new diet plan

I gave blood today for the first time. I lost a pound and helped save 3 lives. Hell, at that rate I could give blood every day and be down to my pre-baby weight in only...well, um...hmm, wow, that would still take a really long time. I'll have to rethink that one.

a post in to parts (cause they're both too good to pass on)

Part One: A very young lady was perched at my bar tonight droning on to her two companions about something or the other. She got very loud at the part where she explained how she needed "more that sexual compatibility, or even intellectual compatibility, but something much more." Like what, her companions inquired. Like commitment, she replied.

She said all this whilst wearing a skirt so incredibly short that I could see the design on her panties. Clearly. From several feet away.


Part Two: There are, like, 10 people from Delaware, and of those I'd guess maybe 4 have made it out. One of us is sitting here, blogging at three in the morning. Another one of us is running for the presidency in 2008.

I can't wait to vote for this guy.

pros and cons

I know, I think I am funnier than I actually am.

Anyway, the pros and cons of moving to Canada. Go ahead and freak the fuck out, Molly. It's a distinct possibility.

  • it's not Denver
  • water everywhere
  • very pretty
  • really far from my mother
  • Jen A. from high school will NEVER guess to call Canadian information to find my phone number
  • Maria O, same comment
  • get to say eh? alot
  • molsen
  • George W. someone else's problem
  • cheap drugs
  • will find out if the fleshy-headed mutant is indeed friendly
  • hockey
  • mounties are sexy
  • the whole promotion-raise-quality of life thing
  • my liberal pansy socialist state dreams will come true (according to my tight assed republican brother)
  • prime minister sounds tasty. I'll have mine medium with mashed potatoes.


  • It's really far from everyone I do like
  • I sound like an idiot when I say eh?
  • the Chinese baby is coming
  • L's godfather will miss her first steps and her first birthday
  • no friends there
  • molsen
  • matt stone and trey parker will blame me
  • flesh headed mutant may indeed turn out to be quite unfriendly
  • largest Asian population outside of China, if I heard correctly. Not a problem on its own, but the not-so-efficiently deleted cookies on my computer betray something of an obsession with Asian women on the part of someone in this house. There's a reason I don't move to the Isle of Cream Cheese and Chocolate Truffles. Temptation is a bitch.
  • winter. I have spent 14 years dreaming of moving far far away from snow and mountains. Okay, let's move to Canada!

I think that's it. Feel free to add your thoughts.

i am the best mother ever

...or quite possibly the worst mother ever. I'm not quite sure.

B was working on his spelling homework, doing the part where he has to put his spelling words into sentences. He was having trouble with "powerless". I asked him if he knew what it meant and he said that it meant "when your house was out of power, or something like that." In hopes of helping him find a new meaning for the word, I called him into his room. I sat him down on the bed and told him to pay close attention as I explain what powerless means. I then proceeded to tickle the crap out of him. As he was laughing his little butt of, I asked if he could stop me. He tried really hard to say no in between laughs. I said, "So you are what? Come on, you can figure this out. You arrrrreee....?"

When I stopped tickling him he kept right on laughing all the way out to the kitchen table, where he wrote a lovely sentence explaining how when your are being tickled and can't stop the person from tickling you, you are powerless.