;)
Wednesday
Feb172010
The Whole Is Greater Than The Sum Of It's Parts
Wednesday, February 17, 2010 at 11:22AM
It's estimated that two new blogs are created every second of every day.
There are parenting blogs and business blogs and photo blogs and music blogs and news blogs and tech blogs and art blogs and travel blogs and food blogs and political blogs and the one thing they all share in common is voice. Blogging, by its very nature, is a personal endeavour. Our souls color our words, for good or ill, and that is what makes what we do exceptional. All of us. Each and every one of you. You share your soul in every picture, in every semicolon, in every over-used ellipse...
Once in a while, though, one of those 70 million blogs, one of those ones created in the time you took to blink just now, one of those 38.5 million that are active today, one of them comes along and stops the world. You never know which one it's going to be. I'll bet Maggie Dammit didn't know a year ago when she hit publish that it was going to be hers.
A year ago today, during one of those blinks of an eye, a girl named Maggie started a blog called Violence Unsilenced. She wanted to see a place where survivors of anything could come and talk, just share, just hand what they spent a lifetime carrying heavy on their backs over to someone else.
As of today, 101 survivors have spoken. Some do it anonymously, some do it discreetly, some shout to the rooftops. We all are at different stages of this game, after all, this letting go. It's a language, and together we're learning to speak it.
It's not a language that anyone comes to easily. My friend Kelly once said, "silence is a weapon women use against themselves", and there are few things I read that hit me square in the gut, but that one did. The less we share, the less we talk, the more silent we are about these things that have been thrust upon us here-I-come-ready-or-not, the more deeply they cut us.
I got tired of being cut. 100 other people got tired of being cut. 101 of us, so far, have banded together to accept that we aren't the inmates, we are the asylum of things that wives and husbands, sons and daughters, friends and lovers should never have to house.
I will never, ever, be able to return to my mother the fear that she whispered into my head so she didn't have to carry it anymore. I will never have the chance to give my father back his bloodstains and his degradation. What I can do is wash it off of my skin, rinse it out of my mouth, ball it up in my fingers and beat it to death on this keyboard. I can give it to you, to them, to those of us who have been convinced by god or man that it is ours alone to carry.
Alone is the most desperate word. Silence is the strongest weapon. Broken is something we can be, or something we can do.
I did. We did together. And we're changing the world, one keystroke at a time.
Happy anniversary to each and every one of us, each part that making us all whole again.
There are parenting blogs and business blogs and photo blogs and music blogs and news blogs and tech blogs and art blogs and travel blogs and food blogs and political blogs and the one thing they all share in common is voice. Blogging, by its very nature, is a personal endeavour. Our souls color our words, for good or ill, and that is what makes what we do exceptional. All of us. Each and every one of you. You share your soul in every picture, in every semicolon, in every over-used ellipse...
Once in a while, though, one of those 70 million blogs, one of those ones created in the time you took to blink just now, one of those 38.5 million that are active today, one of them comes along and stops the world. You never know which one it's going to be. I'll bet Maggie Dammit didn't know a year ago when she hit publish that it was going to be hers.
A year ago today, during one of those blinks of an eye, a girl named Maggie started a blog called Violence Unsilenced. She wanted to see a place where survivors of anything could come and talk, just share, just hand what they spent a lifetime carrying heavy on their backs over to someone else.
As of today, 101 survivors have spoken. Some do it anonymously, some do it discreetly, some shout to the rooftops. We all are at different stages of this game, after all, this letting go. It's a language, and together we're learning to speak it.
It's not a language that anyone comes to easily. My friend Kelly once said, "silence is a weapon women use against themselves", and there are few things I read that hit me square in the gut, but that one did. The less we share, the less we talk, the more silent we are about these things that have been thrust upon us here-I-come-ready-or-not, the more deeply they cut us.
I got tired of being cut. 100 other people got tired of being cut. 101 of us, so far, have banded together to accept that we aren't the inmates, we are the asylum of things that wives and husbands, sons and daughters, friends and lovers should never have to house.
I will never, ever, be able to return to my mother the fear that she whispered into my head so she didn't have to carry it anymore. I will never have the chance to give my father back his bloodstains and his degradation. What I can do is wash it off of my skin, rinse it out of my mouth, ball it up in my fingers and beat it to death on this keyboard. I can give it to you, to them, to those of us who have been convinced by god or man that it is ours alone to carry.
Alone is the most desperate word. Silence is the strongest weapon. Broken is something we can be, or something we can do.
I did. We did together. And we're changing the world, one keystroke at a time.
Happy anniversary to each and every one of us, each part that making us all whole again.
Reader Comments (52)
Amen.
PS. I love you.
And there are more waiting to be shared. My own story is waiting in the wings. Violence Unsilenced is an amazing gift to us all.
Damn, I have chills. For every single voice, who shared their story and who supported the survivors. Maggie is a gift. And thank you, Mr. Lady, for writing this.
I don't really have words here except yes. This is it.
Maggie gave me my voice. A voice I hadn't ever used. I didn't tell anyone. Not my family, not my friends, not my husband.
And because of Maggie, I have a voice again.
I am beyond honored that you called me friend. I am beyond honored to be given the chance to know a woman like you. I learn so much from you. Always have. Even when I refused to admit it.
This was so powerfully written. That you, Maggie, women, and men, and children everywhere find the words to speak out, well...that leaves me speechless
I rattled like a freight train the whole time it took for me to write my entry. Like a dang freight train. I knew it was important to get it up and out, but I didn't realize how profound it would be for me.
I hear this from others as well, and I'm so profoundly grateful to Maggie for thinking of it, for acting on it, for nuturing her baby and coaxing it to blossom and grow, then letting survivors share in its fruits.
Maggie has an awesome anniversary video, left me in tears. I am so very proud of all of you for giving a voice to those who can't or won't speak.
maggie is a gift to us all, as are you. i posted my own little bit of thanks to our awesome lady here... http://www.mybottlesup.com/rape/thank-you-maggie/
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VU!!!!
Thank you for this link!
Yeah baby. To arms. Give me gun. I want to shoot somebody. (No wait!)
Anyway, I spoke out. Ten years ago.
That's the day my dad stopped speaking to me.
i cannot believe i found this TODAY! i have never been on your blog before and today i found it. in the last year i came to term with my past, and my sexual abuse. i finally after 13 years am starting to deal with it, confront it, admit it, and get help for it ....
thank you!
I haven't heard of that blog before but I am definitely going to check it out.
You are brilliant. Maggie is brilliant. I'm bursting with bloggy love & pride!
Whew!!! You took the words right out of my fingertips! Thanks...
Much love and plenty of hugs!
Kimberly...I spoke out January 18, 2010.
My God you have a way with words. My God.
You also have a way with making me bawl my fool head off, as do several of the commenters above.
THANK YOU. xo
Am crying. Is too fresh for me still. Couldn't even send in picture of sign. But thank you for this. Agree fully.
Beautiful post. Amazing post, amazing blog. Not enough adjectives.
I haven't spoken out for oh so many reasons. This video gave me chills, made me cry, and gave me courage to speak out. Thank you, Maggie, for all you do.
All I can tell you is what I told Maggie earlier ... AWESOME!
So beautifully said. Congrats to everyone involved with that tremendous site. We're ALL better off for it.
I followed maggie's link here, and I'm glad I did. You took the words right out of my mouth, err, keyboard. My story is still in the queue, but putting it in words (for the first time) was freeing. Also very painful - but in a good way.
I was going to post something at my place today, but I couldn't.
I am thankful to Maggie and for all those others who spoke out so I had the courage to do so.
And thank you too, this post is a beautiful tribute to us all.
xo
You had me in tears. Thank you.
It's been absolutely amazing to be witness to Violence Unsilenced.
Read this. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/02/17/violenceunsilencedyearone/ I feel honored to know her.
Oh, @mrlady . Oh. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/02/17/violenceunsilencedyearone/
Awesome! RT @maggiedammit Oh, @mrlady . Oh. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/02/17/violenceunsilencedyearone/
RT @mrlady: A little thank you note for @maggiedammit #vu http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/02/17/violenceunsilencedyearone/
RT @maggiedammit: Oh, @mrlady . Oh. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/02/17/violenceunsilencedyearone/
lovely. just, so, so poetic. and I am sure you didn't even mean it to be poetic.
RT @maggiedammit: Oh, @mrlady . Oh. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/02/17/violenceunsilencedyearone/
RT @maggiedammit: Oh, @mrlady . Oh. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/02/17/violenceunsilencedyearone/
Jenny said exactly what I was going to say.
Love you
This entry gave me chills! What you're all doing is an amazing thing and though I'm sure part of the reason you're doing it is to help yourselves there are so many other people out there that you're all helping by sharing your stories! For all of those people that you're helping, I thank you!
Amen, all the sistahs!
RT @maggiedammit: Oh, @mrlady . Oh. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/02/17/violenceunsilencedyearone/
Wow.
I am truly humbled.
Wow that was powerfully written!
Outstanding, moving, profoundly important post. I found my voice a very long time ago. Big hugs to all xo
I started reading VU a while back, and I can't get through any of the posts without either sitting in silence or sucking back tears.
The strength in sharing those stories is so powerful and, at the same time, so necessary for others who need to hear that voice.
Thank you.
It is such an awesome blog. And you all, all the survivors, so brave, so... alive and kicking, literally, despite all the shit tha happened. It is the.most.inspiring.thing in the world. Happy Anniversary.
So proud of Maggie and everyone involved.
This is just the beginning.
Getting past our past is the hardest part of living our lives. Some of us have more past to get past than others.
I posted a link to your blog today - before I read this post- and so very glad this is the post that it will bring everyone to!
Just sharing The Sunshine Blog Award with you...
because you make people smile!
Yes. Just yes.
xo
It makes me hurt for all of you that you even have stories to tell. But, thank you for opening up to us. Maggie is an inspiration. All of you are.
Love you, Mr. Lady. In a big sloppy french kissing way.
You are my favorite....really seriously though.
Violence Unsilenced is a gift, it's storysharers are heroes.
Violence UnSilenced is the http://titaniumpersonaltraining.blogspot.com/2010/02/thats-haiku-for-you.html" rel="nofollow">best thing that ever happened to me. Maggie made the world a better place; for this, I am thankful.
Maggie is such a wonderful person.
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
Truly great.