;)
Tuesday
May122009
It's Not a Black and White World
Tuesday, May 12, 2009 at 1:53AM
I'm not one to make a huge fuss about mother's day, for a few reasons, the biggest one being that I am not the mother of the person who'd ultimately have to go all out to make the magic happen. I usually just cook breakfast crepes and then open my presents that the kids made me in class. And anything else that might happen to show up.
2008; that was a nice year. *ahem* And then The Donor goes to work in the afternoon and the kids and I watch some wholy inappropriate movie before bed.
It works for us.
I could tell you all about how the actual mother of the guy who'd ultimately have to go all out to make the magic happen was with us for Mother's Day, and that same guy had to go into work at 10 in the morning. And that she had to board a cruise ship at one to get on her way to Alaska for the summer, so all my plans got delayed. And how it turned out that only her bags had to be checked by one and we had until three together. And how my head almost exploded.
But I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that because of this, we had time for a lunch by the fountains and some serious discussions in past and future tense.
And I could tell you how I let her live and as luck would have it, we managed to survive just long enough for everyone to still be completely die-ablely adorable for one last fucking picture that I was taking dammit and you'd better smile, so help me god.
Four out of five isn't half bad. But, of course, I'd need to point out that the camera I was hiding behind all day was shiny and new and started in a D and ended in an SLR and was almost more fun than the can of cool whip from the year before. Almost.
And I suppose I could tell you that the suddenly less cute than before video store guy still charged me $34 for my overdue movies even though it was Mother's Day and that I decided to plant flowers rather than go to the grocery store for dinner stuff to make it all better. And then I could tell you that The Donor and I got into our Annual Fight over the fact that he'd actually wanted to cook me dinner when he came home from work and couldn't because I was covered in mud and worms and fertilizer and our fridge was covered in cobwebs and tumbleweeds.
But then I'd have to add that he ended up taking all of us out to dinner at 7pm on a school night and we had a really good time and I had a really good margarita.
Until 3of3 decided throw her face at the cobblestone sidewalk, and oh how she succeeded.
And I could tell you that the night ended with her screaming herself to sleep and the boys fighting until they passed out and The Donor crashing out on the couch, but the truth is that he woke up and gave me something in addition to the camera that had come this week, something that had just been cut that day.
And also something that had been cut way back in the year we'd first met.
Which is disgustingly romantic and made me a very happy momma, indeed. Mission accomplished.
2008; that was a nice year. *ahem* And then The Donor goes to work in the afternoon and the kids and I watch some wholy inappropriate movie before bed.
It works for us.
I could tell you all about how the actual mother of the guy who'd ultimately have to go all out to make the magic happen was with us for Mother's Day, and that same guy had to go into work at 10 in the morning. And that she had to board a cruise ship at one to get on her way to Alaska for the summer, so all my plans got delayed. And how it turned out that only her bags had to be checked by one and we had until three together. And how my head almost exploded.
But I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that because of this, we had time for a lunch by the fountains and some serious discussions in past and future tense.
I could tell you how everyone got sick and tired of me hiding behind my camera preserving the moment in pictures and right as this one turned to tell me to knock it off in exactly those words, right in the middle of my goddamn picture, I realized that there was a clean and easy way out of this whole Motherfucker's Day debacle. And then I read the sign.
And I could tell you how I let her live and as luck would have it, we managed to survive just long enough for everyone to still be completely die-ablely adorable for one last fucking picture that I was taking dammit and you'd better smile, so help me god.
Four out of five isn't half bad. But, of course, I'd need to point out that the camera I was hiding behind all day was shiny and new and started in a D and ended in an SLR and was almost more fun than the can of cool whip from the year before. Almost.
And I suppose I could tell you that the suddenly less cute than before video store guy still charged me $34 for my overdue movies even though it was Mother's Day and that I decided to plant flowers rather than go to the grocery store for dinner stuff to make it all better. And then I could tell you that The Donor and I got into our Annual Fight over the fact that he'd actually wanted to cook me dinner when he came home from work and couldn't because I was covered in mud and worms and fertilizer and our fridge was covered in cobwebs and tumbleweeds.
But then I'd have to add that he ended up taking all of us out to dinner at 7pm on a school night and we had a really good time and I had a really good margarita.
Until 3of3 decided throw her face at the cobblestone sidewalk, and oh how she succeeded.
And I could tell you that the night ended with her screaming herself to sleep and the boys fighting until they passed out and The Donor crashing out on the couch, but the truth is that he woke up and gave me something in addition to the camera that had come this week, something that had just been cut that day.
And also something that had been cut way back in the year we'd first met.
Which is disgustingly romantic and made me a very happy momma, indeed. Mission accomplished.
Reader Comments (46)
That surely bought him the next three Mother's Days' worth of free pass.
PS. You did wicked things with that camera, by god.
See, I’m not reading this post. I’m working straight off the pictures.
Cool whip and flowers? Yeah, buddy. Who hasn’t cool whipped. I get it.
Bottle of intensely wonderful Cab at the end? I got it.
Good start, good end.
Nice work. All of you.
I love throwing myself face-first at the sidewalk. It's always good fun.
You know that as long as she leaves you alive, she's always coming back, right?
How dare he?!? ;)
Score one for the donor. Flowers, check, but I've never done the vintage wine thing. That's cool.
Just grand.
For a second, I thought that you said he woke up and gave you "something that had just been cut the other day" and was referring to the vasectomy. Which made me laugh.
Happy Mother's Day to you!!! But, praytell, why is The Donor in a tux?
Holy Shizz.
Let me just say that I am dying. A camera, Joseph Phelps and a margarita? You are living my dream life, lemme tell ya.
I'm jealous, baby. Jealous.
Happy Mother's Day, love. I tried to text you to tell you that but it kept bouncing back to me and I'd had too much wine by then to figure out what I finally figured out the next day, which is that I was actually texting your home phone. (It's the thought that counts, right?)
omg yay! welcome to SLR world... it's so fab, isn't it??
adorable family my dear, and your photoshop skills are great!
:) happy day!
I hear great stuff about that Sony DSLR! I can't wait to watch your flickr account with that baby in your hands.
Love that shot of MIL, Donor, & of3s!
The 'throw objects over the rail' sign had me laughing my ass off. Oh how I would KILL to have a sign like that of my mother-in-law.
But she lives in a 'clothing optional community' and therefore ANY photos of her must be burned immediately to ensure the grandkids never experience what we have. Ick.
That family shot is awesome. Great composition: I'm loving how the lines all point to the middle of the family. You should be in that shot too. Talk about photoshop skills-- let's see it!
our fridge was covered in cobwebs and tumbleweeds.
Now that is an image that is burned into my skull. The best thing about not being 20 anymore is having a well stocked fridge.
I want your camera.
The man is brilliant. Honoring the year you met. I'm going to go buy Dr. Dre's "Chronic 2001" for next year's mothers day.
It's like that sign is daring you to chuck her ass over the rail. DYING laughing.
Holy shit. Sounds like a pretty epic mama's day to me.
Yeah for you.
A can of fucking Cool Whip?
A CAN OF FUCKING COOL WHIP?
Jesus. Best gift ever, in my opinion. Says a lot about me, eh?
Dude, your husband rocks.
Ugh- I've had a crap-filled day and I just sat on my butt to procrastinate the inevitable "work-out" that's next and I can't thank you enough for a fabulous blog post! The post plus the great comments really had me laughing. Thank God for some laughter!
Glad you had a decent Mother's Day!!
Fabulous photos. I'm impressed with your restraint, or your adherence to local laws. Good to see you made out so well on MDay
I'm drooling over your camera. What a sweetie you have though. He looks great in the tux...but I'm a little confused why he was wearing it. Perhaps I need to go re-read. Happy Belated Mother's Day!!
This message is to the donor. Well done ol' chap, well done.
To Mr Lady. Enjoy the foibles now. When the youngin's get older and have wives and kids of their own they will do what I do every Mother's Day and give you pictures of your grandkids, which is going to both awesome and sucky.
I am not in the mood to listen to the Donor's wonderfulness. NOT. In. The. Mood.
Yes, I got pancakes with bananas and chocolate syrup in bed. Yes, I got a lilac bush that I asked for (though it was a DWARF bush and I wanted a REAL ONE but I digress...). But I also would have liked to have come down to a kitchen not covered in syrup (literally. The floor, table and counters. SYRUP.) and a couple of kids dressed for the day. Just a few! Not even all of them!
Oh well...
HE DITCHED ME WITH HIS MOTHER ALL DAY.
WEEK.
ALL WEEK!!!
You are spoiled. You know that right?
Oooh, can you do that day over again but with ME getting that camera? And the wine?
You can have the MIL though. Mine is fertiliser.
Is that a Nikon D80?? I am in the market for a SLR and am trying to decide between the D60 and D80.
Love the pictures. And the very real mother's day story.
Ahhh....thanks for making me laugh in the morning. You are one brave woman :)
And I love the pictures!
lovely! congrats on the new camera, and I have to ask- does The Donor usually wear a tux for family outings? interesting...
I'm glad you let her live. You're no good to me in prison.
Oh I cannot WAIT to see what you do with that CAnon.. cannot wait!!!
GO DONOR!!!
all i got was a lousy perennial...from my parents.
nice looking family.
congrats on the new camera.
oh, and happy mothers day.
Nice job donor. You are making us all look bad. Happy Belated Mother's Day.
I want a guy like that... hell, I'd have settled for having him around on mother's day this year to cut me some slack. Maybe next year eh? ;)
Those pictures are fabulous. Happy belated Mother's Day.
Nice photos.l I like black and white portraits.
I love the wine idea. How sweet.
I got one of those fancy cameras, too. Have you tongue-kissed yours yet? I have.
Very nice! Congrats on the camera...I'm totally jealous over here (about the wine too.)
Aww that sweet! My 7yr old let me sleep in :D I love the photos.
Wow, so fabulous! Even with the "otherwoman" it sounds like a stellar day... ;)
I took my DSLR to a local garden and left my mother with my family. I was in a crappy mood and that helped!