;)
Wednesday
Mar032010
I Want To Be A Supermodel
Wednesday, March 3, 2010 at 10:07AM
My daughter, on occasion, does a little modeling. By modeling, I mean that she puts on a cute outfit sent to her by my friends that own a preemie and kids boutique online, she gets her hair brushed, and we go do something fun while I shove a camera in her face.
Truth is, this isn't unlike most days, except the "fun" is normally the "grocery store". Well, that and the hair brushing. I try to pick my battles.
I have ridiculously cute children, and I won't for a second play all modest like I don't think they are the most amazingly, heart-stoppingly beautiful things to ever grace this planet. I've often toyed with the idea of getting them into actual, real modeling, and I've gone so far as to ask a friend who knows about this stuff for advice on how to do it. But the thing is, I'm lazy. And I think my kids should get to be, too. And I worry about making them self-conscious about their looks, especially on the cusp of the ugly years.
No child goes through puberty gracefully. Fact. Why do you think the bible stops at Jesus' adolescence and picks back up in his 30's? Zits and oddly dispersed facial hair; no one is immune. Not even someone who thinks they're god.
So for now, I stick with the modeling that helps my friends out, that gets my daughter some stupidly cute outfits, and that lets me dabble in the one and only field of subjects that I am capable of taking decent pictures of. I'm no Secret Agent Mama, but I can take a mean picture of my kids when I have to.
Except when I screw my camera's setting up.
A new dress arrived last week for 3of3 to trounce around in, and this time we actually prepped for some cuteness. I harnessed my inner pageant-mom and subjected my daughter to unspeakable tortures in the name of fashion.
But it's not like I'm asking her to do anything I wouldn't do myself, so there's that.
And once she was all poofy, we went out. Normally, I have ridiculously good luck with her pictures. They just fall into place, even when I'm using a point and click camera.
Not this time. This time I took 250 pictures and she fed every duck south west of the Mississippi, even the dead one, which didn't bother her at all but bothered me a great big fat deal, and not one picture is usable. Because I never read the manual for my camera. I assumed the DSLR just ran on pride or something.
So now I get to learn how to fix whatever settings I've wacked out on my camera, and then we get to go feed more aminals today. Live ones, preferably. And though there aren't any pictures good enough for my buddy's spring campaign, with enough time and Picnik, there are a hell of a lot of pictures for her baby book.
This blog is her so totally her baby book. Shut up; you do it, too.
Truth is, this isn't unlike most days, except the "fun" is normally the "grocery store". Well, that and the hair brushing. I try to pick my battles.
I have ridiculously cute children, and I won't for a second play all modest like I don't think they are the most amazingly, heart-stoppingly beautiful things to ever grace this planet. I've often toyed with the idea of getting them into actual, real modeling, and I've gone so far as to ask a friend who knows about this stuff for advice on how to do it. But the thing is, I'm lazy. And I think my kids should get to be, too. And I worry about making them self-conscious about their looks, especially on the cusp of the ugly years.
No child goes through puberty gracefully. Fact. Why do you think the bible stops at Jesus' adolescence and picks back up in his 30's? Zits and oddly dispersed facial hair; no one is immune. Not even someone who thinks they're god.
So for now, I stick with the modeling that helps my friends out, that gets my daughter some stupidly cute outfits, and that lets me dabble in the one and only field of subjects that I am capable of taking decent pictures of. I'm no Secret Agent Mama, but I can take a mean picture of my kids when I have to.
Except when I screw my camera's setting up.
A new dress arrived last week for 3of3 to trounce around in, and this time we actually prepped for some cuteness. I harnessed my inner pageant-mom and subjected my daughter to unspeakable tortures in the name of fashion.
But it's not like I'm asking her to do anything I wouldn't do myself, so there's that.
And once she was all poofy, we went out. Normally, I have ridiculously good luck with her pictures. They just fall into place, even when I'm using a point and click camera.
Not this time. This time I took 250 pictures and she fed every duck south west of the Mississippi, even the dead one, which didn't bother her at all but bothered me a great big fat deal, and not one picture is usable. Because I never read the manual for my camera. I assumed the DSLR just ran on pride or something.
So now I get to learn how to fix whatever settings I've wacked out on my camera, and then we get to go feed more aminals today. Live ones, preferably. And though there aren't any pictures good enough for my buddy's spring campaign, with enough time and Picnik, there are a hell of a lot of pictures for her baby book.
This blog is her so totally her baby book. Shut up; you do it, too.
Reader Comments (50)
She is a great model. It made me buy 2 dresses. Well I will buy them once hubby check is deposited.
She's adorable and obviously has compassion for animals, dead or alive. She'll either be Miss America or a really pretty taxidermist. Either way, America wins.
1. I'm profoundly jealous of your ability to take such beautiful pics of your daughter. Mine all end up looking like slightly out-of-focus, red-eyed demonspawn. Not that the pictures are inaccurate, necessarily, but still.
2. "South of the Mississippi." That's a new one on me.
3. Y'ever read Christopher Moore's "Lamb?" It's a story of those lost Jesus years. There's ninjas and everything. It's awesome.
I would argue that The Gospel According To Jesus Christ is just about the finest accounting of the life and death of Jesus Christ. There's a LOT of sex. It's awesome.
But Lamb has Biff, Christ's best friend, to narrate the story! And ninjas! And sex!
She is BEAUTIFUL!
And that dress is so cute!
Totally off topic, but one time, I took Brynna to the park to feed the ducks and as Bob and I were standing, trying to block her from seeing the dead duck just under a tree, a big bunch of white ducks came out of the water and started attacking a brown duck and KILLED IT and then kept pecking. Like they were going to eat it. It was racist duck canibalism and it was scary as fuck. I'll never get over it and we haven't fed ducks since. Anywhere. Just in case.
You caught me. I do it too.
That dress is gorgeous. As is she.
Man *those* were the outtakes?!? Wow, you have some skilz there.
If I had daughters, I'd buy three of those dresses based on those photos alone. Hell, I might be talked into buying three and making my two sons dress in two of them and then pretend to fight over the third while trying to capture THAT on film.
Short of that, I'll also toss my opinion in on "Lamb" being a fun, ninjariffic read.
I think you did great! You wanna see my "little girl" pictures that my parents took in the late 50's? Not good.
Hey, no complaints here. I think using a blog as a baby book is a spectacular idea.
She is absolutely beautiful. I love the pictures!!
Wow. Those photos are stunning. Packing away my camera now.
It would be wrong to dress my son in one of those dresses just because I want to buy one, right? I would have to put more into his therapy, I mean COLLEGE fund.
I have thought about trying to get Cooper a modeling gig, but then that other thing in my life, called my full time job keeps getting in the way.
Ditto on the Lamb rec - it makes me laugh myself to tears every time I read it. "Look, a seagull!"
Oh, those are amazing. I was just wondering yesterday why you weren't posting photographs lately. The second one kills me.
P.S. Do they even make baby books anymore?
Yup.
:-)
She's beautiful! Almost makes me want to have a girl just to be able to buy dresses!
Yes, and resoundingly, http://titaniumpersonaltraining.blogspot.com/2010/01/decade-more-like-decathlon.html" rel="nofollow">YES I DO. Proud of it, too. Kids are strangers passing through and if we don't document the hell out of it, they are gone before we know that they were here.
God she is beautiful! I love the second to last pic (even though you can't see her face) Wow!
A supermodel, and a metric shitton of pictures. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/03/03/redsparks/
I'm so glad I'm not the first one to say "south of the Mississippi"???????
Honey, you're south of the Red. the one that separates your fair state from my fair state.
Heck, you're south of the Missouri, the Platte, the Canadian....but not the Mississippi.
And what was not usable about those pics? I guess I'm stupid or something, but I thought they were pretty good.
mr lady -- can you take beauty shots of me? thanks.
also: the husband used to book kids for commercials. ugly ugly business. just saying.
So pretty soon my little guy is also going to be able to grace the pages of said friend's gorgeous site, and I look at your pictures and cringe because even though I want to be you and very nearly begged this friend to please look at the pics I emailed him and tell me that he will use my kid (deep breath) and even though I *think* said friend is all like, "Tell her yes, dear wife, so she will leave me alone," even though he actually said to me "Whew, I am glad he really IS cute (as opposed to "only in your head because you are insane"), I see those pictures and despair.
Which is all the long way of saying well done; she is lovely.
WEST. I totally meant West.
Seriously, those toddler pageant mama's are scare-ree! I decided to watch one of those shows, for the first time, when my girls wandered in to see me as they were waiting on Daddy to read a bed time story...
I thought it would be a great opportunity to teach a lesson of some sort, I'm not sure which sort, but all they could see were sparkly dresses and make-up. HAHA!
Riiiiiight, my baby book. Which is why is posted my son's latest artwork on Monday. A colored sketch of a deer pooping. Some moms are luckier than others.
She is absolutely gorgeous!
Awesome pics there of 3of3. What did you get at Wal-Mart? I mean, you don't put on the good rollers to go grocery shoppin'...that had to be a wal-mart trip.
Oh, Mr. Lady, not only have you totally won me over with your awesomeness, but now you go and mention Jose Saramago and one of his best. Absolutely agree. Cheers to your gorgeous offspring and your badass, HTML/PHP-explainin' self!
The photos turned out great even if you were outsmarted by your camera.
3of3 is gorgeous! Along with your photos. (And, honestly, sometimes I think our cameras outsmart us all at some point, just to see if we're paying attention.)
Great. So now everyone thinks that you sent all these cool photos over and I just totally trashed em. Lovely.
PS. Thanks for taking them. Twice. :)
I am so interested in DSLRs now. Good cameras really make a difference. I love your effects, especially the B&W one that has a touch of colour.
Apparently, only Winnie the Pooh ones, to be found for $10.97 at Walmart.
One, where the heck does one find those kinds of rollers? All I can ever find are the foam crap ones.
Two, if you don't keep that dress forever and ever, can I puhleeze call dibs? I think it'll fit Z in like, two years. ;)
Three, your child(ren) are really, really ridiculously good looking
Just wondering if you knew about hot rollers BEFORE you moved to TX? Oh...and your daughter is edible. And I mean that in a non-canibally way.
I've read it three times (the first time while vacationing in Belize; I wondered if I laughed so much because I was
drunkon vacation, so I had to read it again when I got home) and I laugh till I cry each time. My husband did, too.Just an aside here--my granddaughter is a pageant queen, 10 now, started at 6 months. (Yes, I totally believe my daughter when she said that the baby insisted. *snork*) I've been to many pageants, tiny local and huge international, and those shows only touch the surface of the idiocy. Also, they make the bad look worse by the way they edit it.
My daughter's family was asked to be on the first Little Miss Perfect two years ago but they declined. She saw through the "oh, we're going to show the GOOD side of pageants". Funny, the girl my granddaughter has competed against many times was on that particular show instead; her mom was cast as The Bitch, but they did not even begin to show how awful she really is at the competitions. They also didn't say that the house with pool was rented and that they'd gone bankrupt, lost two houses and a car, and she's working at a convenience store. "While I finish my college education" my ass! All the while, they're spending thousands on each pageant.
My granddaughter only does one or two a year now, and my daughter makes all of her clothing for the things. A friend takes incredible photos for her. Still, I'm just as glad that they're not doing as many of those things now.
Wow if those are the out-takes...... lovely photos, lovely clothes, and gorgeous girl!
Oh, another reason you're burning in hell! "Why do you think the bible stops at Jesus’ adolescence and picks back up in his 30’s?"
Of course, I'll see you there as I'm taking too much joy in that statement.
the two of you look so much alike! she has a lot to look forward to in growing up. i just got a SLR that i absolutely LOVE but have no clue what i'm doing with so i've been having the same issues. i actually thought those pics you took were lovely though, especially the sepia tinted one.
Dude! I love your photography. Just so you know!
Beautiful girl. Just like her ma!
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Those photos are beautiful! Are those the retakes? If not, I think you may be crazy (...er than usual...I say it with love) ;) Beautiful shots though, I love them. :)
She's beautiful. Adore those last few pictures. Dam it, now I need to go dress shopping. ;)
I want to see more of that old lady in the curlers.
I don't make out with non-hot women so it just goes to reason your kids would be spectacular.
BUT..what I really wanted to comment on was this:
"No child goes through puberty gracefully. Fact. Why do you think the bible stops at Jesus’ adolescence and picks back up in his 30’s?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!