;)
Monday
Mar012010
Now, I Just Have To Get Him To Stop Picking His Nose, And We'll Be All Set
Monday, March 1, 2010 at 9:10AM
My nine year old is a Pisces. That means that he's emotional, and that he's conflicted, and that everything in his life is driven by his feelings. My eleven year old is an Aries, which means nothing goes further than his thick head. He finds reason for everything, he thinks everything through, and emotions run about a 2 on the Importance Scale in his life.
I was born 15 minutes off the cusp of Pisces and Aries, so I'm about as close to both as you can get without having an evil twin growing out of your throat. This just means that I get both of my kids pretty well. This also means that we all have birthdays in the next 44 days; just sayin'.
*ahem*
The differences in my children make my life totally complete, absolutely fascinating, and consistently inconsistent. They need two totally different styles of discipline, affection, encouragement and socialization. My oldest son can (and does) get lost in design and programming and science. My youngest son needs people. He needs physical interaction just to maintain his sanity. He needs friendships and he needs love.
Conveniently enough, he found both this weekend.
He's been fairly epically in love twice before, which is saying something since the kid hasn't been alive for an entire decade just yet. His first One True Love was Sam. They were five and she taught him how to french kiss on the playground at school one day. She was a troubled little girl from a troubled little home and he was, well, him, and those waters run deep. They were soulmates, best friends, two halves of a whole and he still refers to her as the great love of his life, four whole years later.
The second girl was Natalie. Natalie looked almost exactly like Sam, but didn't have the troubled-childhood thing under her belt. She was older than him, popular, athletic and smart. She was the girl that every little boy wanted to have the attention of, but my son was determined to win her over. We talked a lot about how to treat a girl, how to win her heart, and he agreed that it would be best if he was just nice to her. He went out of his way to include her in their playground games, but didn't treat her like "a girl"....he just played with her, like she was every other kid. He didn't nag her, but he didn't ignore her, either, and he didn't tease her like most of his friends did. And then one day, once the groundwork was laid and she knew who he was, he wrote her a private letter. He told her that looking at her was like looking at angels, and that when she was near him, it was as if he was in heaven.
The boy's good, yo.
Aside: I only know about this letter because he left it at his friend's house and that friend's mom found it. It was so adorable, she actually hand-delivered it to Ms Natalie. After she called me to read it to me.
But then we moved, again, and 2of3 has been reluctant to make new friends here. You move a kid far enough away from everything he loves enough times, and he starts sheltering his heart.
He's got a few buddies here; not anyone close enough to get into really good trouble with, but just enough to have a kid or two to eat lunch with. 2of3 is the kind of kid who needs one person, just one, that is all his own. He needs that soul-crushing, all-consuming connection with someone, and without it, he's just not the same kid. Which sucks, because he's manically awesome when he's whole.
When we had some friends over for dinner on Saturday, we assumed their daughters would be friends with our daughter. She's 4, they are 6 and 7. We figured our 11 year old would lock his door and hide in his room the whole night, and we figured that 2of3 would spend the night showing the grown-ups how far he can shove his fingers up his nose while the girls all played together.
Wrong.
By the end of the night, their 7 year old and my 9 year old were in a tent out back with a flashlight, a board game and some popcorn, just hanging out. They played video games together and played tag with each other and had juice boxes together. They met, they wooed, they made exchange of video game cheat codes.
He absolutely adored her. Admittedly, she IS pretty flipping adorable, but after they headed home for the night, I went up to the boys rooms to send them to bed. I found 2of3 on his brother's floor, slowly and deliberately pushing a little skateboard up and down a little Tech Deck ramp, and I asked him if he had fun. He sighed. I asked him if we should invite the girls to his birthday party, and he didn't even look up at me when he said, "Mom, I think I have a crush on her." I said I thought he did, too, and he said, "But she's only seven. I'm going to have to be really nice to her, huh?"
Yes, kid, yes you are. I have a feeling it won't be all that hard for you to pull really nice off, though.
I was born 15 minutes off the cusp of Pisces and Aries, so I'm about as close to both as you can get without having an evil twin growing out of your throat. This just means that I get both of my kids pretty well. This also means that we all have birthdays in the next 44 days; just sayin'.
*ahem*
The differences in my children make my life totally complete, absolutely fascinating, and consistently inconsistent. They need two totally different styles of discipline, affection, encouragement and socialization. My oldest son can (and does) get lost in design and programming and science. My youngest son needs people. He needs physical interaction just to maintain his sanity. He needs friendships and he needs love.
Conveniently enough, he found both this weekend.
He's been fairly epically in love twice before, which is saying something since the kid hasn't been alive for an entire decade just yet. His first One True Love was Sam. They were five and she taught him how to french kiss on the playground at school one day. She was a troubled little girl from a troubled little home and he was, well, him, and those waters run deep. They were soulmates, best friends, two halves of a whole and he still refers to her as the great love of his life, four whole years later.
The second girl was Natalie. Natalie looked almost exactly like Sam, but didn't have the troubled-childhood thing under her belt. She was older than him, popular, athletic and smart. She was the girl that every little boy wanted to have the attention of, but my son was determined to win her over. We talked a lot about how to treat a girl, how to win her heart, and he agreed that it would be best if he was just nice to her. He went out of his way to include her in their playground games, but didn't treat her like "a girl"....he just played with her, like she was every other kid. He didn't nag her, but he didn't ignore her, either, and he didn't tease her like most of his friends did. And then one day, once the groundwork was laid and she knew who he was, he wrote her a private letter. He told her that looking at her was like looking at angels, and that when she was near him, it was as if he was in heaven.
The boy's good, yo.
Aside: I only know about this letter because he left it at his friend's house and that friend's mom found it. It was so adorable, she actually hand-delivered it to Ms Natalie. After she called me to read it to me.
But then we moved, again, and 2of3 has been reluctant to make new friends here. You move a kid far enough away from everything he loves enough times, and he starts sheltering his heart.
He's got a few buddies here; not anyone close enough to get into really good trouble with, but just enough to have a kid or two to eat lunch with. 2of3 is the kind of kid who needs one person, just one, that is all his own. He needs that soul-crushing, all-consuming connection with someone, and without it, he's just not the same kid. Which sucks, because he's manically awesome when he's whole.
When we had some friends over for dinner on Saturday, we assumed their daughters would be friends with our daughter. She's 4, they are 6 and 7. We figured our 11 year old would lock his door and hide in his room the whole night, and we figured that 2of3 would spend the night showing the grown-ups how far he can shove his fingers up his nose while the girls all played together.
Wrong.
By the end of the night, their 7 year old and my 9 year old were in a tent out back with a flashlight, a board game and some popcorn, just hanging out. They played video games together and played tag with each other and had juice boxes together. They met, they wooed, they made exchange of video game cheat codes.
He absolutely adored her. Admittedly, she IS pretty flipping adorable, but after they headed home for the night, I went up to the boys rooms to send them to bed. I found 2of3 on his brother's floor, slowly and deliberately pushing a little skateboard up and down a little Tech Deck ramp, and I asked him if he had fun. He sighed. I asked him if we should invite the girls to his birthday party, and he didn't even look up at me when he said, "Mom, I think I have a crush on her." I said I thought he did, too, and he said, "But she's only seven. I'm going to have to be really nice to her, huh?"
Yes, kid, yes you are. I have a feeling it won't be all that hard for you to pull really nice off, though.
Reader Comments (34)
How stinkin' cute is that! Am I too old for your son? I mean 28 is the new 8 right?
That? Was lovely.
Also: awesome, in that 2of3 has aleady figured out things that some men never learn in a lifetime.
I love this post. I hope you have a plug-in for the day you have to change everybody's pseudonyms to xof4 so you won't have to do it manually in each post.
Too cute. But be careful about letting him share his tent with the girls without close supervision.
Just sayin'.
Hi,
This post is wonderful. I wish I could figure out my two kids as clearly as you have yours.
Care to spend some time with us in Vegas? Tutoring me
Love Love Love the note. OMG. How wonderful.
Good Luck with those two as their hormones start raging.
I dread the day when my kids start having crushes, simply because I don't also want them to have the heartbreak that sometimes comes with it. 2of3 sounds like he is growing up to be the kind of friend to other kids that will also make a wonderful boyfriend and someday husband, sweet, caring, sensitive, openly appreciative and communicative. Sure, I know some of those traits are innately his own, but some credit to the parental units for nurturing them as well.
Heh, thats really cool. I totally get and understand your 2of3 as well. I was a bit older when my parents made a large move and I don't think I ever really recovered. Lucky for him he's still in elementary school though and that makes a big difference.
Sounds like he's got some good lady skills too, better keep an eye on that boy! ;)
PS - That clock is awesome.
That letter-writing, wistful reminiscing, outdoor boardgame under the stars playing boy is awesome. I really need Fury to take some lessons from him. The best I got out of him so far is "she's a hottie." Yup. Aries.
So cute. Made my day.
It's awesome that you are able to know your boys so well. It's also very awesome that 2 of 3 gets it.
He sounds like such a sweet boy, and so well behaved just like 1 & 3of3. Why, I'd probably even let him date my girls. He sounds a lot like my oldest - very guarded, very sensitive. That's why we were surprised to hear her say that she and this boy she recently met would be friends forever, even after they were adults. (wink, wink)
I had one of those crushes.
It was 1982, I was 12, she was 13. We met in Jr. High and she was going out with my best friend.
Her name was Angie and I always called her Angel..
Still do actually. 28 years and three kids later. ;-)
Don't kid yourself by trying to tell yourself kids aren't able to form those kinds of bonds at this age.
Good luck with your... I'm *SO* not looking forward to going through it with my boys. :)
I'm an Aries, I can totally relate. The way you described him...I was like wait. Is she talking about meeee??
Sounds like he's a regular lady killer!
So, so, so sweet! My son (6) just entered the "ewwww girls" and "ewwww kissing" phase while my daughter (4) has already decided who she will marry. And I love both stages!
I finally saw the girl that my 10yo has had a crush on for 3 years. OMG she is cute as a button! No wonder he's never moved on.
I think that is wonderful, and I hope that his peers are never able to "shame" him out of being that way. What a lucky gal his lucky gal is going to be someday :)
That's an absolutely adorable story!
Young Love: http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/03/01/young-love-2/
I'd probably let my stepdaughter date this boy http://bit.ly/c7WbVz @MrLady
I'd probably let my stepdaughter date this boy http://bit.ly/c7WbVz @MrLady
How freakin' adorable is he? He's gonna be one of those guys who really knows how to treat a girl when he grows up! How cute!
You know I love your kids. But man, 2of3 is such a heart-thief. 3of3's sweet, and 1of3's super cool (in that nerd way, which is even cooler than cool), but 2of3 asking me to keep an origami frog, so I remembered him killed the contest. Like, I think he beat my kid out too.
Boy's gonna have a lot of heartbreak. But I think he's going to love falling in love so much.
My kid is in love: http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/03/01/young-love-2/
gawd, he is so precious.
too bad he's too young for roo.
or ... not. ;-)
one day, once the groundwork was laid could easily have read:
one day, once the playgroundwork was laid.
2of3 sounds like he's got the perfect combination of treating a lady no different than anyone else, yet somehow articulating that she's like no other. you'll either have a poet, a player, or, most likely both on your hands. that was a great post.
I assure you... there was much sighing on her part as well. She's only had one great love, but for him she wrote a love song. Your 2of3 seems much more worthy of a love song. Here's to AWESOME grandkids...
Awwww. That is just too damn cute. What a lad you're raising.
That's about the most genuine thing ever. Raising good kids is so hard, sounds like you're doing just fine.
That's pretty adorable. He's going to be a heartbreaker, or he'll be one of those guys (*ahem*) who is always the amazing male friend to women but doesn't get to be with them.
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He sounds like an absolute sweetheart. There is a boy in my daughter's kindergarten class like that. The thing is that the girl he loves only wants to be his friend and she has taken to hiding from him when his mom picks his sister up from the same class her brother is in. How do I know this? Because I am the girl's mother. Little Dude, my girl needs her personal space. It sounds like you've taught 2of3 to not hug and kiss girls unless they want him to.
So now I have a crush on you AND your son. Sigh.
1. That's freakin' adorable.
2. I hate thinking about my babies having crushes (even though, by their age, I had been brought to my knees by many boys)
3. The image of 2of3 and the girl in the tent brought back a lovely memory of a big lake party last year, when all kids, of all ages, joined together for one of the best times of their lives, without even trying.
So, thanks :)
aww. I love 2of3. (well, i mean, I love all your kids and stuff, but ... you know.)