;)
Wednesday
Jan132010
And super heroes come to feast; to taste the flesh not yet deceased. And all I know is still the beast is feeding.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010 at 11:00PM
I'd like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey.
{Five points to the first person who says it}
I'd like to take you back to a day, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, when we used to have to walk 13 miles in the snow, uphill, to read someone's blog. When we had to manually add things called "trackbacks" using things called "permalinks" and if we wanted a blogroll, we had to write the html code for one in the sidebar of our blog. After we wrote the html code for a sidebar. A day when you weren't trying to attract readers to your blog, you were trying to explain to your mother what a blog was. A day when you wrote "posts", not "pieces" and you had a "blog", not a "website". A day when the word "widget" didn't exist and the only way to make money off your blog was by sitting on the monitor while you gave blowjobs.
These were the days when people visited each other's blog. These days, you left comments because, you know, you were already there and stuff, yo. These were the days when you formed relationships with the bloggers you read, because you all were this tiny little group of inverted freaks that no one really understood but each other.
Back in those days, you could write a blog for over two years before you ever even heard of Dooce because there weren't communities and blog awards and readers. And then they invented Blogrolling.com. And one day, that started notifying you when someone on your blogroll updated their site, saving you from clicking through every link on your blogroll every day. And then Google came out with The Dreaded Reader, saving you from ever having to click anything. And then some asshole invented Twitter, and Twitter Killed the Weblog Star. And then they invented Tweetdeck, so you never actually had to even follow anyone on Twitter, even though you're following 16,872 people. And now Newsweek Magazine is calling you a GOD.
These days, everyone wants COMMENTS and FOLLOWERS and AWARDS and there are movements created to rally the troups back into submission. These days, there are SPONSORSHIPS and SWAG and ADVERTISING DOLLARS to be had. There is SEO and SEM and there are plugins and platforms and contests and giveaways and everyone wants a piece of it.
I have absolutely no problem with any of this. It's an evolving market, this blogging thing, and there's no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going...yet the rowers keep on rowing.
The thing is, social media has made it easier than ever to be an unsocial recluse. Which is in exact opposition to the point. We don't have to read blogs; hell, we don't even have to write them anymore. Everything that we need to say can be nicely summed up in under 140 characters on Twit-Book. Every correspondence we ever need to have can be had using only a well-placed semi-colon and that weird not-quite-a-hyphen-wiggly~thing. We can completely participate in this community that we desire so much out of without actually participating in it at all.
Social Media is the worst thing to happen to Social Media since Social Media.
We use social media to further the interests of out community, and by using it, we're undermining our community. Which, also, I guess I could be okay with if I had to be (See above; evolution and Willy Wonka) except that one day I woke up and realized that I didn't watch the Daily Show the night before because I'd learned everything I needed to know for the day on Twitter. And when Twitter replaces Jon Stewart as the standard repository of breaking news, something has gone terribly wrong and must be fixed.
Round the world and home again, that's the sailors way.
It's time, for me at least, to turn social media against itself. It's time to take it all back to where it started. It's time to know who my community is again. It's time to take advantage of the tools available that allow us to connect more easily, not less. It's also Delurking Day, so I have that going for me, which is nice.
This month, I am reinventing my own wheel. I'm changing my outlook on blogging, on my blog, on my role as a blogger and my attitude towards it. There are changes a'coming in my little corner of the internet, starting today. Today, I re-instate the blogroll (that I don't have to code myself anymore, thank you sweet, pink baby Jesus.) You read my blog? You're on the blogroll. Leave your url in the comments and I'll take it from there. (Please be patient) Today, I also start clicking through that blogroll. Fuck the reader, screw Twitter...it's time to visit blogs. It's time to delurk, for good. It's time to help the people who take the time to read this blog earn that extra dollar with their ads. It's time to remind myself why the hell I do this on the internet and not on a cocktail napkin in the first place, which is honestly way more tactile-y satisfying and significantly easier to roll my chewed gum up in.
I've wished this blog dead more times than I can count. It almost died a million times, and I almost let it. This Mr Lady person has almost vanished from the internet because, quiet frankly, Shannon has a hard time keeping up with all. But we're not dead yet. Blogging is not dead yet. This community of bloggers isn't dead yet. I think we should all go for a walk.
{Five points to the first person who says it}
I'd like to take you back to a day, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, when we used to have to walk 13 miles in the snow, uphill, to read someone's blog. When we had to manually add things called "trackbacks" using things called "permalinks" and if we wanted a blogroll, we had to write the html code for one in the sidebar of our blog. After we wrote the html code for a sidebar. A day when you weren't trying to attract readers to your blog, you were trying to explain to your mother what a blog was. A day when you wrote "posts", not "pieces" and you had a "blog", not a "website". A day when the word "widget" didn't exist and the only way to make money off your blog was by sitting on the monitor while you gave blowjobs.
These were the days when people visited each other's blog. These days, you left comments because, you know, you were already there and stuff, yo. These were the days when you formed relationships with the bloggers you read, because you all were this tiny little group of inverted freaks that no one really understood but each other.
Back in those days, you could write a blog for over two years before you ever even heard of Dooce because there weren't communities and blog awards and readers. And then they invented Blogrolling.com. And one day, that started notifying you when someone on your blogroll updated their site, saving you from clicking through every link on your blogroll every day. And then Google came out with The Dreaded Reader, saving you from ever having to click anything. And then some asshole invented Twitter, and Twitter Killed the Weblog Star. And then they invented Tweetdeck, so you never actually had to even follow anyone on Twitter, even though you're following 16,872 people. And now Newsweek Magazine is calling you a GOD.
These days, everyone wants COMMENTS and FOLLOWERS and AWARDS and there are movements created to rally the troups back into submission. These days, there are SPONSORSHIPS and SWAG and ADVERTISING DOLLARS to be had. There is SEO and SEM and there are plugins and platforms and contests and giveaways and everyone wants a piece of it.
I have absolutely no problem with any of this. It's an evolving market, this blogging thing, and there's no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going...yet the rowers keep on rowing.
The thing is, social media has made it easier than ever to be an unsocial recluse. Which is in exact opposition to the point. We don't have to read blogs; hell, we don't even have to write them anymore. Everything that we need to say can be nicely summed up in under 140 characters on Twit-Book. Every correspondence we ever need to have can be had using only a well-placed semi-colon and that weird not-quite-a-hyphen-wiggly~thing. We can completely participate in this community that we desire so much out of without actually participating in it at all.
Social Media is the worst thing to happen to Social Media since Social Media.
We use social media to further the interests of out community, and by using it, we're undermining our community. Which, also, I guess I could be okay with if I had to be (See above; evolution and Willy Wonka) except that one day I woke up and realized that I didn't watch the Daily Show the night before because I'd learned everything I needed to know for the day on Twitter. And when Twitter replaces Jon Stewart as the standard repository of breaking news, something has gone terribly wrong and must be fixed.
Round the world and home again, that's the sailors way.
It's time, for me at least, to turn social media against itself. It's time to take it all back to where it started. It's time to know who my community is again. It's time to take advantage of the tools available that allow us to connect more easily, not less. It's also Delurking Day, so I have that going for me, which is nice.
This month, I am reinventing my own wheel. I'm changing my outlook on blogging, on my blog, on my role as a blogger and my attitude towards it. There are changes a'coming in my little corner of the internet, starting today. Today, I re-instate the blogroll (that I don't have to code myself anymore, thank you sweet, pink baby Jesus.) You read my blog? You're on the blogroll. Leave your url in the comments and I'll take it from there. (Please be patient) Today, I also start clicking through that blogroll. Fuck the reader, screw Twitter...it's time to visit blogs. It's time to delurk, for good. It's time to help the people who take the time to read this blog earn that extra dollar with their ads. It's time to remind myself why the hell I do this on the internet and not on a cocktail napkin in the first place, which is honestly way more tactile-y satisfying and significantly easier to roll my chewed gum up in.
I've wished this blog dead more times than I can count. It almost died a million times, and I almost let it. This Mr Lady person has almost vanished from the internet because, quiet frankly, Shannon has a hard time keeping up with all. But we're not dead yet. Blogging is not dead yet. This community of bloggers isn't dead yet. I think we should all go for a walk.
Reader Comments (311)
Oh, how I love that flasher and his delurking booty call. I haven't seen him in years. I need to resurrect his ass, too. It's been too long.
How's Texas treating ya, lady? You got those cowboys sayin' your name yet?
Life has been kicking my ass and calling me its bitch lately and I don't think I've read a blog in 2 months. Boy howdy am I glad this is the one to bring me back. And now you've got me all amped to write too. Well done, lady.
I love reading your blog. I like the title, and the Rocky Horror references too!
I remember doing the time warp. You can make money from this?
You are spot on. In a way, I'm glad I don't have a Smartphone. When I leave the house I'm unplugged. I go on about my day and if I miss something, I'm sure it will be re-Tweeted.
I've been thinking about my blogroll too. I took it down because of the maintenance. But, in doing so I was dis-respecting the people who's work I appreciate by not letting everyone else see who I've made connections with. I hadn't thought to add the commenters too. Looks like I have homework.
i don't get twitter. it makes me feel like the girl who gets picked last for the kickball team in fifth grade.
so yeah, i prefer blogging. and clicking through. and comments.
and the community.
and friends.
So, here's a slightly different perspective. I follow (religiously) you and a few others (most likely you guys are all BFFs, it seems). I'd love to comment and retweet and @ you all (y'all) regularly, but to post is intimidating, or maybe almost assumptive, cause I haven't earned my place in that community. Is that a funny side effect of 'social' media? It's almost like, to be able to participate in the awesomeness of this mommy blogging community, you need to do your time, and get recognized through your content (as you should). Then you can join the dialogue.
Also, you're Canadian (in my books) and from my town (recently), and I'm damn proud of the quality writers our little neck of the mountains has churned out. So please don't let this blog die. Even if you're now a cowgirl.
I tried Twitter for about 2 months before giving up. It's just about impossible for me to be succinct. And I refuse to compromise my punctuation addiction for the sake of telling someone what I'm wearing to bed. So now I use it as a post feeder, but I never log on or actually read anyone else's.
And I think I'm a cheater with my blogroll, because every blog I read on my Google reader is on a page on my blog. So when I stop reading a blog, that link goes away, but when I start reading one... well that shows up too.
See? I'm not succinct.
~
This? Is why I love you. Actually visiting blogs is why I started blogging in the first place!
Oh yeah, and the innuendo. That's usually good, too, yo.
Excellent post!
Incidently, what do you think about the use of social media in "personalizing" small businesses and in self-branding? Sometimes there seems to be a cross-over, especially with WAHMs, and I'm not sure that's always good (example: using one's business name as their Twitter handle, but then posting the kind of personal stuff that would be an inappropriate conversation were you to just bring it up in a conversation with a customer in your shop).
@Stephanie I feel exactly the same way! I don't feel comfortable enough to dive in so I sit back and lurk which only increases my discomfort.
I screwed up the courage to attend two events the lovely Mr Lady organized before she headed south. I prepared an excuse to bolt if I felt out of place. I met local bloggers and a few really well known bloggers from across Canada and I have to say that each and every woman was lovely. At one event I sat down & I almost ran. Clearly I'd stumbled into a group where everyone already knew each other. Those women embraced me and made me feel welcome. Not only are they brilliant writers but they're friendly!
Thank you for writing this Mr Lady. I agree that social media has not done a thing to make me more sociable and it's high time I fixed that.
@Sandi, thanks for your comments. Good for you for attending and I'm so jealous you got to hang with these great writers. Funny enough, I have no problem walking into a group of people and very quickly becoming comfortable with them. But, online, we have less to distinguish ourselves with as there is no assumed personal presence, so I am hyper sensitive to being "that annoying chick who RT's or comments on everything".
@BrassyMom, interesting comments - something I've just been musing about on my own blog. The whole concept of your personal brand and whether it is appropriate or advisable to let them converge, particularly if you are running a more self-directed business and thus have more pressure to be branding yourself and your service offerings. I truly believe there is a happy medium and I believe our public worlds are coming together and both customers and acquaintances alike want to know everything about us. There's value there in being a more 'whole' person, but I don't know if the rest of the world is quite there yet. Anyways, great fuel for discussion.
I followed the link to this post from Headless Mom. I use Lifestream as my blogroll. I do have to add by hand (with clicks and a little typing, no coding), but it auto-updates in my sidebar with each new post or article.
I've gotten used to the decrease in actual blog visitors. I do hate Google Reader, but mainly because it's trying too hard. Enough with the widgets and the sharing, just show me the g-d feed of the blogs I want.
Anyway, good luck with your click-through plans. You must a very organized person with extremely well-behaved children. :)
[...] I am admittedly easily confused. Both of these posts are date-stamped January 13 saying it’s National De-Lurker Day, but the lovely [...]
I'm totally feeling ya babe.
I am so glad that you haven't given up on your blog. I enjoy your thoughts on parenting and life and stuff. And I have to third what Stephanie, above, said about not wanting to impose or insert myself into the dialogue here. But I check religiously, and I actually click through, because I *gasp* really dislike the feed readers. I hope that you are starting to find your sense of home and belonging in Texas...
Funny, I swear those days weren't that long ago. (says she who has only been blogging for 2.5 years) Hello, not a lurker (anymore), just a reader (still), short on commenting time. Seems these kids of mine need attention and stuff, when I could be ignoring them.
xx
I kinda have lost interest in Twitter to be honest. I'd rather get the *whole* story.
Came over here from Headless Mom. I do use a blog reader but that is because my connection is so slow here. I probably click through to 5 blogs a day to comment.
But I like that little ~ thing. And these {} are so cute.
Move to Australia woman, no swag or sponsorship here, hell we can't even LOOK at the Babble 50 top Mommy Bloggers thingy.
So even though we live in the future we are hard core old skool bloggers.
And all I know is still the beast is feeding: http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/01/13/delurk/
It's my first time here, and I hear 'ya. Gratefully, I never got twitter or tweet. This part of the world takes up enough of my time, thank you very much. Life is good, treat it with respect and the blogosphere is good too.
Hello!
I did kill my blog a while ago... and although I read lots, I rarely comment... I'm just rubbish!
I don't lurk, I love to comment, although often I am commenting some days late.
I do love my google reader though, because I am able to read blogs on my iphone while I am sitting waiting for my children, I can put a star next to the ones that I want to follow up on, and then when I am on my computer later I can go and comment on the starred ones.
The trouble then is that if I get a backlog of starred posts I might end up missing the "moment". But I do like the fact that I have a list of posts that I can revisit otherwise I'd totally forget to go comment on them!
I only found your blog a couple weeks ago, this'll be my first comment, and now I'm all 'first day of the new school year' shy and I have nothing meaningful to say except: love your work, keep it coming :-)
Doing what i'm told to do delurk :)
I have been feeling the exact same way: Twitter is killing blogs.
But I refuse to let it. 140 characters is NOT enough.
Thanks for not letting Mr. Lady disappear.
And this is why you have become my favorite blogger...even my daughter loves you and she does not read blogs. Also, you keep quoting Rocky Horror (which I loooovvvveee), though if you don't quit getting those songs stuck in my head I might have to beat you.
I admit, I'm guilty of using Google reader. I don't post on my own site much anymore; it was just one more thing I felt like I HAD to do before the end of the day - and I didn't even have any readers!
I promise to comment more, even if it's just to say "Hells to the yeah!" And not just on yours. I remember how excited I used to get when I got a comment. I'll pass that feeling on.
Welcome to Texas, you old So-And-So!
I don't lurk anywhere - I don't feel like I have to "earn" my place in the blogger community by commenting - I just feel like that's my way of connecting and remembering what others have said. I'm more invested if I have participated, you know?
I've just started my de-lurking here - I've read you for about a year. Cruising the blogs is good for my soul, and I comment when I can. You know, when I have something to actually say ;)
Delurking :) I do love Google Reader because as a general rule, if I've got something to say, I'll click over to comment anyways. Plus I love the recommendations feature. It's how I've found a ton of great blogs to read, including yours.
I agree that Twitter (and Facebook) have killed blogging, at least for me. I linked up my cooking blog up above, but I've got a personal blog too, and it is woefully neglected. Why sit down and write out a whole blog post when I can share just a few sentences somewhere else? Plus, when I post something short as a status on Facebook, I get comments. Or even just someone pressing "like" to let me know they are there. On my blogs, however, commenting has dwindled to practically nothing. I'm guilty of this too... I don't comment near as often as I used to.
Hi
Delurking to say hello and that I've recently discovered your blog (via a retweeted Twitter comment actually). I've noticed more than a few bloggers are putting more focus on their blogs lately instead of just throwing everything on Twitter. Maybe it's making a comeback.
I'm a dad of a 16 month old so I've been reading a lot of mommy blogs (not so many daddy blogs, though) and now my own blog has started focusing on that. Pre-potty training mishaps are always good for a laugh.
For some reason I thought your quote was from Charlie & The Chocolate Factory; finding out it's from Rocky Horror is kind of embarrassing (I love that movie and should have known better) and kind of frightening (they aren't really alike at all, other than being odd).
I think I've commented before, but just in case I haven't I'm delurking to say thank you for continuing to write. I enjoy reading what you have to say.
Delurking. You are the 1st blog I click on in my reader each morning. That's kinda of a big deal in my world. :) You've come a long way girlfriend. Cant wait to see what you have in store.
Please don't change too much! I love you just the way you are!
I heart you, Mr. Lady. I usually just read you in The Dreaded Reader but am delurking just for you. xo
Your Delurking Day icon should *really* be The Boots Photo. Just sayin'.
i have to admit, I kind of like the anonymity of just reading, but since I love your blog, I'll honor your delurking request. Thanks for your honesty and your humor. You make me laugh!
Please don't kill off your blog. I don't know how to do CPR over the Internets. And thanks for occasionally coming out to play at www.chezrougie.com.
I miss the good ol' days of blogging. I still blog almost daily, but there aren't many readers out there--at least readers willing to leave a comment. I'm just as guilty as the next person about that. It's so easy to just keep strolling down the google reader. I hope you don't close up shop here. My blog reading is taking up less and less of my time these days since I refuse to twitter and my favorite bloggers keep moving to that platform.
Luddite alert! Luddite alert! ... Just kidding.
I often fall into the Twitter trap and use Google Reader for just about all my news and info gathering -- though I give props and visit the sites in fairness! I often get overwhelmed with all the Twitter tweets my tweeting tweeters tweet and end up feeling a little burned out, all twitted and shriveled up like a stubborn HTML coder would feel in a world of 1-click and you're done websites. I also get lazy and use Google Reader to surf the headlines on sites I could be visiting but there's reason for my madness - in using Reader and Twitter.
You mention the madness, insanity and outrage that is replacing The Daily Show with Twitter. First of all, you're insane. Second of all, you're not insane for thinking The Daily Show is just Twitter 2.0. There have been many times I've winced at John Stewart and wished he would, for the love of my sobriety, get back in school and study some political science or journalism. Why? If you missed his recent interview of John Yoo, it might be a good idea to watch the three extended videos to get a good feel for why John Stewart just doesn't cut it any more. The man's funny but he failed at making Yoo, the guy that thinks electrocuting and crushing a young boy's testicles to find out what he had for lunch that day, look like the ass hat he is. For now on, John Yoo will always seem like a swell guy that deserves a pat on the back for making sure that young boy gets his money's worth with Dick Cheney as his BDSM sex kitten.
What's the point? Well, FNC (Faux News Channel), CNN (Cat Nap News), MSNBC (My Stupid New Broadcasted Crapola) are all total fail. I don't really have to explain, do I? Doubt I do. It takes a John Stewart and a Stephen Colbert to get some actual, witty objectivity injected into our new feeds - and they're not even news! So when actual news and fake news fails, what's a person to do? Read a newspaper? Oh hell no. There's always Twitter and the mass of crazies on there. Might as well. There's more credibility in sober Tila Tequila's Twitter page than on Glenn Beck's punch-me-in-the-face mug. Gimme the links to the info and give them to me fourteen times as you post the same Tweet over and over again while fifty other people retweet it just to make sure I didn't miss it the first thirteen times! Seriously, the three people I follow on Twitter make my feed fly.
I've already said too much. I'll just leave the Google Reader use thingy as simple as this: go to HuffingtonPost.com and try finding something, anything, in the jumbled mess! My first website was more organized and information was easier to find on it and all it had was a stupid little image I pooped out my Photoshop.
Nevertheless... Did I say I was finished? I guess I did. Oh well... while I agree with the sentiment in your blog post, I don't think I want to change - not until going back to the good old days of writing my own HTML code and turning MP3s into MIDIs start owning up to their responsibilities of doing better than a twit that tweets.
But, I'll still visit blogs, always. If I'm going to sneak around and read people's diaries, I'm going to read the actual diary instead of a photocopy and maybe write on the side to let the owner know I read their diary. I just wish this comment felt as violating as that.
Now back to downloading por--- I mean Twitter.
I've been reading your blog for a LONG time. I've commented a few times but I'm really awful about reading and reading and reading and rarely commenting. I'm a new blogger and I'm not very talented or anything, hell, I don't even proclaim to be a writer. I want to remember shit, so I blog about it...LOL I don't Twitter, I only look on Facebook about once a week from the laptop no less not my phone cuz I don't have a smartphone and the texting was insane the few days I did it. I don't use a reader, I click through my favs and read them and actually see what their blogs look like. I don't want to be connected 24/7 and sometimes, I even ignore my phone when it rings... LOL
No need to delurk, I have been here before and I will be here again in your comments but HI ANYWAY. I can't figure out how I would fit twitter into my day so I don't do that. And I hardly want to talk to the 12 people I see in person regularly, I am pretty sure Twitter would put me in my grave.
I write entirely too much to ever be confined to Twitter for long. Though I do enjoy hanging out there because when I say something, people actually pay attention, as opposed to in my home, where I could talk all day and not one person will acknowledge me as being anything but the cook and diaper changer.
Delurking. I don't comment much but I always read. I make it my goal to read all the Shannon's who blog on the internets. :)
I'm fairly new to this blogging thing. I read everyone in my blog roll and I don't twitter :) I must be WAY behind. LOL
I like delurking. and commenting. and sweet pink baby jesus made me think of a tiny neon pink baby. whoops. probably not the visual you were going for. I've seen the blog world do awesome things and I've also seen people be real shitheads. most of the time people are awesome though. and the shitheads I generally ignore! I'm ready to go for a walk too!
I'm still here reading and drawing inspiration from you and your awesomeness. You continuously remind me that everything will be ok and I will survive. Thank you.