;)
Wednesday
Sep082010
And So It Goes
Wednesday, September 8, 2010 at 8:05PM
This is my very last review-on-another-page post. That really isn't of relevance to anyone but me, but it bears mentioning.
Last week, I took all of my ads down on my blog, but I had already agreed to do one last sponsored post for BlogHer, and I wasn't about to pass the chance up. Why? Because the company we worked with on this campaign isn't afraid of women who swear. In fact, they kind of salute it, in a funny sort of way.
I knew when I started this blog thing that if I ever wanted to make a dime off of it, I'd have to curtail the potty mouth. Ultimately, I decided that saying [insert favorite expletive here] was more important to me that making money off the internet. Because I say [insert favorite expletive here] a lot in real life, and I don't have much interest in pretending to be something I'm not online. So I've spent the better part of six years being told that, "Hey, we'd love to work with you!" and a week later getting a follow up email that says, "But you just say fuck too much."
Which irks me. Because I honestly have only met one mom at all, in my whole life, who truly doesn't say any swear words, on or offline. And I think she may be a saint or something. Even my puritan right wing radical Christian cult bible humping mother said a swear word a handful of times over the course of our childhoods. Not all moms are perfect. Not all moms strive for absolute cookie cutter perfect. I'd argue that most don't, actually. But I get the distinct impression that companies want to work with parents because we bring this thing, this corner of the internet, to their table, but they want us to do it completely on their very unrealistic, disingenuous terms. Which, no.
So when I get approached to work with a company who's primary marketing piece to parents is called Dickhead? The only question I have for them is, "Where do I sign?"
For old time's sake, I threw the post up on a review page. Which now looks exactly like this one. I never pretended to make any sense, either. We're talking about your finest parenting moments. And by finest, I mean in-quotes-finest. Pop on over; there are goodies to be had.
And I'll start...Did I ever tell you 2of3's first word was shit? That's pretty tame, actually, compared to his first sentence.
Last week, I took all of my ads down on my blog, but I had already agreed to do one last sponsored post for BlogHer, and I wasn't about to pass the chance up. Why? Because the company we worked with on this campaign isn't afraid of women who swear. In fact, they kind of salute it, in a funny sort of way.
I knew when I started this blog thing that if I ever wanted to make a dime off of it, I'd have to curtail the potty mouth. Ultimately, I decided that saying [insert favorite expletive here] was more important to me that making money off the internet. Because I say [insert favorite expletive here] a lot in real life, and I don't have much interest in pretending to be something I'm not online. So I've spent the better part of six years being told that, "Hey, we'd love to work with you!" and a week later getting a follow up email that says, "But you just say fuck too much."
Which irks me. Because I honestly have only met one mom at all, in my whole life, who truly doesn't say any swear words, on or offline. And I think she may be a saint or something. Even my puritan right wing radical Christian cult bible humping mother said a swear word a handful of times over the course of our childhoods. Not all moms are perfect. Not all moms strive for absolute cookie cutter perfect. I'd argue that most don't, actually. But I get the distinct impression that companies want to work with parents because we bring this thing, this corner of the internet, to their table, but they want us to do it completely on their very unrealistic, disingenuous terms. Which, no.
So when I get approached to work with a company who's primary marketing piece to parents is called Dickhead? The only question I have for them is, "Where do I sign?"
For old time's sake, I threw the post up on a review page. Which now looks exactly like this one. I never pretended to make any sense, either. We're talking about your finest parenting moments. And by finest, I mean in-quotes-finest. Pop on over; there are goodies to be had.
And I'll start...Did I ever tell you 2of3's first word was shit? That's pretty tame, actually, compared to his first sentence.
Reader Comments (20)
My two year old currently runs around saying, "CHICKEN BOOBS" at the top of his lungs, a phrase that is courtesy of his nine year old sister.
And that Dickhead spot is just pure awesome.
My Louisiana says damnit and uses it properly.
"Lulu time for bed honey..."
"Damnit."
She's two.
Oh fuck.
Saying fuck feels good.
xo lady
Oops.
Can I swear in your comments???
Cause you know I could have done some of this *@#!
It's sort of mandatory, dude.
About fucking time you saw sense.
Moments of clarity are the best. Here is my obligatory foul mouthed utterance.... "Fuck"
I've given up trying to get my kids to stop swearing, at least in front of me, since I can't shut my potty mouth. I guess cracking off 'that's what she said' jokes with my son is not very motherly either.
My Sisters-in-law decided to try to bribe my daughter to cuss (sing all the lyrics to "I'm on a Boat").
No parents around and she still wouldn't even do it for $20. (color me a little proud)
Just waiting... It took me til 8th grade, and then I still wouldn't even think about saying anything in front of adults.
Fact: I have an allergy to swearing in writing. IT'S TRUE. I can cuss out loud (not all that often, to be honest, because I am LAME and DORKY), but I cannot get myself to type the letters. It's so weird.
My mother harbored fears for years that my first word would be shit, spoken loudly and in context in front of her parents. Instead, I was 13 before I accidentally yelled FUCK in front of my grandma. It was a great moment.
My daughter's first sentence was "Ernie goes down on Bert." Yeah. She was watching Sesame Street with her dad. That didn't quite make it into the baby book.
I just took down the BlogHer ads from my blog as well. I've been doing a lot of reviews and found that half of my traffic was being diverted off from pages w/ads. Not worth it anymore.
You know you have to tell us 2of3's first sentence.. I'm dying to know.
I don't cuss alot on the internet. Protecting my goodie two shoes image I guess? In reality, I don't cuss alot in real life unless you know me.. Then *fuck* is in at least 1 sentence per hour.
OK I just wrote like 2 more paragraphs and realized I'm turning your comments into a blog post.. Oops
"Oh Shit!" was used by my then less than one year old daughter when she knocked over the clothes rack. Better than my "Fuck off" at less then two years ;-)
I fucking love YOU and I don't even know you. But true story..Those first four words are inscribed in platinum in my husbands wedding band. Because I AM CLASSY! (with a c not a k tyvm)
XOXO
You know, I don't care what does it for you. I enjoy your humor and your take on life. And I'd really appreciate it if you'd get off your ass and blog more often, even if it's about bricks.
:)
I try to only swear in my mass emails to the Polite Fiction team. I'm such an effin' sheep.
My cousin NEVER swears. Like never. Like is almost offended by it. It cracks me up. Fuck dat!!
My 2nd didn't have a curse word as her first word, but I will never forget her, in her three-year old little way coming to me and handing me a sippy cup ... and saying "mommy give me some f*#cking juice!" I look down and a huge grin goes across her face ... she knew what she had said ... and we both just cracked up ... I have a potty mouth, both on and offline and I'm not willing to compromise it either!
Having so many of my family read my blog has been a real downer. I can't be myself as much I'd like to, including the occasional fuck bomb and sex talk. Goof thing I have your comments section.:D
Now you have met another mom and grandma who has never ever said a swear word. And I have no religious affiliation, just pride.