I was supposed to start college in the fall.

That's not going to happen now.

I am willing to work 2 or 3 nights a week at the bar (I have a job, did I ever mention that?) but I strongly feel the need to be around for the kids non-school years. Yet I am still thinking about what I'd like to go to school for. Here are my interests:
  1. Social Work. Or at risk child work. Specifically with deaf children. This goes back directly to my childhood-living in an abusive home, being on welfare, having a deaf sister, dealing with the shitty system...
  2. Something else in sign language. Something involving "the greater good" preferably.
  3. Profiling serial killers. Hey, we all have a dream.
  4. Teaching high school English. Include in that running a drama department. I know this is shocking considering my consistent lack of punctuation and capitalization, but I actually know more than you'd think.
  5. Teaching 7th grade English. Don't ask me why. I couldn't really answer you. I just think it's a really important age to have a great teacher. I had a great 7th grade English teacher. He saved my life.
  6. Cutting hair. I know, I know....I just really love it. And I ain't half bad.
  7. Culinary school. My concern with that is that I love love love to cook, and I'm really freakin' good already, and when your passion becomes your job, sometimes the passion fades. It's the only hobby I have left.
  8. Carpentry. When I have the means and the time, my garage will become a woodshop. I will hand-craft peculiar coffee tables. I have lots of designs already.

Is there a profession that combines all of these?