;)
Tuesday
Aug032010
I Am Truly My Brother's Keeper, and a Finder of Lost Animals
Tuesday, August 3, 2010 at 9:41AM
I know it happens nationwide, but in Denver, we had something of an epidemic blow through our oxygen-deprived city about a decade ago, which made women think it was a fine idea to leave their newborns behind dumpsters all over the city. They passed a law (nationally, maybe?) that if you brought a newborn into a hospital, you could leave it at the counter and walk away, no questions asked. This lead to a rash of babies getting left in boxes outside the hospital, mostly because people are chicken-shit assholes who cannot follow simple hospital procedures.
Either way, I had this habit of walking through alleys, not around them, just checking. Because as much as I don't want to be pregnant ever again, if you leave a baby in my path, I will keep that baby and hug it and squeeze it and call it George and it will be mine. Do unto others and all.
Turns out, where I live now, there is an epidemic sweeping through my humidity-rich city of people dumping their dogs in neighborhoods that look like the kinds of neighborhoods where suckers live who will take those dogs in and give them a new home. Mostly because people are chicken-shit assholes who cannot follow simple pound procedures.
Of course, I didn't know about this and I wasn't looking for this but I am a sucker for a wet nose and big brown eyes, especially when it follows me and my daughter and my Plant Stand Fail home on particularly picturesque suburban evenings.
It poked its head out from behind someone's trash can and just stared at us. I figured it was just lost. It stopped digging in the trash and gave us that little cocked-head-tilt puppy dog stare. It wasn't starving, just a little dirty. It cowered over to us and gave kisses while we pet it. It wasn't defensive, just a little wary. I looked all over for it's owners, but there was no one.
So I carried it home. Don't you judge me. I carried it home slowly and deliberately, the long way, making eye contact with everyone I passed, looking for any signs of an open front or back door, hoping to find this dog's home because I'm not totally bright, but I'm not dumb enough to not know what was coming.
I let it inside the house and it went directly on the couch, into 3of3's lap, and then to sleep. My current dog? Thinks 3of3 is her personal chew toy. To have a dog climb in her lap and fall asleep was every little girl dream she'd ever had come true. And when Plant Stand Fail finally came over for her nightly nibble of 3of3's toes? That stray dog more or less ripped her throat out.
Houston, we have a bodyguard.
That stray dog didn't leave 3of3's side for two days. We took him for a long walk, then let him off the leash in the hopes he'd lead us to his home. He bolted...to 3of3. And followed her home. He climbed in her bed and stayed there all night. He climbed in her lap the next morning and stayed there all day. He got back in her bed the next night. He made friends with Plant Stand Fail and taught her how to strategically catch toads out back. He watched movies with me at night. He taught my dog that biting sucks ass. He totally stole our hearts.
And two days after we found him, I took him to the vet to scan him for a microchip. Not only wasn't there one, there was another couple at the vet who had a healthy, slightly dirty, well behaved cocker spaniel with no tags and no chip that had followed them home in the neighborhood next to mine. We all talked to the vet and discovered that yup, someone or someones have been dumping dogs in our area.
This is your classic case of Be Careful What You Wish For.
Now I have three toads, one lizard and two dogs. All of which we found outside while we were looking for something else entirely. Which is only funny because that's more or less how I found my husband, too, and that got me three kids. Who led me to the dogs and the toads and the lizard. Which is why I also have 50+ crickets, which is only funny because I can't bring myself to feed them to the toads or the lizard. Which is where the children come in.
Which is what they call, in the scientific world, The Circle of Life.
Either way, I had this habit of walking through alleys, not around them, just checking. Because as much as I don't want to be pregnant ever again, if you leave a baby in my path, I will keep that baby and hug it and squeeze it and call it George and it will be mine. Do unto others and all.
Turns out, where I live now, there is an epidemic sweeping through my humidity-rich city of people dumping their dogs in neighborhoods that look like the kinds of neighborhoods where suckers live who will take those dogs in and give them a new home. Mostly because people are chicken-shit assholes who cannot follow simple pound procedures.
Of course, I didn't know about this and I wasn't looking for this but I am a sucker for a wet nose and big brown eyes, especially when it follows me and my daughter and my Plant Stand Fail home on particularly picturesque suburban evenings.
It poked its head out from behind someone's trash can and just stared at us. I figured it was just lost. It stopped digging in the trash and gave us that little cocked-head-tilt puppy dog stare. It wasn't starving, just a little dirty. It cowered over to us and gave kisses while we pet it. It wasn't defensive, just a little wary. I looked all over for it's owners, but there was no one.
So I carried it home. Don't you judge me. I carried it home slowly and deliberately, the long way, making eye contact with everyone I passed, looking for any signs of an open front or back door, hoping to find this dog's home because I'm not totally bright, but I'm not dumb enough to not know what was coming.
I let it inside the house and it went directly on the couch, into 3of3's lap, and then to sleep. My current dog? Thinks 3of3 is her personal chew toy. To have a dog climb in her lap and fall asleep was every little girl dream she'd ever had come true. And when Plant Stand Fail finally came over for her nightly nibble of 3of3's toes? That stray dog more or less ripped her throat out.
Houston, we have a bodyguard.
That stray dog didn't leave 3of3's side for two days. We took him for a long walk, then let him off the leash in the hopes he'd lead us to his home. He bolted...to 3of3. And followed her home. He climbed in her bed and stayed there all night. He climbed in her lap the next morning and stayed there all day. He got back in her bed the next night. He made friends with Plant Stand Fail and taught her how to strategically catch toads out back. He watched movies with me at night. He taught my dog that biting sucks ass. He totally stole our hearts.
And two days after we found him, I took him to the vet to scan him for a microchip. Not only wasn't there one, there was another couple at the vet who had a healthy, slightly dirty, well behaved cocker spaniel with no tags and no chip that had followed them home in the neighborhood next to mine. We all talked to the vet and discovered that yup, someone or someones have been dumping dogs in our area.
This is your classic case of Be Careful What You Wish For.
Now I have three toads, one lizard and two dogs. All of which we found outside while we were looking for something else entirely. Which is only funny because that's more or less how I found my husband, too, and that got me three kids. Who led me to the dogs and the toads and the lizard. Which is why I also have 50+ crickets, which is only funny because I can't bring myself to feed them to the toads or the lizard. Which is where the children come in.
Which is what they call, in the scientific world, The Circle of Life.
Reader Comments (48)
LOL
I am such a sucker for those eyes. Thankfully, hubby is stronger than I am or we'd have a menagerie.
I have one word for you: SUCKA.
so um... where are the pics of this wet nosed, big eyed cutie?
This is exactly why I can't volunteer at the ASPCA. I already have 2 dogs a cat and someone else's tortoise. I have an addiction to Cute.
This is why my husband no longer walks around our small town. Cats follow him home. And I keep them. But he cleans the litter box(es). So, win-win for me. ;)
I am sorry that your new dog was dumped by someone, but I think he is very happy he found his forever home with your family. And that is one very handsome dog.
I try hard not to look too closely outside, or I too, would have a housefull of 4 legged friends :)
Due to aging out or moving out with grown kids, I've gone from 5 adoptees to 2. My latest endeavor I was "browsing" the Humane Society web page. 24 hours later I had added the cutest mutt to my home!
Very hard to turn down wet noses and puppy eyes :)
Could have been worse, it could have been a rabies-inflicted, mangy dog. =)
God, he's adorable. You were a goner from the moment he chose you.
I am all sniffly yet again. You obviously needed each other, even if you didn't know it. <3
I am right there with 3of3; I always wanted a dog that would curl up in my lap and just love me. There's nothing like taking care of one of those little guys when they're lost. Glad you found him!
I love your big heart. We need more of those...oh.. and shotguns to point at the idiots who abandon animals and small children...oh...or leave them in locked cars.
Are ya with me?
Love this story. At least you took in a sweet and lovable dog.
last month we inherited a stray cat- who announced his desire to be a part of our pack loudly and often for several days. He has clearly been someones cat- as he is completely comfortable being a big family with a dog and 2 other cats. Housebroken and well mannered (mostly) He takes nightly walks with the dog- shares food and laps. People are rotten sometimes.
Confessions of an Animal Hoarder...that would be me if the good Lord would have graced me with the luck to come across stray animals. I haven't peeped any so no hoarding for me.
Congrats on the newest family member!
You are like a Snow White who cusses. Awesome.
that's why i won't let my nephew get a snake. oh god with the baby meeses (that's plural for mouse)!!
Hello, and welcome to MrLady's Nature Emporium!
I'm actually not a dog person at all. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/08/03/stray-dog/
Awww, poor puppers. Glad he found y'all, because it sounds like he fits right in :)
Beautiful post RT @mrlady I'm actually not a dog person at all. http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2010/08/03/stray-dog/
I'm a sucker too, which is why I have my current menagerie (3 dogs, 4 cats, two chickens and two horses) and will likely become the crazy neighborhood cat lady at some point in my life.
Its a gift, really. Treasure it. The ability to be sucked up to by puppy eyes means that one day when your children grow up, go off and leave you, you'll still have someone to mother.
Oh my gosh! I love your new family member. I don't think he could be any more adorable. Thank you for taking him in and making him yours. He's precious.
And you are funny. Glad I wondered over here from redneckmommy's twitter. I'll be staying awhile.
Awwwww I'd cave too. What an adorable little face!
I CHOSE to have three dogs, but stumbled into the whole parenthood thing. The universe works in mysterious ways.
There is no way in hell that dog would ever leave my side.
For fucks sake, I just told a spider in my closet who was on it's back that I would flip it over if he would just disappear.
And I did...And he did
I love the cycle.
I grew up on Monty Python, sadly I've forgotten way more than I remember!
Also? Do NOT eat the salmon mousse.
Such a sweet heart you have. That little dog IS quite cute, though. What'd you name him?
What a pretty puppy! What's his/her name?
my shittyass neighbor Jill moved to have her "dream home" built, moving into a rental house for a year. That was the "excuse" she gave me, when I tracked her down a month after she moved, to ask her "why are both your cats still here in this neighborhood, and in my backyard?" She's hemmed and hawed,and I just flat out asked her if I could keep them, "adopt" them, so to speak. That bitch said yes.
So, I found myself a cat owner/lover, quite by accident, not on purpose, but my sweet "Fozzie" (her name for him, not mine) kitty is sleeping on the outdoor table while I type this on my laptop. He's 16 yrs young now, and I luff him. The other cat that was "thrown away" by this idiotbitch Jill, was hit by a car, 4 weeks after she "gave" him to me . . . his leg had to be amputated, and he needed to be an inside cat only, so I found him another home.
People who dump critters should be castrated. Maybe then they'd feel somewhat similar pain to which they have created by abandoning a helpless creature. My hates for these type people is beyond description. There is NO excuse! NONE!
Heehee. i love this post. well, i love all of them. but maybe i'm about to start my girly monthly time or something b/c it even gave me a cryball in my throat. You're heart is so big and when i grow up, i wanna be a mama just like you. <3 Miss you.
lovely post ............feelin all warm now !!
Luckily, all the dogs who wander in my yard only stop to make deposits. Well, sorta of luckily.
And, sweetie, that dog has some good taste. Enjoy him and keep him close.
We need pictures of 3of3 and her bodyguard!
In January, a woman I work with showed me a pic of a pit/bird dog mix that was scheduled to be put down in the morning. Needless to say, I brought her home. Mr Realist wasn't happy at first, but we ended up finding her a home.
I want to junkpunch people who abandon animals. Course, we wouldn't have the two fabulous mutts we do if they hadn't. All they need is food and water, shelter and LOVE. Which they get in spades.
LOL!
We brought home a stray (from the pound) and it immediately adopted my youngest (also a girl).
If anybody hugs her, the dog goes nuts and howls. I told hubby, "We need to keep this dog alive until she starts dating!"
We'll position him on the front porch and when her date moves in for the kiss at the end of the date, the dog will start howling and hubby can rip open the door (shotgun in hand, I live in TX too), yank daughter in, and glare at the Boy.
Bwhahwahh
Is it weird that the idea of my bringing home a stray dog makes me twitchy, but the idea of possibly bringing home a stray baby makes me feel kind of happy?
My kids, of course, would much prefer I bring home a dog. Soon.
No judgement on you here. Big applause for taking in the new bodyguard. Judgement is reserved for the losers who are dumped him and his other friends.
Awe, that's fantastic! Being a super dog lover, I would totally do the same. (yes, I am crazy...like I could handle yet another mouth to feed?! But alas, puppy dog eyes do something to me)
Good on you!
He looks adorable, and it sounds like he's got a wonderful new home - with a definite favourite!
See. Proof. Though you talk a hard game, you are a total pushover. Love that 3of3 has a bodyguard now. That's all kinds of awesome.
Ha. I'd call you names like everyone else (sucka and such) BUT. I'm with you. Googly eyes and all that.
There is a special place for those who take care of pets.
Please tell me you called him George...
HAHA awww. I wish we could have a dog. I'd totally get a pug. :) But that dog is CUTE!! Is he one of those little ones? Awww :)
That law really affected me too.
I once had a dog. It would sit on my head in the manner of a hat. Then, one tragic day, I placed it in the washing machine.
Well, it happens. I got two dump-off dogs and two rescue cats.
In my case, as you know, I live way in the woods. So, I’m prime for dump offs. In my case, I throw rocks at them at first and chase them off the property. The last dog ran up under the house. I threw a rock at her under the house and the rock skipped and went flying dead-ass perfect into a plastic water pipe and cracked it almost in half. Guess who spent quality time lying next to me as I lay on my back fixing the pipe under the house – in January? If the dog passes all those series of rejections then and only then they have earned their rightful place in front of the fireplace. I feed them little treats like Beef Bourguignon, BBQ Rib Eye smothered in melted Blue Cheese (dogs like cheese, scientific fact). I go, “Chesses, that was good.”
Does finding a wife behind a dumpster on the internet count? I swear, my only goal was to turn her into my sex slave. But…
Such a cute, hilarious, wonderful post that makes me want to adopt another pup! Thank you for this @MrLady! -N http://bit.ly/ap8qH3