Real World Killed the Video Star

I'm sitting in the same bar I've sat in every night for the past 6 nights, somewhere in the middle of Los Angeles, all by myself. I always think that these work trips are going to be so totally amazingly awesome, that I'll get so much done and enjoy the peace and quiet I am constantly begging any deity who will still listen to me* for.

And then I get here and my daughter calls me to tell me she meeds me, momma, and my middle son has emoticon text wars with me and my oldest son tells me every single thing he's done for me to keep the house together while I'm gone, and I try to go to the gym to sweat out the fact that I undeniably miss them but what I really end up doing it eating all the cheesecake room service will bring me and watching MTV all night, which doesn't actually have music on it anymore. Yo Yo Yo, MTVdumbteenagers! It just doesn't have the same ring to it.

And so I fall asleep at one and I wake up at four because my ears are ringing from the silence which is okay because in three days, when I'm home, I'm going to be bitching about how my house is clearly an echo chamber and how, though I do little right in life, I can totally make a mean pair of lungs. Three times over, in fact.

Yes, there is a point, and it is that we're talking about getting enough rest at my little review blog and it's the very last post in a series that ends in $100 gift certificate going to one of the commenters, so get going already. I'll be sitting here trying to figure out what the point of this Bachlorette show is.

*Turns out, there aren't any. Not even that delicious Flying Spaghetti Monster.

She Really Needs to Get Out of the House More Often, That's All.

And still, she doesn't finish the cop story.

She still also doesn't have a wallet or her super crazy hot red glasses anymore. Which is totally the punchline of the story. Bygones.

This all means that she can't see out of 2/3 of her eyeballs, and she doesn't have the insurance card she'll need to replace her glasses.

None of this excuses the whole third person thing. She really can't explain that. What she can tell you is that she's been writing much more coherently for BlogHer and Crystal Light, talking about summer vacation and great auntie Babbas and stuff.

And that every comment on any one of these posts this month enters you for a $100 giveaway. Every comment on her regular blog enters you for a chance at an email. Which is worth it's weight in gold, of course.