she strikes again!

Toddler for sale! For the low low price of $1,499 or $36/month!

Trade also accepted for a laptop that isn't missing 14 keys.

On that note:

How many words can you make out of these letters (you can also use a down-arrow symbol, even though that key has been lost to the vortex)?

an observation

Just an observation, people, so don't ask what you're going to ask because the answer is no. NO.

Once you've been pregnant, are you just forever perpetually pregnant?

I woke up this morning and the only thing I could think was guacamole. Not coffee, guacamole. So, off to the store I went to get avocados. Now, seeings how guac is not exactly the most ideal breakfast plan, I waited until 1 to make it. As soon as it was made, and consumed (yummmmm), the only thing I could think was granola with yogurt. Now I just want peanut butter.

Almost 19 months later; I'm still eating like it's my second trimester.

Update: You know what happens when you eat like you're pregnant even though you most certainly are not? You spend the rest of the afternoon trying really hard not to throw up, that's what.

a whole new reason to buy candy

In-between DI, Shakespeare rehearsals, PTA elections (say hello to the new Treasurer), planning somethingPalooza, work, diapers and laundry, we have been working on a science project. B is in the GT program at his school and every quarter they have a project to do. Last time it was the Holocaust and this one was science. Just in After going through, like, five thousand ideas, we settled in on atoms. B really wanted to do something with atoms. Why this kid just can't build a volcano, I'll never know.

So, we figured out how to build an atom. Then we had to figure out how to explain it to his class. We came up with this....

It's a board game. You draw a card that has an element and information from the Periodic Table on it and then follow the directions to find out how many protons, electrons and neutrons you need to create the atom for that element out of JujiFruits (protons and neutrons) and pipe cleaners (electrons). Amidst the instructions are interesting facts about atoms*.

It's fun, educational and will give you a sweet sugar-buzz.

That's what we've been up to.

We live on the edge.

*Did you know that if a cell was the size of a sports arena (say, oh, Coors Field or something) that an atom in that cell would be roughly the size of a pea inside it? Cool, huh?


I was going to type a big long post on the Partial Birth Abortion ban that passed today, but, quite frankly, it makes my head hurt and doesn't really affect me since the odds are pretty high that I'm never getting laid again, and so I move on to this, which affects me quite a lot indeed....

My kids' big ass annual school fundraiser* is here. Here-ish. It'll be here on May 12th. Here's the deal:

Instead of selling you stale popcorn and porcelain Jesus', we throw a concert. A rock concert. A surprisingly fun rock concert. We have two school bands that perform, and then four or five local Denver bands. The Mercury Cafe hosts it every year. It goes from 6-2, and yes, Andy, there is beer. There is also wine and shots and martinis and dinner.

The line-up looks something like this:
  • Our school concert band opens the show. They are all 2nd-5th graders and they do a 45 minute set of classical music. It's cute.
  • The Denver School of the Arts sends over their Small Jazz group to play a 45 minute set. They are freakishly good.
  • The Panic plays next. They are 13-15 year old who play in one of their garages. They are NOT a school-sponsored band. They play Classic and Top 40 rock. Sometimes they say a bad word. And you know what? They kick serious ass. They played last year and we hope they play every year.
  • Next up is Falling Rock. They are also a Classic Rock band, but they are not 13-15. They were, like 30 years ago. The bassist in the band is the dad who came up with the whole idea for the concert in the first place. He is also my old neighbor and now a published author. They are fun and good normally, and by the time the get on stage they are usually pretty drunk, which makes them funner and gooder.
  • Following them is The Reals. Most of the band are old friends of mine, which oddly enough has not one single thing to do with them playing our show. They are kind of bluegrassy-americana, and they are wicked awesome. They have played our show every year we've ever done it and have promised to play every year we ever do.
  • And then there's this one other band playing. I really cannot tell you who they are because we are strictly forbidden to advertise the fact that they are playing in any way, but I can tell you this: They were nominated for a Grammy this year and they are from Denver. If you get me drunk enough, I might tell you who they are. I might also try to make out with you, though, so be warned.
And that's it. Tickets are $15 or four for $50. Bring your kids, bring your grandma, but do try & come. It's a good night and every stinking dollar we raise goes to the school.

*Now, if I were to directly link you to the website for it, you would have the name and address of the school my little tax deductions attend. You already have seen enough pictures of them to have their sweet little faces burned into your brains for eternity, and so, in the interest of not making it any easier for some pedophile to come snatch my kids, you will have to request a link to the website via email. If you don't already know it, leave a comment and I'll send it to you.

woo hoo! a contest!

The question:
50 kisses will go to the first person who can correctly guess the animal that is the subject of this, as of yet incomplete, shoebox diorama....

(address must be provided by winner for delivery of "the goods")

Bonus round:
Double or nothing here, kids. Guess the substance our animal in question is made from.