;)
Monday
May182009
At Least It's Not Teletubbies This Time Around
Monday, May 18, 2009 at 2:39AM
We've had some unusually nice weather here in Vancouver, and by that, of course, I mean we've had some nice weather and that is unusual. Friday was a Pro-D day at school, and it was actually warm, so the entire neighborhood came out side. We've got my three kids, my neighbor's three, the three two houses up, the two two houses down, the one across the street, two more next to them, two more next to them, two three houses up from them, and four behind me. That's a lot of kids. And they all were outside.
Everyone came out with their bikes and their scooters and their trikes and their ripsticks and proceeded to tear it up. 3of3 and I went outside, and as I sat on the curb watching everyone she started trying to ride her brother's Razor scooter. Except she barely has enough of a center of gravity to run, so things were not going well for her.
And that's when I decided it was time for the kid to get her first bike.
We went to Toys R Us and parked outside were a stack of 12" bikes that looked perfect. They were light blue with light pink accents and some of those tassle things on the handbars. They weren't excessively girly, but just girly enough that the little Jewish boy up the street wouldn't think Santa had finally come around and left him an extremely late Christmas present. So I went right over to them, thinking I'd just grab one and be done with it, and that's when I realized that they weren't exactly the kind of sturdy I'd like to strap my only-begotten daughter to in traffic, so we went in.
Friday was evidently British Columbia Bike Buying Day. Big fun, no whammies.
Every bike they had was either made of PVC and pipe cleaners or was drowning in Bratz. I found a really awesome orange scooter, but she was having none of it. And by none of it, I mean she was screaming at the top of her lungs and throwing herself on the floor, shouting, "I CAN'T WIKE A NEW BIKE!!!!"
This is where I should have dropped everything and walked out the door, but I was determined to get this kid outside playing with the kids in the 'hood, so I ended up grabbing the first well-built bike of proper size and specification that I could find a moderately matching helmet for (and goddammit, why didn't they make Paul Frank helmets and pads when my boys were little? I swear, you people get all the cool stuff these days) and making a run for it.
We arrived home, I pulled out my toolbox, poured a drink, and got started on this.
About 30 minutes later, I ended up with this.
Holy Gender Neutral FAIL, Batman.
That is a Sleeping Beauty bike with a silver Disney seat and Disney Princesses helmet and elbow pads. There's even a Princesses bell on the handlebar and a detachable Sleeping Beauty purse on the front, and the whole thing is lacquered in a super-water resistant layer of princess vomit. I swear, it was the only acceptable thing they had. Really.
I got done assembling it, tossed her on it and the thing didn't ride. The problem lay in the one part of the bike that came pre-assembled, and so I pulled out my big guns and took the whole thing apart down to the screws and put it all the way back together. And I FIXED it. I felt really big and bad a tough and all, "Who needs a man, yo? I can assemble a bike and change my own oil and have sex with myself if I absolutely have to. I am WOMAN!" and then I realized that I'd assembled a Sleeping Beauty pink glitter-ridden 12" bicycle.
So it goes.
Anyway, she's ridiculously cute on it and I have grainy proof with terrible audio and you can see that proof filmed on my Blackberry thanks to the magic of YouTube. Which we didn't have when my boys were little, either, you lucky bastards.
Everyone came out with their bikes and their scooters and their trikes and their ripsticks and proceeded to tear it up. 3of3 and I went outside, and as I sat on the curb watching everyone she started trying to ride her brother's Razor scooter. Except she barely has enough of a center of gravity to run, so things were not going well for her.
And that's when I decided it was time for the kid to get her first bike.
We went to Toys R Us and parked outside were a stack of 12" bikes that looked perfect. They were light blue with light pink accents and some of those tassle things on the handbars. They weren't excessively girly, but just girly enough that the little Jewish boy up the street wouldn't think Santa had finally come around and left him an extremely late Christmas present. So I went right over to them, thinking I'd just grab one and be done with it, and that's when I realized that they weren't exactly the kind of sturdy I'd like to strap my only-begotten daughter to in traffic, so we went in.
Friday was evidently British Columbia Bike Buying Day. Big fun, no whammies.
Every bike they had was either made of PVC and pipe cleaners or was drowning in Bratz. I found a really awesome orange scooter, but she was having none of it. And by none of it, I mean she was screaming at the top of her lungs and throwing herself on the floor, shouting, "I CAN'T WIKE A NEW BIKE!!!!"
This is where I should have dropped everything and walked out the door, but I was determined to get this kid outside playing with the kids in the 'hood, so I ended up grabbing the first well-built bike of proper size and specification that I could find a moderately matching helmet for (and goddammit, why didn't they make Paul Frank helmets and pads when my boys were little? I swear, you people get all the cool stuff these days) and making a run for it.
We arrived home, I pulled out my toolbox, poured a drink, and got started on this.
About 30 minutes later, I ended up with this.
Holy Gender Neutral FAIL, Batman.
That is a Sleeping Beauty bike with a silver Disney seat and Disney Princesses helmet and elbow pads. There's even a Princesses bell on the handlebar and a detachable Sleeping Beauty purse on the front, and the whole thing is lacquered in a super-water resistant layer of princess vomit. I swear, it was the only acceptable thing they had. Really.
I got done assembling it, tossed her on it and the thing didn't ride. The problem lay in the one part of the bike that came pre-assembled, and so I pulled out my big guns and took the whole thing apart down to the screws and put it all the way back together. And I FIXED it. I felt really big and bad a tough and all, "Who needs a man, yo? I can assemble a bike and change my own oil and have sex with myself if I absolutely have to. I am WOMAN!" and then I realized that I'd assembled a Sleeping Beauty pink glitter-ridden 12" bicycle.
So it goes.
Anyway, she's ridiculously cute on it and I have grainy proof with terrible audio and you can see that proof filmed on my Blackberry thanks to the magic of YouTube. Which we didn't have when my boys were little, either, you lucky bastards.
Reader Comments (48)
A video like that is sooo cool, but I have a question. Where was the new DSLR ? I sure wish they had cameras like that years ago. I had an Olympus SLR and if I new where 1/4 of the pics I took are I would be in heaven.
Man, I wish we had a Toy's R Us nearby but unfortunately I'd have to drive up to Bellingham, or down to Everett to get to one. The toddler would FLIP if I were to get her that horrid contraption. It would go *perfectly* with the death trap FOLDING bicycle that the great aunt and uncle got her for her birthday(seriously? whose brilliant idea was it to make a folding bike? isn't that like a safety hazard?)
She is so cute! You definitely made the right decision in getting her a bike. Who cares what it looks like when you see that smile on her face!
Gender neutral is a thing of the past. When we were kids, bikes were almost all gender neutral, which was really awesome because I was not a girly girl and would have hated a Barbie bike. Now, there is no choice. My parents just bought my oldest daughter a Disney princess bike with flowers on the spokes and iridescent streamers coming out the handles. She could give two craps. My youngest daughter thought the streamers looked better on the ground and ripped them all out. Good times.
3of3 looks adorable on her princess vomit bike.
OMG... her voice. So stinking cute.
I swear, that's one thing about NOT having girls that I don't mind. I mean, by all means have those girly moments, but the princess vomit bikes and accessories and all things girly brainwashing? So not my thing.
Instead I have to choose between Transformers with various guns and weapons and things that go BOOM, Spongebob Squarepants, and Cars.
I really wish there was brand-neutral stuff out there, even more than the gender-neutral, you know?
I don't think I could assemble a bike, much less fix a part that came already assembled. Would you like to borrow my man card and testicles? Apparently I don't deserve them.
She is too cute!! Thank you for sharing that with us!
I know how ya feel.... it's tough being a REAL WOMAN sometimes.
Got a flat tire over the weekend when my 12-yr old son was in the car with me. As I was in my grubbies and kinda in the middle of nowhere, and don't like to pass up a teaching opportunity, I eschewed calling the auto service and figured I'd teach him how to change a tire.
(Also teaching him that self-sufficient women are DA BOMB)
Do you know how many men will stop, hang around, and NOT GO AWAY (even though you are doing fine, changed the dang tire in under 15 minutes) when they see a woman and a child jacking up a car?????
Guess that's what I get for living in the south, where chivalry still lives.
But I am STILL woman.
Are you going to teach her how to ride it side saddle? :-P
As a child I would have fallen over dead in a deliriously happy state of sparkly pink and purple princess overload if that bike had been presented to me. I was all about that crap. I am with TeacherMommy, it is one of the things about having a boy I don't mind missing out on, assuming he sticks with his current obsession with all things trucks and tools oriented.
I would politely suggest she might need the seat to go up a notch if possible. She has long legs and she may find it easier to peddle if you raise it up as long as she can still reach the pedals.
And congugating the words pedal and peddle on a Monday morning caused a brain cramp. I am still not sure it is right.
I wouldn't worry so much about all the pink glitter & princess vomit. The more important lesson 3of3 learned was that mommy put the bike together and fixed it when it wouldn't work.
Girls are attracted to pink, purple, and frills. Boys like cars & trucks. We gave my brother a baby doll when he was tiny and he pushed it face down across the floor and said "vroom vroom" It's nature. Don't fight it. Just keep being an awesome mom by showing her "girl power" and girls can do anything.
(Like you want solicited advice on this subject from someone calling herself "cheermom").
meant "UNsolicited" obviously
We got our daughter a pink princess bike and our sun a screaming red one. They have since traded.
That looks like a bicycle my own 4-year-old daughter would fall madly in love with. But I have long since given up on the gender neutral. I tried and tried to fight the good fight, but in the end her will was stronger than mine, and we have more princess gear than we can shake a stick at.
The licensed marketing these days, it is crazy, is all I can say.
Yay you! And yay, 3of3!
One of the girls in our neighbourhood has a push bike -- it has no pedals and no training wheels and you propel it with your feet. The great thing about it is that the little girl has actually learned how to balance on the thing! One of the other moms on the street decided to remove the pedals and training wheels from her girl's real bike to let her try it that way, and then changed it back to let her practice pedalling.
We're looking for a bike for Jade, too. Haven't made it down to the big box stores yet... hoping for a garage sale miracle first.
Both of my girls have these cute-but-not-too-girly Huffy Sea Star bikes. I loved the idea of not getting a princess or dora or Barbie bike. And that was a serious miscalculation on my part. Because my 5 year old has complained and complained and complained about that bike since the day we bought it. She wants a Barbie bike and won't shut up about it.
So good one there with the princess bike. You'll be much happier, believe me. Also, it's adorable.
Giggling. Just adorable. I don't think I could assemble anything.
Oh my, I swore if I had a daughter that thought she was a princess I'd beat it out of her (not literally, of course). And what did I end up with? I daughter who thinks she's Cinderella and I'm Belle. Who am I to argue?
As much as I hate all that pink princess vomit, the resulting smiles and laughter are worth it.
It's really the princess vomit that overdoes the ensemble.
What kind of a drink did you pour?
ummm... it looks like there's a kid on its way to attack the new bike. do you see it? by the car. arms up in attack mode. i assume nothing happened, since you probably would have told us about having to karate chop a toddler who tried stealing your daughter's new bike.
holy pink surprise is right.
My daughter absolutely refuses anything that doesn't scream girly-girly-girl from a mile away. I am all about the gender nuetral. She has a huffy bike just like that but without the princesses. I kid you not, it looks exactly the same, but without the princess stuff (which she would kill for). I just lie to her sometimes though. She truly, honestly believes that trains are girl toys, for instance.
so adorable. Did you cry? because The Phi just got her first bike a few weeks ago (http://joeyelissasophia.blogspot.com/2009/05/her-early-birthday-gift.html)
and I totally got all misty.
So. Crazy. Wicked. Cute.
Pink and purple is hard-wired into girls, I truly believe it. I can't stand pink at ALL and do everything in my power to keep it outta my house. And yet I have two tree-climbing, tool-wielding, dirt-digging little girls who still LOVE pink and purple and princesses. Hopefully they will out grow it. Hopefully in my lifetime.
Awesome disassembly/reassembly work, Mom! Good role-modeling!
Oh. That kid. I can't handle it.
And I wish I could tag a sidewalk like that when I was a kid. Chalk skillz - another thing the kids have these days that I didn't.
You rock with the bike assembly! Santa brought Gabriel a bike for Christmas. Santa was my mom, so it came all assembled and such. Which was handy.
well, I for one understand the joy you feel at moments like this! I have all my own tools and although it is very princess, and I am so not a pink kinda girl.
I high five you from over the water!
you go girl
You are woman and I can hear your roar all the way down here in LA.
Assembling bikes, blogging about it, videotaping with your Blackberry, uploading it to YouTube and then embedding it on your blog.....AND being a supportive kind of coaching mama to boot - with the "Go! GO! You can do it! Use your muscles!!"
I love it. Way to use all of YOUR muscles.
Kori already stole my comment idea, so I'll go with "cool bike, man!"
Good call on the white tires, too. They won't get dirty and should be super easy to clean.
Thank you and this post for making four minutes in the BC Ferries foot passenger lounge more tolerable, perhaps even enjoyable!
Am in awe that you assembled it yourself. We fussed till the assembled they bikes for the kids and yeah..Adams first was a TONKA MANLY bike and Caity's first was a pukey PINK Dora bike.
We are going to buy her a new one as the training wheels are now off and HOPING to buy from a reg bike store and NOT ToysRus to avoid the pukey branding..but with our kid..good luck.
She LOVES her Barbie helmet and I only accepted it because it is a skater helmet and really tough!
Son has been lucky in finding NON brandy bikes being GIVEN to him by neighbours who either think WE are nice or he is nice...not sure yet.
However son is jealous of pukey pink bike because of the basket. They don't make MANLY baskets for boys bikes apparently.
This post is precisely why I read you every day and have awarded you a LOVELY BLOG award!! Check out from a sesame seed for praise!!
We have the Disney Princess bell too.
On a MY LITTLE PONY bike.
I have double the girly!
DOUBLE THE GIRLY!!
DOOD. You totally reversed the damage of her having a princessy glitter vomit bike by showing her what a REAL WOMAN is. Shan FTW! And ohmygod, could 3of3 be any more adorable? The girly screams and that sweet little voice...she is SO yours. (Not saying you have a girly scream, ahem...just, she is SO your kid) ;)
And can I just say that I'm so jealous of your kid hoppin' neighborhood with the bikes and the scooters and the kids and the chalk drawings on the road? I grew up in a beautiful, but teensy little neighborhood, and all the kids weren't kids by the time I was ready to play. So I kind of missed out. I wish I'd had what your kids have. Lucky!
so freakin proud of you. i changed a lightbulb yesterday.
hey, is that your street? sweeeet.
isn't it silly when we state the obvious in videos.
we ask and then answer the "what are you doing?" question ourselves.
hey, congrats on the pink disney bike. mine has a boy's bike and a boy's bike it shall remain. i probably should get a girlie bike. you only get to do girlie stuff in your childhood. if you're still got pink bedrooms and pink t-shirts with barbies on at age 35, it's a problem.
My almost-three year old still doesn't know what I princess is. Her favorite color changes daily, and is occasionally pink... and I'm okay with that.
But no one could describe 3of3's bike as well as you did.
Thank you.
Off the subject, slightly: http://www.seatbeltbags.com/accessories.html
I just got diabetes.
what i wouldn't have given for a bike like that when i was little.
and dude...you have toys r us. but you don't have a target? or a trader joes? *scratches head* i don't get it. it's a conspiracy of some sort or another. i mean, it's gotta be.
This is so amazingly awesome. But at the same time it makes me sad because I didn't get to see either of my boys' first bike rides and their mother didn't think to video tape it for me. But they did tell me all about it for 20 minutes in very loud squeelly voices over the phone.
ps. whay to girlie it up.
Yup, that bike looks like Princess Conswalla Banana Hammock was ill all over it, and then it was jet washed with Barbie piss.
I want one.
Having three boys, you have no idea how much I would love to have the chance to put a bike like that together. I know more than I should about Bam Margera and some days I have to wipe the testosterone that's dripping from my walls because someone thought it would be funny to use my box of tampons for scud missles when playing with GI Joe.
Holy cow, that is definitely a girl's bike. Quick, hide it, before my two daughters demand the same exact one. Which might look cute with my 3 year old on it, but the 9 year old? I'm hoping she can get something slightly more... ehm... conservative? (man, I hate that word)
Your daughter looks adorable on it!! Nothing like the first bike :-)
That bike and that child? Somehow simultaneously made my eyes bleed AND kind of made me sad I don't have a daughter. I'm so confused.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I recently acquired a yellow and black Tonka bike for Rocco. No tassels. No bell. No basket. How can one possibly ride a bike without tassels and a bell? Stinky boys!
Well, I know I'M impressed...I would've been a total girl and waited for my husband to put the bike together (not a great example to the 2 daughters I have, I know, but baby steps, you know?)
And you're right. Princesses are far easier to endure than the Teletubbies (we survived that one too.)
How freaking cute!!!!!! She looks so happy and proud!!! And I remember that shriek oh so well. And her laughing and smiling....good, good, times!
yea for 3of3!!!!!!
LOL, that's very cool, even if it is rather pink