***** BREAKING NEWS UPDATE *****
(December 31, 2012, from Mr Lady Torso Cheif @Schadenfreudette) Images from the scene have started to come in and they are indeed as disturbing as we had feared. (Warning: these images are of a graphic nature and may not be appropriate for sensitive readers.)
After a busy day of speculation across multiple social media channels, Mr Lady retrieved the object pictured above from the Belly Button. A resounding "WTF IS THAT?" was heard 'round the internet as theories once thought ridiculous, now seem completely plausible. "When I first saw the pictures, I thought it was some sort of bug," said Schadenfreudette in between gagging noises. "But clearly it must be some sort of alien antenna. We've got people working on it now."
Mr Lady insists that the object actually appears to be an intact set of stitches, but was unable to explain where they might have come from. There is a remote possibility that Developer has launched a nanotechnology initiative to reconnect the umbilicus. Mr Lady Worldwide Torso PR is standing by the theory of imminent alien eruption, as it is the more favorable of either scenario.
The internet is welcoming the tiny alien being with open arms, though the yet unnamed life form is trying to keep a low profile. It has been spotted out and about disguised as Axl Rose and in the company of its pterodactyl posse. It is also in talks to record a song with R Kelly entitled "Trapped in the Navel while Trapped in the Closet."
3of3 has provided this illustration of her new "puppy-kitty-sister-brother!!!" and we hope to have a family picture soon.
Reluctant to comment is Jim Lin, saying only "As long as that's the only orifice excreting alien/stich/nano things, I'm cool. But I'd rather not think about it too much right now."
It is expected that the "alien/stitch/nano thing" will have it's own Twitter account soon. This effort might be led by the team responsible for Bubble Yum Wind Tunnel. We'll bring you updates as they become available.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Ninth Circle of Hell, AZ – (December 30, 2012) – In what can only be described as a definitive - yet gruesome - display of its true feelings, Mr Lady’s Belly Button spewed forth a significant amount of blood in the early morning hours. The Belly Button was initially established over 30 years ago as an umbilical cord delivering vital nutrients directly from the original developer of the project, Mr Lady's mother. The umbilicus was severed soon following completion and delivery, and the figurative umbilicus was severed approximately 16 years later. This recent development is widely regarded as a final "FUCK YOU" to the developer, as it was the closest portal by which they were connected, though there is still much speculation. Until an official cause is released, rumors persist of an imminent alien eruption or the regrowth of Mr Lady's Uterus. (Uterus could not be reached for comment, but was last seen on the Sarah Lawrence campus, double majoring in Public Policy and Women's Studies with a minor in Drum Circle Leadership.) We are still awaiting photos from the scene, but witnesses describe it as "totally weird" and "a little unsexy, but just flip over."
When asked about the possibility of reconstruction efforts, Jim Lin (Ladyparts Liaison and General Manager) was reluctant to confirm details. "The work done in 2010 was really fantastic, but this is a completely different orifice. If we aren't careful, we'll have lint coming at us like ninja stars and that's not safe for any one."
We'll keep you updated as reports come in from the field. If you have news regarding this breaking story, please contact Schadenfreudette with Mr Lady Worldwide Torso PR (Formerly "Mr Lady Reproductive Public Relations")
And then something came out:
And then we made a Pinterest board for it: