somewhere. She, her cookie and new coif are delicious.
Oh, but how beautiful is she with that new 'do. Totally worth it. (And I know from extensive experience how much ear infections suck the big one.)
Sigh, that's lame... not the ear infection, the cutting of the curls! heh
That'll learn ya.
reason #427,803 of WHY I am glad I have never read the Bible.
Best I get a dose of antibiotics for Boo, he needs a haircut.
Or maybe Ninja. Yeah, ninja would be way betterer.
So, just after midnight last night (this morning?), I woke up with a stabbing pain in my left ear. STABBING, I tell you. Then, my brain started itching. Well, maybe it wasn't my brain, maybe it was my eardrum. But let me tell you, it's a damned good thing there wasn't a pencil or a stick nearby, because I would have shoved that sucker into my ear to scratch my...eardrum? Brain? Stirrup/hammer thingie?
And now that I've made this comment all about me (although, y'know, that invisible tie thing between your house and me?...think about it...is it her left ear?), I hope she feels better soon!
when you get her hair cut let me know how you did it! I have a lil one who needs their hair cut. lol :)
Wow dude what are you doing up there for your kids to never get any ear infections?? Mine have had their share and then that ear drum rupture like a month ago OUT. OF. THE. BLUE. And come to think of it, my 4-year-old got her hair majorly cut TOO! But hmmmm...the hair cut was after the rupture. BUT it could be related still - somehow..
And Mr. Lady quoting the Bible....that was actually very very intriguing....I kinda liked it. :-)
Oh no! Poor little lady. Feel better! (And, I smite you Asshat Pharmacy Clinic for closing early and not helping a mom and kid in need).
The Lapsed Catholic in me instantly regretted the smiting. I take it back and instead shake my fist really, really angrily! (Though they're still Asshats)
My son used to get ear infections all the time. Finally put tubes in his ears. Felt so badly for the little guy.
I remember being completely paranoid about ear infections when Miss D. was a baby. TWICE paid $40 to have a doctor tell me she had "found her ears." Now that Belly is "finding her ears," I'm trying not to freak out and head for the doctor's office every other day.
So sorry your little one is sick, but that haircut sure is cute.
I agree with you that they are directly related.
God is a sneaky bastard.
You're damn skippy it was worth it. I'd let you chop off my hair and face a raging infection, as long as I could have that cookie.
blue - no, red - ahhhh!
yeah, first comment, finally delurking.
I've had 12 years of bible learnin', and I didn't recognize any of those... must be the lack of 'smite', 'begat', and 'vanquish'.
she's beautiful... hope she's doing better soon.
Wow! That is one good looking cookie! I'd shave my head for a cookie that big. Ok, no I wouldn't, but I would shave my husband's and son's heads for it! I hope the little cutie feels better soon!
Your dot connecting skillz. I bow down to.
Dude.
I CAN NOT get over the stylist's NAILS.
ROFL.
Your girl is even cuter with a gigunda cookie.
I thought the Lord was always calmed by the presence of cookies. As for haircuts, Mia's in the same boat. Refuses to have her hair cut. Even an eighth of an inch.
Bribe her with goldfish. Worked for me. (Just don't kill them this time.)
That poor thing. Did you wait for the doctor or did you end up going to the ER? She is so freaking cute.