You know what happens when you are forced to run in 6th gear for, oh, I don't know, 10 months or so? You run in 6th gear, that's what. You know what happens when you finally get to shift down to 2nd? You get sick, that's what.

I felt it coming the day after I got to Denver, but I had 5,639 things to do and there was no time for it. I wrote the tummy ache off to eating nothing but tomatoes and avocados for a few days. I felt it coming stronger Friday morning in Denver, but I wrote that off to getting my ass absolutely whomped that morning on the Wii by my best friend. Friday night it hit, and pretty hard, but I had a hot date with a very hot girl, and nothing was standing in my way. I spent most of Saturday crying before I hit the airport and began 12 glorious hours of travel, and I figured my head hurt because of that. Sunday I had 3 gorgeous kids to make out with and a sister-in-law to paint the town red with (read-go buy seafood at the outdoor market. Um, we're old). Monday I had to drive an 8 1/2 round trip drive with the kids, and so I told my body to suck it up. Monday night....well, I didn't have anything to do Monday night. And so, I died.

I didn't take anything until yesterday. I figured my sissy ass had a cold and so I took something over the counter (Canadian over the counter, mind you) for colds, and not a dent was put in me. Since yesterday, I have taken Theraflu, ibuprofen, codeine and sleeping pills (those, honestly, were just little presents: it's not every day a mom of three gets to take codeine and sleeping pills, you know) and this cough medicine that is more or less liquid vicks vapor rubs mixed with pine sol.

Nothing. Works. I am so freaking sick I can't even believe it. Best part? 2of3 went and fucked up royally and got his ass grounded for 2 days. The worst 2 days. The two days I couldn't remember how to take a shower. So, I've got 3of3 who is behaving much like a puppy; guarding me, never, ever leaving my side, wiping my nose and applying chapstick liberally to my whole face, and 2of3, who is bored out of his ever-loving mind and very hopeful that in my delirium I will forget about the grounding, or at least fall asleep during one of his escape attempts.

It's been a fun week.

But the good news is that we are here, and settled at last, and our shipments from Denver are slowing starting to make it through Customs and school starts in three-count-them-three weeks. And hoo-fucking-ray for that.

My Children: An Outsiders Perspective

Sometimes I think it's just me who sees it, but nope; they are what they are.

My sister-in-law flew into Seattle today to spend the weekend with Josh and the kids. I called her to make sure she arrived in one piece:

Her: Oh my god, you have the most beautiful children.*

Me: Dude, I know. What's going on?

Her: We're driving back to the border. 1of3 has his head under a pillow; he says he's reading something.

Me: Yeah, he figured out that he doesn't get car sick that way.

Her: Ohhhhhh. *giggle* 2of3 hasn't stopped talking since my plane landed. And 3of3 keeps asking questions. To her shoes.

My children, I swear to god, are their own walking, talking stereotypes.

*You guys didn't really think I'd leave that part out, did ya?

And I'm Usually So FOND of the Four Letter Words

Well, I certainly have had a busy few days. After a 4 1/2 hour drive in the middle of the night on no sleep and a bladder that has fallen victim to three small humans who thought it made a lovely trampoline, I arrived at the airport in Seattle and boarded a plane bound for the Mile High City. Notice anything missing?
That would be my children, not present. I am here for 7 days with, that's right, NO kids. You'd think I'd be doing jumping jacks, but I'm not. A) I am way to old for jumping jacks. B) I have never left them for this long.

As I took off, the baby 3 seats down from me kept saying "Momma, pwane! Momma, fwy!" And every single inch of me ached for my little girl. As we came into the front range, and Denver stood tall in the distance like a lego creation in a dust storm, I longed for my sons in a way I can't explain.

But, truth be told, I have gotten more accomplished in the past 4 hours than I have in the past 10 months, so there is totally an upside here. And 1of1 has been exchanging the funniest emails with me all day, which is, like, the greatest gift ever.

Except that THIS is the greatest gift ever.

I don't care what I've said before; this right here is the best present I have ever, or will ever, receive. It's not just that it's gorgeous; it's the fact that someone else has taken the time to watch and love my children enough to understand their amazing little nuances. It's perfect in every single way. I spent most of last night staring at it. It makes being apart from them that much easier.

Last night, it was dinner with my very bestest friends, my family of sorts, those people that I love more than anything. Today, it's with the fucking packing.

Move is a four-letter word.