lest I forget

Tonight, if you don't have a hot date or a chat room or anything, you should swing by.

Rocky Mountain Blogger Bash 5.5

Friday, August 25, 2006
Minturn Saloon Moon Time Bar
Pseudo-Centrally Located
846 Broadway | Denver, Colorado

It would help to be in Denver, too. I forget that only 85 3/7% of the blogosphere is out of Denver sometimes. It's true, just ask the Retropolitan. He'll tell ya.

Anyway, it should be good fun. If you buy Andy enough shots, he'll tell you all about how I make his heart go pitter-pat. Rae will be there, too. She has super-hot knees. I will not be there. Maybe I will get snot-slingin' drunk at home all by myself in honor of it, though. Maybe I'll call you, all drunk, if I do!

pluto in da' hiz'zouse

Or not.

I am afraid to read my horoscope. Who will I blame for mob-violence? What will be responsible for wiping our slates clean? What mystic force will govern the influences on generations to come?

Clearly not our dear old friend Pluto.

No, not THAT Pluto, dummy. The other warm, fuzzy, adorable Pluto.

Some "facts"on Pluto:

If you are old enough for me to make out with you, your Pluto is in Libra. This just means that your Pluto, and my Pluto, and his Pluto are all conspiring to bring about harmony and justice. And also unforseen chaos. Pluto has been simutaniously blamed for ending the Vietnam war and for beginning the War On Terror. If you need that in easier, bite-sizes terms, Pluto can be held responsible for keeping me married while at the same time inciting me me kill this motherfucker. Two-faced, that's out friend Pluto.

If you are just old enough for me to have a torrid love affair with or borrow cash from your retirement fund from, your Pluto has been in Virgo. This just means that your Pluto has put you to work, organizing, labeling and shredding papers. Your Pluto wants you to be perfect but wants to find fault with you while you try. Your Pluto is also probably pretty sexy. All Virgos are pretty sexy.

If you are old enough to know better, your Pluto has been in Leo. Your Pluto is better than everyone else's Pluto. It is great in bed.

And that's it. Before that, Pluto spent a little time in Cancer and before THAT Pluto was not a planet. Oh, wait, Pluto is still not a planet. Shit.

bank of mom

My parents taught me many things. They taught me how to play a guitar, they taught me how to fight with your spouse. They taught me that birth control is very, very important and that beating your kids up is not a good way to maintain a close relationship. They did not however, not even once, bother to teach any of us the value of a dollar. Savings was not a word ever uttered in our house. When I asked my dad if there was any money set aside for college, he literally laughed at me and said something to the effect of, 'You're really smart. Get a scholarship'. My mom was afraid of the bank and kept all 5 dollars she had every month in cash in a jar in the kitchen.

My husband grew up fairly wealthy. He had pretty much everything he ever wanted and never had to work for anything. He went to an Ivy League college and discovered the joys of AMEX. And then his mom lost her ass in the stock market. The cash flow ended and he was left, a twenty-something spoiled kid, left to trudge through the world of fiscal responsibility all alone.

I have no interest at all in my children repeating either of these scenarios in their lives. If I teach them anything at all, the three things that really matter to me are kindness, humility and good money sense. I hope they never know the word struggle. I hope they appreciate the value of a dollar (or looney) and I hope they feel the pride of money well earned.

And so we save. They have three chores to do every week

and upon completing those chores they get three dollars.

They each have a super-fantastic piggy bank to save their money in. The boys' come from a local potter in their grandma's small home town; L's came from my awesome friends on the day of her birth.

Every month they have the potential to earn $12. They have two choices; keep the $12 in the piggy banks and spent it as they see fit or put some of it away in the real bank. Most banks offer a young kids' savings program that offers a nice interest rate. Our credit union in Denver had a great one.

Here's how we sweeten the deal: Every month they can earn up to $12. If they keep, say, $6 and invest the other $6, I will match the $6 they invest. If they invest all $12, I will match all $12. At the end of a years' time, their $144 investment can become $288, not including interest. We do this because sticking your money into a bank where you can't hold it and count it is a hard thing for a kid to do. It takes a while to grasp the concept of that money actually being there, not to mention growing. Not many kids are too keen on giving their hard earned money to a stranger behind a counter, so my thought is that if they see the value I place in it by watching me double their funds monthly, maybe they'll realize that it's an important and safe thing to do.

B is an excellent saver. He has already accumulated $100 in his piggy bank alone, Which he counts every chance he gets. He will not believe us when we tell him he can skip the pennies. He counts it all. Out loud. He is really excited to open his new Canadian account and start investing it. T is a silent saver. He gets the change out of the couch cushions, he picks up every penny he sees on the sidewalk. They all go in his bank. B is really good at talking him into "sharing" his money, hence B's $100 to T's $30, but they seem to get the concept of saving. That's all I ask.

They are both saving for PSP's. I have the feeling they will both have enough for them by this time next year.

since tuesday

Really, it's been that long? Hmmm, let's check, (scroll down, scroll down) yep. Since Tuesday. Well, kind of a lot has happened since Tuesday. Let's see:
  • I had a complete nervous breakdown
  • I said very, very nasty things to a complete stranger
  • I think I ran up an insane impressive phone bill
  • My daughter is almost walking
  • She said "mama", and actually meant ME!
  • She also waves bye-bye and ni-night, but not it that order
  • I went on a talking-to-my-husband hiatus
  • I said goodbye to a dear old friend
  • I ripped the spiggot off the bathtub
  • The baby got her first shower
  • I fell in love. With Mozilla.
  • I am almost down 10 lbs.
  • I bought my tickets to Vegas and Denver
  • I found my new cell phone. The cell phone. The one I've been waiting for. I shall call him Armundo. Maybe Arturo. I can't decide. But he will be mine.
Let me say that again. I. Got. My. Car. It was an epic saga complete with insults, swordplay and a catchy soundtrack by John Williams. I laughed, I cried, I hurled. e-rocks. I hurled e-rocks. And today, at 2ish, I drove my car away from customs.

I will tell you the story later. I may also tell you about the extreme shopping I did after I picked the car up. Dude, my husband's gonna kill me. But I don't care. I'll die transported.

I may also share the bad news the mechanic gave me. This will be a long, heart-breaking tale. It will make you wish you were my shiny new Canadian mechanic. It will make you glad you are not my bank account.

I hope I remember to tell you about my last bus rides, how rude the one driver was, how not rude and very dreamy the other driver was, the fist-fight, the bike-tossing, the security guards...oh, it was great.

I will definetly show you pictures of T on his purty new bike he got today. That is, I will show you pictures as soon as I buy a new camera. My old, deceased friend? Yep, my poor little digital camera has shuffled off this mortal coil. Maybe she was old, maybe she didn't like baby drool as much as we all thought she would. But she's gone, none the less. Lurker_peg, as president of the baby-in-the-upper-right-hand-corner club, you are officially in charge of collecting donations for the new camera so I can keep up with your Lily-fix. We don't want you DT'ing on us, now do we?

I will certainly tell you all the juicy plans we have for Las Vegas and then I will sheepishly tell you how I am blowing off almost every single person I have known for the past 14 years to spend a, well, fabulous weekend with a bunch of people I have not known for the past 14 years. MollaGe, you will be getting a phone call. We need to make some plans. I am at your disposal for one night.

But for right now, I will tell you one thing only...shopping wears a sista out. I am going ni-night.