;)
Thursday
Jul152010
How to Fail at Homeopathy in 10 Easy Steps
Thursday, July 15, 2010 at 6:04PM
1. Acquire ear infection.
2. Ignore ear infection.
3. Get driven mad by ear infection.
4. Pour half a bottle of hydrogen peroxide down ear.
5. Open and close jaw, letting the peroxide get all the way into brain.
6. Remain seated with head at 90 degree angle from body until all the bubbles stop.
7. Rinse.
8. Repeat.
9. Stick Qtip into ear. Like, all the way in. Like, brain matter in.
10. Swab out perohmygodthereisadeadbuginmyearcanaloxide.
2. Ignore ear infection.
3. Get driven mad by ear infection.
4. Pour half a bottle of hydrogen peroxide down ear.
5. Open and close jaw, letting the peroxide get all the way into brain.
6. Remain seated with head at 90 degree angle from body until all the bubbles stop.
7. Rinse.
8. Repeat.
9. Stick Qtip into ear. Like, all the way in. Like, brain matter in.
10. Swab out perohmygodthereisadeadbuginmyearcanaloxide.
Reader Comments (40)
OH MY HOLY HELL
that is one of my greatest eeew fears...
GASP
With the peroxide hitting the brain, did you suddenly know all the lyrics to Eminem's music?
Hehe, you've got bugs. Glad its out though.
oh. goodness. did you have to...?
I could say something here, but I will be nice and not.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by mrlady, Luke Glasner. Luke Glasner said: RT @mrlady: Really, this could have just been a tweet. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/07/15/ewww/ (LG: Always good for a laugh) [...]
What kind of bug? And do you think it was already dead, or did you kill it with the hydrogen peroxide?
haha
Oh my! At least it's out.
OH. MY. GOD. What kinda bug was it, exactly? My fear is I'd find a cockroach in my ear. Did wake up with an earwig in my hair once. Think the neighbors are still deaf from the screaming.
You made me spit coffee all over my laptop. Sounds like my life
GACK.
Dammit. Now how am I supposed to track your movements? If you're going to telecommute, there are just some things you have to deal with.
Really, this could have just been a tweet. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/07/15/ewww/
Hrnk. *Gag* Ughhh...
RT @mrlady: Really, this could have just been a tweet. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/07/15/ewww/ (LG: Always good for a laugh)
RT @mrlady: Really, this could have just been a tweet. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/07/15/ewww/
Whuuuut? Srsly? WHUUUUUT?!
Also: that would never happen in Vancouver. ;) (Hahahahaha! Right.)
Oh my holy hell on earth, my skin will never stop crawling. I would have survived much better thinking that had to be a myth since it had never happened to anyone I know. Thanks for that.
Oh no! I think you need to get to the Drs before you pull your brains out with the q-tip! OUCH!
That's why I drink - a lot!
OMG! Really? This is too gross. I once used the q-tip way too far and injured my ear drum. It wa horrible. :)
No more venturing outside for you, young lady!
EWWW! EWWW! EWWWW! Remind me never to stick my tongue in your ear. EWWW! EWWW! EWWW!
Sooooooo happened to me, potato bug... thought I was going mad.
Your new theme song.
http://s0.ilike.com/play#Pearl+Jam:Bugs:16233:m1388097
So when she says "bug"... it your tracking device? I like the way you roll.
Gotta be able to find her for Scotch Weds? =) Really Whiskey Wed would be more bestest... =P
Dear God in Heaven. *shudder*
I guess that means it didn't succeed in eating its way through your brain.
Unless, of course, it started from the other side.
That's kind of awesome. I went to the ER once (twice) for a bug in my nose. They told me I was having psychological problems. Yes, but I still had a bug in my nose.
You had me running into the night screaming at "dead bug in ear". Yeeeeks.
Eeeww!! Seriously a bug?!
Thanks. Gonna have sweet dreams tonight.
I've heard of people being driven insane by such a thing. I've got to stop reading the Enquirer in the grocery line.
When I lived in Hawaii, one of my co-workers told me that she was half Chinese and that she and her family slept on mats on the floor. She explained that there were a lot of trips to get cockroaches removed from ear canals. "They have no mechanism for moving backward; they aren't able to back up, they only go forward."
I could only stand there, gape-mouthed and horrified. Totally lost my words. Very few things give me the heebs and roaches are at the top of that list. To have one in your EAR? Surely I would go stark-raving-running-nekkid-down-the-street.
She went on to remind me of how tough cockroaches are to kill. I swear I saw a glint of glee in her eye when she leaned in conspiratorially, wrinkled her nose, and said to me, "So you have to sit and feel it going crazy and moving around in there until the people at the hospital can attend to you."
I would carve my ear off, I'm sure of it.
Dunno what I am more disturbed about, the fact you poured Hydrogen Peroxide in your ear or that you found a bug.
Did you keep it? Send it with the kids for show and share at school? Where are the damn photos? You CALL YOURSELF A BLOGGER?
what kind of bug? Holy crap! I wish you took pictures of it, i would then be able to use it in some way to torture my kids.
I have to ask ...was Hydrogen Peroxide the first thing you could lay your hands on or is that a prescribed treatment for ear trouble ?????? I still learn something new every day !!
Whoa....wait, a bug in your ear!!! And no pictures!!!! A tragedy. You could have at least drawn it in MS Paint....like a recreation.
ha, recreation....or re-creation....sigh. regardless, this is a great story and I'm glad you're feeling better.
I shouldn't say this, but when I read "acquire an ear infection" I laughed. Can't tell you why, but there is something kind of funny about it.
Anyhoo, hope that all feels much better now.
I think I love you!
Okay, this made me think of that old Star Trek movie where the earwig crawls into Spock's ear...
~*shudders*~
Glad your ears are sqeaky clean and bug-free, no exterminator required. And I actually think you may have aced homeopathy since no medical prfessionals were consulted ('cause if they had bee, no Q-tips would have been in your ear canal. They're all anal about that!)
Um..no. In vancouver there would have been a random homeless person in her ear. ;-)