Backfires, and Other Random Gun References. Because, Apparently, I Like Guns Suddenly. Whatever; I Went to Denver And This is What Happened.

I spent last weekend in Denver, watching one of my very best friends in the whole world get married. I had every intention of using my weekend back home, snuggly tucked away in a downtown hotel room, to work on my book or to catch up on sleep or to take a series of what were to be the longest showers in the history of bathing - because I could, that's why - but I made it downtown, tripped and fell into this:

Amy and Aimee and Jeremy and Jim and Bugfrog (wisely not pictured) and me and the bottle makes three tonight. Or something like that. And then I ended up with my old friends from the bar I worked at in Denver, with whom I totally intended to have deep, meaningful conversations about life and love and the proper amount of ammunition to carry on one's person at any given time, but all I walked away from that night with was a headache, puke breath and this:

I think that's a photo of a lime dipped in sugar, which means I was A) with David at Whiskey Bar and B) excessively drunk and C) had a raging case of the hiccups. Do I remember why I took a picture of a lime dipped in sugar?

What is a Rhetorical Question for $300, Alex.

A few hours of sleep and one bottle of Aleve later, I watched my kids godfather get married.

Looking On

After the wedding, my other best friend and I intended to have a glorious, albeit last minute date night, complete with bottles of wine and cushy hotel beds and late night tv and general girly giggliness, not like that, pervs, but we ran into ALL my blog-fathers at a Rocky Mountain Blogger Bash Fest.

Jed got a fabulous camera pic of my tits sweet face Combs smiled because he realized that Texas has changed me from a left-wing tree hugging hippy into a gun-toting, oil-guzzling libertarian. And there was much rejoicing. And by rejoicing, I mean 'welcoming me to the dark side'. And by welcoming, I mean getting hit on by Zombyboy and Vodkapundit.

And then I overslept, again, and didn't have time to get the family gifts on my way home which is fine if I'm in, like, Kansas or something but not even close to okay if I am in the land of their birth, so I did the cheesy airport gift-shop run for the boys and the cheesier airport-at-home gift shop run for my daughter, who can't read but thinks Texas is a great name for a new stuffed monkey, and when I handed out the gifts as they piled on top of me in my doorway at home, my husband came up behind all of us, put his hand on my shoulder, and sweetly whispered, "Welcome home, honey." I looked up at him and, with a little wink, said, "You'll get your present later." He smiled, and we turned to our children. What I'd hoped to be a subtle, sultry moment between my husband and I turned into our oldest son sneering at us and saying, "GROSS, guys", and storming off in a cloud of unmitigated tweenaged disgust.

I think my kid is on to us.

Denver DNC Recap: The Important Stuff Part Three

So, yeah, my friend David and I threw a little party on the last night of the DNC.  I say friend loosely; I'm not sure he's still talking to me after the whole Sarah Palin speech.  We sort of, well, disagree. Bygones.  I'd still make out with him.

There are 8 million things I could say about being in Denver on that night, while that speech took place, at the tail end of that convention, but someone else has said all of it better.  I will say this, though; I have the best blog friends ever.  I sat in a bar that was more or less a 50/50 split of Democrats and Republicans, and I am serious when I say that if those people were the ones running the campaigns, America would be a much more respected place today.  A bar full of booze, a city full of opinions, and no one got into so much as a spat.  Decency is the sexiest personality trait, if you ask me.

My Left Nutmeg, which is without doubt the best names blog in the land, not only came all the way from Connecticut to Denver and then to our little party, they brought me one Official Media Pass from their site.  The way to my heart is through the keepsakes.

Antman, founded and owner of Cre8Buzz, made a rare public appearance and in keeping with his mystique, took one very shrouded-in-mystery picture with yours truly.

Mysterious, no?  The Blogger formerly known as Andy got all the ladies nametags that night.  Really, this is just the tip of the iceberg.  By the time he went home, no one knew what color his shirt actually was.

I think they were really funny, but maybe I was drunk after all.  I look like an evil undead zombie in this picture, but I've been waiting years to get a picture with Wheels.  I may never get the chance again.

And if you ever need an inappropriate folk singer/ukulele player, I totally have your guy.

Aimee Greeblemonkey (did you know we used to be neighbors) (she also totally made our logo for the night) and Julie from MotherGooseMouse (oh yes, she will be mine) made it down, and Aimee and I did not manage to get one picture together.  We did get several drunk pictures together at BlogHer, though; I think we can call that a wash.

Warm and fuzzy, yo.  Warm.  And Fuzzy.

We had something of a 15 year high school reunion, what with a shitton of us from high school all there.

Now I have an excuse to skip the 20 year.  Not like I needed one.  While I'm at it, this girl just so happens to be, like, my best friend and through 17 years, through being my freaking maid of honor, we've never managed to get one picture together.  Until a week ago.

Molly makes the best nametags ever.  Mine?  Said, "Mr Lady if you're nasty."  Epic.

There are a bazillion other people that came, and I have a bunch of other pictures that have been sent my way, but I can't find them because I am blond.  And disorganized.  So, I'll just say this: If you were there, thanks.  If you helped pay for it, double thanks.  If you are Hubs and failed in every way (or succeeded in failing) to get a picture taken with me, you owe me.  And now I know what you look like.  Mwahahahaha.

Pictures stolen with a little slice of love from Tara (Lijit), Aimee (Greeblemonkey) and Molly (Soapy Water)

The Last Post About the Rocky Mountain Blogger Bash, I Swear (with my fingers crossed behind my back)

In 6 short days, I will hop on an airplane, fly over the Rocky Mountains, and land in my homesweethome.  I will hop in a cab at Denver International Airport, haul ass downtown, curl my hair in the bathroom of a wine bar, slip on some fishnets and throw the best party the world has ever known, or ever will know.

Or something like that.  I swear I'm bringing a toothbrush.

Anyways, The Rocky Mountain Blogger Bash 5000, Donkeys Over Denver, is August 28th at 7:30 pm at the bar I worked at for, like, FOUR years, Trios Enoteca.  There will be food.  There will be booze.  A lot of that will be free.  F-R-E-E.

You can thank,, and my personal soft spot, for getting me drunk and probably knocked up providing all those amazing bloggers with a few break-the-ice drinks and some snacks.

Please, if you do nothing else today, click through to those links.  You can totally turn your girl scout pin if you do.  They are SAVING MY ASS, yo.  I love them all more than chocolate.

If you're feeling really crazy, you can throw our little animated gif (thank you RWTY Sam, Will @GamingWith Baby, Ender @RedMonkey, Ryzun13, Matt @RedSparks, Justin Rummel and BusyDad for helping and/or offering to help me with that) (my friends ROCK, yo) on your sidebar. 

make avatar

Here's the code:

a href=""><img src="" width="160" height="160" border="0" alt="make avatar" /></a

(Add a bracket on the beginning and end of that, okay?)

If you happen to be in Denver next Thursday, pleasepleaseplease come by, grab a beer, and say hi.  I am missing the birthday party of the dead sexiest man I've ever met in my whole life to throw this party; I will need distraction. *wink*

And yeah, let's take the White House back, shall we?  GO BLUE.

Hey, Baby...Are You A Member of the Mile High Club?

While I'm waiting on pictures from my camera, I might as well tell y'all about this:

Donkeys Over Denver

David and I are officially ready to announce the

Rocky Mountain Blogger Bash 5000 : Donkeys Over Denver

The website is up and running, with a spiffy header designed by the always lovely Aimee Greeblemonkey, Trios Enoteca is booked for the night, there's a keg waiting for us from Wynkoop Brewery, we've got Lijit officially sponsoring the event, and there's a rumour that my old buddies at CreBuzz might help us fund our little event, too.

Which would rock.

Because we don't have enough booze yet.

And booze is going to be really, crucially important in a room full of democrats AND republicans.

The official details are:

August 28, 2008
Trios Enoteca
1730 Wynkoop·Denver, CO 80202
7:30 PM to Close

Free Food and Free Beer & Wine
(In limited supplies and only if we like you.)

RSVP and get additional info available at our website.

Please, if you wouldn't mind passing along the info to anyone you know who will be at the convention, near the convention, affected by the convention or thirsty after the convention, we'd be really grateful.