One: This guy keeps showing up at my door. The first time, he was trying to get me to buy a magazine to get kids off of drugs. I was nicer than I ought to have been, but still sent him a'packin. A few days later, I realize that he lives across the yard from me. A few days later, he bums a smoke from me (totally acceptable, we all do it eventually) and introduces me to his girlfriend, who lives in the apartment with him. He talks to me as if we'd grown up together or something, which is either very nice or VERY creepy. Maybe I really am Martha Stewart, but I just feel like there should be some formality with people you don't know. Turns out, he in crashing with his girlfriend who is crashing with her friend in the apartment across the yard from me. OK. Who am I to judge moochers and their moochie ways? Anyway, I keep seeing him and I keep going out of my way to avoid him and he keeps talking to me like we're BFF's or something. Today, L and I were having lunch and I see him hovering outside my patio door. NO ONE is allowed to hover outside my door. He waves at me to come to the door, and like an idiot, I do. He has a mouth full of gauze from a dental appointment and in very garbled language tries to tell me that he has locked himself out and needs help getting in. I can't even imagine the look I shot him. He tries to explain that the sliding glass door is ajar and all he needs is a stick of some sort to pry it open. I look around and to my total shock we don't have one stick laying around. We usually have 5, 672. I wish him good luck but tell him I can't help him. He asks for a broom. Fuck. A broom I have. I give it to him and lock the door behind me. He comes back a few minutes later, to my patio door, not the front door like a stranger should, with the broom and tries to tell me that it didn't work but a bedroom window is propped open and that maybe he can get in that way. Again, I wish him luck and lock the door, again. He comes BACK a few minutes later and without a word hands me his cell phone. Like, we just stole your kids ransom-style hands me a phone. Dummy here takes the phone and on the other end is a woman who tells me that he has indeed locked himself out and that he thought I should know he was going to try to break in her window.
Motherfuckers, I don't give a fuck. I am trying to have lunch. Leave me the fuck alone.
He comes back again a minute later and gives me the thumbs-up through the window. This time I don't open the door. I do, however, close the blinds. I am sitting here waiting for him to come kill us and steal our stuffed animals.
See, the thing is, there is no way for me to know whether or not he has pissed off the woman who actually holds the lease and was thrown out and is now trying to break back in to wear her undies and poison her cat. I find it unbelievably rude that off all the people in this neighborhood, I am the one he chose to bother with his adventures in breaking-and-entering. If you are a 6'7" man trying to do something questionable at best, you ask a dude to help you. You don't ask the little blond helpless mom.
Am I right?
Two: I found my brother on MySpace. This may not seem like a dilemma to you, but let me give you the back-story. (Yes, I drone on this much in real life, too). My dad met a girl after he left my mom and they had two sons. When the boys were 3 and 5, their mom decided she had taken all she was going to take from my dad and took off in the middle of the night. She kept the boys from my dad, and after all of 2 weeks trying to see them, he gave up. Shortly thereafter, he moved to Denver and he always figured they'd look him up when they were ready. The thing is, we don't know if they even know his name. Their mom HATES my dad and did everything she could to keep them away from him. I ran into them at the grocery 15 years ago and they had no idea who I was.
So, bored out of my skull a while back I looked up the older one. He's the one I remember most clearly. He was my very favorite sibling. And I found him. A bit later, I sent him a little friend request, with no explanation, no nothing. Just "Will you be my e-friend?" Last night, he accepted it. There is no way he knows who I am or why I sent this, but I looked through his pictures, and yep, he is indeed my brother. I'd know that face anywhere.
What do I do with this? Do I let it slide? I haven't seen him in 19 years, and there is about a 98 3/4 chance he has no idea he has siblings other than his brother. Do I, as his sister, have the right to bring this up or is that the most selfish thing you've ever heard? Maybe he does know about me and has been searching for me all these years. Maybe his whole world will crumble if I try to contact him. Any ideas, you very smart, pretty people?