Making' Babies

I spend way more time on this little space o' mine talking about shoving people out of my hoo-hah than I think is fitting. It's not really why I write this thing, but the story keeps coming back up anyway. Sarcastic Mom is doing a Carnival of Torture Labor today, and who am I to resist, really?

You can read, if you must, my first son's very long-winded, detailed, touching birth story here. Then you can click here and read the slightly shorter, slightly snarkiner story of my second son's birth. If you must, you could click this link and read the 3/4 of a paragraph that I managed to piece together of my third child's birth. Really, I don't remember most of it. And yes, I was sober through the whole thing. Poor third kid.

In the interest of participation, and in the interest of A) not boring you to tears and B) not subjecting you to the pure horror that is the picture my mother-in-law decided to click of my hootchie-chootchie immediately after I gave her a shiny happy grandson (will she ever just be nice to me? Sheesh!), I offer you the clif-notes version of the worst 27 months of my whole damn life.

I hate being pregnant the way Marilyn Manson hates going to church.

Kid one: I gained 105 pounds, I have 3 permanently fused vertebrae in my lower back and a highway on my tummy in stretch marks.


Point: It's Easter Sunday. Do you know why it's Easter Sunday, how they pick the date? I'll tell you.

Passover has always, like always, been observed on Nisan 14. Nisan 14 is the date when the first full moon occurs after the Spring Equinox, and it has been used to keep with the lunar connections of the old Jewish calanders.

Now, if you go read something like John 19:14 , you will note that Christ was crucified on or just before Passover, during preparations for it (there are contentions as to whether it was actually Passover or not, and I haven't had enough coffee to get into those details.) You really don't need to follow that link, though. Everyone knows about the Last Supper.

Mine would have been better

I had a really great Thursday Thirteen all written in my head for today, because today is awesome, but someone went and one-upped me. As he usually does.

For those of you who don't know, Mas Younon was my first....well...everything. We dated (read: he put up with my crazycrazy yet shockingly hot ass) for 3 1/2 absolutely radical years. He may be the single greatest man alive today. He is still, after everything I have drug him through, totally my BFF.

For his birthday, I tried to write him a sweet post, but it ended up more salty in his mind. He tried to get me back today, and oh my did he ever fail miserably. He's just too damn funny for his own good.

It would seem that we are now locked in a pathetic cycle throwing rocks at each other on the playground giving each other paybacks on the internet. My payback?


Mas Younon wrote his first Thursday Thirteen today, and I am using it as a contest. Because I'm lazy and a bitch, that's why. Go read his post; you'll figure out what to do. Leave your answers in either his comments or mine.

Prize to be determined, but quite possibly could be a copy of one of the many mixtapes I have made for Mas Younon.

PS: It is also the first day of spring and the day when Physics takes a flying leap. Here's proof:

No Strings Attached