The White Pants: A Follow-up
Tuesday, April 14, 2009 at 7:07PM | Mr Lady Yesterday, Mr. Lady talked about her white pants fiasco. In my comment, I suggested that she planned to make a handstand and make herself look like a giant bunny.
Later that day, she emailed me and said that they were actually her pajama pants, and that no bunny imitation was intended. I replied that I was maintaining my bunny theory. I further replied that if I had a photo of her I would demonstrate what I meant in my comment.
This is the first photo she sent me:
"Wait, aren't you a blonde?" I asked.
"Fuck," came the one word reply. "Please to hold."
(Please to hold? Really? WTF language is that?)
Next, she sent me this:
"Uhm, very nice. However, I believe the point of this was that you mentioned white pants."
"So?"
"So please send me a photo of you in pants."
Next, she sent me this, demonstrating her lack of comprehension of the english language:
everyone sing with me, "Keep trying... keep trying... don't give up... never give up..."
"Sweet merciful zombie Jesus what the hell is that? I said in pants, not getting into pants!"
"Oh."
Eventually, she sent me this:
at this point, the Donor is thinking to himself, "pfft... if that was even possible, I'd be hitting it like that anal gymnast video" (aside: google anal handstand to see what he's referring to)
"Wow, that's pretty impressive."
"Thanks. It, uh, took so long because I had to run out to that majestic cliff and wait for the sun to get to just the right spot before I could take that picture."
"I see."
Finally, I was able to demonstrate what I meant:
And that's why Mr. Lady wore white pants late at night in front of drunk homeless people.
SciFi Dad writes a blog called Tales From The Dad Side, where he usually writes about more serious stuff than this. In fact, he would never allow something like this to soil his blog and instead offered it as a guest post here.
Reader Comments (29)
Oh jesus that good shit.
I may have just pee'd my pants.. don't tell anyone.
Kelley should have trademarked the whole "Zombie Jesus" name.
And where the hell did she get that pic of me tryin to zip my pants??? I thought I deleted that one!
I always wondered what white pants were for....
The Girls Next Door got nothin' on you!
Wow, you are really a chamelion (sp?). Great guest post SciFi Dad.
Note to self: Never EVER google something at the behest of SciFi Dad again.
SciFi Dad - please to hold is perfectly awesome language. why for you do not know this?
Wow. I leave town for TWO DAYS and geez.
Way to out-awesome me once again. Jackass.
This is totally hilarious. I mostly just try to wear white pants when I go to amusement parks with small children (excellent for water rides and for having little ones sit on your lap eating drippy ice cream cones). But the cliffside handstand is a nice idea too.
Note to self - and everyone else. Never Google anything SciFi suggests if it includes "anal." Never. Google...Holy hell!
@monstermash40: it's a lesson everyone needs to learn
@Mr. Lady: given your response, I made the right choice in going with the censored (less awesome) version?
Hilarious! Simply hilarious.
She looks exactly as I always pictured she would....
You gotta put some kind of pre-warning before the "I think I can" pic. I tasted a little vomit when I saw that and of course, I was eating Mike and Ike's so that made me feel good about my caloric intake!
You censored yourself on MY blog? Clearly, you don't know me as well as I thought you did. ;-)
*snort*
I love that picture. It looks so "real". And man, that fat lady is freaking scary. Look at that face! ;-)
Okay, as instructed, I googled anal handstand and this blog is the first thing that came up!
This would be why I do not own white pants.
And then I just had to google handstand as instructed.
Ah.
And then Mr F came home early and wondered WHY I was googling that.
Perhaps (he hoped?) to make up for the hole I made earlier in the kitchen ceiling. With my thumb. It's been a long day (already) chez Mrs F.
Before you do any more cliff-top poses, Mr Lady, I beg you to read http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/devon/7996447.stm
I'd hate to see it happen to you...
Too funny. SciFi Dad, I've upgraded you from funniest blog commenter out there to best damn guest blogger around!
Just lovin' Robina's comment there, thanks.
i was at the grocery store and i thought of the original post and it made me get a big smile on my face about the drunk guys thinking you're fat. i'm sure i looked like a crazy lady. there's no hope for me then. PS, I love white pants.
Uuuuuuh you guys have far too much spare time on your hands these days!
This is my first time here today...you're great!
Freakin' Hillarious!
wait. that was the censored version???
why do i have to be a google addict? Never again.. Ok no i will next time too, but :O ..
Dang, I'm so jealous. Everytime I try to look at the pictures all I get is little squares with x's inside boo me :-(